Mar 192014
 

I have a fantastic fantasy that I would like to put into practice: having a urine enema. How safe is it to have a urine enema? Is there a difference between using my own urine or my husband’s? Are there ways to make this activity safer? Related to this, is it okay for my husband to urinate in my rectum when we are having anal sex? That’s another fantasy that gets me hot just writing about it!

–Piss Piggy

As a general rule, I recommend plain warm water enemas only, and I caution people against adding any ingredients to the ol’ enema bag. Whatever you introduce into your rectum will be absorbed into the bloodstream quickly, which is why substances like wine, liquor, and coffee are never a good idea. However, over the years, I’ve gotten dozens of letters about piss enemas, so I’ve done some research.

Urine is a realtively clean bodily fluid, although it’s not completely sterile, as some people say. Ingesting your own urine is relatively safe, although it contains chemicals and substances your body wants to eliminate, and you’re putting those waste products back into your body. Some alternative health practitioners believe that urine enemas have healing properties and can help with acne, gastrointestinal problems, and eczema (not surprisingly, there is no research on the subject).

The biggest concern with ingesting someone else’s urine is that Hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus (CMV), the genital herpes virus, chlamydia, and gonorrhea may be present in the urine of a person infected with any of these diseases and can be transmitted through the mucous membrane of the rectum or through any microscopic tears in the anal canal or rectum. There is no research on HIV being transmitted through urine; however, it is possible for the virus to be present in urine, especially if there is blood in the urine. If you and your husband have tested negative for all STDs and are monogamous, then your piss or his should be fine.

I recommend you dilute the pee in plain warm water (or distilled water warmed up) in order to make it less concentrated. It still might make you a little nauseous. Make sure you drink lots of water to stay hydrated.

As for having him pee in your ass, the same rules apply, although there is no way to dilute the pee.

Mar 192014
 

Tristan at UTK Sex Week 2014

I just returned from Sex Week at the University of Tennessee, and all I can say is: wow. Before I arrived, I knew all about last year’s de-funding debacle and this year’s continued controversy, which included the state legislature passing an official resolution that condemned Sex Week’s student organizers for organizing the event as well as further threats to cut university funding if Sex Week went on. In one poll, 59% of people said Sex Week should be cancelled. I read the Concerned Women of America’s terrifying press release (favorite quote: “The F.B.I. field office has been notified of planned illegal distribution of pornographic material to minors on campus”) and knew that there wasn’t exactly going to be a marching band to celebrate my arrival. I’ve had students and community members protest my college appearances before, so I was ready for whatever push-back might come my way. I wasn’t prepared for what I discovered: a sexual culture so steeped in shame and stigma that students are afraid to be seen at Sex Week events.

 Read the entire story on GoodVibes blog.

 

Mar 182014
 

susie bright

On Friday at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT on Sex Out Loud radio, I will be live in the studio with my friend and colleague, Susie Bright! Author, editor, professor, screenwriter, and audio book maven, Susie Bright is the go-to expert on all things sexual politics. For the first time in Sex Out Loud history, the show will be airing live with me and a guest together in the same room and this intimate, raucous, informative conversation is not one you will want to miss. We’ll be taking questions from the audience, so call in to have a chance to talk with me and “Susie Sexpert” about any topic related to sex and relationships.

This week’s show is LIVE, which means we’ll be giving away a Sportsheets prize to a lucky fan. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air – you could be chosen to win!

Best-selling author Susie Bright, the country’s preeminent feminist sex writer, is one of the world’s most respected voices on sexual politics, as well as an award-winning author who has edited and published hundreds of the finest writers and journalists working in American literature and progressive activism today. Bright is the author of six national best-sellers, including The Sexual State of the Union & Full Exposure. She’s the Founding Editor of On Our Backs, The Best American Erotica, and Herotica and currently Editor at Large at Audible Studios, with over 300 audiobooks and 4 Audie nominees. She’s also host of the longest-running sex-education program in broadcasting history, In Bed with Susie Bright. Follow her on twitter: @susiebright

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Mar 122014
 

Allison Vivas making peace with porn

This Friday on Sex Out Loud, I interview Allison Vivas, President of Pink Visual, two-time winner of XBIZ Award for adult industry Woman of the Year and recent recipient of Free Speech Coalition’s Leadership Award. Under Allison’s guidance, Pink Visual has established a strong reputation within the adult
entertainment industry as an innovative, forward-thinking brand that focuses as much on developing excellent technology as it does on creating high quality adult entertainment. She recently published the book “Making Peace With Porn: Adult Entertainment and Your Guy“, which incorporates personal stories, clinical statistics, and the history of adult entertainment to explain why porn might not be such a bad thing after all.

After completing her degree at the University of Arizona in 2001, Allison Vivas joined a startup adult website affiliate program called TopBucks at the age of 21. Allison quickly rose to the position of Marketing Director, where she oversaw a wide range of the company’s activities in marketing, sales, event coordination, and project planning, across several product lines for both the adult entertainment and ‘mainstream’ markets. In 2004, the company launched
Pink Visual to bring together its Internet, broadcast and DVD distribution efforts under a single brand. Allison was named President of the company in 2006 and since then the company has played a major role with mobile distribution and anti-piracy efforts, most recently launching the Anti-Piracy Service: DMCA Force. She penned “Making Peace with Porn” in 2013 which combined research with her own personal growth around understanding porn as a woman.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Mar 052014
 

lux alptraum

This Friday on Sex Out Loud radio, spend an hour with Lux Alptraum, sex educator and writer whose work you know through Nerve, WoodRocket, Fleshbot, and more. She talks about how she got into writing about sex, starting her own culture sites, how the internet has changed sex and how sex has changed the internet. Alptraum will share stories from her years of writing on the adult entertainment industry and give us an idea of what to expect from the future of sex online.

Lux Alptraum is a writer, sex educator, and consultant most frequently found at Nerve and WoodRocket. Past projects have included gigs as the editor, publisher, and CEO of Fleshbot, the web’s foremost blog about sexuality and adult entertainment; a sex educator at an adolescent pregnancy prevention program; an HIV pretest counselor; and the founder of ThatStrangeGirl, an alternative porn site, and Boinkology, a blog about sex and culture. Her writing has appeared in Cosmopolitan, Hustler, FastCompany.com, Salon.com, TheAtlantic.com, Time Out New York, Jezebel.com, SundanceChannel.com,Bizarre Magazine, Jalopnik.com, BlackbookMag.com, GOOD Magazine, and more. She has spoken about sexuality, the internet, and adult entertainment at Harvard University, Brown University, Yale University, NYU, Columbia University, Ohio State University, SXSW, and New York City’s Museum of Sex, and was recognized as one of 2008′s Heeb 100.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Feb 262014
 

Shanna-and-Vivianne1

This week on Sex Out Loud, I talk with sex educator Shanna Katz about her passions around sex and sex education, specifically making sex education inclusive of all communities and how to get the information to people who often are left out of resources. She’ll also discuss her new women’s sexuality book, Your Pleasure Map, a choose-your-own-adventure style guide to hotter, naughtier, more adventurous sex.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a queer kinky disabled femme and board certified sexologist, sexuality educator and professional pervert. From topics like relationship communication skills to non-monogamy, and oral sex to how sexuality and dis/ability intersect, she talks, writes and teaches about the huge spectrum of sexuality, both from personal and professional perspectives. She’s using her Master’s of Sexuality Education to provide accessible, open-source sex education to people around the country, and is currently working hard to bring sex education and positivity to the Southwest as well as online.

A member of the One Colorado Queer White Allies for Racial Solidarity Caucus, the American College of Sexologists, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, as well as on the board of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (Pawtucket, RI) and Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights (Denver, C), Shanna is actively involved in work towards equality and social justice for people of all identities. Teaching classes at colleges and universities (such as Brown University, Colorado College, SUNY-Purchase, ASU, Hofstra, U of A, etc) is one of her favorite ways to expand horizons. She also loves traveling to speak at conferences, sex toy stores, dungeons, women’s groups, LGBTQ centers, art galleries and more, and co-presenting with her partner on looking at privilege in sexuality education and LGBTQ inclusive medical practices.

She has written for many sexuality websites, had a sexuality centric radio show with widespread listeners, has had her erotica published in multiple anthologies, directed queer porn and three books; her first book “Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind” is on cunnilingus for partners of all genders, her book Your Pleasure Map is a choose-your-own-adventure style of sexuality guide for women, and her book being released in February, 100 Lesbian Sex Positions. When not blogging, teaching, writing or tweeting about the oh-so-many interesting and awkward moments in her life, you can find Shanna drinking tea, eating cupcakes, and cuddling with her partner and their three rescued cats; Kinsey, Kali and Jasper. For more info, please visit her sexuality education site, www.ShannaKatz.com.

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Feb 192014
 

My girlfriend likes both vaginal and anal penetration a lot and so do I. I’m looking to expand our repertoire with some toys. I notice that you often include sex toys in your writing, books, and films, but don’t talk about the psychology of them. My girlfriend just isn’t turned on by sex toys because she feels like it is not me pleasuring her, but the toy. Her disinterest has come to the point where she doesn’t even want to try them. She came close to trying a small vibrator one time, but when I went to buy it, she changed her mind and didn’t want it. My fantasy is to not only use toys on her, but for her to use them on me as well. Is there anything that could help her see that it would be me pleasuring her, not just some inanimate object?

–Dying to Have A Toy Box

You’re absolutely right about me — I love sex toys! In fact, I love them so much, I wrote a book all about them (it’s called The Big Book of Sex Toys). There are lots of myths about sex toys, and it sounds like your girlfriend’s lack of interest in them may have to do with some of these misconceptions. People mistakenly believe that if you bring a sex toy into the bedroom, it means that something’s wrong; others think that sex should not need anything extra besides just two bodies, that it should all come “naturally.” These are the same folks that think lube isn’t necessary, you just need to be turned on! I’m not discounting all that we can do with our fingers, hands, tongues, mouths, cocks, clits, and pussies, not to mention lots of other body parts. However, toys can bring your sex life to a whole new level! Plus, sex toys can help you be in two places at the same time (wink, wink), give you a helping hand, and do things that human beings just can’t do!

I think it’s worth it for the two of you to talk about toys. While different toys do different things, remind her that this is not an either/or choice or a contest. If you’re using toys together, then it’s about the connection and fun between you — not about whether it’s the toy that’s responsible for her pleasure and/or orgasm or you. Sex toys are meant to enhance your sex life, not be a substitute for anyone. I suggest you take your girlfriend shopping at a sex-positive store where she can see a variety of toys out of the packaging, pick them up, and turn them on. Let her choose a toy — one that she likes, appeals to her, or is intriguing in some way. If she’s not sure, ask the person working at the store for some advice. Empower her to take the lead on buying it, and give her time to get used to using it together.

Feb 182014
 
Photo by Aaron Treadwell

Photo by Aaron Treadwell

This week on Sex Out Loud I’m so excited to spend an hour with writer, activist, and New York Times-bestselling author, Janet Mock. Since stepping out into the public eye in 2011, Mock has founded #GirlsLikeUs, a media visibility campaign for trans women, and spoken about issues of identity, safety, health, and community all over the country, including appearances on Melissa Harris-Perry, HBO’s The Out List, and MSNBC Live with Thomas Roberts. Her memoir Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More was released in early February and is currently on the New York Times bestseller list. We’ll be talking about her journey to becoming a public activist, the power of writing and storytelling, plus taking live questions from you!

This week’s show is LIVE, which means we’ll be giving away a Sportsheets prize to a lucky fan. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air – you could be chosen to win!

Janet Mock is a writer who founded the #Girlslikeus project, a media visibility campaign for trans women. Her memoir “Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More” was published in February 2014. Since sharing her story in 2011 through Marie Claire magazine, Janet has been featured in the HBO documentary The Out List and appears regularly on MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry show. She currently serves on the board of directors for the Arcus Foundation and has been recognized by the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, the Center for American Progress, the Women’s Media Center and GOOD magazine for her work. A native of Honolulu, Janet lives and writes in New York City with her boyfriend Aaron and their cockapoo Cleo. Follow her on Twitter at @janetmock.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Feb 122014
 

heather corinna

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The Valentine’s Day episode of Sex Out Loud focuses on sex education for young folks, featuring a live conversation with Heather Corinna – writer, activist, educator and founder of Scarleteen, the comprehensive sex ed resource for teens and people in their 20s. Heather and Tristan will discuss how sex ed effects everyone in society, what’s the legacy of generations who receive abstinence-only messages, and the definition of quality, progressive sex ed for young people. The show is live and they will be taking caller questions.

This week’s show is LIVE, which means we’ll be giving away a Sportsheets prize to a lucky fan. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air – you could be chosen to win!

Heather Corinna is an activist, writer, artist and educator and the founder and director of Scarleteen.com, the most widely used online sex education resource for young people which has been online since 1998. She is also the author of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Feb 052014
 

My girlfriend knows that anal sex has been a long time fantasy of mine, and recently she decided to try it. We were in the shower fooling around, then we had vaginal sex. She suggested I put it in her ass, and, of course, I gladly obliged. I gently placed my dick at the entrance of her sexy asshole, and she pulled her ass cheeks apart for me. I slowly tried to push my dick in her ass, but it was like pushing my dick against a wall. I was just not going anywhere. The funny thing is that I was fully lubed up and so was she. She was also very relaxed, so I don’t see why I couldn’t get my dick inside her. My dick is about eight inches long and three inches thick, could this be the reason?

–Stranded in the Shower

It sounds like your girlfriend has never had anal sex before, and a nice warm shower does not qualify as warming her up! I am not surprised it felt impossible to get inside; the sphincter muscles are a tight ring of muscles and they’ll keep you from going anywhere you’re not welcome. In this case, you weren’t welcome because you tried to go from 0 to 60 in five seconds. So let’s start over and introduce her to this wonderful activity properly, shall we?

Begin exploring your girlfriend’s ass with analingus, external stimulation, and one finger. As you lick her pussy or stimulate her clit, slip a well-lubed finger inside her ass gently and slowly. Build from this experience and make sure to let her set the pace. Don’t proceed to add another finger or try out a toy until she’s ready.

Once you’ve had many sessions of anal penetration with fingers and toys, only then are you ready to put your dick in her ass. It sounds like your dick is both longer and a lot thicker than average. Get a dildo that’s just slightly smaller than your erect cock, and begin playing with it. Once she can take that dildo comfortably and it feels really good, then you can give your dick another try. If you return to the shower for the big event, make sure to use a silicone-based lubricant, since water-based lubes will simply wash away.