Aug 152012
 

Artwork by Joe Newton for The Stranger

While Dan Savage was on vacation, the “Savage Love” Letter of the Day—a.k.a. SLLOTD—had to go on! So Dan asked three different guest columnists to field his readers’ questions while he’s away. I was the guest columnist August 13-17! You can read each of my questions and answers on the SLOG, along with readers’ comments which were diverse and very opinionated here:

August 13: Even Less Kinky Than Plain Vanilla, about incompatibility, kinkiness, and communication
August 14: Fetishes, Porn, Meatballs, and Eggs, about women’s fetishes, a gyno sex fantasy, and gossip
August 15: Hungover and Hurt, about a partner’s boundary violation (trigger warning)
August 16: Maybe I’m More Vanilla Than I Thought, about crossdressing, anal, and sexual compatibility
August 17: Less Face, More Fuck, about a new Dom/sub sex partner who’s avoiding intercourse

Aug 062012
 

Photo by Don Sir Photography

Mollena Williams – our guest for this Friday’s episode of Sex Out Loud – is simply one of the most intelligent and articulate BDSM educators of her generation, and we get to spend the entire hour picking her perverted brain! We will talk about the two chapters on roleplay she wrote for my book The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge. She’ll explain the complex elements of race play, where kinky people play out racist scenarios, use racial epithets, or eroticize racial power dynamics. Mollena will reveal why she is turned on by this controversial kink and other kinds of taboo fantasies. Plus, I’ll ask her about what it’s like to be a woman of color who enjoys being a submissive and a collared slave. Read all about Mollena Williams below, including a list of appearances in the next few months.

This “Delicate, Trembling Flower of Submission” © is a NYC born and raised writer, actress, BDSM Educator, Storyteller and an Award-Winning Executive Pervert. She is extremely proud to have served as International Ms Leather 2010. She is also thrilled to have been named Ms. San Francisco Leather 2009 after that contest’s decade long slumber.

She is deeply honored and profoundly humbled to have been selected to receive the 2012 Jack McGeorge Award for Excellence in Education by Black Rose, and is thrilled to have won the National Leather Association’s 2012 Cynthia Slater Non-Fiction Article Award. She was a finalist for the 21st annual Pantheon of Leather’s Woman of the Year & Northern California Regional Awards. You can watch her being interviewed for the Women’s Leather History Project, as curated by the Leather Archives and Museum.

Her latest project, co-authored with Lee Harrington, “Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities” hits the streets September 1, 2012. She is the author of the “Toybag Gude: Taboo Play.” Her essays appear in 2 anthologies curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel: “BDSM and Race Play” appears in “Best Sex Writing 2010,” (you can read the Jezebel review here!) and “Kiss my Boots” is featured in “The Lust Chronicles.” Her challenging essay on “race play” is featured in“Spirit of Desire: Personal Journeys in Sacred Kink” edited by Lee Harrington. Not one but two essays commissioned by Tristan Taormino appear in the groundbreaking anthology “The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Sex.” Mollena is pleased and delighted to be a featured educator with The Kink Academy, where you can see clips of her speaking on various and sundry topics! She is also a columnist for SexIs Magazine, where she lets loose twice a month on just about anything.

Exploring kink since 1993, active in BDSM and the Leather Community since 1996, and presenting classes since 1998, she speaks at Leather, BDSM and Kink events across the US, Europe and Canada on many Leather and BDSM focused topics. She also brings the knowledge on Kink, BDSM and Leather to such august institutions of higher learning as SF State and Cal State, Harvard, Princeton,Yale, Stamford, and Brown for IvyQ. She has been invited to present this fall for MIT.

Mollena’s been sober since 3-14-2007 and in December that same year, she founded “Safeword,” a 12-step based recovery group for all kinksters seeking recovery from addiction.

International Ms Leather 2010 was truly an international title year with visits to the Pride Festival in Stockholm, Sweden, where she made history as the first Leatherwoman ever invited to march with the venerable Scandinavian Leathermen’s Association! She’s also done her thing in Dublin, Ireland, Berlin, Germany, the UK: toured Amsterdam, Netherlands for Leather Pride, as well as teaching and performing in Vancouver, Canada. A roll-up of her epic IMsL 2010 title year can be found here!

Her background includes a lifetime of training and involvement in the performing arts, which include spoken word, classical theater, dance, performance art, and all manner of stagecraft. Performing professionally since the age of 5, her credits include singing on the soundtrack for the movie The Wiz and co-starring with Danny Bonaduce in the underground cult-classic America’s Deadliest Home Video. Her first solo show,69Stories: One Pervert’s Tale has been re-revived and was a hit in Vancouver BC in November 2010 and Madison, Wisconsin July 2012. You can see an excerpt from it here (“Kiss My Boots” part One, and Part Two) as performed at Rachel Kramer Bussel’s In the Flesh storytelling series. She is a favorite at Dixie De La Tour’s Bawdy Storytelling, has performed for many storytelling venues including Bare! Stories, Tiny, Dangerous Fun Audacia Ray’s Red Umbrella Diaries, Carol Queen’s Perverts Put Out, and was a guest on Kevin Allison’s Risk! Podcast. She has also thrown down onstage for Porchlight Storytelling and is looking forward to an upcoming appearance on NPR’s Snap Judgement.

As a model, Mollena has been featured on the Folsom Street Fair 2010 Poster, as well as modeling for Stormy Leather. She has worked with many well-known and renowned kink, Leather and fetish photographers, including Stacie Joy, Laren Leland, Aeric Meredith-Goujon, Melvin Moten, Don Sir and Michele Serchuk: who’s photograph of Mollena posing with fellow educator Graydancer was featured in the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival 2010.

She is chuffed to have been interviewed for the Leather Archives & Museum’s Women’s Leather History Project. Recent interviews with Mo can be found on Jezebel and on Princeton University’s Equal Writes website. You can also read her 2010 interview with SexisIs Magazine. She was featured in a groundbreaking interview at TheGrio.com on BDSM and race, and also interviewed by Sharon Glassman for the Huffington Post. Her work’s also been published by the Society Of Janus Newsletter, The Eulenspiegel Society’s magazine, Prometheus, as well as the online magazine at ALT.COM and Bondage.com. She has been interviewed for The Bottoming Book, ColorLines Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Abiola Abrams: Love, Sex & Dasting, The Playboy Advisor, Sexploration with Monika and The Reverend Mel Show, SexIs Magazine, The Huffington Post, Jezebel and Racialicious to name a few! She is featured in the award winning documentary “Vice & Consent”. You can also see her all tied up in the instructional video, “Jay Wiseman Teaches Rope Bondage”

A founding member of Crowded Fire Theater Company, and former co-host of San Francisco’s Queer Open Mic, Mo blogs on http://mollena.com. Her blog, The Perverted Negress, has been a featured blog on Fleshbot (not Once but TWICE!) as well as the pick of the week for The Sugasm. And boy howdy, the venerated Jane’s Guide thinks The Perverted Negress’ Blog is pretty rad! Mollena is also a member of Mama’s Leather Family (#1231) , formally dubbed “Mama’s Perverted Negress” and pinned in at the SF Eagle by Mama Sandy Reinhardt herself. She Twitters incessantly over on http://twitter.com/mollena, so follow her there!

UPCOMING APPEARANCES:

August 16th through August 22nd: Boston, MA
  • 8/16 Video shoot with Kink Academy
  • 8/17 Class for New England Leather Alliance
  • 8/18 “Boundary Smackdowns” class for MOB
  • 8/19 “Never A ‘Bad’ Scene!” class for MOB
  • 8/22 “Taboo Play” class for NELA

August 23rd – August 30th: NYC

  • 8/24 Shoot promo on “Playing Well With Others” for Kink Academy
  • 8/26 Shoot for “New Shibari You Can Use” book with Lee Harrington
  • 8/28 Performing at The Inspired Word (real story on kink)
  • 8/29 LIGALY Center Leather Education and STD Testing Event (Presenting “Playing Well With Others” class and discussing STD testing)
  • 8/30 Shoot for film project with Aeric Meredith-Goujon (BDSM themed short film project for Yerba Buena Center for the Arts)

August 31st – September 2nd: Maryland

September 3rd – September 6th – New York, NY

  • 9/5 Work with Aeric on editing the YBCA Film Project

September 7th Through September 26th: Bay Area, CA

  • 9/8 Storytelling, Pleasant Hill
  • 9/10 “The Shout!” True Storytelling, Oakland
  • 9/11 Class for Good Vibrations, San Francisco
  • 9/12 Bawdy Storytelling, San Francisco
  • 9/13 Performance Yerba Buena Center for the Arts
  • 9/18 “Bedtime Stories with Mollena” performance, San Francisco
  • 9/23 Folsom Street Fair

September 27th – October 4th: New York, NY

  • 10/1”The Worst!” True storytelling

October 5th through October 8th, Washington DC

  • Black Rose
Aug 032012
 

Hey, Portland … are you ready?  Cinekink is back in town for a hot, one-night stand! (And if you’re in LA or Chicago, they’re coming to visit you in October and November, see below for dates.)

Sunday, August 5 – 7:00 pm
KINK & KINSHIP
A collection of works that celebrate and explore the special sense of community our kinks tend to engender. Program includes:
The Transexual Dominatrix
So Pomo
Lenny Waller Memorial
Sisterhood of the Sash: International Ms Leather at 25
High: A Black Party Symphony

Glenda Rider of IMsL will be on hand after the screening for a Q&A, raffling off a signed poster commemorating the organization’s annual event!

Sunday, August 5 – 9:00 PM
BEST OF CINEKINK/2012
A special screening of award-winning shorts deemed the year’s best from CineKink, “the kinky film festival!”
The Transexual Dominatrix
Baldguy (Skallamann)
Pedal to Pleasure (from Portland filmmaker Poppy Cox!!)
What Makes Us Queer
Smut Capital of America
Craigslist Dating
Tooshie Smooshie
A Day in the Country

LOCATION:
Clinton Street Theater
2522 SE Clinton Street
Portland, OR
http://clintonsttheater.com/

ADMISSION:
Admission is $8 door/$6 advance per screening, $12 door/$10 advance for both; 18 and over only.

TICKETS:
http://cinekinkpdx12.eventbrite.com/

INFO
For more information and the full program line-up, visit http://cinekink.com/programs-and-events/tour/pdx

SPONSORS:
National tour sponsors for CineKink/2012 include Crystal Delights, KinkyMedical.net, Leather Archives & Museum, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and njoy. Local sponsors include Darklady Productions, Portland Leather Association, PQ Monthly and She Bop.

CineKink: PDX is presented in conjunction with Oregon Leather Pride, which runs August 3-12, 2012.
http://www.oregonleatherpride.org/

Save the dates and stay tuned for more details on these upcoming appearances!

**CineKink: Los Angeles
October 12-13

**CineKink: Chicago
November 16-17

If you’d like to bring CineKink to your event – or know of a festival or theatre that might want to host us – we’re still booking/confirming dates for our 2012 tour! Just send an email to cinekink2012 (at) cinekink (dot) com to inquire.

Also look for an announcement of our CineKink NYC/2013 dates AND call for entries… coming soon!

Jul 262012
 

  • Glorified Love Letters wrote a review (aka a love letter) to Ultimate Guide for Kink and Sinclair Sexsmith featured the book in Lambda Literary’s Cliterotica 2012, a quarterly lesbian erotica review roundup.
Jul 232012
 

This week on Sex Out LoudAVN’s 2012 Female Performer of the Year Bobbi Starr joins us to talk about her love of the oboe, her award winning performances in movies like Belladonna: No Warning 4, directing her own line of films for Evil Angel, why she loves to push sexual boundaries, and where she sees herself in relation to the feminist porn movement. She gives us the scoop on creating ElectroSluts.com, what kinky sex does for her, and why electricity play is so hot. We’ll also get her take on the current controversy around mandating condom use for all porn performers in California. Plus, pro-BDSM sex-positive feminist activist, blogger, and author Clarisse Thorn discusses her new book The S&M Feminist. She’ll breakdown BDSM, women’s submissive fantasies, and the tensions between kink and feminism. Plus, she’ll give us a glimpse of her years spent researching pick up artists (like those in Neil Strauss’s bestselling book The Game and VH1’s hit reality show The Pick-Up Artist), which became the basis for her book Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser.

Bobbi Starr is a very hardcore kind of performer and director. Her scenes have been shot for gonzo companies like Evil Angel, Jules Jordan Video and Red Light District and she won AVN Awards for Most Outrageous Sex Scene and Best Double Penetration Sex Scene as well as an XRCO Award for Most Orgasmic Oralist and two consecutive wins for Superslut. You may have seen her on Kink.com’s websites in many of their scenes, and she’s also in demand in Europe, having received an AVN nomination for Best Sex Scene in a Foreign-Shot Production for “Into the Dark” from Daring Media Group and a coveted Hot d’Or nomination for Female American Performer of the Year. She’s also a former nationally ranked swimmer and a trained professional concert oboist. Follow her on Twitter @BobbiStarr

Clarisse Thorn is a feminist, sex-positive educator who has delivered sexuality workshops and lectures to a variety of audiences, including museums and universities across the USA. In 2009, she created and curated the ongoing Sex+++ sex-positive documentary film series at Chicago’s historic feminist site, Jane Addams Hull-House Museum. In 2010, she returned to the USA after working on HIV mitigation in southern Africa. She has also volunteered as an archivist, curator and fundraiser for that venerable S&M institution, the Leather Archives & Museum. Clarisse’s writing has appeared across the Internet in places like The Guardian, AlterNet, Feministe, Jezebel, The Good Men Project, Role/Reboot, and Time Out Chicago. Follow her on Twitter @ClarisseThorn

Jul 192012
 

“If you’ve been reading (or have heard about) Fifty Shades of Grey and you’re curious about how those kinky games are actually played, this book’s for you. Even if you don’t want to tie up your partner, you’ll learn how to do it right and why it appeals to the folks who play that game.”

 

Jul 062012
 

 

Jul 012012
 

Performer and activist Ignacio Rivera joins me this Friday, July 6th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET for a nuanced discussion about some highly charged subjects. Ignacio, who prefers the pronoun they, will talk about their gender identity and how it impacts their sexuality. We will discuss polyamory in people of color communities, race politics and racially-charged fantasies in the kink world, and how to create a truly inclusive, multi-racial community event. Then Ignacio will look at the challenges of their starring role in the feature film Mommy is Coming and reveal what it was like to work with acclaimed indie director Cheryl Dunye. This episode was recorded live during the OpenSF Conference in San Francisco and includes an audio excerpt of Ignacio’s co-keynote presentation with Yosenio Lewis.

Ignacio Rivera aka Papí Coxxx identifies as a Queer, Trans, Two-Spirit, polyamorous, kinky, Black-Boricua. Ignacio, who prefers the gender-neutral pronoun “they,” is a lecturer, activist, filmmaker, sex educator, sex worker, and performance artist, sharing spoken word, one-person shows, and storytelling internationally. Their work has appeared in ColorLines, Ebony, Yellow Medicine Review, The Ultimate Guide to Kink and in their chapbooks, Las Alas, co-authored by Maceo Cabrera Estévez; Ingridients; and Thoughts, Rants and What Some Might Call Poetry. Ignacio is the recipient of a Marsha A. Gómez Cultural Heritage Award from LLEGÓ: The National Latina/o Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Organization. Ignacio is one of the founding board members of Queers for Economic Justice; they are also the founder of Poly Patao Productions. Ignacio has been facilitating workshops, doing lectures and creating events for kinky, kinky-curious Queer/Trans POCs and their white queer and trans allies for over a decade.

Jun 252012
 

My guest on Sex Out Loud on Friday, June 29 at 5:00 pm Pacific time/8:00 pm Eastern time on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network is Rachel Kramer Bussel – an author who has so far edited over 40 sexy collections, including the Best Sex Writing of 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2012. Rachel and I will talk kinky erotica, BDSM, and sex writing, including the phenomenon of the 50 Shades trilogy. She’ll also discuss her latest book, Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories. For this live show, Rachel has said absolutely NO topic is off limits, so be ready to call in with your most provocative questions and topics!

Rachel Kramer Bussel (rachelkramerbussel.com) is a New York–based author, editor and blogger. She has edited over forty books of erotica, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples; Suite Encounters; Going Down; Irresistible; Gotta Have It; Obsessed; Women in Lust; Surrender; Orgasmic; Bottoms Up; Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica; Fast Girls; Smooth; Passion; The Mile High Club; Do Not Disturb; Going Down; Tasting Him; Tasting Her; Please, Sir; Please, Ma’am; He’s on Top; She’s on Top; Caught Looking; Hide and Seek; Crossdressing; Rubber Sex, and is Best Sex Writing and Best Bondage Erotica series editor. Her anthologies have won 8 IPPY (Independent Publisher) Awards, and Surrender won the National Leather Association Samois Anthology Award. Her work has been published in over one hundred anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006 and Zane’s Chocolate Flava 2 and Purple Panties. She wrote the popular “Lusty Lady” column for the Village Voice.

Rachel has written for Bust, The Daily Beast, The Frisky, Glamour, Gothamist, Huffington Post, Inked, Mediabistro, Newsday, The New York Observer, New York Post, Penthouse, The Root, Salon, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York and Zink, among others. She hosted the popular In the Flesh Erotic Reading Series (inthefleshreadingseries.com), featuring readers from Susie Bright to Zane, and speaks at conferences, does readings and teaches erotic writing workshops across the country. She blogs at lustylady.blogspot.com and cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com.

And! For those folks near NYC, Rachel is conducting a free erotic writing workshop at 7 pm on July 25th at Babeland on Mercer Street in SoHo. RSVP here: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/3706442068

Jun 122012
 


My next guest on Sex Out Loud is author, performer, playwright, and gender theorist Kate Bornstein. Join us on Friday, June 15 at 5:00 pm Pacific time/8:00 pm Eastern time on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network when we’ll talk about her new memoir, her years as a high-ranking Scientologist working directly for L. Ron Hubbard, her transition, BDSM and kink, her time as a collared slave, the documentary being made about her, her own mental health and the struggles LGBT folks with mental health issues face. Plus, she’ll read one of the most provoactive sections from A Queer and Pleasant Danger.

Kate Bornstein is an author, playwright and performance artist whose latest book is her memoir, A Queer and Pleasant Danger. Other published works include the books Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation, Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us, My Gender Workbook, Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives To Suicide For Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws and the cyber-romance-action novel, Nearly Roadkill with co-author Caitlin Sullivan. Kate’s plays and performance pieces include Strangers in Paradox, Hidden: A Gender, The Opposite Sex Is Neither, Virtually Yours, and y2kate: gender virus 2000.

Kate’s books are taught in over 120 colleges and universities around the world; and she has performed her work live on college campuses, and in theaters and performance spaces across the USA, as well as in Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, and Austria. Kate is currently touring colleges, youth conferences and high schools, speaking, leading workshops, and performing. Follow her on Twitter @KateBornstein.