Apr 022014
 

TTpromoheadshot

Shape Magazine interviewed me for their article “The New Porn That Will Transform Your Sex Life“:

“Feminist porn prioritizes authentic depiction of desire and pleasure, and shows authentic orgasms,” she says. “You’re not going to see a cookie-cutter repetition of ‘one way’ to be for men or for women, or ‘one way’ to have a sexual dynamic. You’re much more likely to see a diversity of bodies, desires, fantasies, and power dynamics.”

Read the whole article here, it also mentions Dusk!TV and Reid Mihalko.

I’m also quoted in the Nerve article by Lux Alptraum, “When Queer People Make Straight Porn.”

Furthermore, shooting heterosexual sex offered her the chance to directly challenge the misogyny and sexism that often comes bundled with ideas about straight porn. “You’re contending with this history of what we see men and women constantly engaging in… It’s actually more challenging for me…to work with the power dynamics when the sex is heterosexual.”

I went to Knoxville to speak at University of Tennessee’s Sex Week and despite legislators trying to stop the events, student attendance went up.

“Colleen Ryan, member of the SEAT executive board and freshman global studies, said Tristan Taormino, a sex educator and pornographic film director, was another favorite. However, he noted, it is typically the edgier events that draw fire from the public and the legislature.”

This weekend I’ll be in Toronto for the Feminist Porn Awards and the Feminist Porn Conference I’m producing. Here’s a mention in the Daily Xtra about both events.

If you can’t make it to the conference this weekend, you can spend some time studying porn at home – the first issue of Porn Studies was released and is available for free online for a limited timePorn Studies is the first dedicated, international, peer-reviewed journal to critically explore those cultural products and services designated as pornographic. It will develop knowledge of the history, modes, aesthetics, genres and subgenres of pornography, examining pornography’s institutional and industrial structures, its consumption and regulation.

Topics covered in the inaugural issue include research methods, psychology and pornography, and fair-trade and porn. Alongside articles, the journal includes a scholarly forum devoted to shorter observations, developments and issues in porn studies, designed to encourage exchange and debate. The first issue will be free to view at www.tandfonline.com until 31st May, after which it will be available via subscription only. All future issues will also be via subscription only.

And finally, check out the latest reviews of my kink book, 50 Shades of Kink. Released as an e-book last year, it’s now available in paper!

From BexTalksSex.com: “It needs to be in the nightstands of every housewife in middle America, next to the fuzzy handcuffs and Ben Wa Balls bought from the sleezy sex shop down the road; and then they need to read it and throw away the fuzzy handcuffs.”

From NightOwlReviews.com: “This is a must read book for anyone wanting to know more about BDSM.”

From ReviewsByAmosLassen.com: “..we now have a nonfiction account that shows us how to make our fantasies become realities.”

For advanced kinksters (or when you’re ready to take it to the next level), Krissy Novacaine talks about my other book, The Ultimate Guide to Kink.

I am picky about what books I recommend to others for kink. I want the whole book to give out sound (safe) advice while still holding on to the erotic element of the subject matter. This is the best book I have ever read to balance those two things.
- Full review here.

Jan 302014
 

sportsheetssm_adjustable_handcuffs_4

Sex educator Tristan Taormino has teamed up with Sportsheets and Good Vibrations to make this a very special Valentine’s Day! Tristan hand picked some of her favorite Sportsheets and Sex & Mischief toys to create Tristan’s Kinky Essentials Gift Box, available at Good Vibrations.

photo 2

This special gift set is chock full of kinky tools for some fun bondage and roleplay. Celebrate this Valentine’s Day in style with quality toys including: the signature Door Jam Cuffs (as featured in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples), Steele Balls (Kegel balls), the Doggie-Style Strap, Bondage Tape, Cuff Love (soft adjustable cuffs), Red Rubber Tickler, Soft Blindfold (as seen in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples) and a Riding Crop. All the tools you need to bring some kink into your life, packaged in a beautiful box, ready to give to that special someone. Instead of flowers and candy, give your sweetie what they really want: a hot night of sexual adventure with the promise of more to come!

And if you want some bedtime reading to go with it, why not check out Tristan’s e-book 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM, perfect for beginners curious about the world of kink. If you’re a little more advanced, then The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is a great read. If you’re looking for fantasy material, try Best Lesbian Bondage Erotica.

May 242013
 
Madison Young as a pony girl on the set of Rough Sex 2

Madison Young as a pony girl on the set of Rough Sex 2


Last month, I gave a talk as part of an evening called
The Truth Behind Fifty Shades of Grey at University of Maryland in College Park. There was a lively audience discussion, and we gave students the opportunity to ask questions anonymously. I asked several of my colleagues to chime in and answer a few of those questions.

Can it be hard to enjoy “vanilla” sex once you’ve escalated [to BDSM]? I’ve heard porn indulgence can desensitize people until they keep needing to escalate–is this the case with BDSM?

I asked my friend and colleague Felice Shays, a sex and BDSM educator, to take this one on. Listen to my fantastic interview with her on Sex Out Loud here. Felice says:

So, you are afraid to try things other than missionary positions, kissing, and other sexy acts because pot always leads to crack? And spanking always leads to bestiality? No, friend, don’t worry about escalation, as you call it. When you try out different things you’re figuring out what you like. Keep experimenting—add to what you and your partner enjoy; keep what works and don’t keep what doesn’t feel so good. But don’t be afraid to try something again down the road—what may feel eh today might feel off the charts next week. Watching lots of porn isn’t a bad thing unless it interferes in the healthy functioning of someone’s life (see Hernando Chaves’ discussion of sex addiction). People don’t get desensitized when watching lots of porn, hopefully they keep getting turned on. Their interests might shift over time, so what may have been a fantasy last month, may not be as hot this month. And yet other people love to watch the same kind of images throughout their lives. The good news is that sex is not like a runaway car, careening down a side of a mountain into the tiny town about to destroy the innocent townsfolk who live there. No. Instead, you get to make decisions about what you want, and when you want it. That includes if you want to gently kiss someone on their neck or press your teeth in a firm way against that flesh. Or if you want to be on top or you want to give or get it from behind. The other good news, is that no one gets to hold the truth to what vanilla or kink actually is. I can hear you say, “You know what I mean. Like spanking and dirty talk and like that.” And I say, what is someone’s “vanilla” may be someone else’s ‘you’ve gone a bit too far, pal’.  And vice versa. My friend says she and her husband are vanilla, yet he holds the back of her head as she’s sucking him off. He’s not forcing her or choking her, just getting off on how pretty she is, how good he feels, his hand in her hair, his cock in her mouth. And she loves it too; feeling just the right amount of pressure on the back of her head that makes her feel high and hot.

That’s playing with power right there. And they consider themselves vanilla—not kinky.

So I can’t tell you what vanilla is. And frankly, I don’t really give’s a rat’s ass. I want you happy and turned on, not bored.

It’s about what turns you on and what your desires are.

Desire, like other tastes, change and morph as we gain experience in the world.  And just because you love pizza, doesn’t mean you want to eat it every night.

Worry less and EXPLORE and EXPERIMENT more.

So when you add new ways of being sexy and sexual to getting it on, you might want to keep those new ways—plus any of the other ways you used to—whatever make you happy. And you probably won’t want to make love or fuck exactly the same way every time either. Mood, partner, time of day, if you’re high or drunk, all these things will affect what you want.

So if you try slapping someone’s face and realize you both really like it, the doors to vanilla are still yours to walk through. Cuddling, sex without an edge or ferocity, are still yours whenever you want it.

Keep open and curious—and don’t let fear run your sex, or your life, for that matter.

You are allowed to experiment explore and discover what you like.

ADD to your sexual vocabulary, don’t limit it.

Just think of the stories you will tell with all that new language.

It’s worth repeating: Worry less and EXPLORE more.

Felice Shays, Sex and BDSM Educator. Follow Felice on Twitter @FeliceShays

Jan 242013
 

50ShadesofKinkcover

Even with its flaws, Fifty Shades of Grey has become a worldwide phenomenon that simply cannot be ignored. It has sparked broad discussion and exploration of BDSM among mainstream media and everyday folks. My book, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge came out at a perfect time last year just as the Fifty Shades craze was taking hold. But I realized that The Ultimate Guide to Kink is not necessarily geared for beginners, so I wanted to write a prequel to it. That book was just released by Cleis Press: 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM. It’s an e-book available for the Kindle and the Nook. It’s the perfect book for anyone who’s been inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, is curious about kink, wants more information, or is just beginning to explore it. 50 Shades of Kink is a practical guide that moves beyond the fantasy and gives practical advice and techniques based on real world experience. You’ll learn techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, and rough sex and how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life.

Jan 212013
 

NUP_134426_0145.jpg
UPDATE! The show is currently re-airing, here is a full schedule:

January 22, 9:00 pm; January 26 at 3:00 am; January 28 at 8:00 am; January 31 at 9:00 pm; February 3 at 3:00 pm; and February 5 at 9:00 am

Bestselling author and sex educator Tristan Taormino is a featured expert in “The Real 50 Shades of Grey,” the latest edition of the E! Special series, which premieres on E! Entertainment Television on January 22 at 9:00 pm. This documentary special looks at the lives and relationships of real dominants and submissives and features commentary from BDSM experts. Taormino is a sought-after speaker and commentator on a range of sexuality issues, including alternative sexual practices and communities. Her groundbreaking collection The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge published by Cleis Press in 2012 features the work of leading kink experts from around the country. Dan Savage calls it “more than just a guide to kink, more than just a sex manual…everyone can learn from this collection.” Her latest book (also from Cleis Press), 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM, offers readers practical advice and techniques based on real world experience about how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life.

Here’s the full show description:

Whether shock, excitement or simply curiosity, it seems that everyone has a strong reaction to the bestselling erotic book trilogy that includes Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed. Having sold more than 60 million copies worldwide, the series set the record as the fastest-selling paperback of all time. What is it about the provocative lifestyle of the protagonists that has readers throughout the world riveted? Is it the non-traditional sex, the excitement of the unknown, or simply the story of love between two people expressed in a unique way? Hosted by E!’s Alicia Quarles, this one-hour special features commentary from therapists, authors and other experts about the practice, and also profiles the real-life experiences of couples who follow this lifestyle. Don’t miss a fascinating look at what used to be a very secret world in the E! Special “The Real 50 Shades of Grey” premiering Tuesday, January 22 at 9:00pm ET/PT, only on E!

In this special, real-life practitioners open up about the BDSM lifestyle. Viewers find out how they got involved, what the challenges of this lifestyle are and what they tell their families and friends about their choices. The show also looks into a high-profile case in which the sex game turned dangerous for the players, and experts weigh in on the risks and dangers of the lifestyle, and what participants must do in order to remain safe, both physically and psychologically. Find out how the “business” of bondage is growing too, as an instructor discusses the popular classes that are filling up with individuals and couples eager to enter this sexually-charged world. E! Entertainment Specials explore the hottest trends, the biggest stars and breaking stories, and “The Real 50 Shades of Grey” is part of its White Hot Winter programming in January.