My girlfriend saw some ass to mouth scene (ATM) in a porn movie and went crazy for it. Now she wants to do it. I am afraid that it might be unsafe for one or both of us. We’ve only been dating a short time and I have the feeling that the reason why she likes anal sex so much is that she actually likes shit. I also think she would like to felch herself since she often plays with the liquid spilling out of her anus and licks her fingers. I’m not sure I want to kiss her after she does it. Should I be concerned?
–Curious But Scared
First let me say that nearly every activity you describe in your letter, including anal penetration without a condom — which isn’t specifically stated but implied since you’re coming in her ass — puts both of you at risk for HIV, hepatitis, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and other sexually-transmitted diseases. You should both get tested or you should be using a condom and not swapping bodily fluids.
That said, let’s begin with your girlfriend’s ass to mouth fantasy. You’re smart to be concerned about the safety, since there are health concerns with going directly from someone’s ass to their mouth. There is bacteria and fecal matter in her ass that really shouldn’t go other places. The best way to do ATM safely is to pull your dick out of her ass, wipe it with a baby wipe, then stick it in her mouth.
It sounds like your girlfriend is into anal sex, and likes “nasty” stuff like anal creampies, playing with the cum in her ass, and even eating it. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that this means she likes shit. It sounds to me like she enjoys all things anal, and there’s a big different between that and being into scat (shit play). You said you don’t want to kiss her after she’s been shoving her ass-and-cum soaked fingers in her mouth. It sounds like maybe she’s also into a couple other butt fetishes: felching and snowballing. Felching is where a guy comes in someone’s ass, then sucks his come out of said ass. Snowballing is when the person who did the felching then “swaps” the cum with their partner through kissing and/or spitting. Safety-wise, both are risky for both partners: if she swallows your come, she can catch an STD from you, and if you get bacteria or fecal matter from her ass in your mouth, you can get an STD from her.
Beyond the safety issues, it seems that you may not enjoy the same things that she does, and that is an equally important issue. I encourage you to talk to her about your health concerns as well as your desires to see if there is some middle ground that the two of you can explore which you’ll both enjoy.