Can you recommend a particular lube for someone just learning to receive anal sex? I find that I chafe very easily, and I am thinking that a better lube might be the answer. Is baby oil safe for anal sex? What about Vaseline?
–M.S., Los Angeles, CA
No more chafing after this column, I promise! Lubricant is one of the most important ingredients to pleasurable anal sex, and the general rule is: you can never use too much lube! Remember that, unlike those juicy pussies we all love, the rectum is not self-lubricating. You need lube, and spit will not cut it this time. First, the bad news. Baby oil, Vaseline, olive oil or Crisco were not made for sex. Since they are oil-based, they are not safe to use with latex condoms and gloves. Also, if either you or your partner is a woman and an oil based lube gets inside the vagina, it will be very difficult to flush out and will likely cause an infection.
The good news is that there is a huge selection of great lubes on the market. I recommend a thick water-based lube that is similar to the consistency of hair gel. Water-based means that the lube is latex compatible, non-staining, odorless, and can be easily washed out. You want a thick lube — instead of a thin, watery one (like Astroglide or KY Liquid) — which will coat the delicate, sensitive lining of the anal canal and rectum. Many people reach right for that tube of K-Y Jelly; if it’s the only one available, then it will do the job, but there are better lubricants out there with more staying power. My favorite lube is ID, and there are also plenty of others: Probe (Thick and Rich formula), Wet, Foreplay Lube de Luxe (Gel or Cream). If you or your partner are sensitive to glycerin (a common ingredient in most water-based lubricants), try Maximus or Slippery Stuff Gel, which are glycerin-free.
The newest kind of lubes are silicone-based and keep things slick for a very long time. They are safe for use with condoms, but not with many silicone toys (silicone lube bonds to a silicone toy and ruins it). They also aren’t as thick as the water-based lubes I mentioned, but still worth a try; brand names include Eros, ID Millennium, and Wet Platinum. It’s a good idea to get sample sizes of a few different lubricants from places like Good Vibrations or Babeland. Try them out to discover the perfect lube that works for you!