Aug 282015
 
shinelouisehouston

Photo by: N. Maxwell Lander

I welcome back to the show Shine Louise Houston, the founding producer and director of Pink & White Productions, who is currently finishing her latest erotic thriller, SNAPSHOT. Written and directed by Houston, SNAPSHOT draws inspiration from film classics such as Hitchcock’s Rear Window and Antonioni’s Blow Up, featuring a diverse cast and intimate portrayals of queer sex in Houston’s signature cinematic style. We’ll also discuss how she’s telling a different kind of coming out story with her work and also share stories from working with the leads Beretta James, Chocolate Chip, & Lyric Seal.

Tune in to Sex Out Loud this Friday, August 28th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. This week’s show is LIVE so call in to Voice America with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Twitter @SexOutLoudRadio, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com!

As the founding producer and director of Pink and White Productions, (CrashPadSeries.com, PinkLabel.tv), SHINE LOUISE HOUSTON has always had unique vision. Graduating from San Francisco Arts Institute with a Bachelors in Fine Art Film, her works have become the new gold standard of adult cinema. During a five year position at the women-owned, sex toy purveyor Good Vibrations, Shine recognized an underserved demand for an alternative to mainstream pornography, and began to create well-crafted queer made porn. Shine’s films have been recognized among the next big wave of women produced porn and have been internationally screened from Amsterdam to New Zealand. 2015 marks the 10th anniversary of Shine’s work. This year she was honored with the “Sylvester Pride in the Arts” Award by the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club, receiving a Certificate of Recognition from the State of California Legislature Assembly. Shine’s upcoming film SNAPSHOT is an erotic thriller staring queer women of color.
Aug 132015
 

Jane-Ward

This week I welcome professor and author Jane Ward to Sex Out Loud this week to discuss her brand new book Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men. From the military to fraternities to Craigslist, they talk about the numerous sites where white heterosexual men have sex with other men and what it means for the hetero/homo binary, queer politics, race, sexual identity, and the overlooked sexual complexity of straight men. She makes the case about why this matters and how it has broad implications for everyone, whether straight or gay.

Tune in Friday, August 14 at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET to hear this show premiere. Join the discussion on Twitter where we livetweet every week. Sex Out Loud air every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com. If you missed any part of the episode or want to listen again, you can listen to every episode on demand here.

Jane Ward is associate professor of Gender and Sexuality Studies at UCR, where she teaches courses in feminist, queer, and heterosexuality studies. She has published on a broad range of topics including: feminist pornography; queer parenting; gay pride festivals; gay marriage campaigns; transgender relationships; the social construction of heterosexuality; the failure of diversity programs; and the evolution of HIV/AIDS organizations. Her first book, Respectably Queer: Diversity Culture in LGBT Activist Organizations was named by The Progressive magazine as a best book of 2008. Her second book, forthcoming with NYU Press, is titled Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men. Titles of some of Jane Ward’s recent articles demonstrate her provocative style: “Get Your Gender Binary Off My Childhood!: Towards a Movement for Children’s Gender Self-Determination;” “Radical Experiments Involving Innocent Children: Locating Parenthood in Queer Utopia,” and “Queer Feminist Pigs: A Spectator’s Manifesta.” Professor Ward is founder of the feminist blog FeministPigs.com and cofounder, along with CJ Pascoe and Tey Meadow, of SocialInqueery.com. She cofounded the queer burlesque troupe “The Miracle Whips” in 2004 and founded the parenting collective “L.A. Genderqueer Parenting” in 2009, both based in Los Angeles. She is also a baker, an urban gardener, and a parent to one human child, four cats, and eight chickens.

Jul 152015
 

highres-julia11

Excluded_printThis Friday, July 17th at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT on Sex Out Loud, listen to my interview with a true Renaissance woman: writer, performer, activist, musician, and biologist Julia Serano. In 2007 Serano released Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and Scapegoating of Femininity, a collection of personal essays that reveal how misogyny frames popular assumptions about femininity, and shapes many of the myths and misconceptions people have about trans women. Her second book, Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive, was released in 2013. We talk about both books, how her work as a biological scientist has informed her writing, and what we can do to make queer feminist spaces more inclusive.

Tune in Friday, July 17th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. Join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com.

highres-juliamic03Julia Serano is an Oakland, California-based writer, performer, and activist. She is best known for her 2007 book Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity — The Advocate placed it on their list of “Best Non-Fiction Transgender Books,” and readers of Ms. Magazine ranked it #16 on their list of the “100 Best Non-Fiction Books of All Time.” Her second book, Excluded: Making Feminist and Queer Movements More Inclusive, also garnered rave reviews and was a Publishing Triangle finalist for the 2013 Judy Grahn Award for Lesbian Nonfiction. Julia’s other writings have appeared in over a dozen anthologies, and in magazines and news outlets such as The Guardian, The Daily Beast, AlterNet.org, The Advocate, Out, Bitch, and Ms. Magazine. Her writings have also been used as teaching materials in gender and queer studies courses across North America.

Jun 242015
 

E Patrick Johnson

This week features my interview with scholar, writer & performer Dr. E. Patrick Johnson, author of Sweet Tea: Black Gay Men of the South, a collection of life stories from black gay men who were born, raised, and continue to live in the southern United States. Traveling to every southern state, Johnson conducted interviews with more than seventy black gay men between the ages 19 and 93. He adapted his book into a hit one-person show, including a recent run in Chicago presented by Project&. With complexity and raw emotion, Sweet Tea humanizes a community often forced to the outskirts of society. Poignant and often heart-wrenching, Johnson reinforces the spoken-word tradition while challenging stereotypes and finding humor, humanity and hope within. “Sweet Tea is not a show fixed in history,” says Jane M. Saks, Project& President and Artistic Director, “it is a production of this moment, lending its voice to the necessary global conversations around race, sexuality and identity.”

Tune in to the show on Friday, June 26th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. Join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter. Sex Out Loud airs every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com.

E. Patrick Johnson is the Carlos Montezuma Professor of Performance Studies and African American Studies at Northwestern University. He is also a Project& artist. He is the author of Appropriating Blackness: Performance and the Politics of Authenticity and Sweet Tea: Black Gay Men of the South—An Oral History. He is the editor of Cultural Struggles: Performance, Ethnography, Praxis by Dwight Conquergood and co-editor (with Mae G. Henderson) of Black Queer Studies—A Critical Anthology and (with Ramon Rivera-Servera) of solo/black/woman: scripts, interviews, and essays and Blaktino Queer Performance. In 2009, he translated Sweet Tea into a full-length stage play, Sweet Tea—The Play. The show has been co-produced by Jane M. Saks and Project& with the following theaters: About Face Theater (Chicago); Signature Theatre (Arlington, VA); Durham Arts Council (Durham, NC); Towne Street Theater (Los Angeles), and the Wirtz Center for the Performing Arts at Northwestern University.

Jun 152015
 

AMOROUS REVOLT

AR new logo
Amorous Revolt
is a brand new Queer Camping event happening from July 31-August 2, 2015. This event is designed by queer people for queer people to build and foster intentional communities for support, education and play. Amorous Revolt features skillshares and workshops including kink, crafts, health, life skills and spirituality, as well as networking events, dance parties, and performances.

In an effort to make the event as accessible as possible, we have an organized rideshare system, ASL interpreters, 24/7 medical staff, and an emotional support space. We also have community organized cabin, play and workshop spaces for People of Color, Transgender/Gender Nonconforming People, Sober folks, and Neurodiverse folks.

Please join us at the first ever Amorous Revolt July 31-August 2, 2015 at Ramblewood in Darlington, Maryland. For more information visit our site or join us on Fetlife, Facebook, and Twitter.

ALSO in JULY….

hearts
In Dallas, Texas on July 24 2015, PolyDallas2015 is hosting the Affirming Polyamorous and Non-Monogamous Relationship Symposium. It is being held at the office of Vantage Point Counseling Services. This is the first symposium, with a primary focus on polyamorous relationship and family structure, to be held in the Dallas/Fort Worth [DFW] area. Co-Presenters Ruby B Johnson and Shawn Chrisman hope to contribute to the knowledge base of mental health practitioners and other community providers. For those attendees who are not in the DFW area, this symposium is offered as a live webinar stream.

Polyamorous and Non-Monogamous relationships have become more visible over the last decade. The way individuals, in their 20s to early 30s (Millennials), are relating, connecting, attracting, and permitting themselves to have non-traditional relationships is creating a more sex positive and dynamic relationship structure. However, Generation X proves to have a different experience and expectation of relationships and their structure.

Hence the exposure, experience, and knowledge base of these different relationships is mysterious to many mental health and substance abuse providers within the community. Demystifying and educating providers is key to providing a conducive non-shaming therapeutic environment. Providing knowledge is a practice of cultural competence; infusing cultural humility into practice creates authenticity and positive regard within the clinician.

To support these principles of the helping relationship, the content richly addresses definitions of polyamory and non-monogamy, coupled with a graph which offers a visual aid for attendees. Heteronormative and monogamous privilege is exposed as well as how those forms of privilege create challenges to provider’s beliefs, values, and norms of relationships. To assist with unpacking privilege, myths and misconceptions of these relationships are debunked. Next, the focus shifts to the therapist and other helping professionals.

With each one of the tenets of cultural humility, solutions, techniques, and suggestions for change are offered that include (not limited to) unconscious bias, racial bias, counter transference, professional boundaries, dual relationships, microaggressions,, social, political, economic bias, sex positivity versus sex addiction, and intellectual privilege (Dunning-Kruger Effect).

Certain theories have been shown to assist with effective practice such as systems, constructivism, Bowenian, feminist, and gender queer. Techniques such as the genogram, gender/relationship inclusive assessments, narrative versus structured assessment, collaborative (with client) treatment planning and interventions, including considerations for cultural, social, community, and services barriers. Additionally, one must be aware of community resources and support.

Please follow us on Twitter @polydallas2015.

Presenters:

Ruby B Johnson (LMSW, LCDC, SAP, CSAT Candidate) received her Bachelors of Social Work in 2003 from Texas Women’s University and her Masters of Social Work in 2005 from the University of Texas at Arlington. Since 2003, Ruby’s roles have included clinical practitioner, community and professional development educator, and graduate and under graduate adjunct professor. In private practice, her areas of expertise are substance use disorders, sex addiction, intimacy and love addiction, multi-cultural families and couples, SOGIE, polyamorous/non monogamous partnerships/families, and Kink/BDSM. Ruby Johnson provides therapeutic support, care, and intervention with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender variant/non-binary, queer, and same gender loving communities. Currently, Ruby is in private practice at Vantage Point Counseling Services and Inamorata LLC.

She has presented at several national, state, and local conferences including Society of Social Work Research Conference, Council of Social Work Education Conference, DFW Behavioral Health Symposium, and, most recently, her proposals were accepted at The State Texas Association of Addiction Professionals Conference and Black Families, Black Relationships, and Black Sexuality Conference in Philadelphia. Ruby is a member of various professional organizations including Texas Association of Addiction Professionals [TAAP], Association of Addiction Professionals [NAADAC], International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals [IITAP], American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists [AASECT], Society for Advancement of Sexual Health [SASH] and most recently, Association of Black Sexologists and Clinicians [ABSC].

Shawn Chrisman (MS, LPC, PhD Candidate) is currently a practicing Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas.  He received his clinical training with a Master’s in Counseling from Southern Methodist University, and is currently working towards his doctorate degree in Human Sexuality from Widener University.

Shawn works with individuals and couples on sexuality-related issues, including addressing intimacy, sexual identity, gender dysphoria, sexual dysfunctions and other concerns.  Shawn also identifies as a kink-aware therapist and works with couples enjoying diverse relationship structures, such as open or polyamorous relationships.  Shawn is an active member of American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS).  He has also presented workshops for professionals and community members at local universities and organizations. Shawn has been published in Qualitative Health Research.

Jun 052015
 

bianca

This week on Sex Out Loud I am live with award-winning sex educator, writer, scholar, and activist, Bianca Laureano who is the co-founder of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN); co-founder of The LatiNegr@s Project, and co-director of the film BLACK PERVERT. We talk about her journey to field of sexual education, coalition building among educators, the creation of WOCSHN, and her upcoming documentary project on race, kink, and community. We’ll also discuss negative and harmful stereotypes about community, culture, and sexuality and how she works to challenge them.

Tune in to Sex Out Loud this Friday, June 5th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. This week’s show is LIVE so call in to Voice America with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com!

Bianca I Laureano is a first generation Puerto Rican who was born and raised in the Washington, DC metro area. The oldest daughter of an artist and educator, Bianca was raised in an activist environment that valued art in all its various and dynamic forms. At the beginning of high school Bianca’s parents encouraged her to become active in a youth led program called Raising Hispanic Academic Achievement, Inc. (RHAA), where she tutored and mentored Latin@ youth in the Washington, DC metro area. Bianca has been mentoring a young woman, Candy, for 17 years. Through RHAA Bianca developed critical skills and training as positive youth development was central to the program. Beginning as a tutor with RHAA, Bianca quickly became a part of the youth leadership and began assisting with program planning. She not only tutored and mentored on Saturday mornings, she arranged guest speakers, field trips and eventually co-led the all-female Saturday School in Silver Spring, MD, where the focus was on providing Latinas a space of their own to excel and find affirmation.

Bianca attended the University of Maryland, College Park (UM) and graduated in 2000 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Individual Studies: Women’s Health and Latino Communities. While at UM Bianca was active in peer education and mentoring programs through the University Health Center and became the Assistant Coordinator for Sexual Health Programs. The summer of 2000 she spent in Xhualtez, Espita in the Yucatan working with one of the first government funded health centers that provides western trained physicians and indigenous Mayan healers as a part of holistic health care. Upon her return she attended New York University and received her Master of Arts degree in Human Sexuality Education in 2002.

After spending one year with the Child Welfare League of America as the Program Manager of Adolescent Sexuality, Pregnancy Prevention and Parenting, Bianca began working on her second Master of Arts degree at the University of Maryland, College Park in the Department of Women’s Studies. Bianca’s research areas include Latina feminisms, Puerto Rican studies, sexuality, youth and media culture. Her training in feminist theory and intersectionality were developed at the Consortium on Race, Gender & Ethnicity where she was a CrISP Fellow. In 2006 Bianca received her second Master of Arts degree in Women’s Studies where her focus included race and racialization, bodies, gender, and sexualities.

While at the UM, Bianca continued to be involved in direct action and activism with a grassroots not-for-profit organization called Visions in Feminism (ViF). ViF is a collective of activists who work to create a low-cost, accessible national conference devoted to creating a space to discuss complex topics facing modern feminism. During her last year in the Washington, DC metro area, Bianca became involved with a group of young professional women who were all devoted to eliminating cervical cancer through HPV education. Bianca became the Director of Sexual Health for Tamika and Friends, Inc., (T&F) in 2005 and worked to create peer education handbooks and training’s for people interested in having HPV (House Parties of fiVe) parties. T&F is one of the first organizations to focus on educating men and youth regarding HPV and cervical cancer and that provides technical assistance and survivor support.

Bianca is co-founder of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN) and manages the WOCSHN tumblr page and social media/communication efforts; co-founder of The LatiNegr@s Project, and co-director of the film BLACK PERVERT.

Currently residing in New York City, Bianca lives in the Bronx and provides consultation, capacity building and training, and facilitation to organizations dedicated to helping youth reach their full potential. She enjoys live music and concerts, the independent movie scene, museums, a good flea market, traveling, reading, dancing to dope beats, the beach, and is a fierce karaoke performer.

Bianca has published one book and several articles. She has presented both locally and internationally on various topics concerning activism, Latin@ sexual health, feminisms, youth and Hip-Hop culture, Latin@s and race, curriculum development, and teaching. An award-winning sexologist, Bianca was awarded the 2010 Mujeres Destacadas Award by El Diario/La Prensa for her work in sexuality and Latin@ communities. Bianca is an instructor at a private college, a freelance writer, abortion doula, and radical educator.

May 272015
 

cover

For five years, Cooper S. Beckett has written for the website Life on the Swingset. Now he has collected personal essays, stories, erotica, and prescriptive “how-tos” into this memoir of his life on The Swingset. Beckett may be biased when it comes to swinging, polyamory, and other forms of ethical non-monogamy, but he doesn’t sugar-coat it. He speaks honestly and earnestly about a unique way to live life, one that allows for sexual and loving growth and experimentation and a strong sense of community. This week we’ll talk social anxiety and shyness, recognizing the importance of touch in life, evolving feelings about love and expectations, having threesomes, orgies, and prostate orgasms, going through a divorce, and leveling up in life and sexuality.

Tune in to Sex Out Loud this Friday, May 29th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. This week’s show is LIVE so call in to Voice America with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com!

cooper beckettAuthor of My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory, creator and host of Life on the Swingset, a website and podcast by and for the sexually open. In addition to writing for the site and hosting the weekly podcast about sexuality and non-monogamy, Cooper Beckett travels the globe throwing play parties and teaching classes to help people open themselves up and color outside the lines of their sexuality.

May 192015
 

siouxsie q

This Friday, Siouxsie Q talks to Sex Out Loud about growing up, her family, how she became a sex worker, and her experiences in the industry. We explore sex work labor issues and how sex work is often exceptionalized and set apart from other work; the tackle the thorny issues around authenticity in feminist porn. we discuss sex worker rights and activism and discuss her popular podcast The Whorecast, which showcases the stories, art, and voices of American sex workers. We also talk about the intersections between sex work and BDSM. Recorded live at International Ms. Leather 2015 in San Jose, CA.

Tune in Friday, May 22 at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. Join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com.

Siouxsie Q is the creator and host of the acclaimed podcast, The WhoreCast, which showcases the stories art and voices of American sex workers. As an active sex worker herself Siouxsie Q is committed to fighting for sex worker rights and ending exploitation within the industry. Her column, “The Whore Next Door” runs every week in the San Francisco Weekly, and she also writes for Eros Media, and Ratter.com. When not feverishly writing or rushing to her next interview for CNN, Wired Magazine, or USA Today, Siouxsie Q teaches classes on non-monogamy with her co-host and fiancée Jesse James, hosts a Game of Thrones podcast called, “Winter is Coming On Your Face,” and stars in feminist, fetish and mainstream porn, which garnered her an 2015 AVN nomination for Best All Girl Group Sex Scene. Fighting for Truth, Justice, and the American Whore is what Siouxsie was born to do, but she’ll happily talk baseball, BDSM, and Broadway musicals with you if prompted.

May 062015
 

photo

This week’s episode is a necessary conversation on a complex topic. Angel, Brecklyn, and Mollena Williams discuss race, racism, and various issues that Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC) face in BDSM communities. They tackle the controversy surrounding International Ms. Leather 2015, inclusivity in the kink world, how social media has changed the way we talk about race, the concept of colorblindness, practical advice for white allies, and “the luxury of discomfort.” Recorded live at International Ms. Leather 2015 in San Jose.

Tune in Friday, May 8 at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. Join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com.

Angel is a trans gender defiant queer, whose passion lies in educating, advocating and coaching folks to sexual and intimate fulfillment. Angel is committed to social justice and a fully realized and intersectional sex positivity.

Brecklyn is an East Coast-raised stone butch dyke and boy. He’s been active in the leather and kink community over the past 5 years and outside that has facilitated workshops on topics including anti-oppression, trauma, and organic farming. He especially likes to connect with other queer and trans people of color and can be reached on FetLife at theory_nowpractice.

Mollena-Rope

photo by Don Sir Photography

Owned by “Herr Meister,” (her beloved Maestro, an internationally acclaimed composer) Mollena Williams currently serves as Muse and slave in his heart and home. For her part, she’s an award-winning, critically acclaimed writer, actress, BDSM Educator, and storyteller. She is author of The Toybag Guide: Taboo Play and co-author of Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities. Her perspectives on BDSM are frequently sought after by news sources such as The New York Times, The Huffington Post, Newsweek, Essence, and Ebony, and is a frequent guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast.

Her essays appear in Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Sex and a bunch of the Best Sex Writing books. She’s a featured educator with KinkAcademy.com. Her award-winning experimental short BDSM film “IMPACT” debuted at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts and has screened in the USA, Canada, Europe and Australia in Cinekink 2013, as well as indie film festivals across North America, Europe and Australia.

She is International Ms. Leather 2010 and Ms. SF Leather 2009, was honored with the 2012 Jack McGeorge Award for Excellence in Education in BDSM, and is thrilled to have won the National Leather Association’s 2011 and 2012 Cynthia Slater Non-Fiction Article Award and shared the 2013 Geoff Mains Non-Fiction book award for Playing Well with Others.

Apr 302015
 

come as you are

This week on Sex Out Loud I talk live with Emily Nagoski, sex educator, writer, researcher, and one of the best sex question answerers I know! Her latest book, Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, is a New York Times bestseller and you’ll learn so much this essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works. We’ll discuss the biological and psychological factors that influence our sexuality and how you can shape them intentionally to create better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.

Tune in Friday, May 1st at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. This week’s show is LIVE so call in to Voice America with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air. Tune in to Sex Out Loud every Friday, you can listen along on your computer, tablet, or phone, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com!

emily nagoskiSex educator, author, research and activist Emily Nagoski has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a Master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She also has a B.A. in Psychology, with minors in cognitive science and philosophy, from the University of Delaware. While at IU, Emily worked as an educator and docent at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex Gender and Reproduction. She also taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education. She is the author of three guides for Ian Kerner’s GoodInBed.com: The Good in Bed Guide to Orally Pleasuring a Man, The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, and A Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships, and the New York Times bestseller, Come as You Are: the surprising new science that will transform your sex life. A sex nerd among sex nerds, Emily has the lowest Erdős number of any sex educator in the world. She lives in western Massachusetts with two dogs, two cats, and a cartoonist.