blog – Page 21 – Pucker Up

Anal Advisor: Anal + Ejaculation = Cancer?

Feb 202013

It’s embarrassing for me to write this letter to you because this is the first time I will admit to anyone that my husband and I have anal sex. I actually am getting past the pain, and learning to enjoy it. A friend told me that you can eventually get colon cancer and other things from letting a man come inside your butt, is this true?

–A Little Scared

Please don’t be embarrassed by your admission and know that there are tons of other people having anal sex out there! Let’s talk about the risks of a man ejaculating inside your ass. The ass is made of delicate tissue that can have minute tears in it, allowing easy access to the bloodstream. If you are monogamous and he has tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), then he can come in your ass. If you are not monogamous or don’t know his STD status, then, by having unprotected anal sex and ejaculating in your ass, he can transmit gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, human papilloma virus (HPV) also called anal warts, HIV, or hepatitis.

There isn’t any definitive link between semen in your butt and colon cancer. However, according to the National Cancer Institute, contracting HPV in the ass (anal warts) can increase your chances of colon cancer. Some studies suggest that other STDs and trauma to the anal canal and rectum — the kind that would result from not using lube or warming the ass up properly — can also lead to rectal or colon cancer.

Feb 22: Christopher Ryan on the History of Human Sexuality and the Future of Ethical Non-Monogamy

Feb 192013

christopher ryan

This Friday on Sex Out Loud at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT, I’m live with Christopher Ryan, the renegade researcher behind the New York Times bestseller, Sex At Dawn, a controversial, idea-driven book that challenges everything you know about sex, marriage, family, and society. We’ll discuss the ideas behind the book including monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics, as well as his latest project, KoTango.com. Kotango is an ethical non-monogamy site, a global community dedicated to modern relationships, and the culture that surrounds them.

Christopher Ryan received a BA in English and American literature in 1984 and an MA and Ph.D. in psychology from Saybrook University, in San Francisco, CA twenty years later. He spent the intervening decades traveling around the world, living in unexpected places working at very odd jobs (e.g., gutting salmon in Alaska, teaching English to prostitutes in Bangkok and self-defense to land-reform activists in Mexico, managing commercial real-estate in New York’s Diamond District, helping Spanish physicians publish their research, Ebonics to English translation for a Spanish film festival…). Along the way, he decided to pursue doctoral studies in psychology. Drawing upon his multi-cultural experience, Christopher’s research focused on trying to distinguish the human from the cultural. His doctoral dissertation analyzes the prehistoric roots of human sexuality, and was guided by the world-renowned psychologist, Stanley Krippner.

Christopher has lectured at the University of Barcelona Medical School, consulted at various hospitals, contributed to publications ranging from Behavioral and Brain Sciences (Cambridge University Press) to a textbook used in medical schools and teaching hospitals throughout Spain and Latin America. He’s been featured in major national media, both conventional (e.g., MSNBC, Canada’s CBC-TV, Oprah Radio, CNN, NPR, The Washington Post, Time, Newsweek, The Atlantic, Outside magazine) and Internet-based (e.g., Salon.com, Seed.com, Big Think, and Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish blog over a dozen times). He and his work have also appeared in many international newspapers (e.g., The Times of London, Toronto Globe and Mail, Israel’s Ha’aretz, The Sydney Morning Herald, SonntagsBlick) and television (U.S., Spain, Russia, Canada, Australia).

Feb 15: Celine Parreñas-Shimizu, Constance Penley, and Mireille Miller-Young on The Feminist Porn Book, plus Claire Potter on the Feminine Mystique Symposium

Feb 122013

This week on Sex Out Loud I celebrate the release of The Feminist Porn Book, a new book I co-edited. The Feminist Porn Book brings together for the first time writings by feminists in the adult industry and research by feminist porn scholars, and this week on Sex Out Loud I’ll be talking to my co-editors – Celine Parreñas-Shimizu, Constance Penley, and Mireille Miller-Young – about our 5 year journey to get the collection published. This book investigates not only how feminists understand pornography, but also how feminists do porn—that is, direct, act in, produce, and consume one of the world’s most lucrative and growing industries. Then I’ll talk to Claire Potter about REACT: THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE AT 50, an upcoming two-day symposium and exhibition on Betty Friedan’s groundbreaking book.

Celine photo Celine Parreñas Shimizu teachs film and performance theory and production as Professor of Asian American, Comparative Literature, Feminist Studies and Film and Media Studies at the University of California at Santa Barbara. She is part of a decades long history of race and media production in the U.C. system. She is the author of the award-winning book The Hypersexuality of Race: Performing Asian/American Women on Screen and Scene (Duke University Press, 2007) and Straitjacket Sexualities: Unbinding Asian American Manhoods in the Movies (Stanford University Press, 2012). Her first feature documentary Birthright: Mothering across Difference (2009) won Best Feature Documentary at the Big Mini DV Festival in 2009. Her films The Fact of Asian Women (2004), Super Flip (1997), and Mahal Means Love and Expensive are distributed by Progressive Films and Her Uprooting Plants Her (1995) is distributed by Third World Newsreel. Her numerous articles are included in the journals Concentric, The Journal of Asian American Studies, Signs, The Yale Journal of Law and Feminism, Wide Angle and Theatre Journal.

Mireille Miller-Young, Ph.D., is Associate Professor of Feminist Studies at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She researches and teaches about race, gender, and sexuality in popular culture and the sex industries. Her forthcoming manuscript, A Taste for Brown Sugar: Black Women, Sex Work, and Pornography (Duke University Press) examines African American women’s sex work in the porn industry.

Penley-Constance-low-res_0002 Constance Penley is Professor of Film and Media Studies and Co-Director of the Carsey-Wolf Center at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She received her Ph.D. from the University of California, Berkeley, and studied at the Ecole des Hautes Etudes en Sciences Sociales. Her major areas of research interest are film history and theory, feminist theory, cultural studies, contemporary art, and science and technology studies. She is a founding editor of Camera Obscura: Feminism, Media, Cultural Studies and editor or co-editor of the influential collections Feminism and Film Theory, Male Trouble, Technoculture, The Visible Woman: Imaging Technologies, Science and Gender, and The Feminist Porn Book. Her books include The Future of an Illusion: Film, Feminism, and Psychoanalysis, NASA/TREK: Popular Science and Sex in America, and the forthcoming Teaching Pornography. Her collaborative art projects include MELROSE SPACE: Primetime Art by the GALA Committee and Biospheria: An Environmental Opera. Penley is a recipient of the MacArthur Foundation Digital Media and Learning Award and the Kenneth Burke Society Prize for Excellence in Rhetorical Studies.

claire potter Claire Bond Potter has been Professor of History at The New School for Public Engagement since 2012. Prior to that I worked at Wesleyan University. I am currently writing a political history of anti-pornography campaigns, Sex in Public: Feminism, the Reagan Revolution and the Politics of Pornography, 1968-2000 (due to be completed in 2014.) I received my BA in English Literature from Yale University and my Ph.D. in History from New York University. I am the author of War on Crime: Bandits, G-Men and the Politics of Mass Culture (Rutgers University Press, 1998) and an editor, with Renee Romano, of Doing Recent History: On Privacy, Copyright, Video Games, Institutional Review Boards, Activist Scholarship, and History That Talks Back (University of Georgia Press, 2012). Since 2007 I have blogged at Tenured Radical, which moved to The Chronicle of Higher Education in July 2011.

Feb 8: Paul Joannides and the Guide to Getting It On

Feb 052013

This Friday a 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT on Sex Out Loud, I interview author, speaker, and researcher Paul Joannides about the newest edition of his successful book, The Guide to Getting it On: A Book About the Wonders of Sex. The book has become wildly popular amongst students and college classes (and even Oprah Magazine) since first being published in 1996 and we’ll learn about Paul’s journey to get it published. We’ll also discuss what’s been added to the 7th edition and what he’s been learning from the anonymous sex surveys he currently collects through his website, GoofyFootPress.com.

Paul Joannides is a research psychoanalyst. In addition to being the author of the Guide To Getting It On, he is on the editorial board of the Journal of Sexual Medicine and he was formerly on the editorial board of the American Journal of Sexuality Education. He is an NCAA approved speaker for college athletes on sex. When he’s not writing, he’s a speaker on college campuses about sexuality. The Guide To Getting It On is now in its 7th edition and is used in more than 50 college sex-education courses and in medical schools. For the past year, he has done a daily broadcast for Playboy radio called “90 Seconds on Sex“.

Feb 1: Jennifer Pritchett and Clare Jacky of The Smitten Kitten Talk Sex Toys

Jan 282013

This week on Sex Out Loud I talk to two of the leading experts in the sex toy industry from The Smitten Kitten: founder Jennifer Pritchett and general manager Clare Jacky. What is a toxic sex toy? What are phthalates and why are they bad? How do consumers find out what a sex toy is made of? What is The Smitten Kitten’s philosophy about safe sex toys? They discuss the organization Jennifer founded, the Coalition Against Toxic Toys, new products and trends in the sex toy industry, and Clare’s report from the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo. Plus, Jennifer and Clare give their recommendations for some of their personal favorite toys and great Valentine’s Day gifts.

The Smitten Kitten is a hub of community activity. We consider ourselves sex-positive culture makers and community members. When we opened in 2003, there were only a handful of places like this in the country—in the world even. We were tired of scouring the internet for helpful and relevant information about sex, and we were totally exhausted by shopping online for toys and supplies that too often ended up being disappointing. So, for the better of our own sex lives, we opened our own sex toy store. What you’ll find at Smitten Kitten today is the place we wish we had when we were first adult retail consumers ourselves. Our store is welcoming. The folks who work here are friendly and honestly helpful. The products that we sell are well-researched, are good quality, and represent the best value in their class. Read some of our reviews online and you’ll see that it’s not only us who think we’re doing a pretty good job. What you will
find are wholesome, sexy Midwestern folks and visitors of all ages, races, abilities, sexual orientations, and genders shopping with common purpose: a happier, healthier, sexier and more inspiring love life.

Porn stars and the naked truth: Women in the industry are healthy rather than exploited, claims new study

Jan 272013

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The Journal of Sex Research published the findings of a new study that may surprise people who have held onto certain stereotypes about porn stars.

Adult entertainers were found to have higher self-esteem, a better quality of life and body image, and to be more positive, with greater levels of spirituality. They also had higher levels of sexual satisfaction and, perhaps unsurprisingly, many more partners than other women.

Read the article summarizing the study here:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/porn-stars-and-the-naked-truth-8348388.html

Radical Perspectives on Sex // CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

Jan 242013

This call for submissions comes from @lastellanera at theyaretoremindme.tumblr.com so you can reblog from there, but I’ve also pasted all the information you need below:

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So I’m trying to put together a publication on radical perspectives on sex/porn/sex work/kink that goes beyond the basic sex-posi feel-goodness, isn’t just a glossary, examines things from a variety of radical angles.

E.g., i’m co-writing a piece on the place of porn & kink “before and after the rev”* – what is problematic about porn & kink, what is functional-in-current-social-conditions about porn & kink, and what aspects of porn & kink would survive if systems of power/oppression were minimal/nonexistent.

I’m really looking for whatever people have to say from a radical & feminist or womanist perspective. It doesn’t have to be from an explicitly sex-pos standpoint, and can range from personal narrative to art to analysis/critique.

All sorts of printable media welcome.

I’m especially interested in featuring work by queers, people of color, trans* folk, disabled folks, and women.

If you’re interested, please get at my inbox or email me at lastellanera [at] gmail [dot] com

*”before the rev”= current white-supremacist/classist/misogynist/etc. society
“after the rev” = systems of power/oppression are minimal/nonexistent/destroyed

Please repost!

Anal Advisor: Curious in Australia

Jan 242013

My monogamous partner and I are just getting farther into anal exploration. We have done some toy excursions of the smaller persuasions and are working our way up. I am looking forward to some penis penetration when we are ready, which brings me to my question. I ran across a product called Innuendo Anal Conditioning Gel from New Zealand. I see it offered in several respectable online sex toy boutiques, but I cannot find a review from anyone, only a description from the company that makes it, which obviously is biased! It claims to heighten sensation, while relaxing the tissues of the anus for easier penetration. Have you heard of it or used it? Do you recommend it?

–Curious in Australia

The makers of Innuendo don’t list the actual ingredients of the product on their website; they only say it’s a blend of herbs and contains Lavender, Muira Puama, Damiana, Licorice, Vanilla, Frankincence, and Myrhh. It is supposed to help the tissue relax, heighten arousal, and increase sensation. It is very similar to a product that was recently released in the United States from Pjur (makers of silicone lubes like Eros) called Analyse Me! Anal Comfort Spray. Analyse Me! Anal Comfort Spray is supposed to “lightly desensitize to increase your anal pleasure,” and it contains Lauromacrogol, which acts as an anesthetic (lauromacrogol is an ingredient used in hemorrhoid creams to numb the area and reduce itching). I have not personally used either product, and the manufacturers claim that they are safe to use.

Neither of these products contain benzocaine, the main ingredient in ass-numbing lubes like Anal-Eze and similarly named products that I never recommend using. However, they are marketed for the same purpose and are operating on the same basic principle: that you need to numb your ass in order for penetration to be possible. I simply disagree. A water-based or silicone-based lube, along with patience and warm up, are what you need to increase your pleasure, not a product — natural or not — that lessens your sensitivity.

Jan 25: Dee Dennis on Creating a Melting Pot of Sexuality and Patricia Johnson & Mark Michaels on Making Great Sex Simple

Jan 222013

Dee Dennis (Catalyst Con)

MarkandPatricia high res

This Friday, January 25th, Sex Out Loud is live and the show starts at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET. First we’ll talk with Dee Dennis, creator and founder of CatalystCon, a conference she refers to as a “melting pot of sexuality” that will unite sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. She’ll discuss what to expect this March when the conference hits DC and how you can join in. Then, Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels, authors of the book Great Sex Made Simple, will discuss what exactly is tantra and how everyone can benefit from their tantric tips to deepen intimacy and heighten pleasure within sexual relationships.

An activist in the field of sexuality, Dee Dennis started her career as a sex blogger, writing about the end of her marriage and starting the next chapter in her life. Through this metamorphosis, Dee discovered her passion for sexuality rights and issues for people around the world. Dee’s commitment to taking the conversation about sexuality offline and into the real world lead in part to the creation of MOMENTUM, a conference she co-founded to empower people to come together and exchange ideas that would further the conversations about sexuality, inspire people and motivate them to carry the conversation forward. In 2012, Dee founded CatalystCon, which she regards as a “melting pot of sexuality” that unites sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. To Dee, “knowledge is power, and sharing that knowledge is the first spark in igniting change.” This is the fundamental principle behind CatalystCon.

Mark A. Michaels (Swami Umeshanand Saraswati) and Patricia Johnson (Devi Veenanand), a devoted married couple, have been teaching Tantra together since 1999. Their approach combines traditional lineage-based Tantra with the best contemporary methods so that students can bring heightened awareness and an expanded capacity for pleasure into all aspects of everyday life. Michaels and Johnson are the authors of The Essence of Tantric Sexuality (Llewellyn, 2006), which won the USA Book News National Best Books 2007 Award in Health: Sexuality. Their second book, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life (Llewellyn 2008) won the 2008 USA Book News Award, also in Health: Sexuality, was selected as an Indie Excellence Awards finalist in New Age Non-Fiction, and was a ForeWord Magazine Books of the Year Award finalist in the Body, Mind and Spirit category.) Their meditation CD set, Ananda Nidra: Blissful Sleep(Projekt Records) was a finalist for the 2012 COVR Visionary Award for Innerspace/Meditational/Healing Music.

Michaels and Johnson wrote and appeared in two instructional DVDs produced by the Alexander Institute: Tantric Sexual Massage for Lovers and Advanced Tantric Sex Secrets. They have been featured on television (Good Day Colorado, AM Northwest, Naked New York), radio (Afternoon Advice and Nightcalls on Playboy Radio, Go to Bed with Cosmo Radio, The Derek and Romaine Show, and NPR’s A Chef’s Table) and have been quoted as experts in numerous publications and on many websites – from women’s magazines to dating websites to men’s magazines to GLBT- oriented media – including Redbook, Latina, Jane, Cosmopolitan, The Village Voice, Metro, Pregnancy and Newborn, More, Rockstar, Woman’s World, The Sydney Star Observer (Australia’s most popular GLBT weekly), Emotion (Germany), The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex, and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Sexual Desire. They have also contributed articles to various online and print publications, including Chronogram and Debonair, and give sexuality and relationship advice at Dick-n-Jane.com.

The couple has taught throughout the United States, as well as in Canada, the Caribbean, Europe, and Australia. They are senior students of Tantric pioneer Dr. Jonn Mumford (Swami Anandakapila Saraswati). Dr. Mumford has named them his lineage holders for the Americas and Europe. In addition, they have studied Bhakti Yoga with Bhagavan Das and Tantra with Dr. Rudolph Ballentine.

Michaels is a graduate of New York University School of Law and a member of the Bar in New York State. He holds master’s degrees in American Studies from NYU and Yale. Formerly, a playwright and translator, he translated and adapted Goldoni’s The Mistress of the Inn for the Roundabout Theatre Company, and co-wrote The Thrill of Victory, The Agony of Debate, which premiered at New York’s Primary Stages. Johnson is a retired professional operatic soprano who toured throughout the United States, Europe, and South America and performed with the New York City Opera, the Houston Grand Opera, and the Komsiche Oper Berlin. She currently is active in the conservation and preservation of New York’s native turtles.

Michaels and Johnson are co-founders of the Pleasure Salon, a monthly gathering in New York City that brings together sex-positive people and pleasure activists from a variety of communities.

Ask Tristan: Is Webcamming Prostitution?

Jan 182013

Ask Tristan logo450

[Ed. note: This question is a legal one, so I asked my awesome expert, Davis from Sexquire to answer it.]

So, I was just reading a Coyote L.A. article that talks about what Prostitution is defined as, and I noticed that one can
define Prostitution as masturbation for pay. Would that mean that webcam modeling could be included in that definition? Is there an exception for cam, because I am using my camera?

To be sure I was answering the right question, I did some research to find the Coyote LA article you mentioned. After reviewing it, I can see how the issue might still be a bit confusing. The answer to your question is most likely no, but let me add a few caveats before getting in to too much detail.

Caveat 1 –The article you cited discussed California laws regarding prostitution, and each state (and often city or town) has its own specific rules that govern what is/is not illegal there. I’m going to answer your question under California law, but if you’re wondering about another state, or even an area in California other than LA, you’ll need to do some additional research.

Caveat 2 – Some places don’t have very specific laws, and often whoever is in power (mayors, council persons, sheriffs) dictate what types of things are more vigorously pursued at any particular time. If you’re new to an area, be sure you learn about the prostitution and sex work laws that govern, but also find out a bit about the area’s political climate and whether local governmental authorities are particularly active in this area.

Caveat 3 – Your question was about prostitution laws, but obscenity laws may also govern cam or fetish video work. Just because a local government agent can’t fit what you’re doing into the definition of prostitution doesn’t mean you’re necessarily in the clear, as obscenity and “lewdness” laws vary quite a bit from state to state.

Okay, with all that being said, let’s dive into your question. The article you mentioned discussed how dancing nude and masturbating oneself might meet the definition of prostitution under California Penal Code Sec. 647 (which defines prostitution). The actual language of the law is long and confusing, but the article is correct that the law includes in its definition of prostitution “a lewd act for money or other consideration” which is “the touching of breast, buttocks or genitals for the purpose of sexual gratification or arousal.” The article goes on to say that since the law does not define WHO is doing the touching, that one who dances nude or masturbates oneself as part of their act could, if their customer achieves sexual gratification, be found to have committed an act of prostitution. However, your question was not about someone dancing nude or masturbating themselves in front of someone IN PERSON, it was about cam work, where you are far removed from, and indeed may not even have any information at all about, your client. And this is what, at least for now, removes cam work from the definition of prostitution. It does not take place between two persons in public or private, as the California statute states for every definition of prostitution. It may seem a bit fuzzy, but because you have the barrier of the computer, the internet and space/time between you and the person purchasing your services, it simply doesn’t fit the current definition of illegal sex work. Of course it may fit under a pornography or obscenity definition, and with the recent laws and referendums in California one never knows how laws may change, but for now, at least in California, cam work does not likely fit the definition of prostitution and to my knowledge, no cases have been pursued.

One final caveat though – despite not technically fitting the definition, nothing prevents local law enforcement from claiming that a particular act is illegal, so know that although a case would likely not prevail, an overzealous officer and prosecutor could certainly charge someone with prostitution simply for cam or other work. So be careful out there regardless of what your local law currently says.

~~~~~~

Davis is the founder of Sexquire, a complete sex-positive business services company. Davis is the legal arm of Sexquire, having advised brick and mortar sex toy stores, sex educators, sex workers and other sex positive business folk on all manner of legal issues for over 7 years. In addition to legal matters, Sexquire also provides bookkeeping, accounting, personal assistance and other business services all with a sex-positive spin. You can find them online at their website, as well as Twitter and Facebook.

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