Jul 162014
 

James Deen

Kelly Shibari

This week’s episode of Sex Out Loud features TWO of today’s hottest performers in the adult industry. You know James Deen from the 4,000 scenes he’s performed in, his appearance in the mainstream film “The Canyons” or perhaps his internet series “James Deen Loves Food.” I talk with Deen about his popularity and why he’s so good at his job. Then, Kelly Shibari is on live talking about her recent Penthouse Forum cover shoot, her appearance on Margaret Cho’d podcast, and what’s next for the stereotype-breaking tour-de-force. Tune in this Friday July 18th at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT to catch this episode live, you don’t want to miss it! Listen on your phone, computer, or tablet, find all the ways at SexOutLoudRadio.com. My interview with James Deen was pre-recorded, but you can call in with questions and comments for Kelly Shibari at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air.

Since the age of 18, James Deen’s boy-next-door good looks helped him carve out a niche within the adult industry. Over 4,000 scenes later and Deen is now considered the top male porn star in the world. Deen is the youngest ever to earn Male Performer of the Year honors at the AVN, XBIZ, and XRCO awards shows. He is highly lauded within the adult industry with numerous award wins steadily throughout his career. Deen’s accomplishments extend far beyond the adult industry, with mainstream reporters chronicling his popularity as he continues to break down societal barriers. Popular female-oriented website Jezebel.com often reports on Deen’s large female fan-base, calling him the “permanent crush of all straight ladydom.” In 2012, Hollywood screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis and director Paul Schrader cast Deen opposite Lindsay Lohan in the feature film “The Canyons” which premiered internationally at the Venice Film Festival with Deen in attendance.

From her background in design and construction in mainstream film and television production, to performing in front of the camera as the sexually charged figurehead for chubby Asian girls everywhere, Kelly Shibari is a stereotype-breaking tour-de-force. Holding the distinct honor of being the only plus-sized performer ever molded for a Fleshlight, Kelly is also the face of harness company SpareParts Hardwear®’s plus size line, and made sexy pop culture media site Fleshbot’s Top Ten Crush Object List for 2013. Her self-produced, self-marketed DVD, Kelly Shibari is Overloaded, was nominated for both XBIZ and AVN, not just for the DVD itself but also for its marketing campaign. Kelly was named 2013 BBW Performer of the Year at EXXXOTICA’s fan-based awards, “The Fannys,” and also named Best BBW Performer at the 2013 NightMoves Awards. Most recently, Kelly made history as the first-ever plus size model ever to grace the cover of Penthouse Magazine’s Penthouse Forum.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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Jul 092014
 

candida royalle

candida royalleThis Friday, July 11th at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT on Sex Out Loud, I welcome back author, visionary, and entrepreneur Candida Royalle. Candida will discuss her newest project with award-winning Canadian filmmaker Sheona McDonald, “While You Were Gone: the Untold Story of Candida Royalle“, as well as the unprecedented longevity of the sales of her Femme film line; the three new products from her sex toy line, Natural Contours, coming out in a few months; and how she’s helping release and distribute the work of other women, beginning with filmmaker Petra Joy. Jane Hamilton (aka Veronica Hart) will also join the conversation with Royalle to discuss how they both recently received a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality for their life’s work. After a long and distinguished career in adult movies, working on both sides of the camera, Jane Hamilton now uses her expertise to educate women in the U.S. and China on issues of pleasure, aging and self-esteem.

This week’s show is LIVE. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air.

In 1984, Candida Royalle came up with the idea to produce adult erotica from a woman’s perspective. The mainstream porn industry scoffed at the idea, claiming “It can’t be done.” This only fuelled her determination.

She knew they were wrong.

Three decades later, her line of 18 features continues to bring in sales revenues and Candida Royalle is hailed as a pioneer in women’s erotica.

As Royalle’s work grew in popularity, she became a media darling, appearing on talk shows from Phil Donahue to Anderson Cooper to Tyra Banks; and written up across the globe – the Times of London, the New York Times, Time Magazine, Glamour, Marie Claire – too many to list.

The international sexology community embraced her work for its egalitarian depiction of “positive sexual role modeling” and she was the first adult film producer to be invited in to membership by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counsellors and Therapists (AASECT). She’s become a sought-after speaker, lecturing at the Smithsonian Institute, the American Psychiatric Association’s national conference, the World Congress on Sexology, and many more sexuality conferences and universities including Princeton, Columbia, Wellesley College and New York University.
In June, 2014, Royalle received an honorary Doctorate in Human Sexuality for her life’s work from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

Building on the success of her films, and her work on female sexual empowerment and pleasure, Royalle partnered with Dutch industrial designer Jandirk Groet, and together they created the Natural Contours® line of high-style, discreet ergonomically designed personal massagers. The line debuted in 1999 and turned the world of sex toys on its head, showcasing vibrators as a “mainstream must-have” and raising the bar for all who followed.

In October 2004, Royalle authored her first book, How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do, (Simon & Schuster/Fireside). In 2006 she launched Femme Chocolat®, created to provide high quality intelligent erotica for the largely underserved non-caucasian market.

As pornography for women and couples grows in popularity, Candida continues to raise the bar. She is currently distributing the work of other feminist pornographers including European director, Petra Joy.

Royalle’s life has never been conventional. The daughter of an accomplished professional jazz drummer, she trained and performed in music, dance and art, attending New York’s High School of Art and Design, Parsons School of Design, and the City University of New York, where she was active in the women’s movement of the late ’60′s and early ’70′s. After a move West to San Francisco, she got involved with some of the original members of the infamous Cockettes, including the late Divine, to create avant garde jazz and theater productions.

In 1974, looking to finance her unconventional lifestyle, she entered the world of erotica as an adult performer and acted in more than twenty feature films. For some, this choice may have been seen as a dead end. But for Candida Royalle, this bold decision would shape the rest of her life.

At every fork in the road, Candida has chosen the path less traveled and, in so doing, has challenged herself, raised the bar and found a new way forward”.

They say “it can’t be done” and she says “just watch me!”.

May 282014
 

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This Friday for Sex Out Loud I feature one of my trailblazing influences, the “Mother of Masturbation”: Betty Dodson. Dodson is an artist, author, and PhD sexologist who authored the books Sex For One, Orgasms for Two, and My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir. Her collaborative partner Carlin Ross is an entrepreneur and sex educator and together they are two intergenerational, sex-positive feminists whose dialogue on sexuality and feminism entertains and educates. This interview was recorded live at CatalystCon 2014 and Betty Dodson does NOT hold back about anything, so tune in to hear this unforgettable interview.

Betty Dodson, artist, author, and PhD sexologist has been one of the principal voices for women’s sexual pleasure and health for over three decades. Dodson had the first one-woman show of erotic art in ’68 in NYC followed by three others. For 25 years, she ran Bodysex groups where women learned about their bodies and orgasms through the practice of self-stimulation. Her first book, Liberating Masturbation: A Meditation on Selflove (’74) became a feminist classic. Sex for One (’87) sold over a million copies. Orgasms for Two (’02) embraces partner sex and My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir details her experiences with America’s Sexual Revolution, the women’s movement and her feminist sexual activism with bodysex groups that she conducted for 25 years. In 1994, she earned a PhD in clinical sexology. Dodson has presented at conferences for sexual scientists, therapists, and psychologists.

Carlin Ross, entrepreneur and sex educator, has transcended her “ESQ” tagline to position herself at the forefront of female sexuality. She left her law career to create a lifestyle brand for women: cherrybomb. The site launch was featured on the front page of the NY Times on February 24, 2004. She has interviewed sexperts such as Ian Kerner, Helen Fischer, Candida Royalle, Dr. Judy Kuriansky, and Dr. Barbara Bartlik for the Sex Herald. And she has written/produced/directed several erotic features for Playgirl TV in addition to several original features – most recently Betty Dodson’s Bodysex Workshop. She has appeared on The Sharon Osbourne Show, CNN, MSNBC, and Dateline and radio shows including Afternoon Advice on Playboy Radio. She has been featured in national publications including Marie Claire and Esquire.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

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May 072014
 

I have recently started a new relationship, and we have been getting to know each other including experimenting a little with different sexual things. The topic of anal sex came up and she is turned on by it, but so far her rule is “two fingers max.” She’s a very small person all around, and that includes her asshole. She wants to stretch her ass to accommodate my cock, so we want to know how to do it and how long it will take.

–Patient in Palo Alto

Her small stature does not necessarily have anything to do with how much cock she can take in her ass. Haven’t you seen those tiny porn starlets take huge dicks up their butts? It is absolutely possible. Her objective should not be to stretch her ass, but rather to learn to relax the sphincter muscles to make penetration comfortable and pleasurable. I suggest you begin slowly. Try one finger in her ass, your tongue or fingers or a vibrator on her clit, and a rousing orgasm. From there, let her set the pace as you work your way up from one finger to two, and so on. You can also work your way up with dildos or butt plugs in graduated sizes. You shouldn’t move on to the next step until everything feels great. How long it takes to get used to this new sensation, be comfortable with anal play, and work up to a cock in her ass will totally depend on her. Don’t be so focused on how long it will take, just enjoy all the fun you’ll have getting there!

Feb 262014
 

Shanna-and-Vivianne1

This week on Sex Out Loud, I talk with sex educator Shanna Katz about her passions around sex and sex education, specifically making sex education inclusive of all communities and how to get the information to people who often are left out of resources. She’ll also discuss her new women’s sexuality book, Your Pleasure Map, a choose-your-own-adventure style guide to hotter, naughtier, more adventurous sex.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a queer kinky disabled femme and board certified sexologist, sexuality educator and professional pervert. From topics like relationship communication skills to non-monogamy, and oral sex to how sexuality and dis/ability intersect, she talks, writes and teaches about the huge spectrum of sexuality, both from personal and professional perspectives. She’s using her Master’s of Sexuality Education to provide accessible, open-source sex education to people around the country, and is currently working hard to bring sex education and positivity to the Southwest as well as online.

A member of the One Colorado Queer White Allies for Racial Solidarity Caucus, the American College of Sexologists, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, as well as on the board of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (Pawtucket, RI) and Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights (Denver, C), Shanna is actively involved in work towards equality and social justice for people of all identities. Teaching classes at colleges and universities (such as Brown University, Colorado College, SUNY-Purchase, ASU, Hofstra, U of A, etc) is one of her favorite ways to expand horizons. She also loves traveling to speak at conferences, sex toy stores, dungeons, women’s groups, LGBTQ centers, art galleries and more, and co-presenting with her partner on looking at privilege in sexuality education and LGBTQ inclusive medical practices.

She has written for many sexuality websites, had a sexuality centric radio show with widespread listeners, has had her erotica published in multiple anthologies, directed queer porn and three books; her first book “Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind” is on cunnilingus for partners of all genders, her book Your Pleasure Map is a choose-your-own-adventure style of sexuality guide for women, and her book being released in February, 100 Lesbian Sex Positions. When not blogging, teaching, writing or tweeting about the oh-so-many interesting and awkward moments in her life, you can find Shanna drinking tea, eating cupcakes, and cuddling with her partner and their three rescued cats; Kinsey, Kali and Jasper. For more info, please visit her sexuality education site, www.ShannaKatz.com.

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Feb 052014
 

My girlfriend knows that anal sex has been a long time fantasy of mine, and recently she decided to try it. We were in the shower fooling around, then we had vaginal sex. She suggested I put it in her ass, and, of course, I gladly obliged. I gently placed my dick at the entrance of her sexy asshole, and she pulled her ass cheeks apart for me. I slowly tried to push my dick in her ass, but it was like pushing my dick against a wall. I was just not going anywhere. The funny thing is that I was fully lubed up and so was she. She was also very relaxed, so I don’t see why I couldn’t get my dick inside her. My dick is about eight inches long and three inches thick, could this be the reason?

–Stranded in the Shower

It sounds like your girlfriend has never had anal sex before, and a nice warm shower does not qualify as warming her up! I am not surprised it felt impossible to get inside; the sphincter muscles are a tight ring of muscles and they’ll keep you from going anywhere you’re not welcome. In this case, you weren’t welcome because you tried to go from 0 to 60 in five seconds. So let’s start over and introduce her to this wonderful activity properly, shall we?

Begin exploring your girlfriend’s ass with analingus, external stimulation, and one finger. As you lick her pussy or stimulate her clit, slip a well-lubed finger inside her ass gently and slowly. Build from this experience and make sure to let her set the pace. Don’t proceed to add another finger or try out a toy until she’s ready.

Once you’ve had many sessions of anal penetration with fingers and toys, only then are you ready to put your dick in her ass. It sounds like your dick is both longer and a lot thicker than average. Get a dildo that’s just slightly smaller than your erect cock, and begin playing with it. Once she can take that dildo comfortably and it feels really good, then you can give your dick another try. If you return to the shower for the big event, make sure to use a silicone-based lubricant, since water-based lubes will simply wash away.

Nov 152013
 

The infamous sex toy reviewer and blogger Epiphora did a fantastic sex toy gift guide on the November 15 episode of Sex Out Loud, so we are sharing it here! –Tristan

Vibrators

LELO Mona 2 vibratorMy #1 pick is the Mona 2 vibrator from LELO. I’ve become so obsessed with this toy lately that I’m pretty sure everyone’s getting sick of hearing about it. But it covers all the bases: it’s rechargeable, strong, fully submersible in water, and the shape is just awesome. It has a bulbous end for great G-spot stimulation, but it’s also sort of tapered on one side, so it sits nicely between the labia when used clitorally. It also has incredible range in terms of vibration, so a person who doesn’t know how much power they need yet can find out.

As a bonus, it comes in a box that’s already perfect for gift-giving. You can literally just toss a bow around it and be done. Which is great because I’m already having flash-forwards to how much peppermint schnapps I’m going to have to drink while I wrap presents this year, just to make it bearable.

We-Vibe Touch vibratorLELO Mia 2 vibrator
If you’re looking for a solid clitoral vibe, my favorite rechargeables are the We-Vibe Touch and LELO Mia. The We-Vibe Touch is one of the most powerful rechargeable clit vibes I’ve ever tried, which, of course, I love, and the LELO Mia is USB rechargeable, so it’s basically the best travel vibe ever.

Pleasure Works Silver Bullet vibratorPleasure Works Diving Dolphin vibrator sleevePleasure Works Wild Hare vibrator sleeve
Pleasure Works makes a couple 100% silicone sleeves called the Diving Dolphin and Wild Hare, and those fit over any vibrator with a diameter of an inch or so. They fit perfectly over the Silver Bullet, which consequently is an excellent starter vibe, and they give it some extra grip, too, which is awesome.

Dildos

Vixen Creations VixSkin dildos

Some of my favorite dildos of all-time are the dildos made by Vixen Creations. They have a dual-density pure silicone called VixSkin that is highly detailed, delightfully squishy, and will last a lifetime. I’m addicted to it, to put it mildly.

Tantus Rocket dildoPleasure Works Siren dildoLELO Ella dildo
I’m also a big fan of G-spot dildos. If your gift recipient is new to G-spot stimulation, a really simple silicone dildo with a good G-spotting head will do the trick. I really like the Tantus Rocket, the Pleasure Works Siren, and the LELO Ella.

njoy Pure Wand dildoNobEssence Seduction dildoJopen Key Comet G Wand dildo
But if they’ve already found their G-spot and want to up the ante a bit — perhaps even learn to squirt — I absolutely adore the njoy Pure Wand, which is stainless steel, the NobEssence Seduction which is made of wood, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand, which is half-glass and half-silicone. All of them are basically G-spot homing missiles, so you can’t go wrong.

Fun Factory Stronic Eins pulsatorTantus Splash dildoCrystal Delights Crystal Twist
But what if the person you’re buying for already has a hefty sex toy collection? I’d suggest a toy that offers a truly unique sensation, and I would know which ones do because I have a very discerning vagina. I suggest you check out Fun Factory’s Stronic line. These toys do not have traditional motors; they actually contain weights that move back and forth. Yes, like a Shake Weight. Except for your vagina. And a lot more useful. The Stronics are not cheap, but I think they’re worth it. And I don’t say that a lot about $200 toys.

If $200 is a bit much, and I don’t blame you there, look up the Tantus Splash or Crystal Delights Crystal Twist. These two dildos are oddly shaped, yet feel so wonderful because of it.

Anal Toys

Fun Factory Bootie butt plugnjoy Pure Plug butt plugNobEssence Romp butt plug
If your gift recipient has never tried anal play, I would suggest the Fun Factory Bootie, a little silicone plug with a curved tip. It’s cute, small, and it has a great base.

If they’re more well-versed in anal, they’ll love the njoy Pure Plug, which is stainless steel, or the NobEssence Romp, which is wood. Both feel amazing and really have that “wow” factor when you open them because they’re so gorgeous.

Kegel Balls

LELO Luna Beads kegel balls

My favorite kegel balls — and I’ve tried quite a few — are the LELO Luna Beads. These are inserted vaginally and can be worn around, to make mundane tasks less excruciating. Oh, yeah, and they tone the PC muscles, too. But mostly the sensation of the inner balls rolling around is just really fun.

Sleeves

Fleshlight line-up

Fleshlights are awesome. My boyfriend is super picky about sleeves, but he loves the luscious material used to make Fleshlights… as do I (you can sometimes find me casually fingering one). There are about a million to choose from, from basic orifices to extremely detailed porn star vulvas. There’s even a build-your-own option.

Other Stuff

Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System

If you want to veer off the traditional sex toy path, there’s always the Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System. This thing basically turns any bed into a bondage playground, complete with both wrist and ankle cuffs. And when you’re done, you can just toss the straps and cuffs under the mattress, effectively hiding them away from your kids… or in my case, my cats.

Sliquid lube is the best

And finally, I must mention lube! It’s the best. Everyone should use it. My favorite brand is Sliquid, because all of their lubes are glycerin- and paraben- free. I say get some lube samples and stuff them in a stocking. Plus then you can do a lube flight and find out what both of you like.

Can’t decide?

If you can’t decide, and if I’m overwhelming you with suggestions, see if your favorite sex shop does gift certificates (hint: Good Vibes, Babeland, SheVibe, Early to Bed, Come As You Are, and Tantus all do). One thing you can do is make a list of potential toys to show your partner — you could even put together a sex toy brochure or menu or something — but leave the final say up to them. This shows that you put some effort and research into it, but ultimately you’re giving them the reins. People love having the reins.

Aug 072013
 

My boyfriend and I are fully experiencing the joys of anal exploration and loving it every step of the way. He is convinced that you can cum through your bum. I know that penetration there can for sure lead to a vaginal orgasm, but is he right? If your bum can squirt and get slippery on its own, why would we need lube?

–Bum Bum Cum Cum?

Your boyfriend is correct, many women can experience orgasm through anal penetration, either alone or with clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, or both. There is not necessarily a clear distinction between a vaginal orgasm and a butt orgasm, since when you come, both your pussy and your ass have contractions. However, your ass cannot ejaculate and it is not self-lubricating, so you absolutely need lube to make penetration comfortable.

Aug 012013
 

AugustisAnal

Pioneering Sex Positive Retailer Invites You to Get Cheeky with Educational Workshops & Timeline

SAN FRANCISCO (August 1, 2013): August is “Anal Pleasure Month” according to Good Vibrations, the trusted San Francisco-based company that takes pride in providing accurate information on sexuality and toys for grown-ups. In celebration of this theme they have put together an impressive timeline of the history of anal sex, along with a month of workshops and events in California to bring know-how and pleasure to the people.

“While anal pleasure is widely enjoyed, it is still considered taboo, so access to clear and accurate information about it is sadly limited. Good Vibrations declared August to be Anal Pleasure month as a way to illuminate the subject and make information available to interested adults. You can see how the cultural conversation around anal sex has evolved in our anal history timeline –- it’s fun and fascinating!” says Staff Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen.

Good Vibrations has also teamed up with famed sex educator and author Tristan Taormino to celebrate Anal Pleasure Month on her Sex Out Loud Radio show where she’ll be discussing the ins and outs of safe and fun anal play. Tristan directed The Expert Guide to Anal Sex and has her own collection of favorite sex toys at Good Vibrations, including “Back Door Beginner” kit and Beginner Pegging Kit and also contributed to Good Vibrations’ anal history timeline. This and other anal safe toys will be featured in the month of August.

Follow along online as Anal Sex Month highlights useful resources and information, normalizing and celebrating anal pleasure. Good Vibrations’ Social Networks including Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr, Google Plus, and even Instagram and Vine with hashtag #analpleasuremonth.

Jul 242013
 

petrajoy-promo-shot

Petra Joy is an award-winning filmmaker, photographer, and journalist who currently lives and works in England and makes “art-core” films from a female perspective. This Friday on Sex Out Loud at 5pm PT / 8 pm ET, she’ll discuss Sexual Sushi, the first film she produced and directed, as well as Her Porn, a series she began in 2008 to give fellow female directors a place to collect and distribute their work. Petra Joy will also discuss the Joy Awards, her ongoing collaboration with Candida Royalle and the impending launch of Cinema Joy, her own eclectic Video On Demand channel streaming with her own erotic films as well as films by other feminist porn directors whose work she loves.

After graduating in 1990 with an MA in film studies and history, Petra Joy worked for almost two decades as a freelance television director producing over 50 documentaries, mostly on (female) sexuality. This work took her to England where she still resides. In 2004, Petra produced and directed her first erotic film, Sexual Sushi . This unique erotic film, featuring a real-life couple and an artistic approach to erotic filmmaking, became a surprise success – even though or because it broke all the mainstream porn rules. Encouraged by this success Petra directed to date four more “art-core” films from a female perspective (Female Fantasies, Feeling it, The Female Voyeur, A Taste of Joy) that won multiple awards all over the world.

Finding similar-minded female directors through festival appearances and networking, Petra began to curate and publish the best-selling Her Porn series in 2008, giving fellow female directors a place to collect and distribute their work that may otherwise have gone unnoticed by many. Encouraged by the idea of promoting existing female directors, as well as wanting to mentor new ones, she created the Petra Joy Awards in 2009, a short film competition for first-time erotic film directors.

Petra continues to make headlines with her autobiographical book The She Pornographer. Female Fantasies: My Revolution Of Lust which was published by Heyne in Germany in June 2012.

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