Jul 182000

I would really like to have my wife perform anal pleasure on my ass but she doesn’t seem to be very into it. She enjoys receiving anal sex, and I have mentioned in the past what I would like her to do, but I can tell she’s a little weirded out by my request. Any suggestions?


Congratulations on coming out of the backdoor closet! I think it is especially revolutionary for straight men to admit their desire to be the receivers of anal pleasure. You join plenty of men who want to get done in the ass, and I promise you that once you’ve had your prostate gland stimulated, you’ll never be the same again! For men, it’s a chance to be penetrated, to give your body over to a woman in a new way. Seriously, I think every man should be fucked in the ass at least once in their life, and I am so glad you are ready to try it. I truly believe that getting fucked in the ass is one of the greatest gifts you can give a woman and yourself.

Now, on to your wife. I am not sure exactly why she is “weirded out” by your request. I can tell you that she doesn’t know what she is missing. Giving men anal pleasure gives women an opportunity to be the aggressor or the penetrator for the first time. Your wife has the chance to experience her sexual power as a woman and a giver of pleasure in a wholly unique way. Have you asked her directly why she might be hesitant to do it? Many people can buy into the myth that if men want to be fucked in the ass, then they are really gay. This is ridiculous, of course. Because anal sex is falsely linked with gay men and gay sex, there is a myth that if men want anal sex, then they must be gay. In most cases, men who identify as heterosexual and desire giving and/or receiving anal sex with women are not repressing homosexual desires or tendencies. Their desire for a particular sexual activity does not rely on or “cancel out” their sexual preference in a partner. According to research, more gay men regularly practice fellatio than anal sex, and as my friend Audrey says, “How come no one ever asks: if a straight guy likes blow jobs, does that mean he’s really gay?” Your wife may be a victim of this stereotype, and you need to assure her that you love her, are attracted to her, and want her to do you in the ass.

Different men also want to be fucked in different ways. Some want to be submissive as part of an SM scene, and giving up your ass can be an ecstatic way to submit. Men have lots of issues to get over when it comes to being penetrated (feeling passive, receptive, plus homophobia), so sometimes being “forced” to do it by a Mistress or dominant woman helps them take that leap. These are specific to SM, and may or may not apply to you. Either way, men don’t necessarily have to be bottoms to be fucked in the ass. I have personally fucked plenty of tops in the ass without flipping them — it’s all in the way you play it.

There are a few superb resources that I recommend you and your wife check out. They will help to open up a dialogue about this subject, and will also give you great information, tips, and techniques for doing the deed. The book, The Ultimate Guide to Strap-on Sex by Karlyn Lotney is informative and very useful. There are two videos: Bend Over Boyfriend is heavy on super instruction and stars real life couples. Bend Over Boyfriend 2: Less Talkin’, More Rockin’ has a title that says it all. Both are produced by S.I.R. Video.

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