Oct 022012

I have been told a million times by my mother (who’s a nurse) that no amount of wiping will clean the penis enough to make it safe to go straight from the ass to the pussy. She says a shower is all that’ll do. I have never had anal sex for this reason, but for years, I have been dying to get fucked in the ass. But even more than that, I want to have a bacteria and infection-free pussy. A shower, no matter how warm, seems like it would be a mood destroyer. Is what my mother says true? Is a handy wipe enough? I really want my ass fucked!

–Horny Virgin Ass

Your mother has the right idea: you should never, ever put a dick — or anything else — that’s been in your ass directly into your pussy. Bacteria that lives in your rectum will be transferred to your pussy and very likely give you an infection. You can swipe the cock with a baby wipe, but, technically, no wipe is going to kill bacteria, so some could still be hanging around. (By the way, you should always use baby wipes, which are designed for the delicate genitals. You should never use anti-bacterial wipes that are meant to clean your hands or household surfaces.) A shower with some anti-bacterial soap is the best way to assure yourself that the dick is bacteria-free. And actually, I think a shower can be sensual and fun if you do it together. Your other option is to use condoms, and simply change the condom when you change the orifice.

What puzzles me about your letter is that you have been avoiding anal penetration because of the ass-to-pussy restriction. Who says that anal sex must always include that particular kind of action? It’s safe to go from pussy to ass, or to have anal intercourse all on its own.

Sep 052012

Are you able to have anal sex if you have hemorrhoids?

The first rule of thumb when it comes to sex is don’t do something that doesn’t feel good—physically or emotionally. Hemorrhoids do not feel good. Probing them with a cock, dildo, fist, finger, or any other penetrative object can intensify this pain (and not in a fun way). Anal play with hemorrhoids also increases your chance of anal tearing, which, in turn, increases your risk of transmitting diseases.

For these reasons, it is best to hold off on anal play until the swelling goes down. If you’re unsure whether your ass is ready to cum out and play, talk to your doctor. Do not be embarrassed. Physicians have seen and heard it all, especially in the anal realm.

If your hemorrhoids are mild, the swelling has decreased, or you cannot wait to stick things in your ass, remember that anal play with hemorrhoids (or without hemorrhoids, for that matter) requires a lot of open communication. And lube. Lots of lube. Lube is necessary for all anal play. But it is ESPECIALLY important when you’re dealing with hemorrhoids. There is no such thing as too much lube. So lather, rub, dip, and slather on the magical, slippery stuff. Your ass will be happy you did.


Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

Feb 202012

The Expert Guide to Pegging: Strap-on Anal Sex for Couples comes out on Valentine’s Day!! Isn’t that just perfect? My latest instructional movie from Vivid-Ed stars Dylan Ryan, Wolf Hudson, Jiz Lee, Mickey Mod, Jada Fire, and Christian. This is not your mama’s pegging video, that’s for sure! The cast is awesome, their interviews and chemistry fantastic, and the scenes are the hottest strap-on anal scenes I’ve ever shot! Plus, there are lots of extras on the DVD. And, as always, if you buy it directly from me, you support your local feminist pornographer!

Sep 122011

I directed three new sex-ed shorts—on cunnilingus, fellatio, and the G-spot—for the fabulous feminist sex shop and site The Smitten Kitten. They star me, Dylan Ryan, and Danny Wylde and you can watch them for free here. I’m very proud of how they turned out, and can’t wait to hear what all of you think. In addition to some solid information, there is super hot sex—er, demonstrations—by Dylan and Danny. This was the first time these two had ever worked together, which is always a totally mystery going in. As it turns out, they have insane can’t-keep-their-hands-off-each-other chemistry. We shot so much good stuff that we had plenty left over. So, in addition to the sex ed shorts, you can purchase a full sex scene, “Dylan + Danny: Extra Credit,” on demand. Photos above are by Clare from The Smitten Kitten who was on set.

Sep 242005

My husband and I engaged in some experimental anal fingering recently, myself being the receiver. While it didn’t hurt, it wasn’t the most mind-blowing experience I’ve ever had either, but I’m willing to give it another try. When I went to the gynecologist recently, she found that I had a very small number of possibly precancerous cells due to a virus. It is similar to the human papillomavirus that causes genital warts, only without producing the wart itself. It’s a fairly minor issue as many women don’t develop anything and can go years even without diagnosis. But, as my doc already demands a biopsy every time “just to be sure” on the front hole, that doesn’t mean I want to have to endure it from the back as well.

We know it was my husband that passed this virus to me because he’s been my only partner, so you can understand my concern. Is it possible for me to have similar problems anally, or does this virus only pertain to irritating the vaginal area? I don’t relish the idea of having to explain to my doctor why I may need an anal probe. I’ve researched everywhere I could find on the net and have not been able to find an answer. Please help!

–No Samples Please

There are more than one hundred types of the human papillomavirus (HPV), and more than thirty different strains affect the genitals, including the ass. HPV is a virus most closely associated with genital or anal warts, although not all forms of HPV cause warts. Many of the strains are potentially cancerous including several that have been directly linked to anal and cervical cancers. It is estimated that as many as one in ten people in the United States has HPV. The development of HPV and precancerous cells is much more common in the vagina because the cervix provides an excellent breeding ground for such cells.

There’s no cervix-equivalent area of the rectum, so it’s much more rare to have pre-cancerous cells there, although you can absolutely spread the virus there. Since just your husband’s fingers have been in your ass (and not his cock), you are only at risk if he fucked your pussy first, then went directly to your ass. If he did, it’s important for you to be thoroughly checked. If you continue anal play, I’d recommend he use a glove for his hand and a condom if he’s going to fuck you with his cock. If you begin having anal intercourse (especially without a condom), as embarrassing as it may feel, you must be honest with your gynecologist, so she has all the facts and can test and treat you accordingly.

Jul 122005

My girlfriend saw some ass to mouth scene (ATM) in a porn movie and went crazy for it. Now she wants to do it. I am afraid that it might be unsafe for one or both of us. We’ve only been dating a short time and I have the feeling that the reason why she likes anal sex so much is that she actually likes shit. I also think she would like to felch herself since she often plays with the liquid spilling out of her anus and licks her fingers. I’m not sure I want to kiss her after she does it. Should I be concerned?

–Curious But Scared

First let me say that nearly every activity you describe in your letter, including anal penetration without a condom — which isn’t specifically stated but implied since you’re coming in her ass — puts both of you at risk for HIV, hepatitis, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, and other sexually-transmitted diseases. You should both get tested or you should be using a condom and not swapping bodily fluids.

That said, let’s begin with your girlfriend’s ass to mouth fantasy. You’re smart to be concerned about the safety, since there are health concerns with going directly from someone’s ass to their mouth. There is bacteria and fecal matter in her ass that really shouldn’t go other places. The best way to do ATM safely is to pull your dick out of her ass, wipe it with a baby wipe, then stick it in her mouth.

It sounds like your girlfriend is into anal sex, and likes “nasty” stuff like anal creampies, playing with the cum in her ass, and even eating it. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that this means she likes shit. It sounds to me like she enjoys all things anal, and there’s a big different between that and being into scat (shit play). You said you don’t want to kiss her after she’s been shoving her ass-and-cum soaked fingers in her mouth. It sounds like maybe she’s also into a couple other butt fetishes: felching and snowballing. Felching is where a guy comes in someone’s ass, then sucks his come out of said ass. Snowballing is when the person who did the felching then “swaps” the cum with their partner through kissing and/or spitting. Safety-wise, both are risky for both partners: if she swallows your come, she can catch an STD from you, and if you get bacteria or fecal matter from her ass in your mouth, you can get an STD from her.

Beyond the safety issues, it seems that you may not enjoy the same things that she does, and that is an equally important issue. I encourage you to talk to her about your health concerns as well as your desires to see if there is some middle ground that the two of you can explore which you’ll both enjoy.

Jun 182005

My fiancé and I have always wanted to try anal sex, so we bought your video and we got a beginner’s anal kit. I was wondering though, is it safe for a man to come in your ass? And if he does, do you have to have an enema to clean it out afterwards?

–New to Anal

If a man comes inside your ass without a condom, as the recipient of the come, you are at risk of contracting HIV, hepatitis, and other sexually-transmitted diseases (if your partner has any of these, of course). If you and your fiancé have tested negative sexually-transmitted diseases and are monogamous, then it’s safe for him to come in your butt. What goes in must come out, though, as our butts have a natural flushing-out process. So, you may have a runny bowel movement afterward, but there’s no need to have an enema post-buttfucking.

Jun 022005

I’ve been doing extensive research, and I’ve yet to find a site that is willing to explore the eroticism of ass-to-mouth and/or ass-to-vaginal play. I’ve read everywhere that both can be dangerous because of the risk of infections, but my girlfriend and I have been seeing more and more of it recently in porn, and quite frankly, curiosity has stirred in both of us. In the movies, guys go straight from one orifice to another, so unless this is a camera trick, it is being done. Because the porn industry is highly regulated, I’m sure it is being done safely. But I want to make sure since I do not want to endanger her in anyway. Is there a safe and hygienic way to go from ass-to-mouth and from ass-to-pussy?

–ATM and ATV Fan

The porn industry is self-regulated and has strict standards for HIV and STD testing. Beyond that, you must remember that the industry is not a monolithic entity, but a diverse group of people that includes producers, directors, and performers. These people make choices every day about what sex acts they will perform and capture on film. Adult films can depict behavior that some of us may deem risky or even dangerous. Some movies begin with a disclaimer about safer sex practices or a “don’t necessarily try this at home” kind of statement. Porn is a great tool for couples to explore fantasies, but you shouldn’t always assume what you see on the small screen is safe for you or follow it to the letter.

Taking a finger, toy, or cock and moving it directly from an ass to a pussy puts the owner of that pussy at risk for infection. There is bacteria that lives in the rectum (and in fecal matter) that, when introduced into the vagina, will likely set up shop and cause a vaginal infection. Does it happen every single time? No. Do some female porn stars practice ass to pussy and remain infection-free? Sure. But those who do are usually the exception.

As for the ass to mouth route, you’re faced with the same issue: a transfer of rectal bacteria and possibly fecal matter to someone’s kisser. If she has cuts in her mouth or bleeding gums, that bacteria can go directly into her bloodstream. There are a few ways to enact these fantasies more safely. When you pull your dick out of her ass, have a baby wipe handy, give your cock a few swipes, then head toward her pussy or mouth. Baby wipes don’t kill anything, but they can remove some bacteria. Or wear a condom for the buttfucking, then slip it off before you switch from ass to other orifice. I know that condoms and baby wipes may dampen the fantasy of dirty, nasty sex, but better to be safe than sorry.

Mar 102005

My husband and I routinely do anal play together, and he is tempted to try pouring alcohol into my ass, like wine or vodka. Is it possible to get drunk by ingesting alcohol through one’s ass? Are there any implications from putting alcohol in one’s ass?

–Drunken Asswoman

Not only is it possible to get drunk by having any kind of alcoholic beverage poured into your ass, it’s inevitable. When you drink a glass of wine or vodka, it has the benefit of passing through your stomach and liver, where it’s broken down by enzymes before entering the bloodstream. However, because of the absorptive capacity of the rectum and colon, when you absorb alcohol through your ass, it goes directly into your bloodstream. This means that a much smaller amount will make you very drunk. It’s very dangerous to ingest alcohol the way you describe (essentially via an alcohol enema) and could even result in alcohol poisoning. If you want to drink, do it with your mouth. If you want an enema, use plain warm water.

Sep 222004

I have discussed with my wife the possibility of having anal sex. After a little discussion, she said she would try it. We agreed that if it hurt her too much, I would stop. My problem is I have my penis pierced with an ampallang piercing; that’s a horizontal piercing through the head of my penis. I would probably get stuck in her if I did not pull out before ejaculation, and then I’d lose my erection. Any suggestions?

–Pierced in Pennsylvania

Your question raises many more questions. How old is your ampallang piercing? Most piercers recommend an initial healing time of 8-10 weeks, and say it will be fully healed at 6-12 months. In the first couple weeks, erection or orgasm can cause the piercing to bleed. If yours is fully healed, my next question is, how big is the jewelry? You make it sound huge by saying you’re going to get stuck, and, if it is in fact bigger than about 10 gauge, that would be cause for concern. I have not heard of people with average-sized ampallang piercings getting stuck.

Although I do think you should be concerned that your piercing may tear the delicate tissue that lines the rectum or cause your partner pain. I recommend you wear a condom to prevent possible injury or discomfort. Again, all penis piercings with average-sized jewelry should not interfere with the safe use of condoms. Use a condom with a receptacle end to fit comfortably over the jewelry, and lubricate the inside of the condom as well as the jewelry itself to reduce friction.