Crazy But Cautious Over Glass Toys

May 012010
 

My girlfriend and I have both used Pyrex toys and love them. Our local store has a dildo for strap-ons that is made of blown glass. It sounds awesome but I was concerned about safety. Could it break or even shatter? Which glass toys are safe?

—Crazy but Cautious Over Glass

Dear Crazy but Cautious Over Glass:

Glass sex toys have gotten incredibly popular in the last few years, and it seems like they are everywhere. Glass toys can be easily cleaned and sterilized, since they’re non-porous, and they are compatible with all kinds of lube. Plus, there smooth texture feels amazing! But I agree that it’s difficult to tell if a glass toy is safe or not. “Blown glass” only describes how the toy was made (it was hand blown) not what kind of glass is made of. You should ask your local store or web retailer who made the toy before you purchase it and do some research on the company. Ultimately, you’re looking for a toy made of medical grade borosilicate glass or Pyrex, a brand name which has become synonymous with heat and shock resistant glass. A properly made toy of borosilicate glass can withstand up to 3,000 lbs. of pressure as well as extreme heat and cold. Certain well-established, reputable companies guarantee that their toys are made of Pyrex or borosilicate, including Phallix Glass, XXX Glass, XHale, and PyreXions. Babeland and Good Vibrations, and Glass Fantasy have a good selection of unique glass toys. To protect your glass toys, always clean them promptly and store them in a soft, padded bag to protect them. And if you ever find a nick, stop using the toy immediately.

Backdoor Fan

Sep 052005
 

My girlfriend has an insatiable appetite for sex. We often have it once a day, and, if not, she masturbates. We both enjoy anal stimulation and have a collection of varying size toys. However, my girl uses them daily. Can someone have too much anal sex or anal toy play? Is it okay to do it almost every day?

–Backdoor Fan

You’ve got one of those problems that lots of other readers wish for! It is absolutely safe to have anal penetration every day as long as you are doing it safely and responsibly. That means: plenty of warm-up, lots of lube, and stopping if you experience any pain. The key for your girlfriend is to listen to her body. As long as everything feels good, she doesn’t rush the process (which even experienced players can do), and she takes a break if she’s sore, she will be fine. Obviously, if she starts to experience anything significant, like cramping, bleeding, or discomfort, she needs to stop and see a doctor.

Tiny But Tempted

Jun 302005
 

My fiancé and I have been exploring BDSM, which we enjoy fully. He wants to have anal sex with me, and although it would be the first for me, I’m willing to try it out at least once. He does have a really big penis — gloriously big — and I’m concerned about the process as I’m a small woman. Is there anything I can do to prepare myself for him and make this enjoyable for both of us?

–Tiny But Tempted

Your physical size does not necessarily correlate with your ability to take a “gloriously big” cock up your ass. I’ve seen women who are five feet tall and 98 pounds with very large things comfortably nestled in their behinds. It’s more about your internal than your external size. Like the pussy, the ass has the ability to expand when you’re aroused. Plus, the rectum is longer than the vagina and therefore can usually accommodate something bigger.

However, since your guy is larger than average, it means that you’re going to have to work your way up slowly. And since it’s your very first anal adventure, his cock should not go into your ass all in one evening. Instead, I recommend that you begin playing with a finger or a slim toy either alone or with him. Use plenty of lube, go slowly, and stimulate your clit. When you’ve practiced a few times with the one finger/small toy, and it feels great, you can move on to two fingers or a slightly bigger toy. Again, you can play together or you can add anal play to your masturbation. The important thing is not to rush the process. Find a dildo that’s “one step down” from your man’s cock. When you’ve worked up to taking that dildo, and it’s comfortable and pleasurable, then you can try his cock. Make sure he goes very slowly, and that you give him lots of feedback about how it feels. If you both take your time and let your ass set the pace, it will reward you in the end!

Pumped Up

Mar 302005
 

My boyfriend and I recently discovered the pleasure of penis pumping, and I’m thinking of getting a vaginal pump. But lately I have been using my guy’s penis pump on my asshole, and I love the sensation and the feeling. I was wondering if you have ever done this, and if it is a safe practice?

–Pumped Up

Many men and women have discovered the joys of pumping. For readers who may not know about it, a penis pump works like this: your cock goes inside a hard plastic cylinder which either has a built-in pump or an external one. As you pump, air is sucked out of the cylinder, and the vacuum-like suction sends blood rushing to the cock. This helps the cock become erect, enhances an erection by giving it a bigger appearance (temporarily), and creates a sucking sensation which many men love. Women can use the same pumping mechanism with the nipple attachment (a much smaller cylinder), which works great on the clitoris. There are also pussy pumps on the market made especially for women. The same principles apply: blood rushes to the clit, making is more swollen (and often more sensitive) than usual. I’ve pumped my own clit, and find that not only is it hot to see my clit all fat and thick, but clitoral stimulation is a lot more intense after I’ve pumped.

I’ve never used a pump on my butthole. The puckered skin of the asshole is sensitive tissue that’s incredibly rich in nerve endings and gets engorged when you’re aroused much like the rest of our genitals. So, it makes sense that when you apply suction to it, blood rushes to the area and creates a pleasurable sensation. Similar cautions for all pumping apply: use a little lube inside the cylinder for a comfortable, easier fit; be careful not to pinch the delicate skin when inserting it into the cylinder; do not over-pump or leave the cylinder on for too long.

Woodstock Girl

Feb 272005
 

I love anal sex — much more than vaginal. I love the pressure just before the head pops in and that little ache as it does. What I am having problems with is that everything that goes in my ass seems too long. It feels almost like the dick or the toy is hitting something inside of me, and it hurts. I have a friend I play with and we do a lot of BDSM scenes, especially rape scenes and punishment-type scenes. He would like to see just how much my butt can take, and I do love the width of everything, especially the next day. Can you help me with the length problem?

–Woodstock Girl

Unlike the vagina, the rectum is not a straight tube. It has a gentle curve, first tipping forward toward the front of the body, then away, then forward again. Everyone’s curves are different, and some are more pronounced than others. As a result, if you stick anything straight inside the rectum, you can wind up hitting the rectal wall, which is not a good feeling for anyone. It sounds like that may be the sensation you described. Have your partner experiment with different positions and angles when he fucks you in the ass, and see if there’s one that allows for penetration without the pain. Toys made of flexible materials are more comfortable and bend easier with your curves; if a toy itself is curved, the curve should be aimed toward the front of the body. All that said, you can also have a short rectum. Since you get pleasure from wide toys, I say invest is some short but wide dildos or butt plugs — go with what works!

Ready to Blow Up

Feb 182005
 

Do you recommend using inflatable dildos to stretch the rectum?

–Ready to Blow Up

I don’t recommend anything to literally stretch the rectum. Toys are a great tool to teach the ass to relax and open up, to get it accustomed to being penetrated, and to warm up for more. It’s not stretching as much as it’s expanding, since the rectum has the ability expand when a person is turned on and relaxed. Inflatable dildos and butt plugs are a fun toy to play with, and they are also a great way to gradually increase the width of a toy you can take in your ass without investing in a new one. Make sure you inflate the toy before you put it in your ass to measure its limit, then you can gradually work your way up from one pump to several pumps!

Size Queen

Dec 152004
 

I started doing anal play about ten years ago. It was somewhat uncomfortable, but I persisted. Well, my persistence paid off. I am now able to take a dildo about 10 inches long and about 7.5 inches in circumference. I thoroughly enjoy it, but I have a question about how deep you can go. I tried inserting it to about 12 inches, and I got it worked in, but after about five minutes, I removed it, and there was blood. It shook me up big time. It stopped immediately, but I didn’t insert anything for week for fear of starting something I couldn’t stop. I felt no pain and it felt good. Is the blood a big deal?

–Size Queen

Since the rectum is quite delicate and covered by mucous membrane, even the gentlest of penetration with the smallest of toys can cause a small tear and a little bit of blood. It’s usually not cause for concern as long as the amount of blood is small and there’s no serious pain or discomfort. However, in your case, you’re using very long, thick toys for penetration that give you more of a chance of causing an abrasion or tear; you must realize that a twelve-inch dildo or one that is nearly eight inches thick is huge and not common. When you penetrate your ass with something longer than about ten inches, you move beyond the rectum into the sigmoid colon, which is made up of fragile tissues. Technically, anything bigger than 10 inches could perforate this, especially if it’s inflexible. Plus, an extremely thick dildo can stress the rectal lining. My advice is that at the first sign of blood, you should stop immediately and give your ass a few days to recover. If these big dildos continue to make you bleed, then I suggest you select smaller ones.

Wanting But Wondering

Nov 202004
 

I’m a guy, I like women, and I’ve never been attracted in any way to men. I want to try anal sex (with me on the receiving end) with dildos and even a strap-on. Does this action means I am gay? I have heard that men can have orgasms by prostate manipulation. How would my wife be able to do this to me? Is there a specific method or do I just hope that she does it right?

–Wanting But Wondering

The idea that men who like getting it up the butt are gay is absolutely a myth, one fueled by our society’s homophobia and misconceptions about anal pleasure. Plenty of heterosexual men enjoy receiving anal pleasure, whether with tongues, fingers, or toys. As I’ve said before, anal sex can be an incredibly powerful experience, but it’s not powerful enough to change your sexual orientation! I think that men who enjoy strap-on action especially have anxiety because of the implication that they are getting fucked by a cock, whether it’s silicone or not. The truth is that it feels good, and when you turn around, you want a woman on the other end of that cock.

Men can definitely have orgasms through anal penetration. The prostate gland is about an inch to an inch and a half inside the rectum on the front wall. So, if your wife slips her finger inside and heads toward the front of your body, she’ll find an area (about the size of a walnut) that feels differently textured than the rest of the rectal wall. She should gently rub the spot as you give her feedback about how it feels. Every guy is different, so your communication is critical to helping her stimulate you in exactly the way you want. As you get more aroused, the prostate will swell and become more sensitive. For prostate stimulation with a dildo (whether strapped on or in her hand), select a curved toy and make sure the curve is always toward the front of your body. Some guys like to have their cocks and balls played with, others want anal play alone — that’s something for the two of you to experiment with.

Burned Butt

Jul 282004
 

I’ve had a black vinyl butt plug for two years and I think that a chemical film or something has developed on the surface that makes it burn when I insert it into my girlfriend’s ass. Would an automotive-type vinyl restorer make my butt toys last longer?

–Burned Butt

Latex rubber, jelly rubber, and vinyl sex toys are inexpensive for a reason: they do not last forever. I recommend that folks replace toys made of these materials after twelve months for the exact reason you report: the material starts to break down, and often causes stinging, burning, itching, and other discomfort when used.

No, a vinyl restorer sold in automotive supply stories is not a good idea; not only will it not help stop the toy from deteriorating, but you do not want any product like that (or traces of it) in your ass! Throw the toy and buy a new one, or, for your next purchase, try a higher quality silicone toy. Silicone can be much more pricey, but it’s also a lot more resilient. My silicone toys have lasted for many years, and some brands even come with lifetime guarantees.

Wanting More

Jun 032004
 

As long as we do lots of foreplay and my body is prepared, I don’t have a problem with pain during anal penetration. However, after about four inches of cock in my ass, I get abdominal pain that I can’t get past, no matter how relaxed or aroused I am. We’ve tried changing positions, but no matter what, it’s as if there is a road block. This is frustrating for me, and I know that for my husband, who wants his balls to slap my pussy on the downswing, it has to be downright maddening. I asked a girlfriend who’s into anal if she had ever experienced this, and she says that around the seven inch mark, her guy seems to hit a wall. Is it possible that there is a sharp bend that is preventing full penetration? Is there a technique to get around the discomfort I am experiencing? Swing to the left? Swing to the right?

–Wanting More

The first two inches inside the anus is called the anal canal, and the rectum is the area from the anal canal to the colon, which is another five to seven inches. Unlike the vagina, where you’ve got a pretty straight shot from end to end, the rectum is curved. That’s especially important to know when penetrating someone’s ass with anything longer than a finger, and especially with a dildo or vibrator that is firm and inflexible (like one made of hard plastic, clear acrylic, or glass). If you jam something (especially something rock hard) straight inside you can absolutely hit the rectal wall, which does not feel good. As you get more turned on, the rectum expands, and the curves are less pronounced, but they are still present.

So, the “four inch” stopping point you describe could correspond with the first curve of the rectum, when it curves toward the front of the body. Everyone’s internal geography is unique, and it’s possible that your rectum is more curvy than others. I’ve heard people report similar feelings of facing a roadblock inside their asses.

You’ve already tried changing positions, which would be my first suggestion. I suggest that you pick a long, very flexible toy, and, while masturbating, begin exploring your ass with it. Take note of the curve of the rectum, what feels good and what doesn’t, and if you can find your roadblock, or if you develop discomfort. Experiment with moving the toy forward or back inside of you to see if that changes anything. If you can find the trouble spot, see if you can move past it or around it, again, by moving it toward the front of the body or toward the back. If you are still experiencing problems, I suggest you talk to your doctor about it and have a rectal exam.

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