Anal Advisor: Deep in the Deep South

Aug 212012
 

I am an experienced anal player. I have had fun with my ass for over ten years now and still enjoy it like the first time I did it. My former Master and I used to do lots of play with anal dilators and my ass got quite stretchable. Recently I started to venture a bit into deeper anal probing and I really enjoy that as well. I seem to be able to find lots of information on anal stretching, but there is little about exploring the depths of the ass. So my question is what techniques and approaches are there for depth play? Where are the risks, where are the limits, where do I have to take special care? Are there any special health risks when one goes deeper, besides the obvious injury risk?

–Deep in the Deep South

The anal canal and rectum are 10-11″ long, and so you’ve got quite a bit of room to play with long toys. As long as you use plenty of lube, work your way up to bigger and longer toys, and listen to your body, going deep into the rectum is safe. Once you venture beyond the rectum, you get to the sigmoid colon, and the risks of penetration increase greatly. In the sigmoid colon, you have a greater chance of tearing or rupturing a part of the colon. The best information about what you call “depth play” beyond the rectum can be found in writing and videos on anal fisting, which are mostly produced by gay men. I suggest the book Trust: The Handbook, A Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of Handballing by Bert Herrman and the website Red Right.

The Expert Guide to Pegging

Feb 202012
 


The Expert Guide to Pegging: Strap-on Anal Sex for Couples comes out on Valentine’s Day!! Isn’t that just perfect? My latest instructional movie from Vivid-Ed stars Dylan Ryan, Wolf Hudson, Jiz Lee, Mickey Mod, Jada Fire, and Christian. This is not your mama’s pegging video, that’s for sure! The cast is awesome, their interviews and chemistry fantastic, and the scenes are the hottest strap-on anal scenes I’ve ever shot! Plus, there are lots of extras on the DVD. And, as always, if you buy it directly from me, you support your local feminist pornographer!

2012 AVN-Nominated Films

Dec 072011
 


The 2012 AVN nominations were released this week, and I have a lot to celebrate with 7 nominations for my films! Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind scored five nominations for Best Vignette Release, Best Anal Sex Scene (Adrianna Nicole and Ramon Nomar), Best Group Sex Scene (Adrianna Nicole, Nat Turnher, Danny Wylde, Keni Styles & Evan Stone), Best Threeway Scene (Adrianna Nicole, Danny Wylde & Keni Styles) and Best Director-Non Feature. In addition, The Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex and The Expert Guide to Female Orgasms were both nominated for Best Educational Release.

These are especially exciting because they represent several different milestones for me. These are the most nominations I’ve ever received in a single year. These are the most nominations I’ve ever received for one film. This is my first ever nomination for Best Director. Here is the list:

Best Anal Sex Scene
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Adrianna Nicole & Ramon Nomar

Best Director – Non Feature
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Tristan Taormino

Best Group Sex Scene
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Adrianna Nicole, Nat Turnher, Danny Wylde, Keni Styles & Evan Stone

Best Three-Way Sex Scene (G/B/B)
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Adrianna Nicole, Keni Styles & Danny Wylde

Best Vignette Release
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group

Best Educational Release
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex, Vivid Ed

Best Educational Release
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, Vivid Ed

 

Anal Advisor: Want to Get Loose

Oct 302011
 

The first time I tried anal sex was almost six years ago but it was EXTREMELY PAINFUL. I want to try anal again with my current partner. It gets me hot thinking about it with him, but when it comes to doing the actual deed, my butthole it closes up and nothing will get through. Seriously, it locks up tight — not even a finger will fit. I’m at a loss because I don’t know what to do to loosen up.

–Want to Get Loose

You and your ass were traumatized during that first negative experience, and you need to realize that it takes time to heal from any trauma. It sounds like you have a partner you trust and you’re enthusiastic and open about giving anal sex another shot, but your body hasn’t quite caught up to your mind.

I recommend that you very slowly begin to introduce anal play into your solo masturbation routine. Start with external rubbing or a vibrator on the outside only. When you are ready, really take it slowly. Try one finger or the slimmest toy you can find. Give yourself the time and space to explore anal play on your own, so it will take the pressure off doing it with your partner. When you feel comfortable, you can try it with your partner, but you need to take it just as slowly as you did on your own. Make an agreement with your partner that you’ll be the one to call the shots (or call it off if need be). Focus on your desire and trust to help you move past the fear and anxiety and toward pleasure.

Anal Advisor: Ready To Make The Leap to Anal Fisting

Oct 102011
 

I have enjoyed anal sex with about 20 guys now. By using lots of lube and following my “3 finger” rule (no cocks enter before at least three fingers have opened the back door), I have not had any pain. If I did, the session would be over, pain is a signal after all. Now my current boyfriend has agreed to my suggestion that he fist me. I told him that I will be calling each step.

My plan is simple. You know those Russian dolls inside of dolls? I will do the reverse of that with dildos: start with a very small one, then work my way up, all the way to the tennis can size. I’d like my virgin fisting to happen at a party with a few other guys watching, that is part of my fantasy. They will probably be in the mood for sex, and I’ll be blissed out and certainly open enough for them. My question is: do some people with the stamina go for anal sex after fisting?

–Ready To Make The Leap

I love your idea of the “3 finger” rule, very smart! It sounds like you’ve got a good plan for your first fisting. I appreciate that you’ll be calling the shots and using toys that graduate in size to warm up. Make sure to use plenty of lube, and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen the first time around; you’ve got to respect your ass and go at its pace.

As for your post-fisting romp, I applaud you sharing your fantasy of a little gang bang after the fist — a combination of two very intense activities. I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m not sure your desire is realistic. Most people I know who are fisted do feel blissed out, but they also feel tired and sore, not exactly ideal conditions for having a bunch of cocks in your ass one after the other. Fisting is a process that requires patience and lots of warm up, and it will most likely leave your ass ready for a few days vacation, especially your first time. I suggest you try to rework your fantasy and see if you can come up with some alternatives. Maybe they can all watch then fuck your pussy or get blow jobs from you; use your imagination which shouldn’t need much coaxing. I’m not saying your fantasy is impossible, but until you get a lot more experienced with fisting, take it one step at a time.

Anal Advisor: When Should I Say “When”?

Sep 252011
 

I started doing anal play about 10 years ago. At first, it was somewhat uncomfortable, but I persisted, and my persistence paid off. I am now able to take a 10″ long dildo with a wide circumference. I thoroughly enjoy it, but I wonder: how deep can you go? Once, I tried a longer toy. After about five minutes of working it all the way in, I took it out, and there was some blood on the dildo. I went to the bathroom, but there was no more blood. It shook me up big time, so I didn’t insert anything for a week for fear of hurting myself. After my hiatus, I didn’t feel any pain and went back to playing, and it felt good. But that blood thing scares me — did I reach my limit?

–When Should I Say “When”?

If you’ve ever seen a porn video of someone taking a huge cock, a giant dildo, or even a fist (and beyond the fist!) up her or his ass, then you know that the butt is capable of a lot. The rectum has the ability to expand a great deal, but remember that it is still quite delicate. Even with plenty of lube and warm up, you can still have a minute cut in the lining of the anal canal or rectum. The longer and thicker the thing penetrating you is, the higher your chances of having one of these small tears. It’s only natural that when we see blood, it’s scary.

You did the right thing: you gave your ass a vacation from penetration. As long as there is only a small amount of blood, and it goes away within about a day, then your ass is on the road to healing itself. However, use common sense. If your ass is bleeding, you feel pain or serious discomfort, then you should see a doctor.

Want to Have My Cake and Eat It, Too

Nov 302005
 

I am very into anal play: rimming, butt plugs, and especially anal beads. However, I have some apprehension about penetration with a cock. A friend of mine who indulges in anal sex had told me that it made her ass, well, looser. In other words, it didn’t leak, but she found that the initial penetration of various objects became easier after she started doing anal. I am concerned that if I start indulging in penetration with a penis, that it will become noticeably easier to insert other non-human objects.

In particular, I’m concerned that my husband will start to notice because I currently have a lover on the side to satisfy my other needs (primarily BDSM). I am worried that if I start to let my lover fuck my ass that my husband (who is way too big for anal penetration) will notice and suspect something is up. What advice would you give me to let me have the cock and not get in trouble?

–Want to Have My Cake and Eat It, Too

Your friend who regularly has anal sex and now finds penetration easier is a little confused. Penetration done right will not make your ass looser or result in you losing control of your bowels—that’s a myth. However, it will make subsequent penetration easier, but not because you’re all stretched out. The more experience you have, the more you get used to relaxing your anal sphincter muscles and the easier it is to accommodate bigger toys or penises.

I think what you’re asking is: if I have anal penetration with a cock, will my husband be able to tell that I am having an affair and getting regularly buttfucked? The answer is: it depends. Will he be able to tell that you’re getting fucked in the ass just by looking? No. Will he figure it out if he plays with your ass? Well, he will probably notice that your ass can relax and open up easier and in less time than before; whether that causes suspicion or not really depends on him and your relationship. While I support people having multiple partners to meet their different sexual needs, everyone needs to be on the same page. Your husband has not consented to this other relationship, which isn’t fair to him. Ultimately, I can’t really condone cheating, nor can I offer any tricks to help you not get caught.

Sober and Sidelined

Oct 112005
 

Recently, my husband and I have stopped drinking. In the past, while intoxicated, my husband’s cock was much easier to take in my ass and even pleasurable. Now, I have a difficult time relaxing. Even when I do relax, there is a burning sensation that I cannot seem to get past, which makes me tense up even more. We are using plenty of lube in addition to my husband starting off with oral and a finger. Please help!

–Sober and Sidelined

I am not going to deny that people combine alcohol and/or drugs with anal sex in order to relax, lower their inhibitions, and let go a little. However, the same drinks and drugs that can help you let your hair down can also affect your judgment and your ability to honor your own boundaries. When people write to me and say, “I can only have anal sex if I’ve had five drinks,” I shake my head. I think it’s really important for people to be present and very connected to their bodies in order to fully enjoy anal play.

I suspect that part of what may be going on is that you were used to having anal sex while you were drunk and you’re stuck on that being the only way you can enjoy it. Maybe you’ve never experienced great anal sex sober, and your anxiety about what it might feel like if you’re not tipsy makes you tense. That tension leads to pain, and it becomes a vicious cycle. Cut yourself some slack and take a step back. Maybe you’ve got to start back at square one, and not progress to a cock until you can fully enjoy fingers or small toys. I think you should embrace your new sobriety and the opportunity to have new kinds of sexual experiences, and, most importantly, take your time.

Anal Vixen Wannabe

Sep 182005
 

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and have an extremely trusting relationship. We have tried anal sex a few times and always with the same result. It does feel good, kind of, but can be quite uncomfortable for me too. The best way to explain it is that it feels exactly like I’m having a bowel movement and bowel movements aren’t particularly pleasurable to me. I expected it to feel not only different but better. We have tried a couple of positions including doggy-style with my back straight and me on my back with legs on his shoulders and him leaning over me a bit. We always use a water-based lube. I really want to enjoy anal, so is there any advice you can give us to help make it more pleasurable?

–Anal Vixen Wannabe

Since it’s difficult to determine exactly what people mean sometimes, I want to acknowledge that you said your bowel movements aren’t “particularly pleasurable”; if you are having a lot of discomfort, you should see a doctor. If you meant that pooping doesn’t get you off, then here are my thoughts. Lots of anal novices say that the first few times they get fucked in the ass, it feels like they have to go to the bathroom. It makes sense, because all the nerve endings are being stimulated, and another activity where we experience that is a bowel movement. Usually, after the first few times, this sensation (or at least the urgent feeling to run to the toilet) subsides. You may prefer the stimulation of a butt plug, which goes in and stays in, to a lot of in-and-out fucking.

Though I think it could be your brain that’s tripping you up on this one, and you could be stuck on your association with butt sex and defecation. There are several elements of anal sex that are a lot different than going to the john, namely the addition of sexual sensations like vaginal and clitoral stimulation and a hot, horny guy you love and trust. Right now, it seems like you feel a sensation and automatically associate it with a non-sexual activity, and you cannot get past that. Some solo sessions where you experiment with different toys and different sensations may help you find the things that work best for you and get you reacquainted with your ass in a new way. If you can “retrain” your brain to eroticize your ass as the erogenous zone that it is, you may find yourself more open to feeling pleasure there.

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