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Reclaiming Desire Workshop with Dossie Easton and Deborah Taj Anapol

Dec 072011

Dossie Easton and Deobrah Taj Anapol will be giving a one-day workshop, Reclaiming Desire, on January 14, 2012 in San Rafael, CA. This is a great opportunity to engage with two amazing professionals and learn how to explore the power of your desires. Details on the workshop and information on how to register below.

RECLAIMING DESIRE with Dossie Easton & Deborah Taj Anapol
January 14th, 2012, 11 am to 6 pm in San Rafael, CA

Dossie and Deborah have each been instrumental in creating today’s global shift toward embracing diversity in sexual relating. They now work to support people to create and maintain many varieties of healthy relationships. In this one-day workshop they will join forces to offer an extraordinary exploration of the power of sexual desire. Don’t miss this one-time collaboration of two powerful icons! While we need not act on every desire, when we deny what we feel we cast our disowned selves into the shadow along with our passion and our excitement. In this powerful experiential workshop we’ll journey through the obstacles and fears which can block our natural energy, and clear the path for amazing loving connections.

You can learn how to gracefully manage jealousy without stifling your feelings;
Be clear about who you are without getting stuck in a limiting identity; and
Know what you want and ask for it while honoring everyone’s relationships.

Cost: $108 per person. Register online here.

Deborah Taj Anapol, Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology is the author of Polyamory in the 21st Century, The Seven Natural Laws of Love and Love Without Limits. She now offers seminars, training, and sexual healing, tantra, and relationship coaching for partners & singles worldwide in person, via phone, & Skype. Visit her at www.lovewithoutlimits.com for complete schedule of upcoming workshops, books, free articles, and coaching formats.

Dossie Easton is a licensed psychotherapist working with individuals, couples and moresomes in her private practice in San Francisco. She is co-author with Janet Hardy of The Ethical Slut, Radical Ecstasy, and others, and she lectures and leads workshops on polyamory and ecstatic spiritual practices internationally. Dossie has been an active sex radical since 1961. Website: www.dossieeaston.com.

2012 AVN-Nominated Films

Dec 072011

The 2012 AVN nominations were released this week, and I have a lot to celebrate with 7 nominations for my films! Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind scored five nominations for Best Vignette Release, Best Anal Sex Scene (Adrianna Nicole and Ramon Nomar), Best Group Sex Scene (Adrianna Nicole, Nat Turnher, Danny Wylde, Keni Styles & Evan Stone), Best Threeway Scene (Adrianna Nicole, Danny Wylde & Keni Styles) and Best Director-Non Feature. In addition, The Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex and The Expert Guide to Female Orgasms were both nominated for Best Educational Release.

These are especially exciting because they represent several different milestones for me. These are the most nominations I’ve ever received in a single year. These are the most nominations I’ve ever received for one film. This is my first ever nomination for Best Director. Here is the list:

Best Anal Sex Scene
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Adrianna Nicole & Ramon Nomar

Best Director – Non Feature
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Tristan Taormino

Best Group Sex Scene
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Adrianna Nicole, Nat Turnher, Danny Wylde, Keni Styles & Evan Stone

Best Three-Way Sex Scene (G/B/B)
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group; Adrianna Nicole, Keni Styles & Danny Wylde

Best Vignette Release
Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind, Vivid Entertainment Group

Best Educational Release
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex, Vivid Ed

Best Educational Release
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, Vivid Ed

Submit Your Movie to CineKink 2012

Dec 072011

CineKink – “the kinky film festival” – is accepting your film and video submissions for their 2012 season until THIS MONDAY, December 12th, if you submit via Withoutabox (or you’re a CineKink alumni filmmaker). Dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television, they’re looking to blur some boundaries and will be considering offerings drawn from both Hollywood and beyond, with works ranging from documentary to drama, camp comedy to hot porn, mildly spicy to quite explicit–and everything in between. Click HERE for details on submitting and keep reading for more information from their press release:

Scheduled for February 7-12, 2012, the ninth annual CineKink NYC will feature a specially-curated program of films and videos that celebrate and explore a wide diversity of sexuality. In addition to screenings, plans for the festival also include a short film competition, audience choice awards, a special adult entertainment showcase, presentations, parties and a gala kick-off, all to be followed by a national tour.

“We’re once again looking to blur some boundaries and spice things up with our programming,” said Lisa Vandever, Co-Founder and Director of CineKink. “Our audience has come to expect a quality selection of smart and sexy works and, judging from the films that have come in so far, the 2012 season will not disappoint!”

CineKink recently completed its 2011 national tour in Chicago, concluding a season that also saw the festival visiting Austin, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Portland and Washington, DC.

Mentoring Opportunity for Feminist Sex-Positive Sexuality Professionals

Nov 292011

Amy Jo Goddard is doing a survey for a professional mentorship program to be launched in 2012 for feminist, sex-positive sexuality professionals. Please take a few minutes now to do this survey if this description fits you and this is of interest to you.

The survey takes 5-10 minutes and in return you will receive a gift of 3 complimentary months of the program as a thank you – not bad for a 5-10 minute investment! This offer ends this week, so please do it now while it’s on your radar. Or bookmark for tomorrow! And if you would kindly forward this to other sexuality professionals or budding sexuality professionals in your circle, she would be grateful.

Holiday Sale and Gift Sets!

Nov 272011

I know that the Black Friday retail stuff can be maddening, but I also know that people love a good bargain. If, like me, you want to support local, independent businesses this holiday season, then I want to make it even more enticing. So, we’re having a fabulous sale to encourage all of you to do some early holiday shopping at PuckerUp.com:

40% off all DVDs and
20% off everything else in the store

Just use the special code FRIDAY at checkout to take advantage of these huge discounts. But do it now, because this deal expires Monday, November 28 at Midnight PDT.

PLUS: We have some awesome gift sets just for the holidays!

Anal Advisor: Want My Nose Buried in Her Ass Forever

Oct 302011

I have a very free relationship with my girlfriend. She will let me fuck her ass about once every two months, and that is enough for me. She will let me eat her ass whenever I want to. I love to do it, and she loves to have it done even more — she starts to drip because she gets so wet. I love it when she shoves a finger or two into my asshole. She would never consider eating my ass, as I have asked her many times, but I am okay with that. Lately, I have enjoyed eating her ass more and more; it is all I think about.

Yesterday, she came over to my apartment and we laid in bed and had dinner. We got naked and she rolled over to turn off the TV. I saw her ass and pushed her over completely and I got my face to her ass, which was clean, but had an odor, not a bad one, but faint. It turned me on so much that I told her to stay like that and I licked her slightly smelly ass for thirty minutes, while she fingered herself. It was such a turn-on. I told her how much it turned me on and how I wanted to do it again and she said, “No, you are really fucked up.” All I know is that I have never been more turned on in my life. What should I do?

–Want My Nose Buried in Her Ass Forever

Some people like the smell of asses (and other body parts or body odors) — they like reveling in the scent, fetishizing it, and/or talking about it — and it seems like you are one of those people. Scent is an incredibly powerful sense and one that can be closely linked with our desires and turn-ons. It sounds like while you were rimming her ass, she was enjoying herself, since it went on for some time and you wrote that she was pleasuring herself.

I assume that once you revealed that her ass smelled a little, it freaked her out, which caused her abrupt response. One of the most common hang-ups people have about their butts is cleanliness and hygiene, so it’s not surprising that she reacted to your comment. My guess is that she felt self-conscious and instead of admitting that, she lashed out at you. Now that you are past the heat of the moment, it’s time to talk about this openly. You need to stress to your girlfriend that, as you said, her ass didn’t smell awful; explain to her why you liked the smell and how much it turned you on. See if she can get past her own issues and “go there” with you, so you can be open about your desire, and you can both enjoy yourselves.

Anal Advisor: Want to Get Loose

Oct 302011

The first time I tried anal sex was almost six years ago but it was EXTREMELY PAINFUL. I want to try anal again with my current partner. It gets me hot thinking about it with him, but when it comes to doing the actual deed, my butthole it closes up and nothing will get through. Seriously, it locks up tight — not even a finger will fit. I’m at a loss because I don’t know what to do to loosen up.

–Want to Get Loose

You and your ass were traumatized during that first negative experience, and you need to realize that it takes time to heal from any trauma. It sounds like you have a partner you trust and you’re enthusiastic and open about giving anal sex another shot, but your body hasn’t quite caught up to your mind.

I recommend that you very slowly begin to introduce anal play into your solo masturbation routine. Start with external rubbing or a vibrator on the outside only. When you are ready, really take it slowly. Try one finger or the slimmest toy you can find. Give yourself the time and space to explore anal play on your own, so it will take the pressure off doing it with your partner. When you feel comfortable, you can try it with your partner, but you need to take it just as slowly as you did on your own. Make an agreement with your partner that you’ll be the one to call the shots (or call it off if need be). Focus on your desire and trust to help you move past the fear and anxiety and toward pleasure.

Ask Tristan: Hanky Code

Oct 112011

I am a long time follower of your advice, both from puckerup.com and in Taboo Magazine. I am interested in the hanky code. I am a hetero male, and I am interested in finding people in my area that are into the things I am, so thus I was interested in the codes. However, I was wondering don they apply to us as well or only those gay-oriented? Living in Santa Fe, NM I am sure these codes are present and that brings us to the next question. Can you suggest an alternate website? Seeing that hankycodes.com has closed their doors. Good luck with the mint hankies.

Although the hanky code originated in the gay male community, today, it is widely used by people of all sexual orientations, so I say, flag away. Check out my hanky code for some ideas!

Disclaimer: Some colors have multiple meanings depending on which code you refer to. Remember, this isn’t a complete list, it’s my list, and there are plenty of others out there.

COLOR: LEFT/RIGHT
Apricot: Chubby/Chubby Chaser
Beige: Rimmer/Rimmee
Black: Heavy S/M Top/Heavy S/M Bottom
Black Lace: Brander/Brandee
Black Velvet: Makes Videos/Will Perform
Black and White Checkered: Safe Sex Top/Safe Sex Bottom
Brown Lace: Uncut Cock/Likes Uncut Cock
Brown Satin: Circumcised/Likes Cut Cock
Brown: Shit Play Top/Shit Play Bottom
Brown Corduroy Headmaster/Headmistress Student
Charcoal: Businessman/Likes Businessmen or Men in Suits
Coral: Foot Worshipee/Foot Worshiper
Cream: Cums Inside/Sucks It Out
Dark Pink: Tit Torture/Tit Torturee
Dark Red: Dildo Fucker/Gets Fucked
Dark Red: Double Fister/Double Fistee
Dog Bones: Puppy Owners and Trainers/Puppies
Fuscia: Spanker/Spankee
Fur:Bestiality Top/Bottoms for Animals
Gold: 2 Seeking 1/1 Seeking 2
Gold Lame: Cutter/Likes to Get Cut
Gold Lame: Muscleman Top/Muscleman Bottom
Gray: Latex Top/Latex Bottom
Houndstooth: Biter/Will be Bitten
Hunter Green: Daddy/Looking for Daddy or Daddy’s boy
Kelly Green: Hustler/John
Kewpie Doll: Chicken/Chickenhawk
Lavender: Group Sex Top/Group Sex Bottom
Lavender: Drag Queen/Likes Drag Queens
Leopard: Has Tattoos/Likes Tattoos
Light Blue: Wants Head/Gives Head
Light Blue with White Stripes: Sailor/Likes Sailors
Light Pink: Tit Fondler/Tit Fondlee
Light Pink: Dildo Fucker/Dildo Fuckee
Lime Green: Humiliator/Humiliation Bottom
Lime Green: Dines off Tricks/Dinner Plate
Magenta: Armpit Worshipee/Armpit Worshipper
Maroon: Likes Menstruating Women//Menstruating
Maroon: Cutter/Cuttee
Maroon: Enema Giver/Enema Receiver
Mauve: Navel Worshipee/Navel Worshipper
Medium Blue: Cop/Likes Cops
Mint Green: Mommy/Looking for or Belongs to Mommy
Mosquito Netting: Outdoor Sex Top/Outdoor Sex Bottom
Mustard: Food Fetish Top/Food Fetish Bottom
Mustard: 8″ or More/Likes 8+” Dicks
Navy Blue: Ass Fucker/Ass Fucking Bottom
Navy Blue: Anal Fucker/Gets Fucked
Olive Drab: Military Top/Military Bottom
Orange: Anything, Anytime Top/Anything, Anytime Bottom
Paisley: Wears Boxers/Likes Boxers
Pale Yellow: Spit Play Top/Spit Play Bottom
Purple: Piercer/Piercee
Red Fister Fistee
Red & Black: Vampire Top/Vampire Bottom
Red & Black Stripe: Bear/Likes Bears
Red & White: Shaver/Shavee
Red and White Gingham: Park Sex Top/Park Sex Bottom
Robin’s Egg Blue: Light S/M Top/Light S/M Bottom
Robin’s Egg Blue: 69er/69er
Rust: Cowboy/Likes Cowboys
Saran Wrap: Voyeur/Exhibitionist
Silver Lame: Psychological Top/Psychological Bottom
Silver Lame: Star/Star Fucker
Tan: Smokes Cigars/Likes Cigar Smokers
Teal Blue: Genitorturer/Genitorturee
Teddy Bear: Cuddler/Likes to Get Cuddled
White: Likes Novices/Novice
White: Jerk Me Off/I’ll Jerk Us Both Off
White Lace: Victorian Top/Victorian Bottom
White Velour: Voyeur/Exhibitionist
White with Colored Dots: Hosting Orgy/Looking for Orgy
Yellow: Piss Play Top/Piss Play Bottom

Book Reviews of New Books

Oct 102011

We’ve gotten a bunch of love already for my two new books!

Check out this review of The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation:

Julie calls it “highly recommended” on her blog, How to Have Sex in Texas

And look at these reviews of Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica:

KittyStrker wrote: “…Heartwrenching, filthy, and beautiful…Considering gender diversity is pretty much invisible in the media and especially in eroticism, I was delighted to read a collection that was fluid and raw, with many authors I enjoy and respect. I really, really love this book. I love that it shows, not just diversity of gender, but of class and ethnicity, too.” Plus, she’s giving away a copy on her blog Purrversatility.

Sinclair Sexsmith reviewed it as part of Cliterotica on Lambda Literary

Read my Interview with Sinclair Sexsmith at Lambda Literary

Anal Advisor: Ready To Make The Leap to Anal Fisting

Oct 102011

I have enjoyed anal sex with about 20 guys now. By using lots of lube and following my “3 finger” rule (no cocks enter before at least three fingers have opened the back door), I have not had any pain. If I did, the session would be over, pain is a signal after all. Now my current boyfriend has agreed to my suggestion that he fist me. I told him that I will be calling each step.

My plan is simple. You know those Russian dolls inside of dolls? I will do the reverse of that with dildos: start with a very small one, then work my way up, all the way to the tennis can size. I’d like my virgin fisting to happen at a party with a few other guys watching, that is part of my fantasy. They will probably be in the mood for sex, and I’ll be blissed out and certainly open enough for them. My question is: do some people with the stamina go for anal sex after fisting?

–Ready To Make The Leap

I love your idea of the “3 finger” rule, very smart! It sounds like you’ve got a good plan for your first fisting. I appreciate that you’ll be calling the shots and using toys that graduate in size to warm up. Make sure to use plenty of lube, and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen the first time around; you’ve got to respect your ass and go at its pace.

As for your post-fisting romp, I applaud you sharing your fantasy of a little gang bang after the fist — a combination of two very intense activities. I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m not sure your desire is realistic. Most people I know who are fisted do feel blissed out, but they also feel tired and sore, not exactly ideal conditions for having a bunch of cocks in your ass one after the other. Fisting is a process that requires patience and lots of warm up, and it will most likely leave your ass ready for a few days vacation, especially your first time. I suggest you try to rework your fantasy and see if you can come up with some alternatives. Maybe they can all watch then fuck your pussy or get blow jobs from you; use your imagination which shouldn’t need much coaxing. I’m not saying your fantasy is impossible, but until you get a lot more experienced with fisting, take it one step at a time.

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