Jun 262014
 

elle chase

On Sex Out Loud this Friday, June 27th, at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT, I’m live with sex educator, writer, and coach Elle Chase aka Lady Cheeky. In addition to running her popular kinky sex blog and hot tumblr site, Chase coordinates sex ed programming at the newly formed Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education and teaches workshops on her own, including her popular “Big, Beautiful Sex: Sex & Body Image” which examines fat-shaming all around us and how it gets in the way of everyone’s sexual confidence and pleasure, no matter what size clothes you wear. We’ll talk sexual communication as well as recommending toys, techniques, and positions.

This week’s show is LIVE. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air.

Sex educator, writer and coach, Elle Chase is best known for her award-winning and highly trafficked sites, www.LadyCheeky.com (NSFW) and www.SmutForSmarties.com. LadyCheeky.com is a curated sensual images blog that celebrates authentic passion, desire, body-positive sensuality and titillating sexual appetite for women and men who like their porn “smarty, arty and tarty.” Last year, Salon.com named LadyCheeky.com one of ‘The Best of Tumblr Porn’ and DatingAdvice.com listed it as one of the ‘Top 10 Kinky Sex Blogs.’ SmutForSmarties.com, is Elle’s sex & body-positive, sex education and feminist, editorial site, where one can find; tales of erotic indulgence, sex-education resources, sex toy reviews, articles & essays all having to do with the world of sexuality. SmutForSmarties.com is proud to have been honored with the title of “BEST SEX BLOG” by the prestigious LA WEEKLY for their Best of the Web 2013.

As a sex educator, Elle received her comprehensive sex education training, and gained a certification from the prestigious San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI). She regularly contributes pieces on sexual health and pleasure to many online magazines including; www.EvolvedWorld.com, www.Kinkly.com, Gasm.org, The Frisky, Fleshbot, DatingAdvice.com, and the recently released Rachel Kramer Bussel erotica anthology “The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories.” Elle (Lady Cheeky) is proud to be on a number of ‘Top Sex Blogger’ lists, including; Kinkly.com’s “Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013”, and Glamour (Brasil) as one of the ‘Top 100 Sex Blogs in the World.’ Elle has been profiled on TheRumpus and GramPonante.com, quoted in The Huffington Post and Men’s Health UK, and been a guest on highly rated podcasts like; Tristan Taormino’s ‘Sex Out Loud,’ Nerdist Industries: Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast and Playboy Radio’s ‘In Bed with jessica drake.’

Elle is also a speaker who has given talks at universities (most recently at UCLA) has attended panels or co-presented sessions on body image and sexuality at sexuality conferences around the country, including; CatalystCon East and West, 2013 Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, and the 46th Annual AASECT Conference. In addition, next year (2015) Elle, along with the legendary Candida Royalle, will be featured in a Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC) documentary called ’Inside Her Sex’ by Sheona McDonald, about women, sex, and shame. Elle is also the Education Coordinator & Lead Sex Educator at the newly formed, Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education which holds many classes and workshops a month, on sexuality, sexual health and sexual lifestyles for the community at large.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Jun 112014
 

logan levkoff

Logan Levkoff, PhD, sexuality educator, sexologist, and author talks to me this Friday on Sex Out Loud about designing sex ed programs, becoming an AASECT certified sex educator, and empowering children, adolescents, and adults to embrace their sexuality and challenge the impractical, and often unhealthy, messages that they are exposed to. She’ll talk about her latest book, “Got Teens? The Doctor Moms’ Guide to Sexuality, Social Media, and Other Adolescent Realities” and answer questions from listeners on how to navigate conversations with teens and the best ways to create sexually healthy adults.

This week’s show is LIVE. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air.

Dr. Logan Levkoff is an internationally recognized expert on sexuality and relationships. She encourages honest conversation about sexuality and the role it plays in our culture. Dr. Levkoff makes it clear that sex and sexuality are not “dirty” words; she works to create an environment where people feel comfortable asking (and getting answers to) their most personal questions. Dr. Levkoff empowers children, adolescents, and adults to embrace their sexuality and challenge the impractical, and often unhealthy, messages that they are exposed to. As a thought leader in the field of human sexuality, Dr. Levkoff is a regular contributor to television shows including Good Morning America, The Today Show, The CBS Early Show, Nightline, Fox News Channel, and CNN. She is also the host of CafeMom’s show, Mom Ed: In the Bedroom. Dr. Levkoff is the author of three books: Got Teens? The Doctor Moms’ Guide to Sexuality, Social Media, and Other Adolescent Realities (Seal Press, 2014), Third Base Ain’t What it Used to Be: What Your Kids are Learning About Sex Today and How to Teach Them to Become Sexually Healthy Adults (Open Road Media, May 2012), and How to Get Your Wife to Have Sex with You (Good in Bed Publications, October 2011), She is also a contributor to the anthology, Fifty Writers on Fifty Shades (BenBella Books, November 2012) and ToughLove (Simon & Schuster, 2014). In addition to her own work, Dr. Levkoff is a trusted source for many publications and blogs for The Huffington Post. For over a decade, Dr. Levkoff has been teaching groups of all ages and from a variety of backgrounds. She has designed and implemented sexuality education programs, faculty development, and parent education in many secular and religious independent schools, universities, medical schools, and community organizations. Dr. Levkoff’s work with teens and parents has been profiled in numerous publications, including The New York Times. She is also on the faculty of the University of Michigan School of Social Work’s Sexual Health Certificate Program. Dr. Levkoff has been a spokesperson for Trojan, Trojan Vibrations, Trojan Lubricants and serves on the Trojan Sexual Health Advisory Council. She has also served as a spokesperson for The Art of Shaving, a joint project between Starbucks and Yahoo! Personals, Bertolli, Tupperware, and Sealy.

Logan Levkoff is an AASECT certified sex educator and has served on the AASECT Board of Directors. She received her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Life Education from New York University and an M.S. in Human Sexuality Education and a B.A. in English from the University of Pennsylvania. She lives in New York City with her husband, son, and daughter.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Mar 192014
 

Tristan at UTK Sex Week 2014

I just returned from Sex Week at the University of Tennessee, and all I can say is: wow. Before I arrived, I knew all about last year’s de-funding debacle and this year’s continued controversy, which included the state legislature passing an official resolution that condemned Sex Week’s student organizers for organizing the event as well as further threats to cut university funding if Sex Week went on. In one poll, 59% of people said Sex Week should be cancelled. I read the Concerned Women of America’s terrifying press release (favorite quote: “The F.B.I. field office has been notified of planned illegal distribution of pornographic material to minors on campus”) and knew that there wasn’t exactly going to be a marching band to celebrate my arrival. I’ve had students and community members protest my college appearances before, so I was ready for whatever push-back might come my way. I wasn’t prepared for what I discovered: a sexual culture so steeped in shame and stigma that students are afraid to be seen at Sex Week events.

 Read the entire story on GoodVibes blog.

 

Feb 262014
 

Shanna-and-Vivianne1

This week on Sex Out Loud, I talk with sex educator Shanna Katz about her passions around sex and sex education, specifically making sex education inclusive of all communities and how to get the information to people who often are left out of resources. She’ll also discuss her new women’s sexuality book, Your Pleasure Map, a choose-your-own-adventure style guide to hotter, naughtier, more adventurous sex.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a queer kinky disabled femme and board certified sexologist, sexuality educator and professional pervert. From topics like relationship communication skills to non-monogamy, and oral sex to how sexuality and dis/ability intersect, she talks, writes and teaches about the huge spectrum of sexuality, both from personal and professional perspectives. She’s using her Master’s of Sexuality Education to provide accessible, open-source sex education to people around the country, and is currently working hard to bring sex education and positivity to the Southwest as well as online.

A member of the One Colorado Queer White Allies for Racial Solidarity Caucus, the American College of Sexologists, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, as well as on the board of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (Pawtucket, RI) and Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights (Denver, C), Shanna is actively involved in work towards equality and social justice for people of all identities. Teaching classes at colleges and universities (such as Brown University, Colorado College, SUNY-Purchase, ASU, Hofstra, U of A, etc) is one of her favorite ways to expand horizons. She also loves traveling to speak at conferences, sex toy stores, dungeons, women’s groups, LGBTQ centers, art galleries and more, and co-presenting with her partner on looking at privilege in sexuality education and LGBTQ inclusive medical practices.

She has written for many sexuality websites, had a sexuality centric radio show with widespread listeners, has had her erotica published in multiple anthologies, directed queer porn and three books; her first book “Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind” is on cunnilingus for partners of all genders, her book Your Pleasure Map is a choose-your-own-adventure style of sexuality guide for women, and her book being released in February, 100 Lesbian Sex Positions. When not blogging, teaching, writing or tweeting about the oh-so-many interesting and awkward moments in her life, you can find Shanna drinking tea, eating cupcakes, and cuddling with her partner and their three rescued cats; Kinsey, Kali and Jasper. For more info, please visit her sexuality education site, www.ShannaKatz.com.

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Feb 122014
 

heather corinna

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The Valentine’s Day episode of Sex Out Loud focuses on sex education for young folks, featuring a live conversation with Heather Corinna – writer, activist, educator and founder of Scarleteen, the comprehensive sex ed resource for teens and people in their 20s. Heather and Tristan will discuss how sex ed effects everyone in society, what’s the legacy of generations who receive abstinence-only messages, and the definition of quality, progressive sex ed for young people. The show is live and they will be taking caller questions.

This week’s show is LIVE, which means we’ll be giving away a Sportsheets prize to a lucky fan. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air – you could be chosen to win!

Heather Corinna is an activist, writer, artist and educator and the founder and director of Scarleteen.com, the most widely used online sex education resource for young people which has been online since 1998. She is also the author of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Dec 212013
 

Ask Tristan logo450

I got a letter from a guy who was just dying to make his girlfriend squirt. “I’m a bass player and have very strong hands and fingers. When I have fingered her before and really gone for it, she’s had a trickle come out. But I would love her to soak me in her juices!” he wrote. Some men are actually freaked out when a woman ejaculates; they may not understand it or they may think she’s peeing. I loved his enthusiasm, and I had plenty to say to him.

There are so many factors-and many unknowns-when it comes to female ejaculation. Every woman has a g-spot (also known as the urethral sponge), so, technically speaking, all women have the “equipment” to be able to do ejaculate. When stimulated, the tissue of the urethral sponge fills with blood, becomes engorged, and swells. The paraurethral glands surrounding the sponge fill with fluid and also swell. No one is sure why some women ejaculate often, some women do it occasionally, and some women never do. The majority of women achieve it through direct g-spot stimulation, but some can squirt via clitoral stimulation or anal penetration alone. When a woman is very aroused, (and especially when firm pressure is applied to her urethral sponge) the glands release the fluid through the urethra, and she ejaculates. The fluid is similar to fluid produced by a man’s prostate, and although it comes out the urethra, it is different from urine. The quantity of fluid and the way it comes out can also very widely. Some women produce a lot of fluid, others only a little; some gush like a fountain while others dribble. Many women fall in between the two ends of the spectrum, and, of course, some experience one or the other depending on the situation.

As we communicated, it was clear that the letter writer had a good grip on technique in terms of finding that spongy area about an inch and a half to two inches inside the pussy and using firm, deliberate motion with his fingers. I also encouraged him to get his girlfriend as turned on as possible before even starting to work her g-spot. The more aroused she is, the more her urethral sponge will swell and fill with fluid. Use a “come here” motion with fingers or a very firm toy (like one made of acrylic, glass, or metal) or act like you’re almost pulling down on the g-spot. If you’ve got something big inside her-four or more fingers, a large dildo, or your cock-you may have to pull out and switch to just two fingers. Something large can actually block the urethra and either prevent ejaculation or lessen its potential explosive delivery. The best way to get my ex-girlfriend to squirt was to fist her and work her g-spot with the knuckle of my thumb as I pumped my hand in and out of her pussy. But once she felt like she was going to squirt (and she knew, so she’d always tell me), I had to slide my hand out, and replace it with only a finger or two. Then, I’d basically press firmly on her g-spot and out the fluid would come!

My ex knew a lot about her own ejaculation process, what worked and what didn’t. But if the potential squirter is a novice, the first thing she needs to do is relax-as much as one can relax when they’re really turned on! Then she should bear down slightly as if she is trying to push something out of her pussy. This is one of the toughest things for women to do because many are afraid they’re going to pee. But bearing down will help push the fluid out the urethra. In fact, often, just before a woman is about to squirt, she has that urgent “I’ve gotta pee feeling” and she may also have this sense of overstimulation. Sometimes, both these feelings make her stop. Once it feels like too much, that’s often the edge of ejaculation, and if you keep going, then you’ll squirt.

Some experienced squirters say that once they squirt the first time, if they continue the stimulation, they can do it several times more. In fact, the first time I ever saw a woman ejaculate was at a sex party. I ran into my friend Kim in the bathroom. She was obviously fresh from some kind of escapade, and she said, “Dave made me gush like crazy!” I was curious, so she said, “Wanna see?” She grabbed me and dragged me out of the ladies’ room to a corner of one of the playrooms. She slipped two fingers inside her pussy and made herself ejaculate. “Once I start,” she said, “I can just keep going and going!”

So, I gave this guy some advice and information, but there was another point I really wanted to stress. This is important in the wake of the increased discussion about g-spot stimulation and female ejaculation in books, articles, and on the Web. Sometimes women feel like if they don’t enjoy this kind of stimulation or they can’t ejaculate, then they’ve failed in some way. I want to caution you about any kind of goal-oriented sex. I think it’s fun to explore new things, but it’s also important to value your sexuality as it is. Maybe this guy’s girlfriend will only ejaculate occasionally and maybe she’s a “leaker” or a “dribbler” rather than a geyser of gush. That may be just they way her body works. That’s okay. I don’t want any woman to feel pressure to perform in some way or to do something that doesn’t turn her on. Sometimes, we really buy into the whole bigger-is-better ideal and lose sight of the fact that our sexuality can be amazing just as it is.

Dec 112013
 

midori

This Friday the 13th is very lucky for us: Midori comes to Sex Out Loud to discuss rope bondage, sci-fi kink, dominance training, creative sex education, and fulfilling personal growth. She’ll discuss what makes protocols sexy and how you can increase your own confidence and transform your sex life. Tune in to find out why Midori was named the 2013 winner of Best Sex Educator, Best of San Francisco, by SF Weekly Magazine…and how you can plan your own visit to Planet Midori.

Sexuality educator, author and artist based in San Francisco, Midori has made an improbable career out of being the traveling coach on the art of creative and sensual living. Dubbed “the super nova of kink” by Dan Savage, Midori is known for her hilarious and practical classes on enhancing sexual fulfillment, boosting confidence and expanding personal growth. Native of Tokyo, Japan, she brings a unique perspective pleasure and authentic living. She wrote the first English language book on Shibari with “Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage“, the hot essays in “Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink“, and twisted dark science fiction in “Master Han’s Daughter“. In 2001 she founded Rope Bondage Dojo®. She has trained many cadres and leads many Dojos each year. She also created ForteFemme, a unique women’s dominance weekend training and empowerment intensive.

Recently she’s joined forces with Laura Antoniou in Passionate Bonds, a weekend intensive on creating effective and meaningful D/s M/s protocol and etiquette. 2013 Winner, Best Sex Educator in Best of San Francisco by SF Weekly Magazine. Awarded Pantheon Leather Woman of the Year 2003. Sainted by Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 2007. She creates provocative and haunting art installations and performances, seen in venues as far flung as Yerba Buena Center for the Arts (San Francisco) and Tanzquartier Wien (Vienna) She’s been long active in HIV fundraising through AIDS LifeCycle

Website: www.FHP-inc.com
Also find her at: Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Vine: @PlanetMidori
AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising: http://www.tofighthiv.org/

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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May 142013
 

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This Friday on Sex Out Loud at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET, we feature jessica drake: writer, director, producer and host of jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex. This series of educational DVDs from Wicked Pictures is inspired by her experiences and observations as one of the industry’s legendary Wicked Girls. She’ll talk about how she helps men and women become more sexually aware in Sex for the Wicked Woman, a series of seminars illuminated by her vast expertise and passion for research. With a lifetime of rigorous analysis coupled with years of peerless professional experience, jessica drake will also discuss her journey from a performer to one of the leading voices in progressive sexual education. This interview was recorded live in front of a studio audience at CatalystCon in Washington DC.

One of adult film’s most celebrated actresses, Wicked Pictures contract star jessica drake is making her mark as a sex educator by combining her passion for teaching sexual responsibility with her goal of helping couples discover their erotic potential. Uniting a lifetime of study with a decade’s worth of experiential research, this charming Texan is sharing her expertise with audiences around the globe in jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex. Each subject is explored with the same distinct blend of factual demonstration and good humor that has led Gawker Media’s Fleshbot to laud this three-time AVN Best Actress winner for bringing a “sexy, articulate and professional” voice to the sexual self-help genre. A source of sexual inspiration for the adult industry as well as society at large, jessica is also spearheading Wicked Pictures’ involvement in Adult Production Health & Safety Services, a program designed by the Free Speech Coalition to provide producers and performers with a reliable protocol and database for STI testing.

tristan1114 copy

Jan 182013
 

Ask Tristan logo450

[Ed. note: This question is a legal one, so I asked my awesome expert, Davis from Sexquire to answer it.]

So, I was just reading a Coyote L.A. article that talks about what Prostitution is defined as, and I noticed that one can
define Prostitution as masturbation for pay. Would that mean that webcam modeling could be included in that definition? Is there an exception for cam, because I am using my camera?

To be sure I was answering the right question, I did some research to find the Coyote LA article you mentioned. After reviewing it, I can see how the issue might still be a bit confusing. The answer to your question is most likely no, but let me add a few caveats before getting in to too much detail.

Caveat 1 –The article you cited discussed California laws regarding prostitution, and each state (and often city or town) has its own specific rules that govern what is/is not illegal there. I’m going to answer your question under California law, but if you’re wondering about another state, or even an area in California other than LA, you’ll need to do some additional research.

Caveat 2 – Some places don’t have very specific laws, and often whoever is in power (mayors, council persons, sheriffs) dictate what types of things are more vigorously pursued at any particular time. If you’re new to an area, be sure you learn about the prostitution and sex work laws that govern, but also find out a bit about the area’s political climate and whether local governmental authorities are particularly active in this area.

Caveat 3 – Your question was about prostitution laws, but obscenity laws may also govern cam or fetish video work. Just because a local government agent can’t fit what you’re doing into the definition of prostitution doesn’t mean you’re necessarily in the clear, as obscenity and “lewdness” laws vary quite a bit from state to state.

Okay, with all that being said, let’s dive into your question. The article you mentioned discussed how dancing nude and masturbating oneself might meet the definition of prostitution under California Penal Code Sec. 647 (which defines prostitution). The actual language of the law is long and confusing, but the article is correct that the law includes in its definition of prostitution “a lewd act for money or other consideration” which is “the touching of breast, buttocks or genitals for the purpose of sexual gratification or arousal.” The article goes on to say that since the law does not define WHO is doing the touching, that one who dances nude or masturbates oneself as part of their act could, if their customer achieves sexual gratification, be found to have committed an act of prostitution. However, your question was not about someone dancing nude or masturbating themselves in front of someone IN PERSON, it was about cam work, where you are far removed from, and indeed may not even have any information at all about, your client. And this is what, at least for now, removes cam work from the definition of prostitution. It does not take place between two persons in public or private, as the California statute states for every definition of prostitution. It may seem a bit fuzzy, but because you have the barrier of the computer, the internet and space/time between you and the person purchasing your services, it simply doesn’t fit the current definition of illegal sex work. Of course it may fit under a pornography or obscenity definition, and with the recent laws and referendums in California one never knows how laws may change, but for now, at least in California, cam work does not likely fit the definition of prostitution and to my knowledge, no cases have been pursued.

One final caveat though – despite not technically fitting the definition, nothing prevents local law enforcement from claiming that a particular act is illegal, so know that although a case would likely not prevail, an overzealous officer and prosecutor could certainly charge someone with prostitution simply for cam or other work. So be careful out there regardless of what your local law currently says.

~~~~~~

Davis is the founder of Sexquire, a complete sex-positive business services company. Davis is the legal arm of Sexquire, having advised brick and mortar sex toy stores, sex educators, sex workers and other sex positive business folk on all manner of legal issues for over 7 years.   In addition to legal matters, Sexquire also provides bookkeeping, accounting, personal assistance and other business services all with a sex-positive spin.  You can find them online at their website, as well as Twitter and Facebook.

Aug 242012
 

Urban Tantra® is a radically updated Tantra practice for modern sexual and spiritual explorers—it can be used anywhere and by everyone. Tantra is not only a sexual practice, it also is a sensuous way of life and a path to spiritual growth and fulfillment. On the Tantric path, pleasure, vision and ecstasy are celebrated and can be as available in everyday life as they are in peak sexual experiences. In this workshop, you’ll learn Tantric techniques for intense full-bodied orgasms, breath-and-energy orgasms, amazingly deep, heart-centered connections (with a partner or with yourself), and the bliss that comes when your spiritual and sexual paths are one.

This workshop is for both couples and singles. All genders and sexual preferences are welcome. There will be no nudity and no explicit sexual touch. There will be partnered practices in the afternoon. Singles will be paired, with consent. To be assured of working with a partner of your choice, come with a friend.

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century, a one-day workshop (10am – 5:50 pm) at the New York Open Center, 22 E.30th Street, New York,, NY 10016.

To register, call 212-219-2527 or online here.