Nov 202004

I’m a guy, I like women, and I’ve never been attracted in any way to men. I want to try anal sex (with me on the receiving end) with dildos and even a strap-on. Does this action means I am gay? I have heard that men can have orgasms by prostate manipulation. How would my wife be able to do this to me? Is there a specific method or do I just hope that she does it right?

–Wanting But Wondering

The idea that men who like getting it up the butt are gay is absolutely a myth, one fueled by our society’s homophobia and misconceptions about anal pleasure. Plenty of heterosexual men enjoy receiving anal pleasure, whether with tongues, fingers, or toys. As I’ve said before, anal sex can be an incredibly powerful experience, but it’s not powerful enough to change your sexual orientation! I think that men who enjoy strap-on action especially have anxiety because of the implication that they are getting fucked by a cock, whether it’s silicone or not. The truth is that it feels good, and when you turn around, you want a woman on the other end of that cock.

Men can definitely have orgasms through anal penetration. The prostate gland is about an inch to an inch and a half inside the rectum on the front wall. So, if your wife slips her finger inside and heads toward the front of your body, she’ll find an area (about the size of a walnut) that feels differently textured than the rest of the rectal wall. She should gently rub the spot as you give her feedback about how it feels. Every guy is different, so your communication is critical to helping her stimulate you in exactly the way you want. As you get more aroused, the prostate will swell and become more sensitive. For prostate stimulation with a dildo (whether strapped on or in her hand), select a curved toy and make sure the curve is always toward the front of your body. Some guys like to have their cocks and balls played with, others want anal play alone — that’s something for the two of you to experiment with.

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