I’m a 21 year old male anal sex lover. First off, I’d like to say that I respect your work a lot. It’s awesome that a woman like you does so much work to turn women on to accepting anal pleasure. With that said, here’s my dilemma. My girlfriend loves anal pleasure, but cannot handle it. When I finger her asshole, and or touch her pussy at all, she says it’s too much. She has to stop me because she says it feels too good, and that she can’t handle it. It is because of this we have never gotten past the two-finger mark. But she wants to have my cock in her ass, and, of course, so do I! I just recently ordered her some new toys, but my question is how can I get my girlfriend to relax? We think we have tried everything short of drugs, which we don’t want to try. How can I get my girlfriend to give in to the pleasure and loosen up? We both really want to get my cock into her ass without hurting her!
–Fellow Anal Lover
The ass is an incredibly sensitive erogenous zone, so it’s not surprising that some women can find anal stimulation or penetration too intense. Believe it or not, the more aroused your girlfriend gets, the more stimulation she’ll be able to take; blood will rush to her genitals and the entire area will get swollen and be more receptive to pleasure. Try to bring her close to orgasm before you play with her ass, and see if she responds any differently. If anal play still feels overwhelming to her, than you may want to investigate the situation further. Sometimes when a person is super-sensitive during sex, there may be an emotional component at work. One more tip: there are a few steps between the two-finger mark and your cock. One of the most common mistakes people make is that they rush penetration which leads to discomfort or pain. If you make it to a pleasurable two fingers, try adding a well-lubed third or try a small butt plug or dildo. When that feels great — and not before — you can consider your cock.