Apr 242013
 

I want to have an enema before anal sex to make sure that I am nice and clean. I have read your advice in past columns about using the Fleet enema. Why is it necessary to empty the chemicals out of a Fleet enema and replace it with water?

–Curious About Cleaning

All store bought enemas (including Fleet and other brands) contain a laxative. Laxatives (which can also be taken in pill form) soften the stool and stimulate bowel movements, and people use them to help alleviate constipation. Most folks who want to engage in anal play have an enema to ensure that their rectum is cleaned out; they are not using it to clear a blockage. Using a laxative when you aren’t constipated will induce a very runny bowel movement, disrupt your system, and may even irritate the rectum.

When I recommend using a Fleet enema, I’m telling you to buy it for the disposable bottle with insertable tip, not for what’s inside. You rinse out the bottle, fill it with plain warm water, and use it as a douche for your butt. The water stimulates a bowel movement (in a much gentler way than a laxative) and rinses the anal canal and lower rectum. You can also buy a rubber bulb syringe for the same purpose, which is more expensive (it’s not disposable). Bulb syringes are made of thicker, more durable rubber and can be rinsed out and used again.

Mar 272013
 

There has been a lot of talk about HPV recently with the release of the new vaccine. But most of what I read for women concerns HPV in the vagina and PAP smears. As a girl who’s way more into anal sex than vaginal sex, what do I need to know about HPV? Can a person get HPV in their ass, is there a test for it, and how is it treated?

–Concerned Anal Citizen

There are more than one hundred types of the human papillomavirus (HPV), and more than forty different strains can be sexually transmitted and affect these areas: the vulva, vagina, cervix, penis, scrotum, anus, and rectum. HPV is a virus most closely associated with genital warts, although not all forms of HPV cause warts. Some of the strains of HPV are low risk and resolve themselves without treatment. High-risk types of HPV can cause abnormal cell growth and cervical cancer. According to Planned Parenthood,

At any time about 20 million people in the U.S. have [genital HVP infections]. Between 10 and 15 million have high-risk types that are associated with cervical cancer. HPV is so common that about three out of four people have HPV at some point in their lives.

The most common way to spread HPV is through vaginal and anal intercourse, but it can also be spread through rubbing, fingering, oral sex, or sharing sex toys. Condoms protect against HPV, but HPV may be present in the skin not covered by a condom, which is why gloves and dental dams should also be used.

Yes, you can get HPV in your ass. If it is a kind of HPV that manifests as genital warts, they can appear in as little as three weeks or as long as six months after infection. The warts begin as small pink bumps that look like cauliflower florets in or around the anus and rectum; they tend to spread rapidly, forming clumps of bumps that may be itchy. The bumps could be painful if they are irritated. Their incubation period is usually one to six months, but they can grow more rapidly if you are pregnant or have a compromised immune system. Remember, in many cases, someone with HPV may have no visible symptoms at all; in these cases, a physician will be able to see them during a rectal exam with an anoscope. Genital warts can go away on their own; or, they can be removed from the skin by applying chemicals to them (usually acids), burning them with an electric needle (electrocautery), freezing them with liquid nitrogen (cryotherapy) or with laser treatment. Even after visible warts are removed, HPV remains in your body, and the warts can recur.

The strains of HPV that can cause precancerous lesions on the cervix can be detected through a pelvic exam and PAP test. If you have HPV in your ass, it’s less common to have treatable precancerous lesions present since there is no cervix or cervix-like place for them to develop, though it’s still possible to have pre-cancerous cells which precede rectal cancer. To test for the presence of HPV in the ass when there are no warts, a physician takes a swab of the rectum and sends it for laboratory analysis (similar to a vaginal PAP test). If you regularly engage in unprotected anal penetration and think you have been exposed to HPV, you can request a rectal exam and an anal papilloma screening (also known as an anal PAP test). If the PAP results come back abnormal, then you should have an HPV test which tests the cells for the HPV virus. If the HPV virus is detected, you can have a colposcopy where they take a biopsy and can look closer at the cells. You can spread HPV from your ass to your vagina and vice versa, so if it has been discovered in one place, it’s advisable to get the other place checked. People diagnosed with HPV should have regular exams to monitor recurrences and prevent complications.

In 2006, a vaccine for girls and women was released that can prevent four strains of HPV: two of the strains account for 90% of cases of genital warts and two account for 70% of cervical cancer cases. The vaccine, currently marketed under the name Gardasil is recommended by the FDA for girls and women aged 9-26. However, women over 26 who have never been exposed to one or more of the strains of HPV can also benefit from the vaccine. Researchers still know much less about HPV infection in boys and men, including its long term effects, risk of cancer, early detection, and potential treatments, although several drug companies are (including Merck, makers of Gardasil) are conducting clinical trials on the vaccination of boys and men.

Feb 282013
 

My girlfriend loves anal pleasure, but she just cannot handle it. When I finger her asshole, and or touch her pussy at all, she says “it’s too much pleasure to handle.” She has to stop me because she says it feels too good, and that she can’t take it. Because of this, we have never gotten past the two finger mark. But she wants to have my cock in her ass, and of course so do I! How can I get my girlfriend to relax? We think we have tried everything short of drugs, which we don’t want to try. How can I get my girlfriend to give in to the pleasure and loosen up? We both really want to get my cock into her ass without hurting her!

–Help Me Help Her

A woman’s vulva, clitoris, and ass are extremely sensitive and sometimes, if the clitoris in particular is not fully engorged, it can feel overwhelming to have it stimulated. However, it’s rare that women complain that touching or fingering is too pleasurable. It sounds to me like there may be some emotional/psychological issues at work in your girlfriend’s assertion that stimulation feels too good. Perhaps she has some reservations about anal play that are causing her reaction; many people think it’s dirty, unnatural, and taboo, for example.

Your description also makes it sounds as if your girlfriend is tense in general about sex. (Of course drugs are not the answer, so don’t even go there!) I think she needs to explore her feelings about her body, sex, and pleasure and get to the bottom of what may be making her feel tense, overwhelmed, or overstimulated. Be supportive of this process and don’t put pressure on her to figure it out quickly so you can get your dick in her ass. I suspect that once she gets in touch with her inner feelings about these issues, your communication and sex life on the whole will improve, and then you can start to explore anal play together when you’re both in a better frame of mind.

Nov 272012
 

My wife and I are new to anal sex, but we’ve run into something I hope you can help us with. I’ve noticed that the normal hair around her anus can be kind of rough, as pubic hair can be, and this hair might be causing her some irritation. But we’re not sure if it’s a good idea to shave it off as that might make things worse or cause even more irritation. Any advice for us newbies?

–New and Hairy

Most people who shave their assholes do so for aesthetic reasons: they like a clean shaven asshole better than a furry one. However, the anus is a delicate little bugger, and can be irritated easily by many things, including cheap toilet paper, over wiping, and soaps and lotions. I suppose that some coarse hair could rub that puckered skin the wrong way and lead to some itching and discomfort as well, although I’ll admit it’s not a complaint I hear often.

You’re wise to be concerned about exacerbating the problem, since shaving can also be irritating to the area. I recommend you give it a try, though. Use a fragrance-free and chemical-free shaving cream that’s made especially for sensitive skin. Shave with the grain of the hair and don’t go over the same area too many times. Run cool water over the area after you’re done. If it feels irritated after you’ve patted it dry, apply a little Vitamin A & D ointment. Give it a chance to breathe and relax before you start to play with it. After you play with it, make sure she showers, washes with a mild soap like Castille Soap and reapplies the Vitamin A & D ointment.

Oct 102012
 

I know the ass is sensitive, but how many nerve endings are there in the ass? Is it the same in guys and girls? And are the “good feeling nerves” located in the sphincter or the rectum?

–Curious About Anatomy

The anus (the anal opening), the anal canal (the first few inches inside), and the rectum are all sensitive in different ways, which is why anal stimulation and penetration can be so pleasurable. The external and internal sphincter muscles surround the anal opening. These muscles can work together or independently of each other, and these are the muscles we must learn to relax in order to achieve comfortable anal penetration. When we talk about the sphincter and pelvic muscles and how they play a role in anal pleasure, we discuss them less in terms of sensitivity and more in terms of how tone and “in shape” they are and how tense or relaxed they are. The anus and the outer part of the anal canal are made of the same sensitive soft tissue and this tissue contains the most concentration of nerve endings of all our anal anatomy. In general, this tissue tends to be more sensitive to touch and vibration. The inner part of the anal canal and the rectum are mucous membrane and have a lot less nerve endings; however this tissue is much more sensitive to pressure (like from penetration).

Men and women have nearly identical anorectal anatomy except for one important difference: men have a prostate gland, which can be stimulated directly via anal penetration. The prostate gland surrounds part of a man’s urethra; it’s behind the pubic bone, below the bladder and above the base of the penis. A mass of muscle, glands, and connective tissue, the prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut; it produces ejaculatory fluid that combines with sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles to create male ejaculate. Men can experience direct prostate stimulation when they are anally penetrated. It can be found by sliding a finger (or toy) about one to two inches inside a man’s ass and aiming toward the front of his body.

While women don’t have a prostate, but we do have a G-spot and can experience indirect G-spot stimulation through anal penetration. The G-spot is the urethral sponge which sits around the urethra; to find it, slip a finger inside her vagina an inch to an inch and a half and toward the front of her body. The G-spot can be stimulated through the front wall of the vagina or indirectly though anal sex.

Oct 022012
 

I have been told a million times by my mother (who’s a nurse) that no amount of wiping will clean the penis enough to make it safe to go straight from the ass to the pussy. She says a shower is all that’ll do. I have never had anal sex for this reason, but for years, I have been dying to get fucked in the ass. But even more than that, I want to have a bacteria and infection-free pussy. A shower, no matter how warm, seems like it would be a mood destroyer. Is what my mother says true? Is a handy wipe enough? I really want my ass fucked!

–Horny Virgin Ass

Your mother has the right idea: you should never, ever put a dick — or anything else — that’s been in your ass directly into your pussy. Bacteria that lives in your rectum will be transferred to your pussy and very likely give you an infection. You can swipe the cock with a baby wipe, but, technically, no wipe is going to kill bacteria, so some could still be hanging around. (By the way, you should always use baby wipes, which are designed for the delicate genitals. You should never use anti-bacterial wipes that are meant to clean your hands or household surfaces.) A shower with some anti-bacterial soap is the best way to assure yourself that the dick is bacteria-free. And actually, I think a shower can be sensual and fun if you do it together. Your other option is to use condoms, and simply change the condom when you change the orifice.

What puzzles me about your letter is that you have been avoiding anal penetration because of the ass-to-pussy restriction. Who says that anal sex must always include that particular kind of action? It’s safe to go from pussy to ass, or to have anal intercourse all on its own.

Sep 252012
 

Are anal suppositories effective in getting unwanted waste out of the ass? Or is a Fleet enema a much better way of cleaning out the ass? I’m trying to decide what would be the better choice if I want to clean my butt before anal sex.

–Clean Freak

Anal suppositories are small plugs designed to be inserted anally that contain a liquid compound. You stick a suppository in your ass and the liquid, usually a medication, is absorbed through the tissue of the rectum. Anal suppositories may contain different kinds of medications to relieve a variety of conditions, including constipation and hemorrhoid pain and irritation. I assume you are asking about glycerin anal suppositories, which are used as a laxative. A store bought enema (like the Fleet brand) is a bottle of liquid that contains a laxative; the bottle is equipped with an anal douching tip. You don’t need either. Laxatives are made for people who are constipated, and since you did not say anything about being constipated, I’m going to assume you’re not.

The best way to clean your ass in preparation for anal play is not to use a laxative, but just to rinse your ass with plain warm water. So, I do recommend buying a bottled enema, but you should always dump out the contents, rinse the bottle well, and refill it with water. Fill your ass with water, go to the bathroom, and repeat until all that comes out of your ass is clear water. Remember to wait several hours between the conclusion of your enema and anal sex, in order to make sure you’re fully cleaned out and to give your body a chance to recover.

Aug 212012
 

I am an experienced anal player. I have had fun with my ass for over ten years now and still enjoy it like the first time I did it. My former Master and I used to do lots of play with anal dilators and my ass got quite stretchable. Recently I started to venture a bit into deeper anal probing and I really enjoy that as well. I seem to be able to find lots of information on anal stretching, but there is little about exploring the depths of the ass. So my question is what techniques and approaches are there for depth play? Where are the risks, where are the limits, where do I have to take special care? Are there any special health risks when one goes deeper, besides the obvious injury risk?

–Deep in the Deep South

The anal canal and rectum are 10-11″ long, and so you’ve got quite a bit of room to play with long toys. As long as you use plenty of lube, work your way up to bigger and longer toys, and listen to your body, going deep into the rectum is safe. Once you venture beyond the rectum, you get to the sigmoid colon, and the risks of penetration increase greatly. In the sigmoid colon, you have a greater chance of tearing or rupturing a part of the colon. The best information about what you call “depth play” beyond the rectum can be found in writing and videos on anal fisting, which are mostly produced by gay men. I suggest the book Trust: The Handbook, A Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of Handballing by Bert Herrman and the website Red Right.