Feb 202013

It’s embarrassing for me to write this letter to you because this is the first time I will admit to anyone that my husband and I have anal sex. I actually am getting past the pain, and learning to enjoy it. A friend told me that you can eventually get colon cancer and other things from letting a man come inside your butt, is this true?

–A Little Scared

Please don’t be embarrassed by your admission and know that there are tons of other people having anal sex out there! Let’s talk about the risks of a man ejaculating inside your ass. The ass is made of delicate tissue that can have minute tears in it, allowing easy access to the bloodstream. If you are monogamous and he has tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), then he can come in your ass. If you are not monogamous or don’t know his STD status, then, by having unprotected anal sex and ejaculating in your ass, he can transmit gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, human papilloma virus (HPV) also called anal warts, HIV, or hepatitis.

There isn’t any definitive link between semen in your butt and colon cancer. However, according to the National Cancer Institute, contracting HPV in the ass (anal warts) can increase your chances of colon cancer. Some studies suggest that other STDs and trauma to the anal canal and rectum — the kind that would result from not using lube or warming the ass up properly — can also lead to rectal or colon cancer.

Sep 122011

I directed three new sex-ed shorts—on cunnilingus, fellatio, and the G-spot—for the fabulous feminist sex shop and site The Smitten Kitten. They star me, Dylan Ryan, and Danny Wylde and you can watch them for free here. I’m very proud of how they turned out, and can’t wait to hear what all of you think. In addition to some solid information, there is super hot sex—er, demonstrations—by Dylan and Danny. This was the first time these two had ever worked together, which is always a totally mystery going in. As it turns out, they have insane can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other chemistry. We shot so much good stuff that we had plenty left over. So, in addition to the sex ed shorts, you can purchase a full sex scene, “Dylan + Danny: Extra Credit,” on demand. Photos above are by Clare from The Smitten Kitten who was on set.

Jun 182005

My fiancé and I have always wanted to try anal sex, so we bought your video and we got a beginner’s anal kit. I was wondering though, is it safe for a man to come in your ass? And if he does, do you have to have an enema to clean it out afterwards?

–New to Anal

If a man comes inside your ass without a condom, as the recipient of the come, you are at risk of contracting HIV, hepatitis, and other sexually-transmitted diseases (if your partner has any of these, of course). If you and your fiancé have tested negative sexually-transmitted diseases and are monogamous, then it’s safe for him to come in your butt. What goes in must come out, though, as our butts have a natural flushing-out process. So, you may have a runny bowel movement afterward, but there’s no need to have an enema post-buttfucking.

May 152003

I’m a heterosexual male. After about 3 years or so, I’ve got my partner into anal sex. First, I worked her up into accepting two fingers, then I worked her up to my cock. As suggested I used lots of lube, the thick stuff; I also ejaculated in her ass. Later that day she complained of having really loose stool and a watery discharge. Could this be from her body expelling an abundance of come or using too much lube? I love ass play but I don’t like the idea of wrecking someone’s plumbing for the day. What’s the best way of lubing someone without overdoing it?


Many people experience runny or loose bowel movements after extended anal play, so your girlfriend’s experience is a common one. Unfortunately, what goes in must come out, and while some of the water-based lube will dry up and some will be absorbed into the body, the rest has to get flushed out of the rectum the old fashioned way. Plus, most water-based lubes contain some form of glycerin (which helps lube stay wet), and glycerin is used in suppository form for constipation, so, well, you get the idea. You may want to try a glycerin-free lube, like Maximus or Slippery Stuff for example, or one with glycerin low on the list of ingredients. Another alternative is to experiment with silicone lubes. Silicone stays wet much longer, and so you need a fraction of the amount you’d use in a water-based lube for penetration. Eros makes a silicone gel version which I definitely recommend.

Jan 032003

My girlfriend and I just started having anal sex; thanks for your wonderful web site and all your great advice. I was wondering, would a fairly good amount of semen in the rectum do anything bad? Or would you recommend against it?

–Avid Analist

Lots of people ask about having unprotected anal sex, and if ejaculation in the ass is harmful in any way, and the answer, like those to many questions is: it depends. If you have anal intercourse without a condom, both partners can be at risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, and hepatitis. The risks increase for your partner if you ejaculate, since semen has a high concentration of HIV and many of the STDs mentioned. If you and your partner tested negative for all these diseases and are monogamous, then having anal sex without a condom and coming in her ass is safe. Since you described your load as “a fairly good amount of semen,” I’ll remind you that what goes in must come out, so the semen may dribble out of her ass (along with all the lube you put in there), but a quick trip to the bathroom should take care of that!

Sep 102002

When my wife and I have anal, she can feel the throb of my penis when I orgasm. But I’ve always heard there are women who can detect much more than that: they feel the semen splashing warm into their butts when their man comes. My wife cannot. We both wish she could, but if this just a myth we’d have less reason to feel disappointed. Can some women really feel the squirt itself?

–Sympathetic Squirter

The anal canal and rectum are full of nerve endings and therefore very sensitive, which is why the ass responds so well to stimulation, vibration, and penetration. This sensitivity also leads some women to feel other sensations besides the usual pleasure feelings from a good ass fucking, which accounts for the throbbing of your cock that your wife feels. While many women say they can feel a man’s cock spasm as he comes, I’ve only known a few women who say they can actually feel a rush of semen in their ass. I suppose it depends on a woman’s sensitivity and the speed, force, and amount of the guy’s ejaculation. Most men don’t ejaculate enough to produce a splashing effect like you describe.

That said, remember that our nerve endings connect back to our brains, which tell us what we’re feeling. So, if a woman can visualize the moment of ejaculation when semen squirts out of a cock and into her ass, then she can associate what she feels with that action. In other words, the power of suggestion can be more potent than concentrated semen. If you tell her when you come, and describe it for her, the two of you can share the experience on an intense, visceral level.

Oct 032000

I have a question about ejaculating dildos and butt plugs. I saw a “recipe” for cum that is made up of condensed milk, egg white and sugar. I want to use this in a ejaculating dildo. Is it safe to use this “cum” in my ass? Could this cause any medical problems?


Well, Martha Stewart would certainly be proud that you are so enterprising! Ejaculating dildos and butt plugs are lots of fun; they give you the opportunity to experience shooting a hot load up your own ass or the rear of a friend. My first experience with a squirting dong came when I was sucking off a butch girl; she slammed her cock into my mouth, and at the same time squeezed her balls. Suddenly, a burst of fluid shot to the back of my throat, and the surprise alone made me soak the wood floor I was kneeling on!

I’ve heard that different people swear by different formulas for the perfect confection of fake jizz. The most important thing to keep in mind when getting out the measuring cups is that anything you put in your rectum will be automatically absorbed into your blood stream. A shot of sweet faux cum could leave you with a stomach ache. The one that you describe (made of condensed milk, egg white and sugar) creates an impressively life-like texture and aesthetic; if you were going for great visuals — a pop shot on someone’s mouth or tits, for example — that recipe would work well. If, however, your cum shot is meant to be an internal one, I would err on the side of caution and recommend that you simply use warm water. It will still feel quite real, and it is your safest choice healthwise.

Jan 152000

My husband and I have been married for six years. Although he has always played with my ass while we were making love, about three weeks ago, he actually put his cock in my ass. We’ve been doing it ever since, and it’s been great! He’s rather large, but we do a lot of warm up. Generally, we do it doggie style because I enjoy looking in the mirror, and seeing him behind me pumping away. Here’s my dilemma. Dennis always pulls out when he is about to come. This is very disappointing to me, and I would like to have him continue and shoot his juice into me. Would there be any problem with allowing his sperm to get into me that way?

–V.P., Bennington, VT

Congratulations on discovering the pleasures of butt bangin’! Once you open this particular flood gate, things will never be the same again. The question about your husband coming in your ass is a popular one (I got the same query from five different people this month). There really is nothing like the feeling of having a man’s hot load burst from his cock and fill that tight little orifice. He doesn’t have to feel worried or anxious about pulling out at the right moment — he can concentrate on working his way up and just letting go. He can stay inside until he has ridden his climax all the way to its end. As the receptive partner, the feeling of a firm dick inside my ass is out of this world, and I especially like to feel the moment before the climax, when that dick gets rock hard and ready to explode; if the guy pulls out at that moment, I feel empty, deprived, hungry, left on the side of the road to walk home alone. If we can share his coming together, I feel more connected with my partner, and his peak usually pushes me right over the edge into my own ecstatic orgasm.

But I understand that you are concerned about the safety of such a slippery through-the-sphincters delivery. If you are monogamous, and both of you have tested negative for HIV, STDs, and hepatitis, then your husband can come in your ass, and it is relatively low risk for both of you. If, however, you don’t have current negative test results for all these diseases, then either of you could transmit something to the other person through unprotected anal intercourse. This is true whether he comes inside you or not. You said you are married, but since this is the new millennium, I will not automatically assume that you are monogamous — you or your husband may have sex with multiple partners. If that is the case and for other readers out there who may be non-monogamous, anal penetration without a condom can put both people (and especially the receptive partner) at risk for contracting HIV, STDs, or hepatitis. Condoms and lube are the way to go. Let’s play it safe, folks!