Oct 202015

Children holding hands

The LA Academy of Sex Education presents Opening Up: An Open Relationship Intensive Workshop with Tristan Taormino on Sunday, November 15 from 1:00-4:00 pm at The Stockroom in Los Angeles. How do people create nontraditional partnerships that are loving and fulfilling? There are few established scripts or visible role models for open relationships, so people in them can often struggle without support and guidance. In this four hour intensive program, sex and relationship educator Tristan Taormino shares some of the key principles that can help your open relationships succeed. She will review some of the most common styles of open relationships, from partnered nonmonogamy to solo polyamory, and discuss how to customize them to meet your individual needs and wants. She will share wisdom from the over 100 people she interviewed and profiled in her bestselling book Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. The workshop will address common issues and problems including: new relationship energy, time management, sexual and emotional safety, boundary setting, agreement violations, and coping with change. Through creative exercises, you’ll discover how to unpack all the different elements of jealousy and identify what triggers your jealousy and how it manifests for you; learn to develop coping strategies and find access points to the practice of compersion. Learn how to tackle challenges including: communicating about highly-charged topics, conflict resolution skills, the art of re-negotiation, roadblocks to fulfillment, and confronting fear. Whether you’re a newcomer or veteran to the world beyond monogamy, come discover strategies to help you nurture and grow your open relationships. Open to people in all kinds of relationship configurations as well as solos and singles of all genders and sexual orientations. Seating is limited and pre-registration is strongly encouraged.

Location: The Stockroom, 2809 1/2 Sunset Boulevard 
Los Angeles, CA 90026.
Register at Eventbrite. Open to people in all kinds of relationship configurations as well as solos and singles of all genders and sexual orientations. Seating is limited and pre-registration is strongly encouraged.

We have several different ticket types available:

Regular $100
VIP $125: priority seating, personalized signed copy of Opening Up, gift bag
VIP + Dinner $200: priority seating, personalized signed copy of Opening Up, autographed DVD, luxury gift bag, dinner with Tristan after the workshop


Oct 042015

Tristan is headed to the Southeast in October, so catch her at one of these places:

October 13  
Florida Atlantic University
, Boca Raton, FL

October 15-17
Sex Down South, Atlanta, GA

October 18
Sex Educator Boot Camp 1.5, Washington DC

October 19  
Anal Sex for Everyone at Sugar, Baltimore, MD

Nov 202014


This Friday on November 21st at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT, I will be live on Sex Out Loud radio with Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, the co-authors of the new book, More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, a hands-on toolkit for having happy, successful polyamorous relationships. They discuss their new book as well as their latest project, Thorntree Press a new, independent publishing company with a focus on rational, evidence-based approaches to sex and relationships, as well as sharing real-life stories. They’ll also answer listener questions about navigating non-traditional relationships.

This week’s show is LIVE so call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com!

Franklin Veaux is the co-author of the groundbreaking new book More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, and the author of the top-ranked polyamory site on the Web, morethantwo.com. He is also the creator of Onyx: The Game of Sexual Exploration, maintains the sites xeromag.com and symtoys.com, which include extensive writings about BDSM, publishes erotic fiction under the pen name William Vitelli, and is the co-founder of the publishing company Thorntree Press and the sex toy R&D company Tacit Pleasures. Franklin started practicing non-monogamy from the moment he started becoming aware that boys and girls are different. He started writing about it in 1998. Over the decades, he’s made just about every mistake it’s possible to make in polyamorous relationships. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment. Today, he has five partners, lives in Portland, Oregon, and spends a great deal of time writing about everything from relationship ethics to transhumanism to computer security.

Eve Rickert is a professional writer, editor and mastermind, and the co-author of the the new book More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory. Until taking time off from life to write the book and go on a book tour, she co-organized a group for poly women in Vancouver, Canada, and she blogs at the More Than Two website. She owns a science communications firm in Vancouver, Canada, called Talk Science to Me, and she is the co-founder of the publishing company Thorntree Press and the smart sex toy R&D company Tacit Pleasures. Eve has been living poly since 2008, though her poly roots go back much deeper. Her approach to poly has changed radically over the years: from early experiences in high school, to first hearing the word “polyamory” in 1998, to first swingers’ party in 2006, to her current three long-term relationships. And being poly has radically changed her. She’s made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot of hard lessons. She co-wrote More Than Two to share those experiences with anyone who is struggling to maintain ethical multiple relationships with integrity, compassion and courage.


Jul 302014

partners in passion

MarkandPatricia high resThis Friday at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT on Sex Out Loud radio, Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson return to the show to discuss their new book, Partners In Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love. We’ll talk about non-monogamy, communication, passionate long-term relationships, and the controversy around their recent article on Alternet, “Life-Long Sexual Monogamy Just Isn’t Natural“. They’ll also join in answering listener questions.

Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson are a devoted married couple. They have been creative collaborators – teaching and writing about sexuality and Tantra together – since 1999. Michaels and Johnson are the authors of Partners in Passion (Cleis 2014), Great Sex Made Simple, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment, and The Essence of Tantric Sexuality. Their books have garnered numerous awards: Independent Publishing (IPPY), ForeWord Reviews, and USA Book News Best Books, among others. They are also the creators of the meditation CD set Ananda Nidra: Blissful Sleep. To support the pleasure-positive community in New York, they co-founded Pleasure Salon in 2007. www.MichaelsandJohnson.com

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!


Feb 192014

CHEM3 042

My girlfriend likes both vaginal and anal penetration a lot and so do I. I’m looking to expand our repertoire with some toys. I notice that you often include sex toys in your writing, books, and films, but don’t talk about the psychology of them. My girlfriend just isn’t turned on by sex toys because she feels like it is not me pleasuring her, but the toy. Her disinterest has come to the point where she doesn’t even want to try them. She came close to trying a small vibrator one time, but when I went to buy it, she changed her mind and didn’t want it. My fantasy is to not only use toys on her, but for her to use them on me as well. Is there anything that could help her see that it would be me pleasuring her, not just some inanimate object?

–Dying to Have A Toy Box

You’re absolutely right about me — I love sex toys! In fact, I love them so much, I wrote a book all about them (it’s called The Big Book of Sex Toys). There are lots of myths about sex toys, and it sounds like your girlfriend’s lack of interest in them may have to do with some of these misconceptions. People mistakenly believe that if you bring a sex toy into the bedroom, it means that something’s wrong; others think that sex should not need anything extra besides just two bodies, that it should all come “naturally.” These are the same folks that think lube isn’t necessary, you just need to be turned on! I’m not discounting all that we can do with our fingers, hands, tongues, mouths, cocks, clits, and pussies, not to mention lots of other body parts. However, toys can bring your sex life to a whole new level! Plus, sex toys can help you be in two places at the same time (wink, wink), give you a helping hand, and do things that human beings just can’t do!

I think it’s worth it for the two of you to talk about toys. While different toys do different things, remind her that this is not an either/or choice or a contest. If you’re using toys together, then it’s about the connection and fun between you — not about whether it’s the toy that’s responsible for her pleasure and/or orgasm or you. Sex toys are meant to enhance your sex life, not be a substitute for anyone. I suggest you take your girlfriend shopping at a sex-positive store where she can see a variety of toys out of the packaging, pick them up, and turn them on. Let her choose a toy — one that she likes, appeals to her, or is intriguing in some way. If she’s not sure, ask the person working at the store for some advice. Empower her to take the lead on buying it, and give her time to get used to using it together.

Dec 142013

I feel like my current relationship will cause my entire existence to revolve around my asshole! I’m no anal virgin, mind you. I’ve got plenty of experience with enemas, plugs, fucking and exploration. I rather enjoy it all! But how much is too much? I am in a Dominant/submissive relationship, and my Master has recently requested that I remain plugged 24/7/365, only removing it to relieve myself or during extreme illness or injury. When I wear a plug for a long time, I get sore and unpleasantly distracted very quickly. I know this isn’t always a bad thing, but it’s starting to interfere with my work and overall life. He also expects me to do complete enemas with a shower hose every day. Right now, I’ve only got the resources to do that once or twice a week, but it plays hell with my whole system for days afterwards!

Does it get better with time and a more stringent routine? So much of it already throws off my entire being! I’ve run the predictable course of diarrhea, constipation, nausea, loss of appetite, cramping, soreness, irritation and have lost a considerable amount of weight (20 pounds) in just over a month. I can’t say that all of it is related to the new ass attentions, but I’m certain that the majority is.

How do I continue to want to do what my Master expects of me and not flatly refuse what I think will ultimately cause damage? I just don’t want to be hurting and sick all the time. Everything seems to revolve around my ass. It’s frustrating and doesn’t make me feel anywhere nearly as good as I want it to. Instead of feeling clean and “free” afterwards, or pleasantly full and reminded, I feel more drained and exhausted. Sure, my ass might smell like daisies and be stretched to “convenient” proportions, but it’s no fun anymore and goes way beyond that.

I sometimes even feel like without my ass, what would He want with me? I don’t want to take the fun out of it for my Master, but I feel like if I can’t get over this one hurdle. So much of His passion is about anal, so our whole compatibility might be in jeopardy. He cares about me and I don’t think He wants to intentionally hurt me, but I’m barely keeping up! What can I do?

–In Anal Agony

You are missing two critical elements in your Dominant/submissive relationship: consent and mutual satisfaction. It sounds to me like you are blindly following orders that are physically harming you and that you don’t enjoy on any level. D/s relationships can help us test our own boundaries, but the relationship you describe is way out of bounds. No one should have an enema every day. No one can wear a butt plug 24/7. It sounds like your Master has been reading too much fantasy fiction and hasn’t had enough real-world experience, because what he is asking of you is impractical, unsafe, and bizarre. I support fantasizing about wild, out there things and I support Dominants who threaten submissives with various kinds of torture, but this crosses the line. You must speak up for yourself and he must be willing to negotiate more realistic expectations, otherwise this is a one-way relationship you shouldn’t be in.

Oct 222013

marcia b

Recorded live at Catalyst Con West 2013, this week’s episode of Sex Out Loud on Friday, October 25th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET features relationship coach, writer, and sex educator Marcia Baczynski. Tristan talks with Marcia about her journey to becoming a relationship coach and sex educator, including specializing in helping people articulate their desires in relationships and ask for what they want. She’ll also share info from her latest book, “Four Mistakes Couples Make When Opening Up Their Relationship (and How To Avoid Them)” and discuss her latest project, The Good Girl Recovery Program.

Marcia Baczynski is a relationship coach, writer and sex educator who has spent the last 10+ years specializing in helping people figure out — and ask for — what they want in life, love and in the bedroom. She has taught workshops across the US, been on TV, radio, magazines and newspapers in 27 countries, (including Montel Williams, People magazine, NPR, and the Washington Post). She regularly receives letters and email from people around the world, all wanting a deeper understanding of how to ask for and get what they want in life, love and the bedroom. As the co-founder of Cuddle Party, (www.cuddleparty.com) she has helped thousands of people find solid footing around issues of intimacy, touch, boundaries and communication. Since its founding in 2004, Cuddle Party has grown to include over 80 facilitators in 8 different countries. In 2009, Marcia started Asking For What You Want, a series of coaching programs and workshops to help people identify (and ask for!) what they wanted in their sex lives and relationships. Her ebook “4 Mistakes Couples Make When Opening Up Their Relationships (And How To Avoid Them)” is available at www.successfulnonmonogamy.com Marcia’s most recent project is The Good Girl Recovery Program, which can be found at goodgirlrecovery.com


Aug 212013

We featured a bunch of fantastic bondage toys in my latest instructional movie Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples, and I’ve compiled a guide to all the toys by scene, complete with links to the exact products as well as similar items and some of my favorites.

Scene 1: Samantha Ryan and Michael Vegas


Sex & Mischief Grey Tie
Also fun: Experimental Kink Kit


Bondage Tape


The Original Magic Wand Vibrator

Scene 2: Adrianna Luna and James Deen


Bondage cuffs from the Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit

More options: Cuff Love, Tethers & Leopard Restraints
Bound to Please Leather Collar
Sex and Mischief Red Restraint Kit


Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System


Sex & Mischief Sex Sling


Natural Contours Superbe Vibrator

Two of my favorite vibes: Laya Vibrator and We-Vibe Touch

Scene 3: Skin Diamond and Derrick Pierce


Blindfold and bondage cuffs from the Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit
More options: Our First Bondage Kit, Cuff Love, Tethers & Leopard Restraints


Sweet Lips Candy Ball Gag
Actual one we used: Pipedream Candy Ball Gag


Deluxe Fantasy Door Swing
And don’t forget Skin’s favorite vibe: The Original Magic Wand Vibrator

Scene 4: India Summer and Danny Wylde


Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs


Submit to Me Beginners Bondage Kit
purple silk scarves we used: Black Rose Silky Surrender


Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing
and don’t forget: The Original Magic Wand Vibrator


Aug 052013


The last time I shot India Summer was for The Expert Guide to Threesomes, although she also appears in the photos in my book The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation, shot by the wonderful photographer Holly Randall. I was looking forward to working with India again in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples, since she has one of the best attitudes in porn; she truly loves sex and her job. She was paired with Danny Wylde, who was so stellar in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples with Lyla Storm.


The scene begins in a doorway, where Danny has tied up India with door jam cuffs and has his head buried between her legs. After a hot orgasm, India turns the tables, and puts Danny in the very same bondage he put her in. She returns the favor with a sloppy blow job. That’s right folks, it’s a switch scene! Switch scenes, where the dominant/submissive roles are fluid and shift, are still too rare in porn movies, and I want to see more of them, so I am glad I included one in this movie. On the couch in the living room, they used purple silky scarves and took turns tying each other up.


At one point, we took a break to replace a camera battery and India was on top grinding into Danny. Just before the cameras started rolling again, Danny turned to her and said, “Can you do more of that?” These are the moments I just love (and wish I could capture on camera, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, it’s the nature of porno). It was genuine and sexy as hell to see Danny turned on and asking for more.


Their scene culminates in the Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing which was suspended from a steel bondage frame (many thanks to Stockroom for a major hook up to get this in time at a reasonable price). This is a pretty elaborate swing that hangs from a single suspension point with a bungee cord that gives it lots of bounce. It took a little time for India and Danny to get the hang of it but they had a lot of fun having her suspended in mid air.


Aug 042013


It’s no secret that Derrick Pierce is one of my favorite performers, and he did a great scene with Asa Akira in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples. In Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples, he’s paired with Skin Diamond and they two of them really go to town on each other. I’ve wanted to direct Skin Diamond from the moment I laid eyes on her. She is so stunning, plus she’s smart, funny, and actually showed up EARLY to the set. Unheard of in porno land, but definitely a way to score points with me! We had a last minute replacement for hair and makeup and this guy usually does mainstream work; you don’t have to do much with Skin, but he put her hair into this unbelievable updo twist thing that made her even more gorgeous. We goofed around a lot shooting stills.


She and Derrick have done many scenes together before, so they have this dom/sub dynamic that they slipped quite easily into. He began the scene by blindfolding Skin and tying her to the bed. He immediately started lots of verbal domination, something he’s so good at, setting the tone for the role play. Then he slipped a ball gag made of candy into her mouth, which made her drool sticky saliva all over her face. She said it didn’t taste that bad when she first had it in, but after awhile I am sure she was dying to get rid of it! Then he started teasing her, where he put a vibrator on her pussy just out of reach of where she really wanted it.


They also used a door swing that doesn’t require any special hardware, it just goes over the door. They really rocked the swing and had lots of fun. It was easy to set up, but I wanted to lock the door so it wouldn’t swing open by accident. We had to lock it from the inside since it was the door to the bathroom, but my lighting guy assured me he’d be able to pick the lock from the other side. Luckily, he did!