I recently visited my local hip sex shop, and was amazed how many sex toys there are! There was a whole shelf of “butt plugs” — are those the best for anal penetration? Are there other particular toys that are good?

–Overwhelmed by the Selection, Jamaica Plain, MA

Well, the Anal Advisor happens to work in a sex toy store (Babeland) which helps me keep my finger on the pulse of sex toy trends and affords me a discount to purchase and test all the sex toys my little perverted heart desires! Let’s just say I know a thing or two about toys. In fact, my toy box is overflowing right now with all kinds of tools to shove into various orifices — my own and those of my loved ones. One of my favorite toys to use right now is a butt plug called “Voyager” and manufactured by a company called Dils for Does. It has a flared based, a skinny bottom portion and a very bulbous head at the top; it comes in four different sizes, all the same shape. The great thing about Voyager is that because of its unique shape, it is very easy to hold inside. Even with the strongest of muscles, sometimes butt plugs tend to slip out, especially if other activities are going on. This plug stays in place no matter what. I’ve been spanked, flogged, paddled, and caned with the plug inside. I’ve even been made to stand upright, do household chores, and run around — all the while with Voyager nestled in my ass!

Now for my advice:

There are lots of different toys on the market, and you should make your selection based on what you want to do with your toy. Butt plugs come in many different sizes, but all have a similar shape with slight variety: they are usually narrow at the top, thickest in the middle, and narrow at the base, which is flared. Some are diamond shaped, others are rippled with segments going from small to large. The great thing about butt plugs is that they were made for your butt. The flared base insures that a plug won’t get “lost” or go too far inside your ass. Butt plugs can be inserted in the ass and worn for a period of time. Because of their shape, they are designed to stay in place rather than be pushed in and out, as the sphincter muscles close around the narrow bottom. Butt plugs are good for two things. Many people like the feeling of fullness they get from having something in their ass, while other activities are going on. Butt plugs are also a great way to get your ass used to having something in it; the longer the plug stays in, the more the anal muscles tend to relax and open up. Using a series of different sizes of plugs can help you work up toward having something larger in your ass, like a dildo or penis.

Dildos come in so many different shapes and sizes that there is practically one for every individual taste, need and desire. There are dildos that look like dicks (with balls and realistic-looking heads), dildos that look like torpedoes, and even dildos that look like dolphins. Dildos that curve up from the base (instead of straight out) are often better suited to anal intercourse because they nicely mirror the curve of the rectum. Dildos are the best tools for the in-and-out variety of fucking.

Vibrating butt plugs and dildos have all the pluses of their non-vibrating counterparts, with the added attraction of a little buzz. Vibrators are also great for anal penetration, and vibration can actually relax the anal sphincters. Just make sure that the vibrator is long enough — like over 7″ — for penetration, and, ideally, has a flared base.

Anal beads are latex or plastic beads on a string with a ring on the end. The beads can be the size of marbles all the way up to the size of golf balls. Regardless of their size, make sure the balls are clean, smooth (file the edges if they’re not) and well-lubricated, and that the string is at least seven inches long. Many people like to insert the beads in the rectum while having their genitals stimulated. You should insert one bead at a time, giving the rectum a chance to adjust to the sensation; plus, it can be quite intense to feel the anus contract around each bead. Some people like to feed the balls inside and then pull them out just as they are climaxing; others like to climax with the beads in and then remove them. Remember, withdraw the beads slowly and gently, and don’t try to pull the entire string of beads out in one motion too quickly or it may be uncomfortable.

The majority of these toys are made of either silicone or latex. Silicone is the best material for toys because it is completely non-porous and therefore very easy to clean and disinfect. It’s also very resilient and conducts body heat. Latex rubber is less resilient and more difficult to clean, however does tend to be less expensive than silicone. There are also toys made of lucite, pyrex glass, wood, and leather.

In general, when choosing a toy, keep the following rules in mind:

1. Never put any sharp objects or anything with rough or jagged edges in the rectum.
2. Always use a lubricant with a toy; remember, the rectum is not self-lubricating. I recommend a thick, water based lube like I-D, Slippery Stuff Gel, Lube de Luxe Gel, Probe (Thick) or Maximus.
3. Make sure that your tool is flexible enough to maneuver the curves of the rectum. Very hard, rigid things (like candles, metal or wooden objects) are not a good idea for your ass.
4. Make sure that you clean your toys after each use, with sex toy cleaner, antibacterial soap and hot water, or bleach (diluted one part bleach, ten parts water).
5. Never put anything in a rectum that may get lost or will be difficult to retrieve. Make sure dildos, plugs, and vibrating toys have flared bases.
6. It’s really not a good idea to put something of an unrealistic width, length, shape or size in someone else’s or your own ass. Use common sense.