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May 3: Felice Shays on the Joys of Rough Sex

May 012013

Join us this Friday on Sex Out Loud at 5pm PT / 8 pm ET for a discussion with sex educator and author Felice Shays on the topic of rough sex. We’ll discuss the misconceptions and assumptions around the topic, as well as how she came to be one of the foremost experts on the issue and how she instructs couples and individuals on bringing this type of play to their sex lives in safe and sexy ways. Shays is the author of Brutal Affection: The Joys of Rough Sex, which is rich in gorgeous photos, instruction, erotica, and smut, and she recently relaunched the companion site, BrutalAffection.com. This episode is the second in our CatalystCon series, recorded live in front of a studio audience at the conference.

Where respect, humor, straight talk, and sex collide is where you’ll find Felice Shays. Providing sexual and BDSM education and counseling for a dozen years in the US and Canada to thousands of people, Felice has been featured in print and on T.V. encouraging people to do breathtaking sexual feats. Recently returned to Brooklyn NY, Felice has presented at a plethora of conferences, sex toy stores, universities, and private functions including Good For Her, Black Rose, Pacific Friction, Dark Odyssey, Babeland, LSM, TES, Wicked Womyn, Shebop, KinkFest, Sugar, Tribal Fire, Come As You Are, The Exiles, Desire, Thunder In The Mountains, and Bringing Age Out Of The Closet. Felice is working on her new book on rough sex, Brutal Affection: The Joys of Rough Sex, an excerpt of which is in Tristan Taromino’s anthology The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge. Due to her work as a certified American Sign Language Interpreter for many years, Felice also teaches Deaf people in ASL about sex, sensual technique and creativity, self-discovery, rough sex, and various aspects of BDSM.

Anal Advisor: Curious About Cleaning

Apr 242013

I want to have an enema before anal sex to make sure that I am nice and clean. I have read your advice in past columns about using the Fleet enema. Why is it necessary to empty the chemicals out of a Fleet enema and replace it with water?

–Curious About Cleaning

All store bought enemas (including Fleet and other brands) contain a laxative. Laxatives (which can also be taken in pill form) soften the stool and stimulate bowel movements, and people use them to help alleviate constipation. Most folks who want to engage in anal play have an enema to ensure that their rectum is cleaned out; they are not using it to clear a blockage. Using a laxative when you aren’t constipated will induce a very runny bowel movement, disrupt your system, and may even irritate the rectum.

When I recommend using a Fleet enema, I’m telling you to buy it for the disposable bottle with insertable tip, not for what’s inside. You rinse out the bottle, fill it with plain warm water, and use it as a douche for your butt. The water stimulates a bowel movement (in a much gentler way than a laxative) and rinses the anal canal and lower rectum. You can also buy a rubber bulb syringe for the same purpose, which is more expensive (it’s not disposable). Bulb syringes are made of thicker, more durable rubber and can be rinsed out and used again.

Apr 26: Claire Cavanah and Rachel of Venning on 20 years of Babeland

Apr 232013

The founders of the famed Babeland, Claire Cavanah and Rachel Venning, come to Sex Out Loud this Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET to share stories from 20 years of owning and running their successful sex toy shop that has become a worldwide phenomenon. We’ll learn about how they got started, what ways they’ve expanded to bring their message of sexual vitality to the world, and they’ll even share stories from the time when Tristan herself worked at the store.

This week’s show is live, so find out all the ways to listen here and you can call in with questions at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or even e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air!

Claire Cavanah & Rachel Venning are co-founders of Babeland, the famous sex toy shop celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. Babeland is all about promoting sexual vitality, not only with customers in the store, but out in the community, whether that means visiting senior centers or student groups or anywhere else. They’ve got a message of self-love, body-positivity and pleasure that they want to share. They are also the co-authors of the books Sex Toys 101 and Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mindblowing Sex. They answer questions about sex, sex toys and the sex toy industry for media outlets as diverse as Brooklyn Paper and the Columbia University C-Spot to the New York Times and CNN. They also blog, tweet and answer sex questions at Babeland.com.

Anal Advisor: Want A Helpless Bondage Bottom

Apr 182013

I want to create a scene for my submissive that combines anal sex and immobilizing bondage. She loves to get fucked when she is confined and can’t really move, and I adore seeing her in a compromising, vulnerable position. What can I say? It makes my dick really hard. My slave girl is pretty flexible, an experienced bondage (and anal) bottom, and she’s always game for lots of new things. I am hoping you can offer some suggestions for good positions as well as any safety concerns I should be aware of.

–Want A Helpless Bondage Bottom

Oooh, you two sound fun! Let’s talk bondage first. I’m not a rope bondage expert, so I’m going to recommend an easy kind of bondage using large, long leather bondage belts that you can find at Stockroom. Have your bottom stand and face you with her arms at her sides. Wrap a belt around her upper arms and torso (above her breasts), securing the buckle on one side of her arm. Do the same thing with a second belt around her stomach and arms between her elbow and wrist. Use a third belt around her waist and just above her wrists. Belt #4 goes just above her knees with a fifth belt around her calves. Move her slowly and put your slave face down on the bed (or the floor, if you’re feeling more sadistic). Secure the final bind: a belt around her ankles (you could also use ankle cuffs clipped together for her ankles). Now you have her in tight confinement and also a great position for anal sex. In fact, this is my favorite position and I re-named it in my book The Anal Sex Position Guide. It’s called “tailgate”: she lies face down on her stomach, and you straddle her and enter her ass. You could stay upright, and pull on the belts, using them as handles. Or you can lay on top of her. The combination of your weight on her and the bondage belts will make her feel truly immobilized.

If you’re interested in doing this with rope bondage, two great resources to see many different ties described and illustrated are famed educator Midori’s book The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage and Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook. I like Jay Wiseman’s “Split Lark’s Head,” for an arm/chest harness and on the bottom for mid-thighs and down, try his knee-to-knee and ankle-to-ankle bondage.

Apr 19: Amy Jo Goddard on Changing The World Through Relationships; Robert Page on the Lover’s Guide

Apr 172013

robert page

This week on Sex Out Loud radio, we have two guests who help people fulfill their sexual potential. First we have author, educator, and coach Amy Jo Goddard who thrives on creating environments that foster growth and assisting people in having the delicious sex and relationships they desire. She believes that healthy, non-violent, fulfilling relationships are a key to changing the world. Then we have Robert Page, creator of the The Lover’s Guide, and the only non-fiction film to top the UK video charts that has since been translated into 13 languages and 22 territories. He’ll discuss how he came to produce the movies that The Independent calls “sexy, sensual, moral and responsible”.

Amy Jo Goddard is a sexual empowerment coach, author, and sexuality educator. She is founder of SPECTRA, a mentorship program to help sexuality professionals make more money doing the sexuality work they are passionate about. As a David Neagle Certified Miracle of Money coach, Amy Jo helps women and couples create financial abundance, sexual pleasure and create the relationships and lives they desire. She teaches her Women’s Sexually Empowered Life program in New York City and can be found blogging about all things sexual that make her tingle at www.amyjogoddard.com

The Producer of The Lovers’ Guide Series, Robert Page, is an award-winning producer, director and writer who has spent over 25 years working mostly in the field of adult education. He began creating the series on video in 1991 in the UK, where the original film sold over a million copies in its first year and was the first non-fiction film to top the Uk video charts. He has since supervised its growth into one of the world’s most authoritative sex series. And created the world’s first adult 3D theatrical feature: “The Lovers’ Guide 3D”. The material has been released as several books, magazines, and is the basis of the biggest dedicated website on the internet. Mr. Page is editor of “The Lovers’ Guide Laid Bare” and co-editor of “The Lovers’ Guide Illustrated Encyclopedia”. He is a respected member of AASECT; WAS and SSSS. He has written, lectured and broadcast extensively. He has two sons and lives in New York.

Apr 12: Magdalene St. Michaels on a Passion for All-Girl Erotica and T Cooper on Real Man Adventures

Apr 092013

magdalene t_cooper

This week on Sex Out Loud radio I’ll be live with two guests: Magdalene St. Michaels will talk about her success that came with starting a new career in adult film at the age of 49. She’ll talk about how she came into the business, her website MagdaleneVOD.com, and her work that has earned her three nominations for AVNs prestigious MILF/Cougar award – in 2008, 2009, and most recently 2013. Author T Cooper will discuss his latest book, Real Man Adventures, a brash, wildly inventive, and comic exploration of the paradoxes and pleasures of masculinity that will forever change what you think it means to be a man.

Magdalene St. Michaels was born on the isle of Malta in the Mediterranean Sea on June 3, 1957 and raised in England where she pursued singing, dancing and acting. In her early 20′s, she moved to the United States, joining her mother who had moved here earlier. She continued her acting with scenes in mainstream movies including “Executive Decision”, starring Steven Seagal, and “Turk 182″, starring Timothy Hutton.

Then in 2007, she just happened to be at the 2007 AEE convention in Las Vegas when fate somehow intervened and guided her to the Girlfriend Films booth, at the last minute of the final day as they were packing up to leave. The owner Dan O’Connell, was quite taken with her and begged her to at least think about performing for him. Magdalene filled out some paperwork, but still had doubts that success could come when starting a new career at the age of 49. Well, it did! And the rest is history (or herstory, lol!).

Her very first adult film – and one of my personal faves, was an all-girl feature film, “I Like To Kiss”, which was written just for her by Mr. O’Connell. For the next year or so she worked exclusively with Girlfriend Films, but soon her popularity had other directors like Nica Noelle (Sweetheart Video and Sweet Sinner studios) knocking on her door – and thank Goddess for all of us fans, she answered!

She prefers the lesbian genre, and has the reputation as being one of the most authentic performers ever to grace our screens in girl/girl erotica. Her other performance genres include boy/girl, mixed group and even BDSM, with well over 100 released scenes to her credit, which have earned her three nominations for AVNs prestigious MILF/Cougar award – in 2008, 2009, and most recently 2013.

T COOPER is the author of three novels, including The Beaufort Diaries and Lipshitz Six, or Two Angry Blondes. He is also editor of an anthology of original stories entitled A Fictional History of the United States With Huge Chunks Missing. His most recent book, Real Man Adventures, has just been published (by McSweeney’s Books).

T Cooper was born and raised in Los Angeles, attended Middlebury College in Vermont, and then taught high school in New Orleans before settling in New York City in 1996. He earned an MFA from Columbia University, and in addition to his novels, T’s work has appeared in a variety of publications and anthologies, including The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Believer, One Story, Electric Literature, and some others. His short story “Swimming” was one of “100 Distinguished Stories” in The Best American Short Stories 2008 (ed. Salman Rushdie).

T has been awarded residencies to The MacDowell Colony, Ledig House International, and The Millay Colony (where he was The New York Times Foundation Fellow). Not too long ago, he was a visiting faculty member at Middlebury College.

T also adapted and produced a short film based on his graphic novel The Beaufort Diaries. The animated short, directed by the book’s illustrator Alex Petrowsky and starring actor David Duchovny, was an official selection at several film festivals, including Tribeca Film Festival, South By Southwest, The New Orleans Film Fest, The Worldwide Short Film Festival, and the Anchorage International Film Festival.

T enjoys vintage airplanes, M*A*S*H, the great outdoors, world peace, and anything to do with pit bull advocacy. He lives with his family in New York and the South.

loud,

The 1st Annual Feminist Porn Conference Draws Hundreds to University of Toronto

Apr 092013

TORONTO (April 8, 2013)—The First Annual Feminist Porn Conference was held at the University of Toronto on April 6, 2013 and drew nearly 250 attendees. This one-day conference brought together academics, cultural critics, performers, directors, producers, sex workers, activists, students, and fans to explore the emergence of feminist porn as a genre, industry, field of study, and movement. The event, the first ever conference devoted exclusively to feminist pornography, featured 45 different presenters from around the world.

Professors Kevin Heffernan, Constance Penley, and Bobby Noble

Presenters included leading professors whose work spans multiple disciplines from history, sociology, film and media studies to comparative literature, sexuality studies, and feminist studies, including Kevin Heffernan from Southern Methodist University, Lynn Comella of University of Nevada-Las Vegas, Ariane Cruz of Pennsylvania State University, Jill Bakehorn of UC Davis and UC Berkeley, Nicholas Matte of University Toronto, Emily Nagoski from Smith College, and York University’s Bobby Noble as well as scholars from CUNY, UCLA, Northwestern, and Ohio University.

Madison Young presents “The Politics of Kinky Porn and Feminism”

Several panels featured some of the most well-known producers and performers working in feminist porn today, including Jiz Lee, Courtney Trouble, Madison Young, Sinnamon Love, Dylan Ryan, April Flores, Carlos Batts, Loree Erickson, James Darling, Carrie Gray, Tobi Hill-Meyer, Tina Horn, Arabelle Raphael, Quinn Cassidy, Jes Sachse, and Bianca Stone. The international conference drew presenters from around the world, including Liesbet Zikkenheimer and Marije Janssen from Dusk TV, an erotic TV channel for women in the Netherlands and Australian webmistress and director Ms. Naughty of ForTheGirls.com. Carol Queen, PhD, co-founder of the Center for Sex and Culture and Good Vibrations’ sexologist, spoke on two panels: “Conspicuous Consumption: If We Sell It, They Will Come,” about the connection between feminist porn and sex-positive retail stores and “Feminist Perspectives on Sexual Identity and Sexual Health in Educational and Feminist Porn.”

Tristan Taormino, Shar Rednour, and Nan Kinney

Award-winning filmmaker Shine Louise Houston of Pink and White Productions screened her documentary Shiny Jewels to a huge crowd. A screening of Lesbo Retro: A Dyke Porn Retrospective, a clip show of lesbian porn from 1960-2000, was followed by a question and answer session with its curator, Shar Rednour and special guest Nan Kinney, co-founder of On Our Backs and Fatale Media and recipient of the 2013 Trailblazer Award at The 8th Annual The Feminist Porn Awards on April 5.

Professor Mireille Miller-Young was one of the keynote speakers

The keynote was delivered by feminist pornographer Tristan Taormino and Professors Constance Penley and Mireille Miller-Young (both from University of California-Santa Barbara). As three of the four co-editors of The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure, recently published by The Feminist Press at CUNY, they discussed how feminist porn has shifted sexual representation and pondered what the future holds for feminist porn. “The goal of our book was to put academics and sex industry workers into conversation with one another to discuss critical issues about feminism, sexual media, representation, sexual agency, and labor. This conference took those conversations to the next level,” said Mireille Miller-Young. “We hope it mobilizes academics and sex industry workers to create coalitions to support each other’s work,” said Constance Penley.

“The event exceeded my expectations,” said Tristan Taormino, who produced the conference. “I was inspired by the diversity of voices from professors and students to performers and fans. The enthusiasm for dialogue about feminist porn issues was overwhelming, and I am already planning next year’s conference.”

The Feminist Porn Conference was sponsored by the Mark S. Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies, Good for Her, The Feminist Porn Awards, and The Feminist Press.

Photo credits: Tania A.

Tristan Taormino on Joy Behar: Say Anything!

Apr 042013

Feminist_Porn_cover

Author, educator, and feminist pornographer Tristan Taormino visited with Joy Behar to discuss THE FEMINIST PORN BOOK (Feminist Press), a new anthology co-edited by Taormino, Constance Penley, Celine Parreñas Shimizu, and Mireille Miller-Young.

During the two-segment interview, Tristan and Joy engaged in a lively discussion about the growing field of feminist pornography. They also talked about porn in academia, ethical porn making, sex education, the antiporn crusades, and current hot topics including Fifty Shades of Grey and Todd Akin. “I love how sharp and funny Joy is, but I also really appreciate how genuinely curious she was about feminist porn. She took the time to have a real conversation about it, which can be rare on TV these days,” said Taormino.

The program aired on Thursday, April 4, 2013 at 9pm ET on Current TV and you can watch a clip of it here. THE FEMINIST PORN BOOK: The Politics of Producing Pleasure is available now at feministpress.org, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and your favorite local bookstore.

About Joy Behar: Say Anything!

Emmy® award winning talk show host Joy Behar is back with Joy Behar: Say Anything!, airing Mon-Thurs evenings 9pm ET (8pm CT, 7pm MT, 6pm PT) on Current TV. One of TV’s most irreverent and outspoken personalities, Joy takes on social issues and relevant topics that impact the American zeitgeist.

Media Contact: Elizabeth Koke: ekoke@gc.cuny.edu

The Ultimate Guide to Kink nominated for NLA-I Award

Apr 032013

The Ultimate Guide to Kink

FINALISTS ANNOUNCED FOR 2012 NLA-I WRITING AWARDS

(Columbus, OH) — National Leather Association: International (NLA-I), a leading organization for
activists in the pansexual SM/leather/fetish community, announced today the finalists for its annual
writing awards. Named after activists and writers Geoff Mains, John Preston, Pauline Reage, Cynthia
Slater, and the groundbreaking organization Samois, they are awarded annually to recognize excellence
in writing and publishing about Leather, SM, bondage and fetishes.

The finalists for the Cynthia Slater Non-fiction Article Award are:

Civility Revisited by Kassie (Leatherati.com)

Rogue Leatherwomen by Leland Carina (Leatherati.com)

Stop, Drop and Role! Erotic Role Playing by Mollena Williams (The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role
Play and the Erotic Edge)

Digging in the Dirt – The Lure of Taboo Role Play by Mollena Williams (The Ultimate Guide to Kink:
BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge)

On Collars And Closure and Owning Myself by Mollena Williams (The Perverted Negress)

The finalists for the Geoff Mains Non-fiction Book Award are:

Twenty-Five Years of Living in Leather: The National Leather Association, 1986-2011 by Steve Stein
(Adynaton Publishing)

The Ritual of Dominance & Submission: A Guide to High Protocol Dominance & Submission by David
English

Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather
and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams (Greenery Press)

The Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino, ed. (Cleis Press)

Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities by David Ortmann, LCSW and
Richard Sprott, PhD

The finalists for the Pauline Reage Novel Award are:

The Masters of Falcon’s Fantasies by Cassidy Browning & Reggie Alexander (Siren Publishing)

Power Exchange by A. J. Rose (Voodoo Lily Press)

The Portrait by L. M. Somerton (Total-E-Bound)

Eve Portrait of Submission by Steve Maser (Pink Flamingo Publications)

Beyond the Edge by Elizabeth Lister (MLR Press)

A Forbidden Love by Lee Dorsey (Pink Flamingo Publications)

The finalists for the Samois Anthology Award are:

Bound by lust: Romantic stories of submission and sensuality, ed. Shanna Germaine (Cleis Press)

Cheeky spanking stories, ed. Rachel Kramer Bussel (Cleis Press)

Luscious: Stories of anal eroticism, ed. Alison Tyler (Cleis Press)

Whatever Lola Wants (and Other Wicked Tales), ed. Wes Royal (FDC Publication)

LIPSTICK LOVERS, ed. Elizabeth Coldwell (Xcite Books)

The finalists for the John Preston Short Story Award are:

THE GREENER GRASSES by M. Christian, from “STROKE THE FIRE: The Best ManLove Fiction of M.
Christian” (Renaissance E Books/Sizzler Editions)

Christmas Comes to Otters’ Gap by Jeff Mann, from “The Dirty Diner” (Bold Strokes Books)

Wild Like Honey by Angel Propps, from “Dangerous Curves” (Ravenous Romance)

Muriel by Annie Cox (Pink Flamingo Press)

“Aunt” Grace by I.G. Frederick & Patrick (Smashwords Edition)

The winners will be announced at the National Leather Association’s Annual General Meeting, which will
be held during Tribal Fire on May 3-5, 2013 in Oklahoma City, OK. For more information on the AGM or
Tribal Fire Please go to http://www.tribalfireokc.com/

For more information about the awards, please contact the award committee chair, pyxy, at
nlai.awards@gmail.com

Apr 5: Legendary Sex-Positive Icon Carol Queen

Apr 022013

Carol_Mustache

This week’s episode of Sex Out Loud is our first in the CatalystCon Series, interviews recorded live in front of a studio audience at Washington DC during the weekend of CatalystCon. We kick off the series with Dr. Carol Queen, a cultural sexologist and staff member of Good Vibrations, as well as founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture. We talk about her long and storied career in the Bay Area sex-positive scene, favorite exhibits at her Antique Vibrator Museum, and the re-release of Leather Daddy and the Femme. We’ll also discuss the Feminist Porn Conference and Fem Porn Awards happening in Toronto this weekend. Find all the ways to listen along this Friday at 5 pm PT / 8pm ET.

Carol Queen has a PhD in sexology and a prior degree in sociology. She calls herself a cultural sexologist; while she addresses individual and couple’s sexual concerns, her overarching interest is in cultural issues. Queen has worked at Good Vibrations, the woman-founded sexuality company based in San Francisco since 1990. Her current position is Staff Sexologist and Company Historian; her roles include representing the company to the press and the public; overseeing educational programming for staff and others; scripting/hosting a line of sex education videos, the Pleasure-Ed series, for sister company Good Releasing; and curating GV’s Antique Vibrator Museum. She is also the founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture, a non-profit sex ed/arts center San Francisco and is a frequent lecturer at colleges, conferences, and community-based organizations. Her dozen books include a Lambda Literary Award winner, PoMoSexuals, and Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture, which are used as texts in some college classes. She blogs at the Good Vibes Magazine and is a sometime contributor to the Boston Dig.

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