Painful Pee Post-Sex

Feb 252003
 

I develop a urinary tract infection (UTI) almost every time I have anal sex, and it is really frustrating. I thought I was doing everything right. I have an enema beforehand. I make sure there is not too much fondling of my vagina during anal sex (although I hate that, as I always enjoy his fingers or a toy inside me during anal). After making love, I get up and shower, washing with mild soap (which is inconvenient to do just after sex). I have seen a urologist about this annoyance, and have been given an antibiotic as a prophylactic, but I do not like the antibiotic therapy. We do not switch from tushy to pussy, and my ass is almost always very clean, although I realize that we can only be so clean, as there is microscopic bacteria in the rectum. I would appreciate any recommendations you have, so I can stop having UTIs and keep having more anal sex.

–Painful Pee Post-Sex

Many women get UTIs after sex because bacteria from your partner’s cock, or your ass, gets into the urethra where it causes an infection. It sounds to me like you may be especially prone to UTIs if you are getting them so frequently. You have been doing all the right things (enema, no ass to pussy, no vaginal play during anal, and a post-sex shower) to prevent a possible infection, but I do have some additional advice.

First and foremost, make sure that lube from your ass isn’t “migrating” to your pussy. This is a common problem, especially if you are doing it doggie-style. One way to prevent what I call “the drip down effect” is to switch to a different position, like missionary, where gravity is working in your favor. You should also try to keep some unscented baby wipes on hand to wipe excess lube away from your butt before it makes its way to your pussy. After sex, the first thing you should do is pee, even if you feel like you don’t have to. The simple act of urinating can flush out any bacteria that may have gotten into your urethra. Then, shower as you have been to wash away lube, semen, and any other body fluids you’ve got in or on you. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids after anal sex, and pee often to make sure to clear out the urethra.

Strap-on Slut

Feb 132003
 

I’m a lesbian in a relationship with a great girl. I’d visited your website before and the idea of anal sex interested both of us, but we’d never gone beyond a little hesitant touching. Your book was an eye-opening experience! I thought that my sex life was fun before, but you helped us to safely discover a whole new level of pleasure, and I really want to thank you for that. My girlfriend and I have different views on the subject: she likes it when I penetrate her with a strap-on dildo; I prefer when she puts a butt plug in my ass, and I wear it for a while — I like the “full feeling” better. We use condoms on our toys, we’re careful to take our time, and we use plenty of lubricant.

After an anal session, whether it’s with a butt plug or dildo, however, my girlfriend gets abdominal cramps. She has absolutely no pain during sex itself (quite the opposite), only afterwards! We have tried different positions, enemas, breathing techniques, and having several orgasms before anal penetration. The dildo I am using is only about 1.5″ in diameter, and she has no problem taking it. The only time she doesn’t suffer these symptoms is when we just do gentle fingering (one or two fingers). This would be fine except she is very into the strap-on. Can you help us?

–Strap-on Slut

When people write to me about pain and discomfort from anal penetration, it’s usually about burning and other painful feelings in their rectum. However, cramping after anal sex is not unusual. In fact, lots of people ask me, “After you did your final scene in The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women video, wasn’t your ass sore?” I tell them the truth: I had so much warm up with fingers and toys, and I was so turned on that my ass was relaxed and open. Even lots of anal penetration over several hours of taping didn’t make me sore, but I did feel some cramps in my abdomen afterwards. Of course, making my video was like the Anal Olympics for me, and I don’t want your girlfriend to have discomfort just from what is, comparatively, a run around the track.

I have a few suggestions. First, don’t fuck on a full stomach. If her body is trying to digest a big meal, then stimulation in the rectum could confuse the natural bowel processes. Similarly, just like you shouldn’t drink gallons of water before you work out your abdominal muscles at the gym, the same holds true for getting plowed. Second, consider using a shorter dildo. The longer the cock, the closer it gets to the lower colon, which for some people may disrupt colonic activity and cause cramps. Finally, as you thrust in and out of her with your cock, air can be pushed inside her rectum and travel upward in the body, giving her cramps, so no more doing her in wind tunnels. Seriously, if her cramping persists, I suggest she consult a physician to see if she is suffering from a gastrointestinal problem.

Waiting to Inflate

Feb 082003
 

First off, thank you for writing a great book and making a movie out of it. It was a great help in introducing anal sex to our marriage. Do those inflatable vibrating butt plugs really work? Are they safe and fun or are they just another novelty?

–Waiting to Inflate

Inflatable butt plugs look like bachelor-party gag gifts, but they are sex toys that actually work. Some of my best friends swear by inflatable plugs! One selling point is that you can gradually work your way up from slim to sizable without having to buy four different sized butt plugs. You can track your progress, and one toy can suit your different desires. Once the plug is inside you, you can give your ass time to relax, then one pump, and you feel more full. Like with all kinds of anal play, don’t try to rush things — take your time.

Also keep in mind that you should use common sense and never over-inflate one of these bad boys. Make sure you inflate it outside the body, and note how many squeezes of the inflating pump it can take, since you don’t want to find out its limit while it’s up your butt. According to all the letters I receive, and the people I meet at my anal sex workshops across the country, I know of only two people who’ve ever experienced an inflatable plug bursting. Both times, it was a manufacturing defect, and it broke into a few pieces which were easily removed. So go ahead and pump your way to pleasure!

Anally Concerned Couple

Jan 302003
 

My girlfriend and I have realized the joys of anal play and recently started playing with a latex vibrating butt plug. It’s been a great addition, but we experienced something bizarre when using it recently. When I pulled the plug out of her butt after a short play session, a large amount of mucous-like substance came out of her ass as well. It had no trace of fecal matter and definitely was not lube but neither of us knew what to make of this. Are we doing something wrong or should I be concerned with anything?

–Anally Concerned Couple

Congrats on coming over to the tushy team! When stuff comes out of our asses that we don’t recognize, it can be alarming, so I understand your concern completely. Rest assured, you are fine. The rectum is lined with a thin layer of mucous which helps to protect it. When we put toys inside our butts, some of that mucous can cling to the toy, and even mix with lubricant, which sounds like what happened to you. The rectum naturally regenerates the mucous, so your ass will return to normal. Then you can stick more things in it!

Do-Right Dom

Jan 142003
 

I have been an anal lover for years, and I recently met a new woman who has become my submissive. I would love to start her anal training as she has just begun to understand her submissive side, and it really comes out when I even mention doing her in the ass. Here’s the problem: she told me that she had surgery to remove hemorrhoids, so I am concerned. It has been a year and she has a clean bill of health from her doctor. Can we begin to have anal intercourse as well as other fun and games?

–Do-Right Dom

If your submissive had surgery to treat her hemorrhoids, then her problem was probably pretty serious. Many people with hemorrhoids are able to enjoy anal penetration as long as they pay close attention to their butts, and don’t engage in backdoor banging during a flare up. If she feels itching, burning or any discomfort, you should stop at once. But before you do anything, has she talked to her doctor about resuming anal play? I know it can be a difficult or embarrassing thing to bring up with a health care professional, but your submissive’s doctor knows her ass well by now, so he or she is the best person to ask about its health. If the doctor gives you the green light, then progress slowly, use plenty of lube, and err on the side of gentleness to begin. Instruct your submissive to give you post-scene reports about how her ass is feeling, which will give you information about how to proceed.

Avid Analist

Jan 032003
 

My girlfriend and I just started having anal sex; thanks for your wonderful web site and all your great advice. I was wondering, would a fairly good amount of semen in the rectum do anything bad? Or would you recommend against it?

–Avid Analist

Lots of people ask about having unprotected anal sex, and if ejaculation in the ass is harmful in any way, and the answer, like those to many questions is: it depends. If you have anal intercourse without a condom, both partners can be at risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, and hepatitis. The risks increase for your partner if you ejaculate, since semen has a high concentration of HIV and many of the STDs mentioned. If you and your partner tested negative for all these diseases and are monogamous, then having anal sex without a condom and coming in her ass is safe. Since you described your load as “a fairly good amount of semen,” I’ll remind you that what goes in must come out, so the semen may dribble out of her ass (along with all the lube you put in there), but a quick trip to the bathroom should take care of that!

Mr. Brown Nose

Dec 112002
 

I have been married for almost twenty years. I have never found the courage to ask my wife to buttfuck. She says she hates it! Though she’s never tried it. She does let me sniff her butt, which turns me on so much my heart pounds. Is this a fetish? I haven’t seen anything on the web about butt sniffing or face sitting. Am I sick or just anally amused?

–Mr. Brown Nose

Our sense of smell is as important as all our other senses, and can be a crucial component in our sexual arousal. That’s the reason that people wear perfume or cologne to attract others, and why aromatherapy works, because scents can relax, excite, or entice us. Pheromones are naturally occurring chemicals which we can’t actually smell; but our noses detect them, and supposedly send messages to the brain, stimulating the body and creating a subconscious increase in desire. So, the nose is an important sex organ. Certain smells can be a big turn on for some people, and repulsive to others. It sounds like you’ve got a nose for that little nook between your girlfriend’s butt cheeks, and I can assure you that you are not the only one. In fact, there are plenty of web sites devoted to butt sniffing. As for the face sitting fetish, I’ve seen it in lots of adult videos, including the legendary Face Dance Obsession from Evil Angel Video.

I Want A Pain-Free Poke

Nov 262002
 

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years. My boyfriend wants to have anal sex, but he is very big and thick. He hurts me when we’re just having regular sex. I don’t know why, since I’m 100% wet when we have sex, and it still hurts. We tried anal once but I told him to take it out because it hurt even when he put the head in. I’m just afraid that if we have anal sex he’s gonna hurt me. He says he will go slow, but he never listens to himself. Just before he’s getting ready to cum he starts to do it harder, so I don’t know if I should do it with him or not.

–I Want A Pain-Free Poke

First, I recommend you really focus on extended foreplay before your boyfriend even attempts penetration with his dick. Have him go down on you, rub your clit, use a vibrator, and work your body before getting inside it. The more aroused you get, the better your circulation; blood rushes to the genitals, the body relaxes, the pussy lubricates, and penetration becomes much easier. You say you are 100% wet, but I still really recommend using lube. Lube makes everything nice and slick, and eases penetration whether he’s well endowed or not. You also need to warm up both your ass and pussy with something smaller than your husband’s dick, like his fingers or a smaller dildo or vibrator. Start small and slow, and work your way up. Add another finger or go farther in only when you feel completely relaxed and ready for more. Don’t rush it.

Once you start having intercourse, make sure you are in the driver’s seat. You call the shots about how hard, how deep, how fast. Talk to your boyfriend and make sure he knows when something feels really good and when it does not. Penetration, whether vaginal or anal, should never hurt you. Take the time to make sure your body is warmed up, you are ready, and make sure he’s connected to you so he knows when the time is right.

For some men, in order to orgasm they need to take some very quick hard thrusts, which sounds like it may be the case with your guy. If he simply can’t slow down or when he does slow down, he can’t come, then I suggest this: when he’s ready to shoot, have him pull out. Then you can give him a hand job, he can jerk himself off, or he can thrust against you but not inside you.

Ass Scratch

Nov 152002
 

I have had some discomfort since I allowed my girlfriend to insert her fingers inside my ass. I am afraid she might have scratched me. Is this situation dangerous? What treatment can I use to heal if I am scratched?

–Ass Scratch

Since you didn’t specify if the suspected scratch is external or internal, I will give you advice about both. If the scratch is on the outside, you should take extra care to make sure it stays clean in the next week; look at the local drugstore for personal hygeine cloths which contain soothing ingredients like witch hazel. If you believe there is a scratch or minor cut inside your rectum, your body should heal itself, and you should be free of all discomfort within about a week. If you continue to experience pain or if you are bleeding after a few days, then go see a physician.

Let me give you some tips for the future about how to protect yourself without sacrificing your sex life. Whether she has real or fake nails, no matter what the length, your girlfriend should definitely wear gloves when she fucks you in the ass. Latex or non-latex gloves alone are fine for short nails or even when you are just not so sure about rough edges, torn cuticles, or other things which could cause a tear. But for anything longer than very short nails, she can stuff half a cotton ball in each of the finger tips of the glove or wrap her nails in gauze before she slips into a glove. This will protect her nails and, very importantly, your ass from any future mishaps.

Female Fisting Fan

Nov 082002
 

My question is about anal fisting. My girlfriend started out with her fingers, and this weekend she wanted to put in as much as I could take. After all was said and done, she had her fist in me. I must say, it hurt a little, but I enjoyed it, and she did also. How often can a person do this to their ass? I do not want to find that when I hit the age of 40, I will have some long term problems.

–Female Fisting Fan

Like everything else we do, especially the more extreme activities, moderation is always best. Fisting is an activity that requires patience, practice, skill, and lots of lube. As long as you take your time and listen to your body, you can engage in anal fisting as often as your body can handle it. But it’s important that you and your girlfriend respect your body’s limits. Even those who exercise care and caution may be left the next day with a sore ass, so it’s best to give your ass a few days rest in between frenetic fisting sessions. Anal penetration and fisting shouldn’t hurt, and if you experience pain, you should slow down, back off, or stop altogether. If you don’t, and you push yourself too much, you are more likely to cause some kind of trauma to the delicate rectal tissue which can lead to discomfort, pain, and damage to your ass. To keep your ass happy and healthy, practice common sense, and don’t over do it. The better you treat it, the more you’ll be able to fist it!

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