Jun 242013
 

The final scene in my Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples is between Asa Akira and Derrick Pierce, and people who know my work won’t be surprised that it celebrates the butt! It starts out with a sexy spanking, where Derrick first uses his hand, then a fur covered paddle.

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Since the release of Fifty Shades of Grey, sales of Kegel balls (also known as Ben Wa balls or smart balls) have been off the charts. But I haven’t really seen them used in sex ed or porn movies. I think people are really curious about this toy, so I wanted to incorporate it into a scene in this movie. When I was showing Asa all the toys I brought to set, I asked her about using the Luna Beads by Lelo. Asa’s first response was something like, “Oh, little balls, aren’t those quaint.”

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If you’ve seen what Asa’s orifices are capable of taking, you too might think that she’s way beyond Kegel balls. I told her “Let’s give them a try. If you don’t like them, you can always just stop.” Well as it turns out, when the balls were inside her pussy and Derrick spanked her, the balls jostled, which made them feel like they were vibrating, right against her G-spot—and that really turned her on. I loved to see her real reaction—her surprise at how much she liked them. (Oh and when their scene was over, she was ready to take the Luna Beads by Lelo home! Of course I said yes.)

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Then they got into some great anal play, with two different butt plugs, including a cool metal one. Derrick fucked her in the ass and made her beg to come, which was easy for her to do with a vibrator on her clit. Derrick is an incredible dominant, and his interviews throughout the film really speak to how thoughtful he is about what it means to do dominant/submissive roleplay. He’s smart and thinks a lot about what his partner wants and how to craft a scene to give her a particular experience. So, I feel like aspiring dominants can learn a lot from him.

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Asa is obviously a major star in the adult industry, but she’s also really down to earth and embodies a powerful submissive who knows what she wants. Together in their scene, their chemistry was just off the charts. I’ve seen Derrick turned on before because I’ve worked with him many times, but there was a heat to this pairing that everyone in the room felt.

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Jun 212013
 

It’s important to show a diversity of power dyanmics in kinky sex, so I definitely wanted to represent female dominance and male submission in my Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples.

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Aiden Starr is one of the most gifted dominants I know, so when I called her, I was curious about who she wanted to work with. She picked Christian, who is the go-to guy in porn for all things kinky and alternative. Plus, it’s perfect because Christian is the name of the dominant character in Fifty Shades of Grey, so I like the idea that we’re flipping that around. Aiden is the mistress of dirty talk and verbal domination, which really bring all her roleplay scenes to life. Christian works out so much that we only had one collar that would fit around his neck! (I realized too late that we could have snapped together two bondage cuffs and made them into a collar.)

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Aiden takes charge with such confidence and sexiness—she’s a great role model for women who want to explore their dominant sides. She’s tiny and quiet, yet she commands attention easily. When she says she is going to use Christian’s cock for her own pleasure, she doesn’t disappoint. He’s one of the only guys I know who can actually come on command, so it’s really hot when she makes him do it.

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They came up with the end of the scene themselves, where Aiden uses a vibrator to make herself come, just out of reach of Christian. He just had to watch without touching.

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Jun 202013
 

I’ve shot Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone together before (in Chemistry 4, The Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio, and Rough Sex 3: Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind) and they have one of the best connections of any pair I’ve directed. They just seem to really get each other, and they embody great verbal and non-verbal communication skills; that made them perfect for my Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples.

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Shooting with them is always fun. Evan arrived on set early (!) so as Adrianna was finishing makeup, Evan and I shot some BTS footage of one of the more peculiar things I’ve seen at a location house: a HUGE collection of Christmas nutcrackers. He helped me move them from the foyer downstairs (so none would get accidentally knocked over or broken). Then he took a shower, which is a thing he does before scenes. When we started to roll, Evan put Adrianna in bondage cuffs, tethered her to the bed, and she really dropped into the role of his willing captive right away.

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Adrianna loves nipple clamps and we had this cool pair from the Sportsheets’ Sex and Mischief line, the kind with marabou feathers on them. The feathers on the clamps looked gorgeous against her pale skin. Before we shot the scene, we all talked about how it would go and agreed that Evan would do a lot of orgasm control and teasing.

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Once they got into it, Evan was having so much fun he abandoned that idea—he just couldn’t withhold the Magic Wand vibrator or the resulting orgasms from Adrianna! He’s not the strictest of dominants when you leave him to his own devices.

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That day, we also had special visitors on the set: a couple who won the chance to visit my set in a charity auction. They got to meet Adrianna and Evan and watch the scene from start to finish and were just blown away. Afterwards, they got their pictures taken with Adrianna and Evan in front of a Christmas tree. It was pretty cute.

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Jun 192013
 

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Swedish filmmaker Erika Lust comes to Sex Out Loud this Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET, all the way from Barcelona. Erika Lust will discuss how she saw a void for women’s voices in a male-driven mainstream porn industry and set out to create waves in adult cinema by envisioning a different kind of porn. She’ll discuss her popular first film The Good Girl, the erotic documentary Barcelona Sex Project, as well as Cabaret Desire, her most ambitious and personal film to date. Lust will discuss why she believes in the importance of porn that is produced and directed by women and give us details about her new project coming soon, XConfessions.

Erika Lust, born in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1977, is an independent filmmaker, author, and founder of Erika Lust Films. After graduating from Lund University with a degree in Political Science with a focus on Feminism, Lust moved to Barcelona, where her production company was established in 2005. She has directed four award-winning erotic films – Five Hot Stories for Her, Barcelona Sex Project, Life Love Lust, and Cabaret Desire, as well as some shorts – and is currently working on her fifth. Her written works include Good Porn: a Woman’s Guide, The Erotic Bible to Europe, Love Me Like You Hate Me and La Canción de Nora. Lust is committed to forging a new concept of sexual expression: pledging, in her own words, “to create new waves in adult cinema, to show all of the passion, intimacy, love and lust in sex: where the feminine viewpoint is vital, the aesthetic is a pleasure to all of the senses and those seeking an alternative to porn can find a home.”

Jun 192013
 

I had a blast directing my new sex education film for Adam & Eve called Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples. It stars Lyla Storm, Danny Wylde, Adrianna Nicole, Evan Stone, Aiden Starr, Christian, Asa Akira and Derrick Pierce. I want to share a few behind-the-scenes stories about filming each scene. You can also watch the trailer here.

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The first scene features Lyla Storm and Danny Wylde, and it was the first time they’ve ever worked together. As a director, that’s always a gamble, but they both were really interested in working with the other one, so I cast them. Luckily, they had great chemistry immediately. There is something so sweet and amazing about capturing a couple’s first sexual experience together. We saw lots of genuine moments where they talked to each other about what they liked and spent time just discovering each other’s bodies. Lyla’s great because she’s not a lie-down-surrender-and-take-it kind of submissive. She’s more like, “Okay I am going to agree to play this role and have fun, but I’m a little bossy and bratty and that part of me isn’t going anywhere.” So, Danny had to work a little to get her to do what he wanted, and this made for an entertaining dynamic.

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He blindfolded Lyla right off the bat, and it was fun to see him surprise her with various sensations when she had no idea what was coming, including a feather tickler. He then brushed Kama Sutra edible body dust on her chest and other edible goodies on her nipples. I’m not sure how the dust will read to viewers because it looks a little like flour, but it smells and tastes really good. Of course, the whole crew had to sample it!

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Massage oil candles are one of my favorite toys we use in the movie. These candles burn at a low temperature so they’re safe and easy to use. After you pour the hot wax on your partner’s body, you massage it in and it dissolves into oil. As part of their roleplay, Danny decided to make a game out of it and balance the massage oil candle, which is in a tin container, on Lyla’s back and tell her she couldn’t move very much or the candle might fall over and spill. It was a cool element, entirely unscripted, but it totally worked. Danny teased her about it, and it built anticipation and tension.

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Then, after he poured the hot wax on her skin and rubbed it in, they both got caught up in the moment. He started to fuck her and they were really into it. Danny distractedly sort of moved the candle, which was still lit, to one side on the bed. All I could think was, um, if that slides even a little, the sheets are going to catch on fire! So I swooped in and grabbed the candle. They were in their own world and blissfully unaware that there was still an open flame right next to them. Luckily, there was no fire and they just kept going! I always bring a bunch of different vibrators to the set, and Lyla picked the We Vibe Touch vibrator; it was so quiet, I could barely hear it. But, trust me, it was working.

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Jun 182013
 

A participant practices her electrical play skills during the pro course

“The class was intense, amazing, fun and of course, extremely educational. From new techniques to spirituality, every subject was touched upon and discussed in a comfortable and non-judgemental way. I would highly recommend this class to anyone, from the seasoned pro to the novice.” ~ Mistress Chun Jae-Min, San Francisco (more pro testimonials)

Erotic Dominance Intensives: the Pro Course – Now In its 12th year!

This powerful and intimate three day workshop is for women with personal interest and experience in BDSM who want to hone their techniques and find their very own ethical style as professional Dominas. This Intensive will deepen your understanding of fetishes and appreciation of kink, including your own!

Who Dominatrix Training is For

You may already be a Professional Domme and wish to acquire new skills and refresh your style. Or you may be a private player wanting professional Mistress skills. In this powerful workshop you will learn much, not only from instructors but also from the combined experience of the other participants and the Academy’s seasoned male bottoms.

Major Subject Areas

  • Psychology and physicality of BDSM
  • Finding your authentic professional Dominant Persona
  • Scene dynamics: developing the scene, making it work, and what to do if it doesn’t
  • Understanding fetishes and how to use them as a Mistress
  • Expanding limits: yours and your client’s
  • BDSM play as a path to empowerment for you and your clients
  • Boundaries and ethics
  • Managing your business (legalities, taxes, marketing and more!)

Tuition | What it Covers

$900, covers the following:

  • 3 full days of lectures, demonstrations, hands-on exercises and real time scenes
  • Group and one-on-one instruction
  • Experienced volunteer bottoms
  • Snacks and beverages
  • Seminar and Q/A time for each subject area
  • Comprehensive workbook (100+ pages)

Improve your professional practice as a FemDom with hands-on BDSM skills training and business and marketing strategies that will make you a Domina everyone respects!

Questions?

Visit our FAQ page. Or call Cléo at 650.322.0124.

Next Course

The Dominatrix Training Intensive August 16-18, 2013 will fill up!  Click here to enroll.

Jun 152013
 

I was so sad to hear of Jack Morin’s passing. He was a true innovator and the author of two of the most important books on sexuality: Anal Pleasure and Health and The Erotic Mind. When I found out that Morin was dying, I wrote him this letter. I am sharing it here to celebrate his amazing life.

Dear Jack,

There really aren’t enough words to describe just how important your work in the field of sexuality is, but words are all I’ve got, so that’s what I’ll go with. I feel like none of my work could exist without yours. When it comes to anal sex and anal health education, obviously, you wrote the book. But it goes far beyond that: you broke the ground, you blazed the trail, you opened up the discussion, and you boldly put your name on all of it at a time when no one was talking about this taboo subject. By doing so, you made so many things possible. Anal Pleasure and Health has a pivotal place in the history of sexuality and sex education in the last century, and I am forever grateful that you wrote it. I still have my copy of what I think is the first or second edition, the one I read in the early nineties, with its dented baby blue cover and pages all marked up. I was interviewed last month for a full page article in Glamour magazine about anal sex, and that’s just one example of the tremendous cultural shift that’s happened in the dialogue about anal pleasure. You made that happen, basically. It all comes back to you. You made it possible for my book—and countless other books, articles, websites, videos, and workshops that discuss anal sex—to exist.

You’ve left a legacy of shame-free, sex-positive, holistic, pioneering work on anal pleasure. It inspired me to write my book. And I know it has inspired thousands and thousands of people to explore anal pleasure in their lives. And that’s just one of so many things you’ve done in your career. You are a leader and a light in the field of sex education. From the bottom of my heart, I want to express my gratitude, my respect, and my awe for everything you’ve done to make this world a better place. I promise to honor you by taking the torch you lit and setting the motherfucking world on fire. I’ll do my best, anyway.

Jun 112013
 

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This week’s episode of Sex Out Loud features our final interview from the CatalystCon series with Francisco Ramirez, known for giving Free Sex Advice on the streets in NYC every week, answering questions about relationships, sex, and dating. He’ll discuss the inspiration for his project, how he’s turning people’s stories into a podcast, and the phone app he’s developing. Then, Airial Clark, known for her site TheSexPositiveParent.com, will be interviewed live in the second half of the show. Clark has created sex education curriculum and led workshops where she provides parents and caregivers the tools they need to become the resident sexuality expert for their families.

This second half of this week’s show is live, so find out all the ways to listen here and you can call in with questions at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or even e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air!

Francisco Ramirez holds a Master of Public Health (concentration in sexuality) from Columbia University. For 15 years, Francisco has addressed the sexual health needs of diverse communities worldwide. He is a long-term consultant at the United Nations and has led multi-lingual education initiatives for: the UN, MTV Networks, Planned Parenthood, New York Academy of Medicine, and the NAACP. Since 2008 Francisco has offered Free Advice on sex to passersby in NYC parks. He is a prominent voice in the media on sex. At MTV Voices and MTV Staying Alive, he is an on-camera host and producer of sex-related content. In 2010 he guest-hosted the Savage LoveCast with Dan Savage. Currently, he is developing an original TV series and co-hosting a forthcoming web series on sex. Francisco lectures at universities and is creating a mobile app focused on sex ed. Francisco has worked in over 10 countries and is based in NYC.

Airial Clark, M.A is the founder of The Sex-Positive Parent. She has a Master’s degree in Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State and also a rambunctious single-parent of two teenage sons. Airial graduated from UC Berkeley in 2007 with a BA in English Literature and Anthropology. She is a contributing writer for the San Francisco Bay Guardian, Oakland Local, Good Vibrations Magazine, the Sex Positive Photo Project of the SF Bay Area and Shades Magazine. Airial presented her graduate level research on the intersections of race, non-monogamy and parenting at the Open SF conference and will be presenting two sessions at this year’s CatalysCon West. Airial sees the mission of her work to provide strategies and support for sex-positive parenting; specializing in community building for parents with alternative sexualities. She leads parent-education workshops, provides one-on-one parent coaching and consults other sex educators on how to include parents in their work.

Jun 052013
 

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This Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET, a new episode of Sex Out Loud is taking on an unexpected topic. Internationally accredited, widely-published investigative reporter Eric Francis Coppolino offers a clear, original analysis of world events through the lens of astrology. He’s been reporting on breaking news stories as an astrologer since 1995 and last year Francis called on astrologers at the United Astrology Conference to start including more sex and relationship education to their work. Tristan will talk to Eric Francis about his work, sex-positive chart readings, polyamory, and more. Be prepared to have your views and assumptions on astrology expanded and challenged!

Eric Francis is the founder of Planet Waves, the sexpositive astrology website, and the author of Book of Blue, an erotic memoir told in photos and essays. He hosts Planet Waves FM, which is webcast at www.PlanetWaves.fm. Tristan appeared as a guest on Planet Waves on May 1, 2013, you can listen to the interview here.