My girlfriend has a severe anal sex fetish. She prefers it over vaginal intercourse. Fortunately, I don’t mind it one bit. We’ve done some ass-to-mouth stuff, since we are monogamous and STD-free. I’d like to experiment eating food out of her anus — either food shoved partially into the anus or food that has been completely inserted and then pushed out. I’m wondering what food products would be safe for this, since I don’t want anything to get stuck up there. So I’m looking for something that would be semi-rigid, but would also melt or dissolve if it got lost. I was thinking about things like M&Ms (the non-peanut variety) and other chocolate things, but I can only stomach so much chocolate.
–Butt Buffet Boy
Usually I advise people against sticking food in their ass, since food items are not sex toys and are better left in the kitchen. But you seem pretty invested in this food fantasy, so I’ll suspend my anti-food stance for this response. But before I go there, I just have to say that what you describe is an interesting twist on one of the most taboo desires in the world: scat play. Scat play involves people defecating into other people’s mouths, eating shit, and generally eroticizing it. It sounds to me that you like the idea of stuff coming out of your girlfriend’s ass, even stuff that resembles what typically comes out of our asses (you suggested chocolate, not me), but you want it to be previously undigested.
As long as you take care to insert your chosen edibles just inside the anus and not too far up, there’s no great danger of soft or small foods getting lost. What goes in will inevitably come out. You should avoid foods like jalapeno peppers, seeded breadsticks, and others that are spicy, abrasive, or could break into sharp-edged pieces, which could all irritate the delicate rectal tissue. Also stay away from salami or sausages, since nitrites used for preserving meat aren’t good for you. I’m glad to hear that you’ve both been tested for STDs, but it’s probably still a good idea if your girlfriend has an enema a few hours before your feast, since her ass contains bacteria that may be fine in the lower intestine, but may cause problems if you ingest it.