Sep 262012

Honey Lube is, without a doubt, the most adorably packaged personal lubricant in the world. It comes in the standard bear-shaped honey-bottle, complete with a squeeze-top and a button nose. The only thing that could possibly make this lube cuter would be if it was delivered by a puppy. Holding hands with a kitty. Sitting next to a sneezing baby panda. So, as a sucker for smart marketing and cute animals, I had incredibly high hopes for Honey Lube—high hopes that it didn’t live up to.

That it not to say that this lube crashed and burned in my rankings (or in my vag), it just didn’t get an A+. Off the bat I was struck by the fact that this lube was unflavored. Ignoring the words “unflavored” clearly written on the label, I took a taste. Not only did it not taste like honey, it tasted straight-up bad. In other words, this is not the lube I would grab for oral play. To be fair, adding flavoring would probably require changing some aspect of its healthy list of ingredients—Honey Lube is glycerin and paraben free and contains honey extract, a naturally antibacterial super food linked to healing yeast infections.

Since it’s water-based, Honey Lube is compatible with condoms as well as most toys. However, if you choose to use Honey Lube with a toy make sure you clean the toy immediately afterwards. If you don’t take this crucial step your toy will turn into a fuzzy, debris-covered, fly-paper esque plaything—something that does not belong in your pussy.

The texture of Honey Lube is reminiscent of watered-down honey, the kind that slowly drips out from the bottom of a teacup. This was a pleasant surprise. I am always looking for a nice in-between lube—not to thick and not too thin. In the texture department, Honey Lube is just right.

Unfortunately, this initial texture does not last forever. It dries out quite fast and, once dry, becomes sticky. This problem can be remedied with the application of spit or water. But, being the lazy, stubborn person that I am, I prefer not having to stop mid thrust, pulse, flick, stick or vibrate to spit into my hand and reinvigorate my lube.

To be honest, if Honey Lube didn’t come in such a great bottle I would give it a clear stamp of disapproval. But the marketing folks got me once again! I loved reaching into my bedside table and lathering my partner with lube from a honey bear. The fact that this lube was mediocre seemed like a minor price to pay in order to have a honey bear involved in my sex life. So I recommend this lube for anyone who, like me, enjoys cute novelty products. But, if you’re just looking for a good lube, I’d pass on the honey, hunny.


Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.