May 122004

I have been with my girlfriend for six years, going on seven. The sex is really amazing, but something is missing: anal. I love to eat her pussy a lot. The taste of her and just being down there can make me come. For the past year, when we 69, as I lick her pussy, I have been playing with her ass, and she moans louder when I do that. One time, my whole thumb was in her ass and she loved it. But when we talk about it, she seems hesitant. When I go down on her, I tend to give her a small rim job. Or, when we are in missionary position and I swivel her left leg over so her ass is exposed and play with her ass. She gets into it, and then stops. I’m very confused. I think she loves it, but I don’t know.

–Questioning Her Anal Love

It sounds to me like you two need to have a conversation about anal pleasure. According to your account, your girlfriend isn’t opposed to it, though it seems that you want to go further than she is comfortable going. It may be that rimming and penetration with a finger feels great, and she has no desire to do any more. But the fact that you’re getting mixed signals means she may have some unexplored issues that prevent her from fully enjoying the anal play you already do and stop her from further exploration. Be open, compassionate, and non-judgmental when you approach her. Ask her if she has fears or misgivings about anal pleasure; she may have concerns about hygiene, safer sex, penetration, and other common issues associated with butt sex. Talk through these issues, and see if you can get to the bottom of her feelings.

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