Jul 132001
 


This is in response to Bryan’s question about hair removal in the anal area. I have had two sessions of laser treatment on my asshole and can say that laser treatment does work. There are some drawbacks, however. Laser treatment can be expensive (about $150 per session) and it takes several (3 or more) sessions to remove most of the hair. Also, if the hair is light-colored, laser treatment is probably not going to have much effect, and you’ll just be wasting your money.

As to the question of pain, there really isn’t that much. It feels like a pin prick. A little ice on the area right before the treatment goes a long way. I would suggest going into your local laser treatment clinic for a consultation. I found out that hair removal on the asshole is fairly common for these folks, and they don’t have any problem doing the procedure.

—Smooth Ass

Thanks for writing in response to one of my previous columns, where Brian asked about hair removal for the butthole. I just love it when readers give each other helpful tips and techniques, so thanks for sharing your experience! For those of you considering the different methods for achieving your own smooth ass, remember that there are several types besides laser treatment. Shaving and waxing are also options, and much less expensive, although not permanent. Plus, shaving can be an erotic scene in addition to fulfilling the practical matter of making one’s little pucker hole hairless. I personally love to shave my ass, and find it very sexy when I let someone else take a sharp razor to my tender hole — it totally turns me on! Whichever method you choose, be careful, use common sense, and enjoy that smooth opening with abandon!

Jun 202001
 


Since I have been old enough to jerk off, I have been attracted to exceptionally buff and athletic women. The first time I ejaculated, I was fourteen and I was watching women’s gymnastics in the summer Olympics on television. Since then, I have desired a non-stereotypically-feminine woman. As my sexual development progressed, I discovered that I wanted such a woman to sodomize me—to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on. I have thought long and hard about this. Buff, athletic women are the most amazing, sexy creatures on the planet.

The desire has remained totally unsatisfied throughout my life. Recently, though, I was able, through some miracle, to go on a couple of dates with this girl who is on the diving team of my university. She is my ideal woman, and I really like her, but I’m afraid if I ask her for anal sex, I will lose a relationship with the sexiest, coolest, sweetest girl I have ever had the chance to be involved with. Help! How do I find out if she would be into anal sex with me? And, if not, how in the world will I ever find another as buff and beautiful as she is that might just be into anal sex with me? This girl is amazing, and I don’t want to lose her, even if that means sticking my thumb up my ass while thinking about her, and settling for strictly vanilla sex with the girl of my dreams.

—Buff Girls Rock My World

Well, it sounds like you really like athletic, assertive, maybe even butch, heterosexual women. I commend you for figuring out the unique type of person that floats your boat (and obviously gets your dick hard). As for seeing if she’s into fucking you in the ass, well, I think you need to take the plunge and ask her. I understand that you don’t want to lose her, but you also want to have your anal desires fulfilled, and those anal desires seem pretty fucking strong to me. So, approach her honestly and in a non-confrontational way, and tell her what you want. Hopefully, she will make all your dreams come true, and strap it on.

Jun 122001
 


I really want to be able to fist myself! I need your advice on how I can do it. I can fit four fingers up, but cannot get past the knuckles at the end of the fingers, therefore I cannot place my thumb in my ass, and so I can’t fist myself. Please help this poor guy, I am desperate!

—Fisting Aficionado

Is it my imagination or are my readers getting wilder and more adventurous since I started this column two years ago? That just puts a big ol’ grin on my face.

Let’s talk about anal fisting. You definitely want to have an enema before your anal fisting adventure so you can be completely cleaned out. Make sure you have an enema at least several hours before the actual fisting to give your body a chance to recover.

As with any form of extreme penetration, there is no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal fisting. In fact, one of the tools I recommend is what I fondly call “the lube gun.” You can use either a stainless steel syringe or a disposable plastic one. Fill it with water-based lube, insert it, and shoot lube up your ass. This will lubricate the anal runway ahead of your hand, so you don’t have to re-lube as often. Because pulling your hand all the way out and re-lubing often breaks your momentum, and can make the rectum sore.

Just like you cannot have enough lube, you can also not have enough warm up. Be patient, and let your ass take its time to open up for something bigger. Use butt plugs or dildos which gradually increase in size; put one in and let it stay in to get your ass relaxed and ready for more. Getting past the knuckles is always the trickiest part. You need to be patient, respect the limits of your body, and go as slow as you need to.

I must say, I don’t know many folks who can fist themselves, but more power to you for getting as far as you have already, and, of course, for wanting even more! It seems to me that fisting yourself is all about body position and flexibility. You are ahead of the game if you’ve already gotten four fingers inside. You didn’t mention the position that you’ve been in, but I think that being on all fours or even squatting would work best.

Now, if you find that you just can’t make it happen, remember that there are some cool dildos on the market which are made to look just like a curled fist. You can find them in gay leather shops and catalogs usually. Having an “extra fist” means you can experiment with lots of different positions, and you aren’t limited by the size of your own hand. Please write back to me, and let me know if you finally do go all the way.

May 192001
 


Help! Though the internet and your column have proved immeasurably helpful in providing the basic foundation of necessary information needed to explore my outrageously kinky side, I am having a difficult time with one specific area of interest. What are the health risks of pissing in someone’s ass? I have read wonderfully exciting accounts (fictional I’m sure) of this activity and cannot wait to explore it myself. But, I am also aware of the problems that can arise from not being well informed. Please, any help, advice, or referrals you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I promise to share the information with as many people as I can find to ensure that your words of wisdom have maximum benefit amongst the ass master population.

—Ass Master Who Likes Golden Showers

Thanks for sharing a common fantasy I hear about a lot. The first issue you’ve got to tackle is this: can you actually accomplish the act of peeing in someone’s ass? Lots of men find that when they have a rock-solid erection (which makes anal penetration much easier), they can’t piss. They need to soften up a bit so they can release their golden nectar. But depending on your cock, letting your hard-on go down a little may prevent you from penetrating your partner’s ass.

Once you’ve addressed that dilemma, now I can answer your questions about the potential risks. Contrary to popular belief, urine isn’t sterile, but it is very clean as far as bodily fluids go, even cleaner than spit. Peeing on someone or in someone’s ass is pretty low risk for the pisser, unless he has any cuts or open wounds on his cock. For the pissee, being peed on or in can be safe, with a few very big exceptions. Hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus (CMV), the genital herpes virus, chlamydia, and gonorrhea may be present in the urine of a person infected with any of these diseases and can be transmitted through the mucous membrane of the rectum or through any microscopic tears in the anal canal or rectum. There is no research (unfortunately) on HIV being transmitted through urine; however, it is possible for the virus to be present in urine, especially if there is blood in the urine.

Remember that whatever you put in a rectum will be instantaneously absorbed into the bloodstream, so a diluted version may be your best bet. And even so, you may get an upset stomach.

If you aren’t sure about your partner’s sexual history or STD and HIV status or your partner isn’t comfortable with getting your urine in her ass, you may want to consider some alternatives. You could pull out and pee on the outside of her body; there are still risks, but they are relatively low if she has no unbroken skin in the area. Be safe and have fun!

May 092001
 


I like to have objects in my ass while I masturbate, but I don’t have a dildo. What kinds of household objects can I use to simulate a penis?

—Fill My Ass

There is a reason that household objects are household objects; they each have a purpose, and it’s not sexual. I am thrilled that you’ve discovered anal penetration as part of your masturbation ritual, but I really don’t want to encourage you to grab the hairbrush, the shampoo bottle, the cucumber, or anything else lying around. Has it been done? Of course, but I don’t condone it usually.

I really recommend that you buy a dildo. You need something with a flared base for anal penetration; it’s an absolute necessity, so the object doesn’t get sucked into your ass or lost somewhere in your rectum. Sex toys were manufactured with sex in mind, they are designed for penetration, and therefore much more ideal for it than a makeshift dong. There are relatively inexpensive dildos on the market, especially the rubber or jelly variety (silicone dicks are much more expensive). But yourself a $15 or $20 dildo, and I promise it is well worth the investment.

Apr 252001
 


What STDs can I get from anal sex? Is it imperative that I wear a condom during anal sex to protect myself from disease? Is it dangerous for a woman to get fucked in her vagina after getting fucked in her ass?

—Condom Curious

The American Medical Women’s Association recommends that you and your partner should be tested for HIV 6 months after you or your partner has had sexual contact with a different partner. During that six-month period, you should practice safer sex. You can contract almost any STD, including herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and HIV, as well as hepatitis, through unprotected analingus and anal penetration with an infected partner.

To reduce your risk, you should use barriers for analingus (rimming) and condoms for anal penetration. Originally designed for use by dentists as the name indicates, dental dams are squares of latex which safer sex practitioners have coopted for use as oral sex barriers. Because they were not developed with sex in mind, dental dams can be too small and too thick to make them ideal. Glyde Dams are a larger, thinner version designed specifically for oral sex which do the job much better than traditional dental dams. They are available at better sex toy stores. To make your own latex dam, you can cut a non-lubricated condom up one side; these tend to be thinner like the Glydes, which allows both partners more feeling and greater sensitivity. You can also transform a latex glove into a dam: cut the wrist and the fingers off, leaving the thumb intact. Open it up, stick your tongue in the thumb slot, and voila — it’s like a condom for your tongue! This is my favorite kind of a dam because it affords both giver and receiver the highest sensitivity. For obvious reasons, it’s best to use a glove that isn’t powdered or to rinse the powder off before you put your mouth near it. Try putting a dab of lube on the inside and outside of the thumb for even more sensitivity.

Store-bought plastic wrap (like Saran Wrap) is not just for leftovers — it also makes a good barrier for rimming. Plastic wrap is less expensive and easier to find than latex dams, which makes it more convenient. Another advantage: trying wrapping your sweetie’s privates in plastic — think of it as a homemade thong. Then you can go to town without having to hold the dam in place. Safe, hands-free ass licking at last!

Putting a latex glove on your hand for finger fucking protects both you and your partner, especially if you have any cuts, scratches or even torn cuticles. Gloves come in several different sizes, and you should make sure that they are well-fitting. A glove that’s too small will cut off your circulation, and one that is too big will feel baggy and uncomfortable inside the receptive partner. You can also wear gloves for other purposes: if your nails are long, sharp or ragged, if you are squeamish about the cleanliness of anal penetration, or if you want to smooth out your fingers before they go inside your lover. If you find that wearing latex gloves irritates your skin, you may be sensitive to the powder that coats the inside, which is common; find an unpowdered glove instead.

As part of safer sex, you should use a condom every time you have either vaginal and anal penetration. In fact, because of the delicacy of anal and rectal tissue, bodily fluids infected with HIV and other viruses are transmitted and absorbed easier and more quickly into the bloodstream through the mucous membrane of the rectum. Thus, unprotected anal intercourse can be more risky for both partners than unprotected vaginal intercourse.

You should never, ever put anything in the vagina that has been in the anus without thoroughly washing and disinfecting it first. Transferring rectal bacteria into the vagina can lead to yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and other ailments which will put a halt to your sex life. Just don’t go there. If you’re likely to want to use the same hand or tool in both the vagina and the anus, or your anus and then your partner’s, that’s a lot of running to the bathroom to wash up each time you want to switch gears. Using a new glove and/or condom each time you switch orifices or activities means less time cleaning and more time fucking.

Apr 102001
 


I, like you, totally love anal sex. I have played with dildos and vibrators, and had lots of fun. I think I want to try a butt plug next. I am wondering if you have any recommendations for good plugs. Do you have a favorite? What should I look for when I buy one?

—Butt Plug Beginner

The traditional shape of a butt plug looks like a tear drop with a thicker bottom or a skinny pear shape. There are variations on the shape, including a lopsided diamond shape and a bulbous head with a long neck. Above the wide flared base, the plug’s neck has the smallest circumference, designed to allow the sphincter muscles to close around it. Butt plugs may be smooth or textured with ridges, ripples, rings, or bumps. Butt plugs are usually made of latex rubber or silicone; there are also clear acrylic (similar to Lucite), glass, wood, ceramic, and even metal plugs, but they are for more experienced anal players. Butt plugs come in a whole bunch of sizes, and remember that it is always best to start small and work your way up.

If you like the feeling of something just being in your ass, and appreciate the fullness and pressure without necessarily moving in and out, than you would probably love a butt plug. Butt plugs are meant to go in and stay in. Once you slowly slide a well-lubed plug inside the ass, you can then move on to something else — clitoral stimulation, a blow job, vaginal penetration, whatever you’d like — and the butt plug will continue to stimulate without a lot of work on your part. If you have a butt plug in, you may find that when you get really aroused or during orgasm, the plug inadvertently slips (or even shoots!) right out of your ass. While this may be surprising or embarrassing, don’t be alarmed, it’s pretty common. Remember that during arousal, your genital muscles contract, and those contractions may actually push a plug out of your ass. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the plug is too small and you need to run out and upgrade — it’s just a signal that you were very turned on!

Butt plugs are also a great way to warm up the ass for bigger things to come. Putting in a plug and leaving it in for a while lets the ass get used to having something inside it. The ass opens up and relaxes around it, and when you take it out, you’re ready to move on to something more.

Whatever kind of plug you select, it must have one important feature: a flared base. Perhaps you have heard rumors about people “losing” objects in their rectums and rushing to the emergency room. Or maybe you’ve seen one of several web sites which document X-rays of different items people have put in their rectums. While part of this is pure urban legend, the truth is you can get something lost in your ass if you aren’t careful. Once you are aroused, your pelvic muscles contract, and this could cause your ass to “suck” something all the way inside it. The best way to prevent your own trip to the ER is to use a toy with a flared base since the base will prevent it from going beyond the rectum and into the colon.

Mar 222001
 


It’s wonderful that you are so pro-anally inclined. I am a connoisseur of fine posteriors (my wife’s being on top of the list — sorry, don’t feel bad!). We watched your video,
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and enjoyed it very much. As I was trying to coax my wife into the act, somehow, she tightened up and it became a painful ordeal. We’ve had anal sex before, and she enjoys plugs in her butt when we are having vaginal sex. But she can’t take my turgid member as frequently as I would like.

—Help My Turgid Member

Glad to hear that you worship your wife’s ass. Now, you need to take a little extra care so that both of you can enjoy anal sex. First of all, if she’s experiencing pain during penetration, there may be several different causes. In general, you need to concentrate on giving her a lot of foreplay before you move on to putting your dick in her ass. Use your fingers, then a dildo smaller than your dick, and let her get used to that first. Go slow, and make sure everything feels good to her before graduating to more fingers or a bigger toy. If she experiences discomfort or pain, there may be too much friction. Add some more lube, and see if it feels better when you slide back in. Or you could stop the movement of your finger or the toy, but stay inside; see if the pain subsides. If she’s still hurting, stop penetration altogether and focus on more external stimulation — a hand job, oral sex, more foreplay.

Let her know that she’s the one in control of the situation, and if she needs to, stop the activity altogether. She needs to relax, take some deep breaths, listen to her body, and tell you when she’s ready. After she is warmed-up and ready for your cock, lubricate your turgid member and re-lube her ass. Place your cock at her anal opening and hold it with your hand to help you guide it. Now, you have a few options:

  1. Have her move her body toward your cock (forward or backward depending on your positions), while you guide it inside.
  2. Rub your cock against her opening. This external stimulation should relax the anus. As the sphincter muscles contract, the opening appears to “wink” at you. As it winks open, take the opportunity to slide in.
  3. Press your cock against her opening and gently push against it (she may want to either relax or bear down in order to let you inside).
  4. Penetrate her ass with your finger, withdraw it, and while her anus is open, gently insert your penis.

Have her stimulate her clit as you penetrate her. This will relax and arouse her, making penetration easier. Deep breathing will help her relax and concentrate on opening her ass to you as well as circulating blood to her genitals. (Taking shallow breaths tightens the muscles and inhibits the engorgement process.) If you’re having trouble hitting your intended target (hey, those two holes are close together and it’s slippery with all that lube), have her wrap her fingers around the head of your cock and help to guide you inside her ass.

When you first get inside her ass, don’t go too deep. Again, you want to give her ass an opportunity to get used to your penis. Keep your movements slow, gentle, and subtle at first. When she’s ready, you can venture farther inside and start some slow thrusting. She should tell you if she wants you to go deeper or faster or both. Then, it’s simply a matter of exploring what feels good for both of you.

Mar 052001
 


I dated a woman for three years. We had a wonderful, rich, loving sex life. We had a lot of anal play, and we both enjoyed giving and receiving. I am ready to start dating again, and I am worried about anal sex. I like it, but I know not everyone does. I have been told (and I know it is true in my case) that a lover who really cares about me will want to fulfill my sexual desires, but the idea of “pushing” anal sex on anyone makes me nervous. At the same time, I like it.

When I dated this woman, we started slow and gentle (and very caring), and after a year or so, we were using handcuffs, talking nasty — for fun. I want to love a person first, and the sex second, but I am afraid I won’t get what I want. I have a feeling you are going to tell me that I am reasonably normal, and that I shouldn’t worry about it. If that is the case, fine, but I need to be told by someone knowledgeable in the field.

—Loving Anal Slut

You’re right, you are a reasonably normal guy, a reasonably normal guy who happens to really like anal sex. It sounds like your three-year relationship was very fulfilling for you, and that you approached anal sex in the right way, with plenty of love, communication, and patience (and lube, I hope!).

I think it’s absolutely okay that you want anal sex to be a part of your next intimate relationship. Your desire for buttfucking is obviously part of what makes you tick sexually, and bravo to you for identifying it and owning up to it. But I see your dilemma: what if you find the perfect girl and she’s not gung ho about you doing her bunghole? Well, presumably you are looking for a mate who has a similarly liberal and adventurous attitude about sexuality as you do; if you like anal play, bondage, and dirty talk, you obviously need a partner who’s inclined toward experimentation beyond the missionary position. As you date and hunt around for a new relationship, be confident in who you are and what you like, and be honest with your partners. I find that since I’ve gotten seriously into anal sex, I have not landed in bed with anyone who isn’t into some backdoor lovin’. I’m obviously putting some kind of vibe out there that people are picking up on, and I find that I tend to be attracted to people with whom I am very sexually compatible. Rather than feeling worried, obsessed, or even a little guilty about your anal desires, why not embrace them fully? Once you do, you have a greater chance of attracting women who will not only fulfill your desires, but may even exceed your wildest expectations!

Feb 232001
 


My boyfriend and I have been exploring anal sex together, and it’s been really great. We have come together, and it is totally awesome. A couple of times, I have come before him, and my insides feel as though he is doing damage. If I come before my husband does during anal, why is it that it hurts for him to continue thrusting to his climax? It is really a mood breaker for us both, especially if he hasn’t come yet. It’s like I want his cock out of me right that very minute. What can I do (besides not coming) to maintain the comfort and pleasure waiting for him to shoot his load?

—Early Cummer

I get so many letters about people being shy or scared about anal sex or having trouble making it work. Every woman should be so lucky to have your problem!

One explanation for this feeling is that your ass, like your pussy, has contractions during orgasm. After you climax, all the blood that rushed to your genital area disperses, and your ass returns to its non-aroused state (which doesn’t want a cock inside it).

Well, I’ve have first-hand experience with your particular dilemma; I too sometimes come first and find it difficult to go on. So, what can you do about it? Well, you already identified one option, which is to delay your orgasm until after his climax. That way, you extend your pleasure for even longer, and don’t have any discomfort. But, you indicated that you want another strategy. Well, one thing to consider is, after you come, have him slow down his movement or even stop thrusting, but still stay in your ass. Take a few minutes to recover from your mind-blowing orgasm, then concentrate on relaxing your ass and taking lots of deep breaths. Keep your mind on the pleasure and not on the fear that he might be “doing damage,” which will definitely help you relax. To extend your arousal, play with your pussy and clit, and have him slowly resume his in-and-out. Continue to breath deeply, work your clit, and relax your ass. As he pumps your ass, talk to him and let him know how it feels. Hopefully, you can have a second orgasm in the process!