Dec 212013
 

Ask Tristan logo450

I got a letter from a guy who was just dying to make his girlfriend squirt. “I’m a bass player and have very strong hands and fingers. When I have fingered her before and really gone for it, she’s had a trickle come out. But I would love her to soak me in her juices!” he wrote. Some men are actually freaked out when a woman ejaculates; they may not understand it or they may think she’s peeing. I loved his enthusiasm, and I had plenty to say to him.

There are so many factors-and many unknowns-when it comes to female ejaculation. Every woman has a g-spot (also known as the urethral sponge), so, technically speaking, all women have the “equipment” to be able to do ejaculate. When stimulated, the tissue of the urethral sponge fills with blood, becomes engorged, and swells. The paraurethral glands surrounding the sponge fill with fluid and also swell. No one is sure why some women ejaculate often, some women do it occasionally, and some women never do. The majority of women achieve it through direct g-spot stimulation, but some can squirt via clitoral stimulation or anal penetration alone. When a woman is very aroused, (and especially when firm pressure is applied to her urethral sponge) the glands release the fluid through the urethra, and she ejaculates. The fluid is similar to fluid produced by a man’s prostate, and although it comes out the urethra, it is different from urine. The quantity of fluid and the way it comes out can also very widely. Some women produce a lot of fluid, others only a little; some gush like a fountain while others dribble. Many women fall in between the two ends of the spectrum, and, of course, some experience one or the other depending on the situation.

As we communicated, it was clear that the letter writer had a good grip on technique in terms of finding that spongy area about an inch and a half to two inches inside the pussy and using firm, deliberate motion with his fingers. I also encouraged him to get his girlfriend as turned on as possible before even starting to work her g-spot. The more aroused she is, the more her urethral sponge will swell and fill with fluid. Use a “come here” motion with fingers or a very firm toy (like one made of acrylic, glass, or metal) or act like you’re almost pulling down on the g-spot. If you’ve got something big inside her-four or more fingers, a large dildo, or your cock-you may have to pull out and switch to just two fingers. Something large can actually block the urethra and either prevent ejaculation or lessen its potential explosive delivery. The best way to get my ex-girlfriend to squirt was to fist her and work her g-spot with the knuckle of my thumb as I pumped my hand in and out of her pussy. But once she felt like she was going to squirt (and she knew, so she’d always tell me), I had to slide my hand out, and replace it with only a finger or two. Then, I’d basically press firmly on her g-spot and out the fluid would come!

My ex knew a lot about her own ejaculation process, what worked and what didn’t. But if the potential squirter is a novice, the first thing she needs to do is relax-as much as one can relax when they’re really turned on! Then she should bear down slightly as if she is trying to push something out of her pussy. This is one of the toughest things for women to do because many are afraid they’re going to pee. But bearing down will help push the fluid out the urethra. In fact, often, just before a woman is about to squirt, she has that urgent “I’ve gotta pee feeling” and she may also have this sense of overstimulation. Sometimes, both these feelings make her stop. Once it feels like too much, that’s often the edge of ejaculation, and if you keep going, then you’ll squirt.

Some experienced squirters say that once they squirt the first time, if they continue the stimulation, they can do it several times more. In fact, the first time I ever saw a woman ejaculate was at a sex party. I ran into my friend Kim in the bathroom. She was obviously fresh from some kind of escapade, and she said, “Dave made me gush like crazy!” I was curious, so she said, “Wanna see?” She grabbed me and dragged me out of the ladies’ room to a corner of one of the playrooms. She slipped two fingers inside her pussy and made herself ejaculate. “Once I start,” she said, “I can just keep going and going!”

So, I gave this guy some advice and information, but there was another point I really wanted to stress. This is important in the wake of the increased discussion about g-spot stimulation and female ejaculation in books, articles, and on the Web. Sometimes women feel like if they don’t enjoy this kind of stimulation or they can’t ejaculate, then they’ve failed in some way. I want to caution you about any kind of goal-oriented sex. I think it’s fun to explore new things, but it’s also important to value your sexuality as it is. Maybe this guy’s girlfriend will only ejaculate occasionally and maybe she’s a “leaker” or a “dribbler” rather than a geyser of gush. That may be just they way her body works. That’s okay. I don’t want any woman to feel pressure to perform in some way or to do something that doesn’t turn her on. Sometimes, we really buy into the whole bigger-is-better ideal and lose sight of the fact that our sexuality can be amazing just as it is.

Dec 182013
 

Matthew Stillman

alison tyler

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This week’s Sex Out Loud, premiering on December 20th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET, is an erotica show with a twist – first we have Matthew Stillman, author of Genesis Deflowered, a new book in the genre of Biblical Erotica in Elizabethan English. He’ll discuss what inspired the idea and will share a passage to make you rethink some of those Christian traditions. Then we welcome back erotica writer Alison Tyler who will share from the holiday-themed collections she has compiled and edited. She brings along writer Thomas Roche who will share some steamy Yuletide cheer as well.

This week’s show is LIVE, which means we’ll be giving away a Sportsheets prize to a lucky fan. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air – you could be chosen to win!

Matthew Stillman, born & bred New Yorker, ran program development at Food Network for many years. He conceived of & produced the film “The End of Poverty?” that premiered at the Cannes Film Festival & went to 40 film festivals. He spoke at the UN four times about the film. A lifetime with literature, inner spiritual work from different traditions, creativity & play, he has written “Genesis Deflowered” in a genre that he may have just made up – Biblical Erotica written in Elizabethan English.

Called a “Trollop with a Laptop” by East Bay Express, a “Literary Siren” by Good Vibrations, and “over caffeinated” by her favorite local barista, Alison Tyler has made being naughty a full-time job. Her sultry short stories have appeared in more than 100 anthologies including Sex for America, Liaisons, and Bedding Down. In all things important, she remains faithful to her partner of 17 years, but she still can’t choose just one perfume. Find her 24/7 at alisontyler.blogspot.com.

Thomas S. Roche has been writing professionally since the 1980s. He’s written more than 400 published short stories in many genres, including science fiction, fantasy, horror and crime-noir, but is best known for his work in short erotic fiction. His most recent book is The Panama Laugh, a paramilitary science fiction zombie apocalypse about viral media, for which he was a finalist for the Bram Stoker Award from the Horror Writers Association. Roche served as the Marketing Manager at Good Vibrations, and has worked for Alt.com, The Eros Guide and Eros Zine, TinyNibbles.com, Gothic.net, GettingIt.com. Now, he’s publisher and editor in chief of the e-book erotica publisher Deception Press. He recently celebrated the twentieth year of with the nonprofit San Francisco Sex Information, for which he is currently an instructor on the organization’s Training Staff that trains new volunteers and other community health professionals, advocates and activists.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Dec 172013
 

Quick Links:
Pre-Order DVD online
Order wholesale copies of the DVD
Watch the trailer at the official Doing It Again website

Press Contact for Doing It Again: Tobi Hill-Meyer, Tobi@handbasketproductions.com

Contact for TROUBLEfilms: Courtney Trouble, info@troublefilms.com

Website: http://troublefilms.com, http://doingitonline.com

 

Feminist Porn Award Winning filmmaker Tobi Hill-Meyer directed this highly anticipated follow-up to Doing It Ourselves: The Trans Women Porn Project

This Tuesday, December 17th 2013, Handbasket Productions in conjunction with indie distributor TROUBLEfilms will be releasing the first volume of the groundbreaking erotic documentary series Doing it Again.

Volume 1: Playful Awakening follows four pairings of trans women with trans partners, some who’ve just met and some who’ve been together for decades.

FPA heartthrob recipient Drew Deveaux returns to the screen in this highly anticipated, Kickstarter-funded indie film project, and up and coming star Hayley Fingersmith joins her for the highlighted first scene of the film, shot at the legendary Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco.

Mixing in depth interviews and explicit sex scenes, this is a holistic portrayal of trans women’s sexuality that has not been seen before. Special care has been taken to create accessibility tools that with subtitles in English, French, Spanish, and German and a Descriptive Audio track for people who are blind or have limited vision.

If you are in Seattle you can attend the premiere of Doing It Again at the Cockpit on Saturday Dec. 14th. Please reference the Facebook event for more information: https://facebook.com/events/703123163044867/

Be on the lookout for Volume 2: Fearless Revealing, focusing on trans women with cis (non-trans) partners expected in March and Volume 3: Passionate Sweetness focusing on trans women and genderqueers expected in June.

Doing It Again Vol. 1: Playful Awakenings is currently available for wholesale orders, please contact info@troublefilms.com and visit http://troublefilms.com/ordering-information

Online and DVD screeners available for press review, contact Courtney Trouble at info@troublefilms.com

DVD and digital download for purchase directly from film-maker at http://doingitonline.com

Dec 142013
 

I feel like my current relationship will cause my entire existence to revolve around my asshole! I’m no anal virgin, mind you. I’ve got plenty of experience with enemas, plugs, fucking and exploration. I rather enjoy it all! But how much is too much? I am in a Dominant/submissive relationship, and my Master has recently requested that I remain plugged 24/7/365, only removing it to relieve myself or during extreme illness or injury. When I wear a plug for a long time, I get sore and unpleasantly distracted very quickly. I know this isn’t always a bad thing, but it’s starting to interfere with my work and overall life. He also expects me to do complete enemas with a shower hose every day. Right now, I’ve only got the resources to do that once or twice a week, but it plays hell with my whole system for days afterwards!

Does it get better with time and a more stringent routine? So much of it already throws off my entire being! I’ve run the predictable course of diarrhea, constipation, nausea, loss of appetite, cramping, soreness, irritation and have lost a considerable amount of weight (20 pounds) in just over a month. I can’t say that all of it is related to the new ass attentions, but I’m certain that the majority is.

How do I continue to want to do what my Master expects of me and not flatly refuse what I think will ultimately cause damage? I just don’t want to be hurting and sick all the time. Everything seems to revolve around my ass. It’s frustrating and doesn’t make me feel anywhere nearly as good as I want it to. Instead of feeling clean and “free” afterwards, or pleasantly full and reminded, I feel more drained and exhausted. Sure, my ass might smell like daisies and be stretched to “convenient” proportions, but it’s no fun anymore and goes way beyond that.

I sometimes even feel like without my ass, what would He want with me? I don’t want to take the fun out of it for my Master, but I feel like if I can’t get over this one hurdle. So much of His passion is about anal, so our whole compatibility might be in jeopardy. He cares about me and I don’t think He wants to intentionally hurt me, but I’m barely keeping up! What can I do?

–In Anal Agony

You are missing two critical elements in your Dominant/submissive relationship: consent and mutual satisfaction. It sounds to me like you are blindly following orders that are physically harming you and that you don’t enjoy on any level. D/s relationships can help us test our own boundaries, but the relationship you describe is way out of bounds. No one should have an enema every day. No one can wear a butt plug 24/7. It sounds like your Master has been reading too much fantasy fiction and hasn’t had enough real-world experience, because what he is asking of you is impractical, unsafe, and bizarre. I support fantasizing about wild, out there things and I support Dominants who threaten submissives with various kinds of torture, but this crosses the line. You must speak up for yourself and he must be willing to negotiate more realistic expectations, otherwise this is a one-way relationship you shouldn’t be in.

Dec 112013
 

Her Porn 5

Petra Joy’s Her Porn 5 is out now! Included in this collection is the scene I filmed with Aiden and Christian for my Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples by Adam & Eve. You can view a trailer for Her Porn 5 here.

This exciting compilation features short films by 11 of the best female porn directors from all over the world. The sexually explicit scenarios are all based on authentic female fantasies: From kinky picnics to ecstatic threesomes; a woman dominating a hunky male to a female submitting herself to sensual bondage; from sexy role play to wild group sex – all of the films featured on Her Porn vol 5 are unique gems of high-end, alternative porn, from a female perspective. Many of the featured new young directors have never before been published on DVD.

With films by:

  • Maria Beatty
  • Liandra Dahl
  • Morgana
  • Ms Naughty
  • Saskia Quax
  • Rozemarije de Ronde
  • Candida Royalle
  • Zarah Stardust
  • Tristan Taormino
  • Gala Vanting & Aven Frey

Buy this film at OpenErotik.

Dec 112013
 

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Good Vibrations Opens Eighth Store in San Francisco’s Union Square

Downtown Shoppers Enjoy Upscale Version of Classic Sex Positive Retailer

Good Vibrations the trusted San Francisco Bay Area based company that takes pride in providing accurate sexual health information and quality sex toys, is set to open its eighth location just steps from San Francisco’s Union Square and the Financial District. Just steps from the Montgomery BART stop, the upscale lifestyle boutique will feature premier pleasure products and an enticing array of lingerie and accoutrements to explore, educate, and empower one’s sex life and sexual health.

Founded in 1977 by a couples’ therapist who wanted to help pre-orgasmic women, Good Vibrations has long insisted that pleasure is everyone’s birthright and that adults should have access to quality products and sex education. The elegant new Union Square location is a far cry from the small, utilitarian vibrator store of the seventies, but the philosophy and commitment to “pleasure to the people” is the same. The elegant presentation of quality products curated by knowledgeable staff makes it a welcome addition to this and other upscale neighborhoods, and marks a major shift in cultural trends.

Situated on Kearny Street near Sutter Street, Good Vibrations will showcase their design-centric, forward-thinking vendors in a stylized boutique setting where comfort and ambience are key. Good Vibrations has always been a destination retailer for adults desiring a safe, well-lit, comfortable and well-stocked place to shop for quality pleasure products.

Executive Vice President Jackie Strano says, “It feels fantastic to bring our unique brand of quality products and sex education to the Financial District and Union Square neighborhoods of San Francisco. World renowned as an epicenter of culture, theater, restaurant, hotel, and shopping destinations we proudly take our place alongside some of San Francisco’s old world charm mixed with modern sophistication. Locals and tourists alike will be able to engage with our brand of sex positivity at this prime location.”

Stay tuned for more details about the upcoming grand opening reception set for early February. Featuring free sexy prizes, promotions, and tasty bites and sips

ABOUT GOOD VIBRATIONS
Good Vibrations is the San Francisco Bay Area based retailer trusted for more than three decades to provide a comfortable, safe environment for finding quality products, trusted information and educational materials to enhance one’s sex life. Visit online at, goodvibes.com. Please follow us on Twitter @GoodVibesToys

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Good Vibrations — the women-friendly sex toy store promoting quality sex toys, vibrators, sex education, and pleasure since 1977.

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Dec 112013
 

midori

This Friday the 13th is very lucky for us: Midori comes to Sex Out Loud to discuss rope bondage, sci-fi kink, dominance training, creative sex education, and fulfilling personal growth. She’ll discuss what makes protocols sexy and how you can increase your own confidence and transform your sex life. Tune in to find out why Midori was named the 2013 winner of Best Sex Educator, Best of San Francisco, by SF Weekly Magazine…and how you can plan your own visit to Planet Midori.

Sexuality educator, author and artist based in San Francisco, Midori has made an improbable career out of being the traveling coach on the art of creative and sensual living. Dubbed “the super nova of kink” by Dan Savage, Midori is known for her hilarious and practical classes on enhancing sexual fulfillment, boosting confidence and expanding personal growth. Native of Tokyo, Japan, she brings a unique perspective pleasure and authentic living. She wrote the first English language book on Shibari with “Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage“, the hot essays in “Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink“, and twisted dark science fiction in “Master Han’s Daughter“. In 2001 she founded Rope Bondage Dojo®. She has trained many cadres and leads many Dojos each year. She also created ForteFemme, a unique women’s dominance weekend training and empowerment intensive.

Recently she’s joined forces with Laura Antoniou in Passionate Bonds, a weekend intensive on creating effective and meaningful D/s M/s protocol and etiquette. 2013 Winner, Best Sex Educator in Best of San Francisco by SF Weekly Magazine. Awarded Pantheon Leather Woman of the Year 2003. Sainted by Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 2007. She creates provocative and haunting art installations and performances, seen in venues as far flung as Yerba Buena Center for the Arts (San Francisco) and Tanzquartier Wien (Vienna) She’s been long active in HIV fundraising through AIDS LifeCycle

Website: www.FHP-inc.com
Also find her at: Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Vine: @PlanetMidori
AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising: http://www.tofighthiv.org/

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Dec 052013
 

TFPBcover

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The Feminist Porn Book continues to generate lots of press, and here is a roundup of some of the most recent media mentions:

  • “All the writers offer theorized, analytic reflection and many of the scholars reflect on their own relationships to porn. The result is a richly detailed look at feminist porn grounded in diverse personal involvements and critical perspectives.” from Feminist Porn: A review of The Feminist Porn Book by Erica Rand in Jump Cut
  • Originally published in May, Anna Breslaw’s interview with Tristan Taormino, “So What Is Feminist Porn? Find Out from A Woman Who Makes It” on Cosmopolitan.com, received renewed attention in November and lots more traffic and discussion. In fact, it prompted Morality in Media to issue an angry press release and letter-writing campaign where it accused Cosmo of “promoting porn to girls” and feminist pornographers of exploiting female performers. Cosmo replied with this post: Christian Group is Mad About Our Feminist Porn Article.

    SinnamonMeghan

    Sinnamon Love and Meghan McCain

  • The Feminist Porn Book was also reviewed in issue 14 of the journal make/shift: feminisms in motion - check out your local newsstand to pick up a copy!

Pick up a copy from Amazon or from the Pucker Up store to directly support me!

Dec 052013
 

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Both AVN and XBIZ have announced their 2014 Award nominees. Tristan Taormino’s Smart Ass Productions has garnered seven adult film award nominations. The Expert Guide to Female Ejaculation, her final film as a contract director for Vivid, has been nominated for two AVN Awards: Best Squirting Release and Best Educational Release. It stars Jada Fire, Christian, Kaci Starr, Anthony Rosano, Dylan Ryan, Derrick Pierce, Kylie Worthy, and Mr. Marcus. The two films she directed for Adam & Eve — Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples and Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples –  are nominated for the XBIZ Award for Best Educational Release. Plus, both those films were also nominated in a new category this year: the XBIZ Award for Feminist Porn Release of the Year. Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples features Asa Akira, Derrick Pierce, Adrianna Nicole, Evan Stone, Aiden Starr, Christian, Lyla Storm, and Danny Wylde. Adrianna Luna, James Deen, Skin Diamond, Derrick Pierce, Samantha Ryan, Michael Vegas, India Summer, and Danny Wylde star in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples. Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples was also nominated for the AVN Award for Best Educational Release.

 

Dec 032013
 

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Good Vibrations QUICKIES Erotic Shorts Competition Comes to the Castro

Erotic Film Fest Keeps it Short and Sweet with Sexy Cinema from Around the World

SAN FRANCISCO: Good Vibrations invites you to enjoy some lively loving at the 8th annual QUICKIES Indie Erotic Shorts Competition on Friday, December 6th at the Castro Theatre where filmmakers from around the world show their stuff in 7 minutes or less. Funny, serious, explicit, romantic, straight, queer, kinky, and more, the Quickies celebrates the range of sexuality with a fun and sexy party and screening.

Don your gay apparel and come early for the NSFW debauched holiday pre-party in the Castro Theatre mezzanine where film goers warm up for a night of sexy cinema with festive cocktails, live music by the Undulations, inappropriate burlesque by Red Hots Burlesque, and sexy give-aways from the Good Vibrations Wheel of Pleasure. Then it’s onto the erotic short film competition where the audience decides who gave it best, and the film with the most applause wins $1,500.

This high-quality collection with a comedic bent includes a wide variety of tastes and budgets, reflecting a more diverse and entertaining sexual range than in mainstream media. Awarded SF Weekly’s “Best Place to See Your (Talented and Attractive) Neighbors Naked,” this year’s finalists include neighbors from Denmark, Spain, Australia, Germany, France and the United States with films like “I Fucking Love IKEA,” “Biodildo,” and “After Midnight Bedtime Stories,” exploring everything from sexy furniture assembly to sci-fi three-ways and erotic historical fiction.

A panel of saucy queens MCs this collection of sexy films, including Good Vibrations’ own Staff Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen, and San Francisco drag legends D’arcy Drollinger, Trixxie Carr, and Hugz Bunny, lending insight and laughs to the unusual experience of watching erotic cinema with strangers.

Good Vibrations QUICKIES Short Erotic Film Competition
When: Friday, December 6th
Time: Pre-party 7:00pm – 8:00pm, Screening 8:00pm – 9:30pm
Where:Castro Theatre, 429 Castro St, San Francisco, CA 94114
Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/508203
More details: www.goodvibesquickies.com

Sponsors & Partners:
Good Vibrations would like to thank and acknowledge the following sponsors and partners for their friendship and support: LELO, Stockroom, Pink & White Productions, Leather Etc., San Francisco Bay Guardian, East Bay Express, Bay Area Reporter, Speakeasy Beer, Hot Cookie, The Sausage Factory, Evolution Fresh Juice, the Phoenix Hotel, and the Center for Sex and Culture.

ABOUT GOOD VIBRATIONS
Good Vibrations is the San Francisco Bay Area based retailer trusted for more than three decades to provide a comfortable, safe environment for finding quality products, trusted information and educational materials to enhance one’s sex life. Visit online at, goodvibes.com. Please follow us on Twitter @GoodVibesToys

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Good Vibrations — the women-friendly sex toy store promoting quality sex toys, vibrators, sex education, and pleasure since 1977.