Jun 152015
 

AMOROUS REVOLT

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Amorous Revolt
is a brand new Queer Camping event happening from July 31-August 2, 2015. This event is designed by queer people for queer people to build and foster intentional communities for support, education and play. Amorous Revolt features skillshares and workshops including kink, crafts, health, life skills and spirituality, as well as networking events, dance parties, and performances.

In an effort to make the event as accessible as possible, we have an organized rideshare system, ASL interpreters, 24/7 medical staff, and an emotional support space. We also have community organized cabin, play and workshop spaces for People of Color, Transgender/Gender Nonconforming People, Sober folks, and Neurodiverse folks.

Please join us at the first ever Amorous Revolt July 31-August 2, 2015 at Ramblewood in Darlington, Maryland. For more information visit our site or join us on Fetlife, Facebook, and Twitter.

ALSO in JULY….

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In Dallas, Texas on July 24 2015, PolyDallas2015 is hosting the Affirming Polyamorous and Non-Monogamous Relationship Symposium. It is being held at the office of Vantage Point Counseling Services. This is the first symposium, with a primary focus on polyamorous relationship and family structure, to be held in the Dallas/Fort Worth [DFW] area. Co-Presenters Ruby B Johnson and Shawn Chrisman hope to contribute to the knowledge base of mental health practitioners and other community providers. For those attendees who are not in the DFW area, this symposium is offered as a live webinar stream.

Polyamorous and Non-Monogamous relationships have become more visible over the last decade. The way individuals, in their 20s to early 30s (Millennials), are relating, connecting, attracting, and permitting themselves to have non-traditional relationships is creating a more sex positive and dynamic relationship structure. However, Generation X proves to have a different experience and expectation of relationships and their structure.

Hence the exposure, experience, and knowledge base of these different relationships is mysterious to many mental health and substance abuse providers within the community. Demystifying and educating providers is key to providing a conducive non-shaming therapeutic environment. Providing knowledge is a practice of cultural competence; infusing cultural humility into practice creates authenticity and positive regard within the clinician.

To support these principles of the helping relationship, the content richly addresses definitions of polyamory and non-monogamy, coupled with a graph which offers a visual aid for attendees. Heteronormative and monogamous privilege is exposed as well as how those forms of privilege create challenges to provider’s beliefs, values, and norms of relationships. To assist with unpacking privilege, myths and misconceptions of these relationships are debunked. Next, the focus shifts to the therapist and other helping professionals.

With each one of the tenets of cultural humility, solutions, techniques, and suggestions for change are offered that include (not limited to) unconscious bias, racial bias, counter transference, professional boundaries, dual relationships, microaggressions,, social, political, economic bias, sex positivity versus sex addiction, and intellectual privilege (Dunning-Kruger Effect).

Certain theories have been shown to assist with effective practice such as systems, constructivism, Bowenian, feminist, and gender queer. Techniques such as the genogram, gender/relationship inclusive assessments, narrative versus structured assessment, collaborative (with client) treatment planning and interventions, including considerations for cultural, social, community, and services barriers. Additionally, one must be aware of community resources and support.

Please follow us on Twitter @polydallas2015.

Presenters:

Ruby B Johnson (LMSW, LCDC, SAP, CSAT Candidate) received her Bachelors of Social Work in 2003 from Texas Women’s University and her Masters of Social Work in 2005 from the University of Texas at Arlington. Since 2003, Ruby’s roles have included clinical practitioner, community and professional development educator, and graduate and under graduate adjunct professor. In private practice, her areas of expertise are substance use disorders, sex addiction, intimacy and love addiction, multi-cultural families and couples, SOGIE, polyamorous/non monogamous partnerships/families, and Kink/BDSM. Ruby Johnson provides therapeutic support, care, and intervention with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender variant/non-binary, queer, and same gender loving communities. Currently, Ruby is in private practice at Vantage Point Counseling Services and Inamorata LLC.

She has presented at several national, state, and local conferences including Society of Social Work Research Conference, Council of Social Work Education Conference, DFW Behavioral Health Symposium, and, most recently, her proposals were accepted at The State Texas Association of Addiction Professionals Conference and Black Families, Black Relationships, and Black Sexuality Conference in Philadelphia. Ruby is a member of various professional organizations including Texas Association of Addiction Professionals [TAAP], Association of Addiction Professionals [NAADAC], International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals [IITAP], American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists [AASECT], Society for Advancement of Sexual Health [SASH] and most recently, Association of Black Sexologists and Clinicians [ABSC].

Shawn Chrisman (MS, LPC, PhD Candidate) is currently a practicing Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas.  He received his clinical training with a Master’s in Counseling from Southern Methodist University, and is currently working towards his doctorate degree in Human Sexuality from Widener University.

Shawn works with individuals and couples on sexuality-related issues, including addressing intimacy, sexual identity, gender dysphoria, sexual dysfunctions and other concerns.  Shawn also identifies as a kink-aware therapist and works with couples enjoying diverse relationship structures, such as open or polyamorous relationships.  Shawn is an active member of American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS).  He has also presented workshops for professionals and community members at local universities and organizations. Shawn has been published in Qualitative Health Research.

May 062015
 

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This week’s episode is a necessary conversation on a complex topic. Angel, Brecklyn, and Mollena Williams discuss race, racism, and various issues that Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) face in BDSM communities. They tackle the controversy surrounding International Ms. Leather 2015, inclusivity in the kink world, how social media has changed the way we talk about race, the concept of colorblindness, practical advice for white allies, and “the luxury of discomfort.” Recorded live at International Ms. Leather 2015 in San Jose.

Tune in Friday, May 8 at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. Join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com.

Angel is a trans gender defiant queer, whose passion lies in educating, advocating and coaching folks to sexual and intimate fulfillment. Angel is committed to social justice and a fully realized and intersectional sex positivity.

Brecklyn is an East Coast-raised stone butch dyke and boy. He’s been active in the leather and kink community over the past 5 years and outside that has facilitated workshops on topics including anti-oppression, trauma, and organic farming. He especially likes to connect with other queer and trans people of color and can be reached on FetLife at theory_nowpractice.

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photo by Don Sir Photography

Owned by “Herr Meister,” (her beloved Maestro, an internationally acclaimed composer) Mollena Williams currently serves as Muse and slave in his heart and home. For her part, she’s an award-winning, critically acclaimed writer, actress, BDSM Educator, and storyteller. She is author of The Toybag Guide: Taboo Play and co-author of Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities. Her perspectives on BDSM are frequently sought after by news sources such as The New York Times, The Huffington Post, Newsweek, Essence, and Ebony, and is a frequent guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast.

Her essays appear in Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Sex and a bunch of the Best Sex Writing books. She’s a featured educator with KinkAcademy.com. Her award-winning experimental short BDSM film “IMPACT” debuted at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts and has screened in the USA, Canada, Europe and Australia in Cinekink 2013, as well as indie film festivals across North America, Europe and Australia.

She is International Ms. Leather 2010 and Ms. SF Leather 2009, was honored with the 2012 Jack McGeorge Award for Excellence in Education in BDSM, and is thrilled to have won the National Leather Association’s 2011 and 2012 Cynthia Slater Non-Fiction Article Award and shared the 2013 Geoff Mains Non-Fiction book award for Playing Well with Others.

Jan 302014
 

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Sex educator Tristan Taormino has teamed up with Sportsheets and Good Vibrations to make this a very special Valentine’s Day! Tristan hand picked some of her favorite Sportsheets and Sex & Mischief toys to create Tristan’s Kinky Essentials Gift Box, available at Good Vibrations.

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This special gift set is chock full of kinky tools for some fun bondage and roleplay. Celebrate this Valentine’s Day in style with quality toys including: the signature Door Jam Cuffs (as featured in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples), Steele Balls (Kegel balls), the Doggie-Style Strap, Bondage Tape, Cuff Love (soft adjustable cuffs), Red Rubber Tickler, Soft Blindfold (as seen in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples) and a Riding Crop. All the tools you need to bring some kink into your life, packaged in a beautiful box, ready to give to that special someone. Instead of flowers and candy, give your sweetie what they really want: a hot night of sexual adventure with the promise of more to come!

And if you want some bedtime reading to go with it, why not check out Tristan’s e-book 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM, perfect for beginners curious about the world of kink. If you’re a little more advanced, then The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is a great read. If you’re looking for fantasy material, try Best Lesbian Bondage Erotica.

Sep 102013
 

cleo dubois

This Friday, September 13th at 5pm PT / 8 pm ET, I interview educator, ritualist, and founder of the Academy of S/M Arts, Cleo Dubois. Dubois enjoys guiding both newcomers and experts on sophisticated techniques related to kink and BDSM and she’ll discuss how consensual powerplay is a valid path to self-discovery, intimacy and healing. We’ll get a peak inside her popular intensive weekends for dominants taught at the San Francisco Citadel and hear highlights from her blog, In Kink With Heart, true stories of her 30 years in the scene.

This week’s show is live, so find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air!

Cleo Dubois is a BDSM Educator, ritualist, and creator of the Academy of S/M Arts. A versatile sadomasochist , she came out in the San Francisco Leather Scene in the early 80s. She made two popular docu-films, “The Pain Game” and “Tie Me Up,” & presents at local and national leather events. She offers, with Eve Minax, Erotic Dominance Intensives Weekends focused on connecting heat, heart and spirit in our consensual power play. Helping new comers embrace their kink and mentoring couple play in the privacy of her dungeon are her specialties.

 

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Aug 212013
 

We featured a bunch of fantastic bondage toys in my latest instructional movie Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples, and I’ve compiled a guide to all the toys by scene, complete with links to the exact products as well as similar items and some of my favorites.

Scene 1: Samantha Ryan and Michael Vegas

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Sex & Mischief Grey Tie
Also fun: Experimental Kink Kit

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Bondage Tape

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The Original Magic Wand Vibrator

Scene 2: Adrianna Luna and James Deen

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Bondage cuffs from the Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit

More options: Cuff Love, Tethers & Leopard Restraints
Bound to Please Leather Collar
Sex and Mischief Red Restraint Kit

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Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

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Sex & Mischief Sex Sling

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Natural Contours Superbe Vibrator

Two of my favorite vibes: Laya Vibrator and We-Vibe Touch


Scene 3: Skin Diamond and Derrick Pierce

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Blindfold and bondage cuffs from the Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit
More options: Our First Bondage Kit, Cuff Love, Tethers & Leopard Restraints

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Sweet Lips Candy Ball Gag
Actual one we used: Pipedream Candy Ball Gag

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Deluxe Fantasy Door Swing
And don’t forget Skin’s favorite vibe: The Original Magic Wand Vibrator

Scene 4: India Summer and Danny Wylde

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Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs

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Submit to Me Beginners Bondage Kit
purple silk scarves we used: Black Rose Silky Surrender

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Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing
and don’t forget: The Original Magic Wand Vibrator

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Aug 052013
 

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The last time I shot India Summer was for The Expert Guide to Threesomes, although she also appears in the photos in my book The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation, shot by the wonderful photographer Holly Randall. I was looking forward to working with India again in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples, since she has one of the best attitudes in porn; she truly loves sex and her job. She was paired with Danny Wylde, who was so stellar in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples with Lyla Storm.

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The scene begins in a doorway, where Danny has tied up India with door jam cuffs and has his head buried between her legs. After a hot orgasm, India turns the tables, and puts Danny in the very same bondage he put her in. She returns the favor with a sloppy blow job. That’s right folks, it’s a switch scene! Switch scenes, where the dominant/submissive roles are fluid and shift, are still too rare in porn movies, and I want to see more of them, so I am glad I included one in this movie. On the couch in the living room, they used purple silky scarves and took turns tying each other up.

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At one point, we took a break to replace a camera battery and India was on top grinding into Danny. Just before the cameras started rolling again, Danny turned to her and said, “Can you do more of that?” These are the moments I just love (and wish I could capture on camera, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, it’s the nature of porno). It was genuine and sexy as hell to see Danny turned on and asking for more.

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Their scene culminates in the Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing which was suspended from a steel bondage frame (many thanks to Stockroom for a major hook up to get this in time at a reasonable price). This is a pretty elaborate swing that hangs from a single suspension point with a bungee cord that gives it lots of bounce. It took a little time for India and Danny to get the hang of it but they had a lot of fun having her suspended in mid air.

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Aug 042013
 

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It’s no secret that Derrick Pierce is one of my favorite performers, and he did a great scene with Asa Akira in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples. In Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples, he’s paired with Skin Diamond and they two of them really go to town on each other. I’ve wanted to direct Skin Diamond from the moment I laid eyes on her. She is so stunning, plus she’s smart, funny, and actually showed up EARLY to the set. Unheard of in porno land, but definitely a way to score points with me! We had a last minute replacement for hair and makeup and this guy usually does mainstream work; you don’t have to do much with Skin, but he put her hair into this unbelievable updo twist thing that made her even more gorgeous. We goofed around a lot shooting stills.

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She and Derrick have done many scenes together before, so they have this dom/sub dynamic that they slipped quite easily into. He began the scene by blindfolding Skin and tying her to the bed. He immediately started lots of verbal domination, something he’s so good at, setting the tone for the role play. Then he slipped a ball gag made of candy into her mouth, which made her drool sticky saliva all over her face. She said it didn’t taste that bad when she first had it in, but after awhile I am sure she was dying to get rid of it! Then he started teasing her, where he put a vibrator on her pussy just out of reach of where she really wanted it.

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They also used a door swing that doesn’t require any special hardware, it just goes over the door. They really rocked the swing and had lots of fun. It was easy to set up, but I wanted to lock the door so it wouldn’t swing open by accident. We had to lock it from the inside since it was the door to the bathroom, but my lighting guy assured me he’d be able to pick the lock from the other side. Luckily, he did!

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Aug 032013
 

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Adrianna Luna is a rising star in the world of adult, and it’s easy to see why. Don’t let her tiny frame and voice fool you – she’s a sexual dynamo. James Deen has been getting so much mainstream press lately that it was probably a miracle he was even available to shoot for me, but I am so glad he was. Because the bedroom where we were shooting their scene for Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples was so small, I was crammed with the monitors in a bathroom. This was one of those scenes where everything just fell into place: James brought his A game, Adrianna was 100% into it, and my camera guys were really on, capturing every moment beautifully. The three of us talked about what toys they would use in the scene, but then I left it up to them to set the pace, incorporate the various toys, and basically do what they wanted.

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James began by using the Under the Bed Restraint System to put Adrianna in a spread eagle position on the bed, then he went down on her until she came like crazy. Then, he put her in these cuffs with tethers attached to them and actually tied a vibrator to her hand, then to her body making it impossible for her not to come. When James Deen tortures you, apparently you get lots of orgasms out of the deal.

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I wanted to incorporate this Sex Sling, which is essentially a thick strap with loops for your feet. I wasn’t quite sure how it would look or if it would add anything to the sex, but James got creative and put her in this cool position, where he twisted her body and tied the tethers to the sling itself. He just kept making shit up as he went along, keeping us all guessing about what he’d do next. When it was all over, I flew out of the bathroom screaming compliments at everyone!

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Aug 012013
 

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As a follow up to Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples, I directed Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Bondage for Couples for Adam & Eve, which stars Skin Diamond, Derrick Pierce, Adrianna Luna, James Deen, Samantha Ryan, Michael Vegas, India Summer and Danny Wylde. It was also lots of fun to make, and I want to share some stories from the set along with photos. The first scene features Samantha Ryan and Michael Vegas, two performers I’ve never worked with before who’ve been on my wish list.

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Their scene together kicks off the film with some of the simplest do-it-yourself bondage, including a neck tie (yes, we used the Grey Tie, the one from Fifty Shades of Grey) and Samantha’s stockings. I decided to bring an unopened package of a personal pair of Agent Provocateur silk stockings to use. They wound up being incredibly difficult for Samantha to wrangle: they didn’t have the give that stockings usually have, so they were hard to get on and off and would wrinkle in odd places. So much for luxury! A pair from the drugstore probably would have worked better!

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Samantha and Michael also used one of my favorite accessories: bondage tape, which is incredibly versatile. The pair has wonderful chemistry, and the sex and bondage is playful and romantic. They are well matched because they both enjoy passionate sex that unfolds spontaneously. Michael is a total lover — warm, sweet, and funny. Samantha is insanely intelligent and we had a really heady conversation after her scene while we ate lunch. I really liked both of them and cannot wait to work with them again.

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Jun 272013
 

I love to feature lots of sex toys in my instructional movies, and there are plenty in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples. When people watch my movies, they often email me to ask about a specific toy they saw in a scene. So, I’ve compiled this handy guide to all the toys in my movie, complete with links to the exact products as well as similar items and some of my favorites.

Scene 1: Lyla Storm and Danny Wylde

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Satin Blindfold from Sportsheets Sex & Mischief Line
Another great one: Soft Blindfold
Pink Leather Collar
Also fun: Bound to Please Leather Collar

 

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 Feather Tickler from Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit
Other cool stuff: Flirty Feather Mini Tickler and Experimental Kink Kit

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Edible goodies like Nipple Nibblers
My favorite edibles: Sensuous Chocolate Body Paint, Devour Me Lickable Oil, Lick Me Body Butter

 

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My favorite massage oil candles: Ambiance Luxury Massage Candles & Ignite Me Massage Candle
plus, not to be forgotten:  We-Vibe TouchPlease Cream Lubricant

Scene 2: Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone

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Bondage cuffs with tethers from Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit
More options: Cuff Love, Tethers & Leopard Restraints

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Sex & Mischief Feathered Nipple Clamps from The Fantasy Surrender Kit
Fun without the feathers: Alligator Nipple Clamps

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The Original Magic Wand Vibrator
System JO H2O Lubricant
Also great: Please Liquid Lubricant

 

Scene 3: Aiden Starr and Christian

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Blindfold and Collar from Sex & Mischief Red Restraint Kit
Something fun: Soft blindfold & Red Light Wrist Restraints
Aslan Leather White Jaguar Collar
Another good one: Bound to Please Leather Collar

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Black Leather Leash from Sex & Mischief Red Restraint Kit
I like this one: Black Leather Leash of Love

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The Original Magic Wand Vibrator
Pjur Original Body Glide

 

Scene 4: Asa Akira and Derrick Pierce

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Fur Lined Paddle
Another great paddle: Naughty and Nice Plush Paddle

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Lelo Luna Beads
A different option: Hold Onto Me Kegel Balls

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Little Flirt Butt Plug and MetalWorx Teaser Plug
My favorites: Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug & Njoy Pure Plug

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 The Original Magic Wand Vibrator
System JO H2O Lubricant
Also great: Please Gel Lubricant (great for anal!)

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