Nov 302005

I am very into anal play: rimming, butt plugs, and especially anal beads. However, I have some apprehension about penetration with a cock. A friend of mine who indulges in anal sex had told me that it made her ass, well, looser. In other words, it didn’t leak, but she found that the initial penetration of various objects became easier after she started doing anal. I am concerned that if I start indulging in penetration with a penis, that it will become noticeably easier to insert other non-human objects.

In particular, I’m concerned that my husband will start to notice because I currently have a lover on the side to satisfy my other needs (primarily BDSM). I am worried that if I start to let my lover fuck my ass that my husband (who is way too big for anal penetration) will notice and suspect something is up. What advice would you give me to let me have the cock and not get in trouble?

–Want to Have My Cake and Eat It, Too

Your friend who regularly has anal sex and now finds penetration easier is a little confused. Penetration done right will not make your ass looser or result in you losing control of your bowels—that’s a myth. However, it will make subsequent penetration easier, but not because you’re all stretched out. The more experience you have, the more you get used to relaxing your anal sphincter muscles and the easier it is to accommodate bigger toys or penises.

I think what you’re asking is: if I have anal penetration with a cock, will my husband be able to tell that I am having an affair and getting regularly buttfucked? The answer is: it depends. Will he be able to tell that you’re getting fucked in the ass just by looking? No. Will he figure it out if he plays with your ass? Well, he will probably notice that your ass can relax and open up easier and in less time than before; whether that causes suspicion or not really depends on him and your relationship. While I support people having multiple partners to meet their different sexual needs, everyone needs to be on the same page. Your husband has not consented to this other relationship, which isn’t fair to him. Ultimately, I can’t really condone cheating, nor can I offer any tricks to help you not get caught.

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