May 222013

My girlfriend and I have just begun talking about engaging in anal sex. Both of us are curious but have concerns. We are concerned about safety. We are worried about her ass being torn inside in some way. Can that happen?

–Curious But Concerned

The anus, anal canal and rectum are incredibly sensitive and are made up of very delicate tissue, so your concern is absolutely warranted. As long as you go very slowly, do lots of warm up, and use plenty of lube, it should feel comfortable and pleasurable for your girlfriend. If she feels any pain, you need to slow down or stop altogether. If you are patient and careful, you should not cause any tearing. However, because the area is so delicate, sometimes, you may cause a tiny tear without even knowing it. For example, afterwards, when she goes to the bathroom, there may be a little bit of blood on the tissue signaling a slight cut. She may not feel any pain or discomfort at all. If that does happen, don’t be alarmed. The body should heal itself and all should be back to normal within twenty-four hours.

  2 Responses to “Anal Advisor: Curious But Concerned”

Comments (2)
  1. I’ve only experienced one female partner who enjoyed receiving anal and would initiate it. Nonetheless we still had to be careful about it. We found the best way, after first doing the obvious preparations of cleaning, foreplay and lubing, was for me to be absolutely still and allow her to do all the moving at her own pace. One of the most pleasing aspects for me, was that she fully *trusted* me not to thrust into her too soon. That trust is absolutely essential I think, and is an honor. For the man, the self-control and holding back is truly delicious and erotic. Once inside her, I would hold still and wait for that special “ahhh!” moment when I’d feel her anus abruptly relax in full. Then thrusting could slowly begin, until we’d reach the stage where she was so open and relaxed that I could go as fast and hard as we wanted. Obviously, for anal sex to be successful like this, you cannot be rushed, tired or in a bad mood. You can’t even be entirely spontaneous because a certain amount of planning is needed. But with enough considerate and respectful practice, anal sex can be the most rewarding kind. Highly spiritual even.

    • You are so right about the care and trust. Once that is established, she can go at her pace, and you can hope to hold on! Three important points have always helped us. Lube, Lube, and Lube! It just gets so much better for hr, and great for him. Have her ride you reverse cowgirl in her vagina, after getting her ass ready, then, change to the back door in the same position. A bit of expirimentation will give her a great time, and if she knows the trick, a squirting “O” like never before.
      Happy trails!

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