May 012013


Join us this Friday on Sex Out Loud at 5pm PT / 8 pm ET for a discussion with sex educator and author Felice Shays on the topic of rough sex. We’ll discuss the misconceptions and assumptions around the topic, as well as how she came to be one of the foremost experts on the issue and how she instructs couples and individuals on bringing this type of play to their sex lives in safe and sexy ways. Shays is the author of Brutal Affection: The Joys of Rough Sex, which is rich in gorgeous photos, instruction, erotica, and smut, and she recently relaunched the companion site, This episode is the second in our CatalystCon series, recorded live in front of a studio audience at the conference.

Where respect, humor, straight talk, and sex collide is where you’ll find Felice Shays. Providing sexual and BDSM education and counseling for a dozen years in the US and Canada to thousands of people, Felice has been featured in print and on T.V. encouraging people to do breathtaking sexual feats. Recently returned to Brooklyn NY, Felice has presented at a plethora of conferences, sex toy stores, universities, and private functions including Good For Her, Black Rose, Pacific Friction, Dark Odyssey, Babeland, LSM, TES, Wicked Womyn, Shebop, KinkFest, Sugar, Tribal Fire, Come As You Are, The Exiles, Desire, Thunder In The Mountains, and Bringing Age Out Of The Closet. Felice is working on her new book on rough sex, Brutal Affection: The Joys of Rough Sex, an excerpt of which is in Tristan Taromino’s anthology The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge. Due to her work as a certified American Sign Language Interpreter for many years, Felice also teaches Deaf people in ASL about sex, sensual technique and creativity, self-discovery, rough sex, and various aspects of BDSM.

Jan 242013


Even with its flaws, Fifty Shades of Grey has become a worldwide phenomenon that simply cannot be ignored. It has sparked broad discussion and exploration of BDSM among mainstream media and everyday folks. My book, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge came out at a perfect time last year just as the Fifty Shades craze was taking hold. But I realized that The Ultimate Guide to Kink is not necessarily geared for beginners, so I wanted to write a prequel to it. That book was just released by Cleis Press: 50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM. It’s an e-book available for the Kindle and the Nook. It’s the perfect book for anyone who’s been inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey, is curious about kink, wants more information, or is just beginning to explore it. 50 Shades of Kink is a practical guide that moves beyond the fantasy and gives practical advice and techniques based on real world experience. You’ll learn techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, and rough sex and how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life.

Oct 032012

I like watching straight/couples hardcore porn my wife not so much. I am looking for straight/couples hardcore porn that is friendlier toward women. Does such a thing exist? My wife might be more willing to watch it and enjoy it with me if I could find some female friendly hardcore porn DVD’s. Any ideas where I can find this type of porn?

There’s a common misconception that all pornography featuring female submission or hardcore sex is inherently unfriendly to women. I mean, how dare a lady enjoy playing with power, sex, and danger? How dare she relish in the sensation of a slap or choke? And, most importantly, how dare she be filmed and paid to experience pleasure?

If you couldn’t tell, I’m being sarcastic.

This type of porn is right in front of you! Tristan’s Rough Sex series is hot, hardcore, and incredibly female-friendly. Need proof? The entire series is premised on the fact that the female performers design their own rough sex scenes. They choose everything (and everyone) they do. Not enough feminist proof? Prior to each sex scene, the female performer explains her desires and fantasy’s in a brief interview. Many of the starlets want rough, taboo-breaking, bed board shaking sex. And they get what they want! But they’re not the only one’s. Porn viewers (such as your wife) get to relax knowing that the hot, hardcore porn their enjoying was filmed on an ethical, female-focused set.

Personally, I really enjoy hardcore scenes featuring James Deen, Danny Wylde, and/or Bobbi Starr. A 3-way between these performers is my ultimate wet dream (or a 4-way….including me). All of these stars are dedicated to creating safe spaces for rough sex. Plus, they all look amazing while fucking.


Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

Sep 062012

  • The James Deen Fan Club wrote a really fabulous review of Rough Sex 2…