Jul 172013
 

Besides using lots of lube, what else can I do to make anal sex more enjoyable for my girlfriend?

–Good Guy

Great question! I wish every guy put this one on top of his list. The first thing is to do is talk to her and ask her what she likes. She is your best source of information, even better than me, since she knows her body best. She may like a particular position, for example. Or maybe she wants to try out a new toy. Or maybe she wants to have anal sex as part of a roleplaying fantasy. Ask her. Speaking of positions, experiment with different angles to see which ones give you the most indirect G-spot stimulation, since that is one of the ways women get off from anal penetration. And, of course, I recommend clitoral stimulation and lots of it. If you can reach her clit comfortably, have at it, otherwise, she can use her own hand or a vibrator. Working her clit while you fuck her ass will not only enhance her pleasure, it may also make her come.

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Jul 172013
 

Vicarious, a recently released lesbian, POV-themed porno, is a work of pure genius. Director/performer/babe/superhuman Bobbi Starr manages to capture a raw eroticism unlike anything I have ever seen. This isn’t surprising—lesbian POV’s are rare. However, the genius of this film is not solely based on the uniqueness of the genre. Rather, it is about exactly what Bobbi catches on camera—the doe-eyes, clits, and zoomed-in assholes (to name a few)—that makes Vicarious one of the most noteworthy pornos of 2011.

The film is broken down into nine sex scenes, each featuring Bobbi and a performer. These performers represent a diverse range of female-bodied people. There are butches, femmes, dommes, subs, straight gals, queer folks, completely shaved pussies, and fully-grown bushes. Prior to each scene is a short interview where Bobbi asks the performers about their sex lives, desires, and experiences both in and out of the industry. These interviews are interspersed with beautifully shot images of the stars sensually touching their bodies. Something feels incredibly personable about the interviews. Bobbi and the performers talk like lovers or friends, complete with awkward silences and laughter.

This sense of authenticity (and the laughter) continues into the sex. Actually, there is more genuine laughter in Vicarious than there is in most porn flicks. Humor is always a plus in my book, especially when it is incorporated so effortlessly with orgasms. The laughter in this flick is often sparked by the openness and body curiosity of the performers. They dive (quite literally) into one another, exploring the human body with an energy and passion akin to Christopher Columbus playing doctor. At one point, while filming a close-up of Kimberely Kane’s ass, Bobbi exclaims, “this is like National Geographic. In my opinion, Vicarious is 1000 times hotter because of these moments—and not because I am especially turned on by an-almost medical close-up of an asshole. Rather, it is truthfulness that comes across in these shots that turns me on. It’s unexpected, candid, and honest. In other words, it is voyeurism at it’s finest.

Do not worry if sexy National Geographic is not your style. This film has something for everyone. There are high-heels and Converse, ass-less tighty-whities and corsets, glass butt plugs and giant strap-ons. Plus, there’s always a second camera filming from a distance, thus providing a lovely combination of POV and outside shots. I must say, Bobbi is incredibly talented with a camera. In the final scene Ms. Starr manages to hold the camera in one hand, tilt her head to the side, and film herself eating Aiden Ashley’s pussy. Another amazing shot features Jiz Lee rubbing her buzzed, red Mohawk along Bobbi’s pussy. Who knew a buzz-cut could provide such a buzz? And another features Lexi Bell’s giant eyes looking up from Bobbi’s gaping ass. And another features Rozen Debowe fucking Bobbi with two hands (8 fingers in total). And another features Dylan Ryan lusciously squirting all over a large bed. And another…And another…

I could go on to describe every shot in the three-and-a-half hour film (yup, it’s a long one.) But I recommend you just go out and experience it for yourself. As the tagline reads, Vicarious is “so close you can taste it.” I, for one, am still licking my lips.

~~~

Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

Jul 172013
 

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This Friday on Sex Out Loud, listen to exclusive clips from Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples and meet two of the men featured in my newest sex ed movie. I’ll ask Christian about how men can explore their submissive fantasies, why he’s a controversial figure in the adult industry, and what the new porn economy means for performers. Then Derrick Pierce will join me for a discussion about being a thoughtful dominant, what excites him most about his job, and the new film he directed, Tuff Love.

Christian, also know as Christian XXX, is a male porn performer who has appeared in over 2000 scenes since he began work in the adult industry in 2003. He is the winner of four AVN Awards and he is the reigning 2013 Feminist Porn Heartthrob of the Year. He is a controversial figure because he’s done both gay and straight porn. His earliest work was in gay porn under the name Maxx Diesel (he was briefly a contract performer for Falcon Studios). He then began working in the straight porn industry under the name Christian, where, in addition to traditional heterosexual scenes, he does more diverse work than any of his peers including scenes featuring plus-sized co-stars, strap-on anal sex, transsexual women, male submission, and more. He has his own website aptly named ChristianDoesThemAll.com and he blogs at christiansingstheblues.com.

Derrick Pierce is an adult performer, martial arts expert, and a self-described “Crossfit junkie.” He’s appeared in over 100 adult feature films, including Iron Man XXX, Upload, Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples, and Tuff Love, which he directed for Wicked Pictures. He’s received numerous award nominations, and he won the 2010 AVN Award for Unsung Male Performer of the Year. Follow him on Twitter @DPiercexxx and check out the fan site derrickpiercexxxstar.com.

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Jul 172013
 

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In June I gave a speech at the Guelph Sexuality Conference. You can read more about my appearance in this article by The Record.

“I’m here to tell you no one is having normal sex,” New York-based sexuality educator and author Tristan Taormino told scores of people attending her frank but well-received plenary speech.

 

And in case you missed it, Cosmo Magazine did an interview online with me about feminist porn! I’m so glad mainstream media is started to hear the buzz of feminist porn. The Feminist Porn Book is about to go into it’s second printing!

I have no interest in policing or judging anyone’s desires, fantasies, and porn preferences, and I know that plenty of women have fantasies of dominance and submission. Images of dominance and submission are not anti-feminist in and of themselves, but one of the reasons feminists critique them is because consent is not always explicit and because of the repetition of men dominating women, making it the main type of power exchange we see in a lot of mainstream pornography. I think there is a stereotype that women want kinder, gentler, more romantic porn; some women do, but not all women. Feminist pornographers don’t want to do away with sexual power dynamics; many of us want to explore them in an explicitly consensual and more diverse, nuanced, non-stereotypical way.

Jul 102013
 

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I recently purchased an inflatable butt plug, and I love it. But, I always find myself a bit uneasy at first while I am pumping it up inside me. I have taken your advice and inflated it prior to insertion, but I still have an overwhelming fear of it bursting inside me if I move the wrong way. Or I fear the latex might give out from overuse. You briefly touched on this topic on your website and said you knew a couple of people who actually had an inflatable toy burst inside them. You said they were just fine, so I guess I’m just looking for some reassurance.

If this were to happen, would it be dangerous for all of that air to be forced inside of me so quickly? Aside from retrieving the pieces, should I worry if it will be painful or worse yet, damaging tissue? Perhaps I’m overreacting, but I just want to get the full amount of pleasure out of my new toy.

–Blown Out of Proportion?

I have heard of two people who’ve had an inflatable butt plug burst inside their ass, and both admitted that they were using the toy irresponsibly by over-inflating it. Both had no serious problems as a result. Realize that these are two cases I’ve heard about from thousands and thousands of people, so I think it’s probably pretty uncommon. That said, the sex toy industry is not regulated in any way and many manufacturers do not test the safety of their toys before putting them out on the shelves for consumers. So, your first line of defense is to select a toy from a well-known manufacturer with a good reputation.

Next, let’s address your concerns and talk worst case scenario. Yes, if a plug burst, a burst of air would come along with it, but not enough air to harm you; the worst it would do would give you gas. I suspect that the experience could be painful, as well as shocking to the body. Because these plugs are made of latex rubber, the pieces are soft and shouldn’t harm the rectal tissue in any way. Never, ever use an inflatable toy made of any hard materials. The bottom line is: be responsible, don’t over pump, and just relax and have a good time!

Jul 032013
 

joanna angel

This week on Sex Out Loud my guest is Joanna Angel, the prolific and award-winning writer, producer, director, model, and adult film star. Angel is founder and owner of Burning Angel Entertainment, which popularized alternative style girls and features adult content alongside band interviews, record reviews, and a community with its own social networking. She’ll discuss how BurningAngel.com started, where ‘alt porn’ came from, and what’s next in the world of sex, rock n’ roll, and pop culture.

This week’s show is live, so find out all the ways to listen here and you can call in with questions at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or even e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air!

Joanna Angel is a writer, producer, director, model and award-winning adult film star. She is the founder and owner of BurningAngel Entertainment – a production company that pioneered a new species of erotica known as “alt porn.” Joanna has stared in over 300 XXX movies and has appeared in every major adult magazine and has graced the pages of several tattoo magazines as well. In addition to her notoriety in the adult industry, she has stormed mainstream media in both TV and radio outlets. She has been featured on Fox News, Playboy TV, Fuse TV, G4 TV, KROQ Radio, SIRIUS Radio, the 2008 series premiere of TLC’s LA Ink, and a speaking role on Adult Swim’s “Children’s Hospital.” She has also appeared in The New York Times, Newsweek, The Village Voice, The New York Press, Esquire UK, Details, and Penthouse, among others. Joanna Angel has won many awards in the adult industry, for performing, directing, and for the quality of her website.

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Jun 282013
 

SAN FRANCISCO (June 28th, 2013): Good Vibrations, the trusted San Francisco Bay Area based multi-channel retail company that takes pride in providing accurate information on sexuality and quality sex toys for grown-ups, is delighted to announce a new partnership with Tristan Taormino. Taormino is an award-winning author, sex educator, speaker, filmmaker, and radio show host.

 

Good Vibrations and Taormino have joined forces, inking a one year deal to collaborate on several projects including Good Vibrations as the exclusive sex toy retail sponsor for the second season of Taormino’s popular radio show, Sex Out Loud.

Taormino will act as a brand ambassador for Good Vibrations for the next twelve months. In this role, Taormino will promote Good Vibrations during public appearances and college events, write original content for the Good Vibrations online magazine, promote exclusive kits and her favorite recommended toys for the stores and website, and spearhead Good Vibrations’ annual campaign about ‘backdoor’ pleasure- Anal Pleasure Month in August.

“Good Vibrations is the original sex-positive sex toy store that dramatically changed the sex education landscape. I’ve recommended them for years because of their commitment to quality products and exceptional customer service. I’m thrilled to have Good Vibrations be the presenting sponsor of Sex Out Loud, and excited to represent such a wonderful company,” says Taormino.

Good Vibrations Executive Vice President, Jackie Strano had this to add: “We are so pleased and elated to be working together. This is a perfect partnership of two brands that deeply care about people’s pleasure and sexual health. Besides being a wonderful human being, Tristan is a powerhouse sex positive feminist mover and shaker. It’s going to be a fun year!”

About Tristan Taormino®
Tristan Taormino® is an award-winning author, sex educator, speaker, filmmaker, and radio host. She is the author of seven books and has edited 25 anthologies. Taormino is the producer and host of Sex Out Loud®, a weekly radio show on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. She has directed and produced twenty-four adult films that have won more than a dozen awards. She has appeared on Melissa Harris-Perry, Joy Behar: Say Anything, HBO’s Real Sex, The Howard Stern Show, Loveline, MTV, CNN, NBC, MTV, Oxygen, Fox News, and The Discovery Channel.

Sex Out Loud premiered in 2012, and is the top-rated show across the entire network. It airs live every Friday at 5:00 pm Pacific time and 8:00 pm EST.

ABOUT GOOD VIBRATIONS
Good Vibrations is the San Francisco Bay Area based retailer trusted for more than three decades to provide a comfortable, safe environment for finding sex-positive products and educational materials to enhance one’s sex life. Good Vibrations offers its products through its retail stores and website. Stores are located in San Francisco, Berkeley, and Oakland, CA and in Brookline, MA.

Jun 272013
 

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This Friday on Sex Out Loud, I continue the show’s commitment to profile the most innovative, inventive, and ethical people in the sex toy industry, this week we have Metis Black, the founder and president of Tantus, Inc., the largest producer of silicone sex toys in America. Founded in 1997 with the intent to create art house sexual products, Black soon changed her mission to educate everyone on the use of silicone, the safest sex toy material around when created properly. The popularity of Tantus toys grew quickly and continues to expand to this day. Black will share stories from her 15+ years in the industry and answer your questions live about sex toy safety and upkeep.

This week’s show is live, so find out all the ways to listen here and you can call in with questions at 1-866-472-5788, join the discussion on Facebook or Twitter, or even e-mail me via tristan(at)puckerup.com and I’ll read them live on the air!

Metis Black founded and built Tantus, Inc., a sex toy manufacturing company that has helped change the profile of sexuality products. She has used Tantus to mainstream silicone products and educate the industry on material safety and sexuality. Metis’ success has brought her accolades inside and outside of her industry. Her articles on material safety standards in sexual products and the chemistry of personal products such as lubricants have been widely published. Some of her publishing credits include Good Vibrations Online Magazine, On Our Backs, Adult Novelty Business, XBiz, and The Free Speech Coalition. Plus she has been the “go to” industry person about sex toy material safety, quoted in hundreds of articles online and in print. Over the last decade, Metis has proven to be a champion for sex educators and a mentor to other small business owners.

Jun 272013
 

I love to feature lots of sex toys in my instructional movies, and there are plenty in Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples. When people watch my movies, they often email me to ask about a specific toy they saw in a scene. So, I’ve compiled this handy guide to all the toys in my movie, complete with links to the exact products as well as similar items and some of my favorites.

Scene 1: Lyla Storm and Danny Wylde

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Satin Blindfold from Sportsheets Sex & Mischief Line
Another great one: Soft Blindfold
Pink Leather Collar
Also fun: Bound to Please Leather Collar

 

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 Feather Tickler from Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit
Other cool stuff: Flirty Feather Mini Tickler and Experimental Kink Kit

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Edible goodies like Nipple Nibblers
My favorite edibles: Sensuous Chocolate Body Paint, Devour Me Lickable Oil, Lick Me Body Butter

 

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My favorite massage oil candles: Ambiance Luxury Massage Candles & Ignite Me Massage Candle
plus, not to be forgotten:  We-Vibe TouchPlease Cream Lubricant

Scene 2: Adrianna Nicole and Evan Stone

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Bondage cuffs with tethers from Sportsheets Sexy Slave Kit
More options: Cuff Love, Tethers & Leopard Restraints

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Sex & Mischief Feathered Nipple Clamps from The Fantasy Surrender Kit
Fun without the feathers: Alligator Nipple Clamps

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The Original Magic Wand Vibrator
System JO H2O Lubricant
Also great: Please Liquid Lubricant

 

Scene 3: Aiden Starr and Christian

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Blindfold and Collar from Sex & Mischief Red Restraint Kit
Something fun: Soft blindfold & Red Light Wrist Restraints
Aslan Leather White Jaguar Collar
Another good one: Bound to Please Leather Collar

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Black Leather Leash from Sex & Mischief Red Restraint Kit
I like this one: Black Leather Leash of Love

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The Original Magic Wand Vibrator
Pjur Original Body Glide

 

Scene 4: Asa Akira and Derrick Pierce

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Fur Lined Paddle
Another great paddle: Naughty and Nice Plush Paddle

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Lelo Luna Beads
A different option: Hold Onto Me Kegel Balls

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Little Flirt Butt Plug and MetalWorx Teaser Plug
My favorites: Sidekick Silicone Anal Plug & Njoy Pure Plug

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 The Original Magic Wand Vibrator
System JO H2O Lubricant
Also great: Please Gel Lubricant (great for anal!)

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Jun 262013
 

My girlfriend and I are considering experimenting with anal play on each other. But I am really nervous. I research everything, and several medical sites indicate anal play or anal sex can be linked to loss of bowel control. We are only considering anal toys like small butt plugs and anal vibrating probes (no sharp edges and made for this activity), but I am still quite nervous.

I did try a butt plug once before privately, and afterward I was a bit discomforted and itchy. There was no bleeding or terrible pain, but it felt more like a pulled muscle. Yet it made me nervous. Is some discomfort or “itchiness” normal if it was my first time? I did use lube, but then I researched and my fear began about trying anal play again, until my courageous girlfriend suggested it.

I realize these sites often report the worse case options (e.g. a headache is brain cancer, etc.). But I think people considering anal play for the first time could really use some advice as to the risk of loss of bowel control. Small tears and such can heal, but permanent damage scares me (more than my girlfriend). Having sad that, I have close friends who are very into anal sex and none of them seem to have a bowel problem!

–Jittery Instead of Jazzed

Stick with your girlfriend and your friends on this one, and take a deep breath. Just because you want to put things up your butt doesn’t mean you’re headed into the land of adult diapers! The few cases I’ve heard of where anal penetration lead to serious problems always involved drug use and irresponsible practices like no lubrication, no warm up, and foreign objects. As long as you go slowly, use lube and appropriate butt toys, you’ll be fine.

When you engage in anal penetration, you learn how to relax and control your sphincter muscles. Contrary to common myths, you are not stretching out those muscles, loosening them, or damaging them. As for your first anal experience, it’s common for the first time you have something in your ass to feel strange. Your ass is used to expelling things, not taking them in, so the feeling takes some getting used to. The itching may have been caused by a reaction to the lube or the material of the toy. I recommend you give it another try, have some patience, and go at your own pace.