Oct 162012

My paramour seems to be preoccupied (to say the least) with the idea of anal sex. We’ve tried before a couple times, none of which ended well. I blame it on my own trust issues and the lack of lube. But it’s been a while and I’m feeling better (and braver) about it all. I recently read something about the possibility of semen finding its way from your anus to your vagina and impregnating you. I need to know if I’m gonna have to consider a contraceptive before allowing my beloved to go-a-spelunking in my magic cave without a raincoat! I’d hate to have to explain to my kid someday that he or she was conceived by mommy and daddy getting freaky in the butt!

–So Not Trying To Have A Butt Baby

First let me say that I am pleased that you’re willing to give anal another try — I promise you that lube will go a long way to making it a lot better! If I only received a question like yours once a year, I’d chalk it up to an ill-informed young person or an Internet jokester. But, believe it or not, I get at least one question about becoming pregnant from anal sex nearly every day. So let me reassure you that you’re not the only one who’s heard this rumor or is concerned about it.

Technically, the scenario you pose is possible, but it’s very, very unlikely and improbable. Semen would have to drip out of your ass and into your pussy and survive the transfer outside the body (sperm cannot live very long when exposed to air). Then, a cock or finger or toy would have to push the semen inside, so it had a shot at getting close to the cervix, through the cervix, into the uterus and fallopian tubes. It’s a long journey and beginning in another place doesn’t help matters for those poor sperm.

If you are seriously concerned but want to go condom-free, I recommend taking a few precautions. Have your partner ejaculate in your butt in a position where gravity is working in your favor, like missionary or spooning. As soon as he pulls out, make sure to have a baby wipe handy to catch any dribble and prevent it from migrating toward your puss. Use another baby wipe and give yourself a full swipe from front to back. That ought to cover you!

Jun 102005

My partner and I have been experimenting with anal play for years. We are both very comfortable with it and enjoy it enormously. With my first pregnancy, we had anal sex more than vaginal sex because he felt more at ease. I didn’t mind as I feel extraordinarily close to him during anal lovemaking. I had no hemorrhoids at all during or after my first baby. In the six years since her birth I still had no experience with hemorrhoids and we increased our anal sexual enjoyment tenfold.

With my second pregnancy, we again have had a lot of anal sex. I am now seven months pregnant, and I am experiencing hemorrhoids. I am aware of what they are, how you get them, and the steps to avoid them, but they are still there. Can regular anal sex cause hemorrhoids? I am trying a number of remedies to get rid of them and one is gone, but it seems there is a skin tag or a small pucker of loose skin where it was. Can I expect this to go away or will I always have a remnant? Are there usually remnants of hemorrhoids once they go away or will my ass go back to its normal tight and smooth self? My ass is a BIG part of our sex life and I am worried about how this may affect us. Should I consider surgery to get it back to the way it used to be?

–Preggers and Panicked

Hemorrhoids are blood vessels in and around the anal opening and lower rectum that have filled with blood and gotten very swollen; they can cause itching, irritation, bleeding and pain, especially during bowel movements. Getting hemorrhoids is extremely common for pregnant women for a few reasons: constipation can be common during pregnancy, and straining during bowel movements causes hemorrhoids; an increase in certain hormones causes the walls of your veins to relax which means they can get swollen more easily; the uterus puts pressure on pelvic veins causing them to swell. The fact that you didn’t get them the first time around was very lucky. The cause of your hemorrhoids is your pregnancy, not the anal sex. Although, while you’re having a flare up, anal sex can aggravate the condition by irritating your already inflamed anus.

A skin tag that appears after a hemorrhoid (also known as a hemorrhoid tab) is the result of a swollen external hemorrhoid, usually one that’s serious and not properly treated. Skin tags do not go away on their own. Most skin tags are benign, and they can be removed by a physician. My concern is that you are treating your hemorrhoids yourself, and improper treatment may have caused the first skin tag, and you don’t want to get any more. I suggest you consult a doctor about your hemorrhoids and the skin tag to see what your options are. In the meantime, make your health and pregnancy your priority for now, and try not to stress too much about your sex life. After your baby is born and you can treat your hemorrhoids with the help of a doctor, then you get back into the swing of things. With patience and good medical treatment, your anal sex life should not be affected.

Nov 122004

My wife and I have indulged in anal sex as occasional fun. Since becoming pregnant, she has had some vaginal soreness which has lead to an increase in anal play which I really love. My wife has admitted she really likes analingus and sometimes orgasms during anal penetration. My fear is that once she gives birth, anal sex will return to being only an occasional thing again. How can I persuade or convince my wife to let the good times roll?

–An Anal Lover

If your telling of the situation is accurate, it sounds like your anal play hasn’t just served as a “substitute” for vaginal penetration, but that your wife is having a pretty good time (orgasms being a clear indicator of a good time). I suggest you talk to your wife about exactly what she likes about anal, in addition to analingus, and keep doing more of it. The better time she has during your anal explorations now, the more likely she is to continue wanting you to fuck her in the ass post-pregnancy.

Jul 052002

Me and my partner have always enjoyed anal sex. We have been together for a while and are expecting our first baby in three months. I know people are supposed to have “cravings” when they are pregnant, but my craving is that I want to be fucked in the ass even more than I did before! It feels great, and I experience no discomfort, but we want to make sure that we aren’t doing any harm to the baby (and I don’t exactly feel I can discuss it with my doctor!). I find the most comfortable position is on my knees with my butt sticking up so I can support my belly properly, and this way I can get the most cock in my ass. Will it be alright to continue up to the time you would normally stop having vaginal sex?

–Preggo Anal-Addict

Many women say that their libido, sexual tastes, and orgasms can change drastically during pregnancy, so know that your new craving is perfectly natural. According to most physicians, throughout your pregnancy, penetration (both vaginal and anal) with fingers is safe and with a cock is safe in low-risk pregnancies. One of the challenges of sex during pregnancy is finding comfortable positions, and it sounds like you’ve found a good one, at least for now — it may change when you get bigger. Your mate should definitely avoid deep thrusting and really hard slamming of any kind. Use a water-based lubricant, but be extra careful in preventing bacteria from the ass transferring to the vagina. Make sure his fingers and cock are super clean, or you may get an infection, which is often harder to treat during pregnancy. If you feel any discomfort during any sexual activity, stop at once. You said you don’t feel comfortable talking to your doctor about this, but for the sake of your health, and the health of your baby, it’s probably a good idea.