Oct 112005

Recently, my husband and I have stopped drinking. In the past, while intoxicated, my husband’s cock was much easier to take in my ass and even pleasurable. Now, I have a difficult time relaxing. Even when I do relax, there is a burning sensation that I cannot seem to get past, which makes me tense up even more. We are using plenty of lube in addition to my husband starting off with oral and a finger. Please help!

–Sober and Sidelined

I am not going to deny that people combine alcohol and/or drugs with anal sex in order to relax, lower their inhibitions, and let go a little. However, the same drinks and drugs that can help you let your hair down can also affect your judgment and your ability to honor your own boundaries. When people write to me and say, “I can only have anal sex if I’ve had five drinks,” I shake my head. I think it’s really important for people to be present and very connected to their bodies in order to fully enjoy anal play.

I suspect that part of what may be going on is that you were used to having anal sex while you were drunk and you’re stuck on that being the only way you can enjoy it. Maybe you’ve never experienced great anal sex sober, and your anxiety about what it might feel like if you’re not tipsy makes you tense. That tension leads to pain, and it becomes a vicious cycle. Cut yourself some slack and take a step back. Maybe you’ve got to start back at square one, and not progress to a cock until you can fully enjoy fingers or small toys. I think you should embrace your new sobriety and the opportunity to have new kinds of sexual experiences, and, most importantly, take your time.

Mar 102005

My husband and I routinely do anal play together, and he is tempted to try pouring alcohol into my ass, like wine or vodka. Is it possible to get drunk by ingesting alcohol through one’s ass? Are there any implications from putting alcohol in one’s ass?

–Drunken Asswoman

Not only is it possible to get drunk by having any kind of alcoholic beverage poured into your ass, it’s inevitable. When you drink a glass of wine or vodka, it has the benefit of passing through your stomach and liver, where it’s broken down by enzymes before entering the bloodstream. However, because of the absorptive capacity of the rectum and colon, when you absorb alcohol through your ass, it goes directly into your bloodstream. This means that a much smaller amount will make you very drunk. It’s very dangerous to ingest alcohol the way you describe (essentially via an alcohol enema) and could even result in alcohol poisoning. If you want to drink, do it with your mouth. If you want an enema, use plain warm water.