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Feb 28: Shanna Katz on Passion for Queer Sex, Open Source Sex Education, and the Intersections of Sex & Dis/ability

Feb 262014

Shanna-and-Vivianne1

This week on Sex Out Loud, I talk with sex educator Shanna Katz about her passions around sex and sex education, specifically making sex education inclusive of all communities and how to get the information to people who often are left out of resources. She’ll also discuss her new women’s sexuality book, Your Pleasure Map, a choose-your-own-adventure style guide to hotter, naughtier, more adventurous sex.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a queer kinky disabled femme and board certified sexologist, sexuality educator and professional pervert. From topics like relationship communication skills to non-monogamy, and oral sex to how sexuality and dis/ability intersect, she talks, writes and teaches about the huge spectrum of sexuality, both from personal and professional perspectives. She’s using her Master’s of Sexuality Education to provide accessible, open-source sex education to people around the country, and is currently working hard to bring sex education and positivity to the Southwest as well as online.

A member of the One Colorado Queer White Allies for Racial Solidarity Caucus, the American College of Sexologists, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, as well as on the board of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (Pawtucket, RI) and Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights (Denver, C), Shanna is actively involved in work towards equality and social justice for people of all identities. Teaching classes at colleges and universities (such as Brown University, Colorado College, SUNY-Purchase, ASU, Hofstra, U of A, etc) is one of her favorite ways to expand horizons. She also loves traveling to speak at conferences, sex toy stores, dungeons, women’s groups, LGBTQ centers, art galleries and more, and co-presenting with her partner on looking at privilege in sexuality education and LGBTQ inclusive medical practices.

She has written for many sexuality websites, had a sexuality centric radio show with widespread listeners, has had her erotica published in multiple anthologies, directed queer porn and three books; her first book “Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind” is on cunnilingus for partners of all genders, her book Your Pleasure Map is a choose-your-own-adventure style of sexuality guide for women, and her book being released in February, 100 Lesbian Sex Positions. When not blogging, teaching, writing or tweeting about the oh-so-many interesting and awkward moments in her life, you can find Shanna drinking tea, eating cupcakes, and cuddling with her partner and their three rescued cats; Kinsey, Kali and Jasper. For more info, please visit her sexuality education site, www.ShannaKatz.com.

Anal Advisor: Dying to Have A Toy Box

Feb 192014

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My girlfriend likes both vaginal and anal penetration a lot and so do I. I’m looking to expand our repertoire with some toys. I notice that you often include sex toys in your writing, books, and films, but don’t talk about the psychology of them. My girlfriend just isn’t turned on by sex toys because she feels like it is not me pleasuring her, but the toy. Her disinterest has come to the point where she doesn’t even want to try them. She came close to trying a small vibrator one time, but when I went to buy it, she changed her mind and didn’t want it. My fantasy is to not only use toys on her, but for her to use them on me as well. Is there anything that could help her see that it would be me pleasuring her, not just some inanimate object?

–Dying to Have A Toy Box

You’re absolutely right about me — I love sex toys! In fact, I love them so much, I wrote a book all about them (it’s called The Big Book of Sex Toys). There are lots of myths about sex toys, and it sounds like your girlfriend’s lack of interest in them may have to do with some of these misconceptions. People mistakenly believe that if you bring a sex toy into the bedroom, it means that something’s wrong; others think that sex should not need anything extra besides just two bodies, that it should all come “naturally.” These are the same folks that think lube isn’t necessary, you just need to be turned on! I’m not discounting all that we can do with our fingers, hands, tongues, mouths, cocks, clits, and pussies, not to mention lots of other body parts. However, toys can bring your sex life to a whole new level! Plus, sex toys can help you be in two places at the same time (wink, wink), give you a helping hand, and do things that human beings just can’t do!

I think it’s worth it for the two of you to talk about toys. While different toys do different things, remind her that this is not an either/or choice or a contest. If you’re using toys together, then it’s about the connection and fun between you — not about whether it’s the toy that’s responsible for her pleasure and/or orgasm or you. Sex toys are meant to enhance your sex life, not be a substitute for anyone. I suggest you take your girlfriend shopping at a sex-positive store where she can see a variety of toys out of the packaging, pick them up, and turn them on. Let her choose a toy — one that she likes, appeals to her, or is intriguing in some way. If she’s not sure, ask the person working at the store for some advice. Empower her to take the lead on buying it, and give her time to get used to using it together.

Feb 21: Janet Mock on Identity, Visibility, and Redefining Realness

Feb 182014

Photo by Aaron Treadwell

This week on Sex Out Loud I’m so excited to spend an hour with writer, activist, and New York Times-bestselling author, Janet Mock. Since stepping out into the public eye in 2011, Mock has founded #GirlsLikeUs, a media visibility campaign for trans women, and spoken about issues of identity, safety, health, and community all over the country, including appearances on Melissa Harris-Perry, HBO’s The Out List, and MSNBC Live with Thomas Roberts. Her memoir Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More was released in early February and is currently on the New York Times bestseller list. We’ll be talking about her journey to becoming a public activist, the power of writing and storytelling, plus taking live questions from you!

This week’s show is LIVE, which means we’ll be giving away a Sportsheets prize to a lucky fan. Find out all the ways to listen here so you can call in with questions and comments at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air – you could be chosen to win!

Janet Mock is a writer who founded the #Girlslikeus project, a media visibility campaign for trans women. Her memoir “Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More” was published in February 2014. Since sharing her story in 2011 through Marie Claire magazine, Janet has been featured in the HBO documentary The Out List and appears regularly on MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry show. She currently serves on the board of directors for the Arcus Foundation and has been recognized by the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, the Center for American Progress, the Women’s Media Center and GOOD magazine for her work. A native of Honolulu, Janet lives and writes in New York City with her boyfriend Aaron and their cockapoo Cleo. Follow her on Twitter at @janetmock.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Feb 14: Heather Corinna of Scarleteen on Why Progressive Sex Ed is Critical

Feb 122014

heather corinna

The Valentine’s Day episode of Sex Out Loud focuses on sex education for young folks, featuring a live conversation with Heather Corinna – writer, activist, educator and founder of Scarleteen, the comprehensive sex ed resource for teens and people in their 20s. Heather and Tristan will discuss how sex ed effects everyone in society, what’s the legacy of generations who receive abstinence-only messages, and the definition of quality, progressive sex ed for young people. The show is live and they will be taking caller questions.

Heather Corinna is an activist, writer, artist and educator and the founder and director of Scarleteen.com, the most widely used online sex education resource for young people which has been online since 1998. She is also the author of S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Anal Advisor: Stranded in the Shower

Feb 052014

My girlfriend knows that anal sex has been a long time fantasy of mine, and recently she decided to try it. We were in the shower fooling around, then we had vaginal sex. She suggested I put it in her ass, and, of course, I gladly obliged. I gently placed my dick at the entrance of her sexy asshole, and she pulled her ass cheeks apart for me. I slowly tried to push my dick in her ass, but it was like pushing my dick against a wall. I was just not going anywhere. The funny thing is that I was fully lubed up and so was she. She was also very relaxed, so I don’t see why I couldn’t get my dick inside her. My dick is about eight inches long and three inches thick, could this be the reason?

–Stranded in the Shower

It sounds like your girlfriend has never had anal sex before, and a nice warm shower does not qualify as warming her up! I am not surprised it felt impossible to get inside; the sphincter muscles are a tight ring of muscles and they’ll keep you from going anywhere you’re not welcome. In this case, you weren’t welcome because you tried to go from 0 to 60 in five seconds. So let’s start over and introduce her to this wonderful activity properly, shall we?

Begin exploring your girlfriend’s ass with analingus, external stimulation, and one finger. As you lick her pussy or stimulate her clit, slip a well-lubed finger inside her ass gently and slowly. Build from this experience and make sure to let her set the pace. Don’t proceed to add another finger or try out a toy until she’s ready.

Once you’ve had many sessions of anal penetration with fingers and toys, only then are you ready to put your dick in her ass. It sounds like your dick is both longer and a lot thicker than average. Get a dildo that’s just slightly smaller than your erect cock, and begin playing with it. Once she can take that dildo comfortably and it feels really good, then you can give your dick another try. If you return to the shower for the big event, make sure to use a silicone-based lubricant, since water-based lubes will simply wash away.

Feb 7: Sex Toy Extravaganza with Emily Morse of Sex with Emily plus CalExotics, Fun Factory, Sportsheets & Redhead Bedhead

Feb 042014

Tristan and Emily Morse

This week on Sex Out Loud, Tristan Taormino finally meets Emily Morse, host of Sex with Emily and Bravo’s Miss Advised, and they talk about going public about your sex life, monogamy, and Dr. Drew. CalExotics CEO Susan Colvin reflects on how sexual attitudes have changed and Emilie Rosen talks about how Fun Factory‘s newest invention rocked the sex toy world. Then, Cheri from Sportsheets demonstrates why equestrians make great lovers and sex blogger The Redhead Bedhead weighs in on toy company/consumer synergy. This is the final part of a series of interviews recorded at the PleasureWorks booth at the 2014 Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo in Burbank, CA.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

Dr. Emily Morse is a sex expert and host of the top downloaded sex and relationship advice podcast Sex with Emily. She has helped millions of people have the sex and relationships they want but could not figure out how to get. Emily has been voted the #1 dating and sex expert by DatingAdvice.com and the #1 dating and sex expert to follow on Twitter. Emily launched the Sex with Emily radio show and podcast in 2005 before becoming a Bravo television personality on Miss Advised. She is dedicated to educating men and women about Kegel Exercises (check out her iPhone App: Kegel Camp) and is the author of the popular book, Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. She is a weekly guest co-host on the nationally syndicated radio show Loveline with Dr. Drew Pinsky. Emily earned her Doctor of Human Sexuality from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco and received her BA in Psychology from University of Michigan. Prior to becoming a sex expert, Emily worked in politics as a campaign aide for California Senator Barbara Boxer and former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown. She also directed and produced the award-winning documentary, See How They Run, which follows a notorious San Francisco mayoral race.

Susan Colvin founded, and is the President and CEO, of California Exotic Novelties, the world’s largest and most respected pleasure product manufacturer, and of JOPEN, the premiere luxury toy company. She has three college degrees: Bachelor of Arts with a major in Speech Communication and minor in Political Science, Master of Public Administration with an emphasis in Energy Administration, both from the University of New Mexico, and a Master of Business Administration from Central Michigan University. During Susan’s early career she taught GED courses on military bases and served as an Associate Professor and Director of Student Affairs at Hawaii Pacific College. She was also an associate professor at Honolulu Community College, Golden Gate University and Rhode Island College. Upon entering the private sector, Susan was the Director of Operations for one of the original one-hour photo franchises. When the company was sold she started a business management company that specialized in computerizing small business and establishing operating procedures. In her next adventure she assumed the role of General Manager for CPLC and Video Team. With a strong work ethic and a passion for empowering women and couples’, Susan revolutionized the pleasure product industry. She developed the first toys in pink and purple colors and packaged them to appeal to women. She intuitively understood pleasure products and developed a long list of innovations including the first: waterproof, rechargeable, wireless, and more. As an innovator and pioneer, Susan and her companies have been honored with many awards, including: Business Woman of the Year—2012 from EAN, Manufacturer of the Year—2013 from StorErotica, and Best Pleasure Product Manufacturer—2013 from AVN.

Who would have thought that in the mid-1990s two students from Bremen would make the important topic of female passion respectable? Dirk Bauer and Michael Pahl were fresh out of university when they founded their company FUN FACTORY in 1996. Their business idea? They wanted to produce aesthetic and trendy erotic toys that really speak to women and build a name for quality and class. “In a conversation with the founders of the erotic shop ‘For Ladies’ in Bremen, we learned that there was practically nothing of the kind,” Bauer said. “We recognized a gap in the market and made the decision to do something. Our products should unite aesthetics, quality and functionality. They should be fun and no one should be ashamed of them.” In the beginning, Bauer and Pahl sat at the kitchen table and made the form for the first FUN FACTORY dildo, “Paddy Pinguin” from clay. All dildos were first created as unique pieces, but as fans grew in number, so did requests continually climb and climb. Fifteen years later the two-man team at the kitchen table company has grown to Europe’s largest manufacturer of silicone erotic toys – with countless employees and customers from around the world.

Cheri Curry-Poe is the Sales Manager at Sportsheets International. She has been helping the sales team fine tune their customer service practices and increase sales along with customer satisfaction since December 2011. Prior to coming to Sportsheets she worked as an aircraft sales and acquisitions representative. She later moved into a project manager position for a critical contractor for US department of defense. She has been in sales, marketing, and customer contact for over 20 years and during that time was co-owner of a cutting edge multimedia and marketing firm. On her time off she enjoys sailing with her husband, riding horses, paddle boarding and spending time with her two teenage sons.

The Redhead Bedhead came to life when JoEllen decided she wanted to talk about sex on the internet (“Do people even do that?!”) Now she writes for multiple outlets including Good Vibrations, Life on the Swingset and Kinkly.com as well as the now award-winning RedheadBedhead.com and tours the country on the Superhero Sex Shop Tour. A writer, educator and adult-retail consultant (she’ll make your shop a Superhero!), the Bedhead is on a mission to prove that through constant learning, perpetual experimentation, fearless collaboration, non-stop dialogue and frequent wise-assery we can save the world from mediocre sex – and have a damn good time doing it. JoEllen resides in Portland, OR, where she spends her days writing, working internet magic, geeking out about sex, and tasting all the beer.

Tristan Taormino talks to Playboy, plus the legacy of Wesleyan

Jan 282014

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The 60th Anniversary issue of Playboy includes “Sex: A Very Oral Report” by Molly Oswaks, and I’m one of “a dozen influential women, from artists to intellectuals, to discuss what [women] have gained and lost.”

I went to college at Wesleyan and loved my experience there. Although the alumni magazine ignores me, I feel the love in this Wesleying profile Can Sex-Ed Be Sexy? Through Porn and Print, Taormino ’93 Says ‘Yes’ by Gabe Rosenberg.

Husband’s Deployment Inspires Lady-Friendly Adult Toy Boutique

Jan 282014

Ladies and gentlemen finally have an elegant venue to purchase adult toys worthy of their bodies with the opening of Burlesque Toy Shop at http://www.burlesquetoyshop.com.

Burlesque Toy Shop’s online boutique offers an expertly curated selection of toys for men, women and couples, imbued with education and tips. Burlesque Toy Shop promotes sex-positivity and glamour as a way of life.

During her husband’s yearlong military deployment, founder and CEO Grace Love visited a local, “women-friendly” adult store and was dismayed. Love describes her experience,

“The packaging was crude, the toys were made from unsafe materials and the environment was cheap. No one told me how difficult it would be to go from consistent love-making to none at all. I knew other women were in the same position, and I felt we deserved better. I decided to create a boutique where the shopping experience was as elegant and pleasurable as the toys we sold.”

The idea for Burlesque Toy Shop was born.

Burlesque Toy Shop expertly curates its products offering exclusively non-toxic toys. This is important because the sex-toy industry is unregulated and many “novelty” products sold on the market leach potentially harmful chemicals. Safe alternative products are available; however, consumers are uninformed. Few shops choose to boycott these toxic toys. Burlesque Toy Shop patrons shop with confidence knowing the boutique offers safe, quality products.

Naturally, Burlesque Toy Shop has a soft spot for military couples who have to be apart for months on end. If a loved-one’s unit is deploying, the boutique will set up a private deployment special coupon code for the group. In addition, the site sponsors blogette Army Love Strong (http://armylovestrong.tumblr.com), a safe space for military couples to talk frankly about sex & deployment in a sex-positive environment.

Burlesque, LLC’s vision is to help the world find its inner burlesque through sexual wellness products, education and tips.

Contact:

Rose Fairley

Social Media Manager

Burlesque Toy Shop, LLC

PO Box 8038,

Newark, DE 19714

rose@burlesquetoyshop.com

http://www.burlesquetoyshop.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com /burlesquetoys

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/burlesquetoyshop

Tumblr:  armylovestrong.tumblr.com

Jan 31: Coco of Ice Loves Coco on Self Love, Pumping Up Passion, and Anal Pleasure Plus Sex Toy Experts on Innovation and The Future of Sex

Jan 272014

tristan and coco

This Friday on Sex Out Loud I can’t wait for you to hear my chat with Coco, entrepreneur and star of Ice Loves Coco, about building sexual self confidence, keeping long term relationships hot, and what she thinks about anal sex. Plus, three industry veterans — Shay Martin from Vibratex, Tantus CEO Metis Black, and Good Vibrations’ Coyote Days — talk sex toy trends and reveal what they see for the future of sex. This show is part 2 of a series of interviews recorded at the PleasureWorks booth at the 2014 Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo in Burbank, CA. You can listen to part 1 here.

Sex Out Loud airs every Friday at 5 pm PT / 8 pm ET on the VoiceAmerica Variety channel. You can listen on your computer, phone, or tablet, find all the ways here!

shay vibratex Vibratex is a 30 yr old family company run by Dan and Shay Martin. We are known for creating unique, fun, quality vibrators and toys. Our Rabbit Pearl was the one and only vibe featured on “Sex and the City” which spawned a whole industry of vibrators. The ergonomics and quality of our materials are of the upmost importance to us and have always set us apart from other products on the market. Our dual backgrounds in engineering and biology have allowed us to steer clear of poor designs and inferior materials. Relationships with our manufacturers in Japan have also allowed us to develop a lasting relationship with the Hitachi corporation. Vibratex is the sole import agent for Hitachi to bring in the Magic Wand. We work closely with them to bring in the most reliable, most loved electric vibrator available in the world market. We are small but very dedicated company that has always designed our own and never copied trends or designs. And we have fun making people happy.

Good Vibrations is a diverse, woman-focused retailer providing high-quality, sex-positive products and non-judgmental, accurate sex information through our clean and comfortable stores, catalog, web site, wholesale division, product and movie production lines in order to enhance our customers’ sex lives and promote healthy attitudes about sex. We recognize that sexuality touches on every aspect of our lives and that many people face challenges around positive sexual expression. Our goal is to help everyone we come into contact with to discover ways to experience sexual pleasure, health, and well-being. Since sexual diversity is a core component of the human experience and each person’s sexuality will change over the lifespan, we welcome all forms of consensual sexual expression, desire, and fantasy. Good Vibrations strives to be an agent for social change, through the lenses of sexuality, diversity and ethical business practices. Both within our organization, and throughout the communities we serve, we are committed to fostering respect, promoting supportive communication, providing access to educational resources and strongly advocating for women in leadership roles. Coyote Days is a queer femme making a living buying & developing sex toys for Good Vibrations.

Metis Black founded and built Tantus, Inc., a sex toy manufacturing company that has helped change the profile of sexuality products. She has used Tantus to mainstream silicone products and educate the industry on material safety and sexuality. Metis’ success has brought her accolades inside and outside of her industry. Her articles on material safety standards in sexual products and the chemistry of personal products such as lubricants have been widely published. Some of her publishing credits include Good Vibrations Online Magazine, On Our Backs, Adult Novelty Business, XBiz, and The Free Speech Coalition. Plus she has been the “go to” industry person about sex toy material safety, quoted in hundreds of articles online and in print. Over the last decade, Metis has proven to be a champion for sex educators and a mentor to other small business owners.

Born as Nicole Austin (March 17, 1979), commonly known as Coco, is a television personality, glamour/fitness model, actress, dancer, author, fashion designer, entrepreneur, internet sensation and dog mom to supermodel Spartacus and Maximus. Coco was born in Tarzana, California and brought up in Palos Verdes, California. In April 2011, Coco, along with husband Ice T opened up their life to the world as they appeared on E! hit reality TV show “Ice Loves Coco” which focuses on her business ventures and dedication to her marriage, family, friends with humorous moments and the lessons learned, the real modern day “I LOVE LUCY”. Coco has also entered the world of writing as she released her new fictional novel entitled “Angel” with Forge a division of McMillan publishing which was released in September 2011. Coco is today’s modern woman, continuing to elevate, creating new opportunities, teaching woman of all ages how to be fit, sexy and confident, living with old fashion marriage values that work and always climbing the never ending ladder of success.

April Flores Wins First BBW Performer of the Year Award at the 2014 AVN Awards

Jan 212014

LAS VEGAS — This week at the annual AVN Awards at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas, the AVN Awards presented the very first Performer of the Year award to the most outstanding plus size performer, and they handed the crown to the industry’s biggest trailblazer: the legendary performer and cult classic muse April Flores.

April Flores would like to release her acceptance speech in this article:

“I am extremely proud of this achievement! I want to thank AVN for the recognition of my hard work and dedication. I also want to thank my fans and supporters for always letting me know that my work is inspiring them to feel confident and sexy. My goal has always been to show other plus sized women, and the world, that women of size can be happy, confident and sexy in our curvy, plus sized bodies. I can see change happening, and AVN acknowledging BBW as a category is a major step forward. It was an honor to be included with all the nominees because we have all advanced the representation of plus sized sexuality. Most importantly, this award is dedicated to my husband, best friend and mentor Carlos Batts. This is a very special way to start off, and set the tone for a better 2014.”

Carlos Batts, filmmaker, adult industry pioneer, and director of many of April’s most iconic films, passed away in October of 2013. His image opened the AVN Awards ceremony in a memorium sequence. He will forever be remembered for bringing more art into the adult industry and creating forward-thinking porn featuring culturally diverse casts, starring performers of all sizes, and elevating his wife April Flores to muse icon status.

—-

After making her hardcore porn debut with the legendary Belladonna as her costar in Evil Angel’s non-BBW release Evil Pink 2, April worked alongside all kinds of women for major studios like Vivid, Adam & Eve, and Zero Tolerance — studios that were once off-limits to plus size performers. She has also become an indie porn icon, winning multiple Feminist Porn Awards for her work with late husband Carlos Batts (Artcore, April Flores’ World, Voluptuous Biker Babes) and queer porn icon Courtney Trouble (Lesbian Curves HARD FEMME, Bordello, Fuckstyles)

Esteemed porn journalist Rob Perez wrote of April in AVN Magazine’s recent feature on the plus size nominees: “BBW porn can be divided into “before April Flores and after April Flores.” Before April, BBW porn was an overlooked niche. Flores is one of the genre’s most influential stars… From being the first BBW performer to have a toy molded after her to being the first, and to date only, BBW performer to appear on the cover of AVN magazine, the half Mexican/Ecuadorian performer and muse of the late Carlos Batts is a living BBW legend.”

Her latest film release is TROUBLEfilms DVD Hard Femme: Lesbian Curves 2 directed by Courtney Trouble, who is also her co star in the scene.

“April is the most fantastic person you could ever hope to have on a set,” says Courtney, who has been working with April since 2009 and was also a nominee for the Performer of the Year category. “She’s creative, insightful, collaborative, inventive, and utterly gorgeous. She’s a total angel in the flesh with the business mind and gumption to pave new paths for herself and the women beside her. She is an absolute role model, the perfect adult star.”

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