blog – Page 22 – Pucker Up

Transform your Relationship 10x in 10 Minutes a Day with Reid Mihalko

Jan 162013

Over the holidays, Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com launched an amazing new program, Relationship 10x. When it comes to improving your relationships and transforming your love life, there is so much hype out there these days, and it gets frustrating to wade through the noise to get to the gold nuggets. That’s why I’m so pleased to share Reid’s information with you.

Reid Mihalko (who you may remember from his appearance on my show Sex Out Loud) is down-to-earth, practical, and funny. And the information he’s sharing does make a powerful difference in relationships. He gets down to the nitty-gritty fast, and shows us fundamental changes we can make to help our partners feel loved, honored and cherished. Why? So they (and we) feel more connected and intimate, which means we all have more bandwidth and joy to support each other.

Reid has produced four free videos with tips and information to help improve your relationship communication and give you a sample of the Relationship 10x program. Check out all 4 of them below!

~ How to stop fighting like Cats and Dogs and start loving. Watch this video to find out if you’re a Cat or a Dog when it comes to romance…and how this knowledge can improve your dynamic.

~ Saying What You’ve Haven’t Been Saying. Sharing what you’re really feeling with your loved ones creates intimacy like nothing else. It also builds/rebuilds trust. Reid’s approach makes these conversations so much easier, that he give us a formula on how to speak up when it’s difficult!

~ Self-Expression Trumps Attraction. Ever wished it wasn’t so long until “til death do us part”? Feel like your relationship ran out of steam a while ago, and only a defibrillator would bring it back to life? It’s time to stop struggling trying to be something we’re not, and start being self-expressed. When you share your TRUE self, the people who love YOUR particular quirks and talents will be drawn to the real you. Naturally!

~ What Your Lover’s Body And A Wineglass Have In Common. How do you listen to your partner’s body? Do you want to have more warm, magical, (and hot) touch in your life? Do you want your partner’s body to feel safe, open and alive under your hands? And to feel that open, deep passion yourself? Reid says that improving your ability to listen to your partner’s body and hear it is the best advice he can give you for how to transform your sexual and sensuality skillsets.

If you enjoyed those videos, you will love the entire Relationship 10x program. Relationship10x is a daily program you engage with for 6 weeks. This gives you and your partner time to get under the hood of your relationship, to recognize and break bad habits and anchor new, powerful ones in place. You’ll create new patterns of relating around communication, sex and affection and relationship IQ.

And it won’t take a lifetime. It can happen in as little as 10-minutes a day. Really.

In Relationship10x Reid will guide you in upgrading and updating your relationship skills so you can eliminate the conflicts and stress of trying to make old approaches work in a modern world. You and your loved ones deserve it!

Can you afford to let your relationships flounder one more day? Make 2013 the year you make your relationship 10X better.

Anal Advisor: Lubeless

Jan 152013

I love anal sex, and my wife tries her best to enjoy it too. Here’s the problem: it seems I can never get enough lube up inside her to smooth out the ride, and the resulting friction causes her a lot of pain, thus severely limiting our anal encounters. How can I get more lube where it’s needed? Is there a type of lube that works better for anal intercourse? We’ve been using a water-based lube, but it just doesn’t seem to cut it. She has no problem with toys in there, but it seems that every time I get a shot, all the lube rubs off somehow, no matter how much I use. If I could only find an answer to this dilemma, she’d enjoy the experience a lot more and be more willing to try it more often (right now, it’s like a once-a-year thing). Any hints or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

–Lubeless

I am glad to hear you’re using lube, but it sounds like there is still room for improvement. First, you didn’t specify what brand of lube you’re using. I recommend a thick water-based lube that has a consistency similar to hair gel, and one of my favorites is Astroglide Gel. You may also want to experiment with a silicone lube, and the thickest one on the market is Eros Gel.

As for getting enough lube where it needs to be, there are two new products on the market that are designed to do that very job! Astroglide Gel Shooter is a soft plastic tube of lube with a long flexible neck. Tear off the top, slide the neck inside her ass and squeeze. Voila: lube right where you need it! The Lube Shooter is a disposable plastic syringe with a flared base for safety. You remove the plunger, fill it with your favorite lube (which can be a little messy), and replace the plunger. Before you put it in her ass, push the plunger down a little to begin the flow of lube and let any air out. Lube the tip of the syringe and gently insert it into the ass. Push the plunger down gently to release the lube. You can refill it and repeat. When you’re done, throw it away.

If you like the look of metal, are into medical toys, or simply want to use something that looks a lot more menacing than a small plastic syringe, then I recommend a stainless steel syringe — often called an enema syringe or a lube syringe — which you can find on medical fetish and other specialty sex product websites. It holds a lot more lube than the plastic ones and has a decidedly more daring aesthetic. Made of polished metal, it comes with two interchangeable tips (pointy and rounded) and is available in several different sizes; the most common are 100 cubic centimeters (cc) and 200 cc (which are equivalent to 100 ml and 200 ml). The 200 cc syringe is the size of a large, thick dildo, so it should only be used on very experienced bottoms. To use it, pull back the plunger, then unscrew the top and fill the body with lube. Replace the top, then push the plunger down a little to begin the flow of lube and let any air out before you insert it. Then lube the tip, carefully insert it into the ass, and push the plunger down. To clean the syringe, take it apart, and wash it gently with warm water and anti-bacterial soap. Since this toy has a bunch of nooks and crevices, I like to go one step further and soak it for a few minutes in a diluted bleach solution (10 parts water, 1 part bleach). Make sure you dry all the parts completely, since if left damp, they can rust.

Jan 18: All About Prostate Pleasure with Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

Jan 142013

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This week on Sex Out Loud I welcome Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian, the authors of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners, who bring their combined years of expertise as sex educators to answer all of your questions about the prostate. They’ll discuss common concerns and questions on the topics of prostate health, massage, toys, and pegging, as well as teach how prostate pleasure can improve your sex life. This show is live and we’ll be taking questions on the air from listeners as well, so call in at 866-472-5788 with your question or post them on Facebook or Twitter.

charlie and aislinn

Charlie Glickman: I’ve been a sexuality educator for over twenty years. I got my start providing queer outreach and safer sex workshops as a student at Brown University and when I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area, I volunteered at for LGBT outreach and support organizations, the rape crisis center, and sex education organizations. In 1996, I was hired at Good Vibrations, where I was the Education Program Manager until 2013. I received my PhD in Adult Sexuality Education from the Union Institute and University in Cincinnati in 2005, and I’m certified as a sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. I’ve taught university courses for therapists and clergy, provided in-service trainings for medical and mental health professionals, and I teach workshops on a wide range of topics, including sex-positivity, sex & shame, gender & masculinity, sexual orientation, communities of erotic affiliation, and many sexual practices such as prostate play, anal sex, pegging, sex toys, BDSM, and polyamory. I also present at conferences and community events.

Aislinn Emirzian: I became involved in sexuality education as a student at Smith College in Massachusetts, where I joined a student-run peer sex ed group that was affiliated with the college’s health services. During my 2 years of participation in this program, I facilitated workshops for fellow students on topics like safer sex methods, sexual anatomy and sex-positivity. I was also thrilled to have the opportunity to give a lecture and Powerpoint presentation on feminist pornography! Following graduation, I continued in the field, working with sex positive adult toy stores: First, Oh My Sensuality Shop in Massachusetts, and later Good Vibrations in California. During my involvement with Oh My, I developed and managed a new in-home toy party program run by the store, while also facilitating toy parties, assisting customers at the shop, and representing the store in outreach workshops. At Good Vibrations, I received a great deal of sexuality training, attended as many After Hours workshops as I could, and generally dove head-first into the thriving sex-positive community of the Bay Area. Having landed myself in “sex world,” I noticed that there was a growing interest in prostate massage (especially among heterosexual couples), but very little information available on the subject. With Charlie, I co-authored The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners. During the year 2013, I will begin a year-long book tour during which I will teach my prostate pleasure workshop at venues all across the country.

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Jan 11: Dr. Eli Sheff on Polyamory and Families & Sinclair Sexsmith on Lesbian BDSM Erotica

Jan 062013

This week’s episode of Sex Out Loud has two different guests talking about their work giving voice to sexual minorities who are often marginalized in the community. Dr. Eli Sheff will talk about her new book based on her groundbreaking work with Polyamorous Family Study, a 16 year project. The mission of the Polyamorous Family Study is to provide high-quality, research-based information about poly families with kids using sound research methods based in years of sociological study. Sinclair Sexsmith is the kinky butch top behind the the popular Sugarbutch Chronicles. They’re also a writer, storyteller, and performer who studies critical feminist & gender theory, sexual freedom, social change activism, archetypes, and the tantric and buddhist spiritual systems.

dr eli sheff A pioneer in research on polyamory, Dr. Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamory in the US, and the worldwide expert on poly families with children, having conducted the only longitudinal analysis of poly families with children to date. After teaching Sociology for 15 years at three universities, Dr. Sheff established the Sheff Consulting Group (SCG), a think-tank of academicians and professionals who specialize in legal and educational services for unconventional populations, and those who need to know about them. As the Senior Legal Consultant at SCG, Dr. Sheff specializes in families of sexual minorities, providing expert witness services, home evaluations for unconventional families facing child custody issues or attempting to adopt kids, andcontinuing education to lawyers, educators, counselors, and therapists. Her book The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple Partner Relationships and Families is being published by Rowman and Littlefield in 2013.

Sinclair Sexsmith (MrSexsmith.com) writes the award-winning personal online project Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Sex, Gender, and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top at SugarButch.net. They have contributed to more than a dozen anthologies, and is the editor of Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica. They teach workshops ongender and sexuality throughout the US, including at various colleges.

Topping Not as Low Risk as Previously Thought?

Jan 022013

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A new study in Australia shows the risk of contracting HIV while engaged in the practice of topping or taking the “insertive role” in sex. This practice is thought by many to be a lower risk activity when engaging in unprotected sex, but the research is indicating otherwise. How is the virus being transmitted from the receiver to the person on top?

During anal sex, HIV can be transmitted to the insertive partner when a bodily fluid containing HIV from the receptive partner, such as anal mucus, enters the body of the insertive partner. This can occur through the foreskin and surrounding areas, the eye of the penis to the urethra (also a mucous membrane), or through tiny (often invisible) breaks in the skin of the penis.

…

Anal mucus is increasingly being mentioned in Australian campaigns as the infectious body fluid potentially infecting the insertive partner during unprotected anal intercourse.

This is a significant piece of the puzzle which reminds us about how HIV can be transmitted during unprotected anal intercourse. I recommend everyone read it to stay informed about transmission and share it with your lovers, partners, and friends. Full article here: It’s Time To Talk Top: The Risk Of Insertive, Unprotected Anal Sex

Courtney Trouble’s LESBIAN CURVES out on DVD January 15th

Jan 022013

lesbian curves

The newest TROUBLEfilms release is here! Shipping out to stores by January 11th and officially for sale on January 15th, Lesbian Curves is a full-length vignette-style feature that showcases curvaceous women getting each other off with bountiful body worship and hardcore sex.

On the shelf next to your best-selling Lesbian or BBW porn titles, Lesbian Curves fits right in with either, while also standing out on it’s own as a premier title that blends the two genres with perfect cohesion. This title will be easy to sell to your avid BBW fans as well as your lesbian porn aficionados. Lesbian Curves is a film that your customers will want to own on DVD, as it’s high definition content, gorgeous cover art, and fantastic bonus videos add special value to the hard copy.

This gorgeous film stars Courtney Trouble, Kelly Shibari, Betty Blac, Sophia St James, Sandy Bottoms, Kitty Stryker, Peppermint Fatty, and Eden Alexander and was shot in full HD.

Hard copy DVDs as well as digital screeners are also available to press for coverage or review. Request via email at info@troublefilms.com

To Order Lesbian Curves for your retail establishment:

Send Purchase Order to info@troublefilms.com
Lesbian Curves is $12/unit. We offer a 10% discount for over 15 dvds. There is a 10 dvd minimum. We can mix and match with any other dvds in the catalog: http://troublefilms.com/ordering-information/ Please include billing and shipping information, and contact emails and phone numbers for your lead buyer and accounting/bill fulfillment representatives. For your ease, we’ve prepared an online ordering form you can use as well:
http://troublefilms.com/wholesale-order-form/

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About TROUBLEfilms

Lesbian Curves is TROUBLEfilms 3rd DVD release. TROUBLEfilms garnered 3 AVN award nominations this year for thier film and web projects Live Sex Show on DVD, queerporntube.com, and indiepornrevolution.com. TROUBLEfilms is a porn production company that focuses on sex-positive, diverse, and authentic representation headed by award-winning pornographer Courtney Trouble. TROUBLEfilms also serves as a distribution point for other great porn projects, like James Darling’s FTMFuckers.Com website and the films of Handbasket Productions/Tobi Hill-Meyer.
Established in 2011.

TROUBLEfilms’ newest project is lesbiancurves.com. It is a full website about the film, with an affiliate-loaded blog with extra content and curated links to other fantastic lesbian and BBW porn titles and websites. The entire project is produced, directed, edited, and released by Courtney Trouble.

About Courtney Trouble

Courtney Trouble is a film-maker, adult performer, photographer, queer rights activist, DIY genius, and an award-winning feminist pornographer. Courtney is the founder of TROUBLEfilms, IndiePornRevolution.Com, and QueerPorn.TV, as well of the director of 14 full-length films, including the Reel Queer Production line through Good Releasing and 3 films through their own line at TROUBLEfilms. For current releases, please see TROUBLEfilms.Com

Queer Porn Icon Courtney Trouble has been producing, directing, and performing in Queer Porn since 2002, and is responsible for coining the term “Queer Porn” as a genre in the mainstream industry. Nominated for 7 AVN Awards, and winner of 5 Feminist Porn Awards, Courtney Trouble’s ﬁlms speak to an extremely ﬂuid, authentic, and hardcore version of graphic sexual imagery.

Jan 4: Adult Film Legend Nina Hartley

Jan 012013

nina hartley

I’m so thrilled to welcome the legendary Nina Hartley to the first 2013 episode of Sex Out Loud, this Friday, January 4th at 5 pm PT / 8 pm PT. We’ll talk about her long and varied career as well as her perspective on the new generation of sex-positive performer/activists and how social media provides her with opportunities to spread her message of knowledge and empowerment. She’ll discuss the recent launch of her fleshlight as well as her book, Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex. This show is live and calls are welcome – we want to hear from all you Nina fans! Tell your stories of how you first came to her work and take advantage of this chance to ask a question on the great Nina Hartley.

Nina Hartley is a pioneering feminist worker, using her body in the service of promoting a sexually sane and literate society. She is thrilled to see a new generation of sex-positive performer/activists take its space and spread the good news about sex. For the past thirty years her rock-solid commitment to the importance of sexual autonomy has fueled Nina Hartley’s career in adult entertainment. As a performer, director, writer, educator, public speaker, and feminist thinker for all, no matter their orientation, she’s traveled the world to deliver her message. She believes that sexual freedom is a fundamental human right and welcomes the new social media opportunities for spreading her message of knowledge and empowerment to the widest number of people. She’s the author of, “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex,” from Avery Press. Putting to use her B.S. degree in nursing, she and her husband, I.S. Levine, have produced the million-selling sex-ed video series collectively known as “The Nina Hartley Guides,” from Adam & Eve, currently in its 38th episode. Still active in front of the camera, she and her husband live in Los Angeles.

Fleshbot reviews Expert Guide to Female Ejaculation

Jan 012013

Fleshbot posted a great review of my latest DVD, The Expert Guide to Female Ejaculation.

You may be aware that many squirt porn movies just fake the whole thing; rest assured that Tristan Taormino engages in none of those shenanigans. The female cast of this film is made up of bona fide squirters–and it’s fascinating to see the many different ways that they squirt (and the different things that make them squirt).

You can read the whole thing here: http://straight.fleshbot.com/5942175/so-you-want-to-squirt-tristan-taorminos-expert-guide-to-female-ejaculation

And if you didn’t get exactly what you wanted for the holidays, check out About.com and Corey Silverberg’s list of Sex Book Gifts and use a giftcard to buy exactly what you need for yourself! He included my collection, Take Me There, on the list, which I appreciate.

Dec 28: David Jay on Asexuality

Dec 262012

David Jay, SF and Mary Kame

On December 28th’s episode of Sex Out Loud, I’ll be talking to David Jay, the founder of Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), the world’s largest online asexual community as well as a large archive of resources on asexuality. We’ll discuss what asexuality is, the growing movement of people who identify as asexual, and how asexuality fits into the queer organizing movement. Jay will talk about his interest in the way that relationships and communities form, as well as his role in the recent documentary, (A)sexual.

David Jay is the founder of asexuality.org, the world’s largest organization of people who identify as asexual. He has helped grow the asexual community from a dispersed group of individuals to an international movement with over 70,000 members. His work has been highlighted in the New York Times and on 20/20, and has been the subject of a feature-length documentary, (A)sexual. He regularly speaks on asexuality and works to promote open, honest dialog about the asexual community.

Submit Your Proposal On Sexuality and Media to SwellCon

Dec 202012

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Media has an enormous impact on how we view and engage in conversations about sex and sexuality. Broadly defined erotic media can be a tool for social change but can also reinforce stereotypes and promote a sex negative cultural backlash. Whether it is a porn film, a book of erotica, mainstream news coverage of sexual issues, social media bringing together sexual communities, or a sexy picture from a photo archive illustrating a news story, it is clear that the intersection of sexuality and the media is rapidly changing both discourses on sexuality and the media landscape itself. SWELL is a conference devoted to critical conversations about these forms of media, conversations that need to be dynamic, challenging, and creative. This meeting is meant to be a space for discussion, synthesis, and collaboration, a praxis on erotic media which in which we share both broader theoretical frameworks and practical skills. We invite presenters who engage with erotic media in any way: in their business, in their activism, as a side project to other callings and disciplines, or as their central passion and life’s work.

SwellCon is a project hosted by The Smitten Kitten, a progressive sex toys and supplies provider and community resource located in Minneapolis, MN, USA. We are organizing this conference in honor of our 10th anniversary. It is very important to us that under-represented voices and communities be able to present and attend SwellCon. To that end, we will be offering honorariums on a sliding scale to cover travel and lodging costs as well as to pay you for your unique contribution to the success of SwellCon! We especially encourage people of color, differently-abled people, sex workers, LGBTQUIA folks, people of faith, and non-academics to send proposals and attend!

Deadline for Submissions: February 28th, 2013. Details are below or the link to the submission guidelines is here: http://swellcon.com/category/submit-a-proposal/

Submission Guidelines:

You may propose either an individual presentation or a pre-constituted panel. Please note that because of limited time and space, we will be unable to accommodate all proposals, and we reserve the right to reconstitute some panels for reasons of time, space, and non-duplication of topics.

Please send us a proposal with the following information:

Session Title:
Presenter(s):
Equipment Needs and Special Considerations (AV, room layout, etc.):
What topic(s) of interest does your session address?
In a paragraph, describe your session topic:
What is the main thesis of your presentation? What do you hope to achieve during the session? What is the take away?
How would you describe the format of your proposed session? (roundtable discussion, lecture, small group work, skill share, etc.)
What learning styles will your session utilize (visual, oral, tactile, etc.)?
Please note that we are unable to accommodate live, explicit demonstrations in the conference area. Please contact me directly if you would like to discuss alternatives spaces.

Topics
We are interested in a wide range of topics for SWELL. These include, but are not limited to:

Media Skill Share
examples of topics that may be covered:
DIY Erotic Media, DSLR Photography and Videography, Editing in Free Software, Photoshop, and Final Cut Pro, Writing, Blogging and Web design, Podcasting and Internet Radio

Finding the Erotic Muse in Your Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Writing Erotica, Humor and Comedy in Sexual Media, Innovation and Idiosyncrasy in Erotic Video, Performance and Sex Education, Crafting a Public Persona

Erotic Media and Social, Cultural, and Economic Change
examples of topics that may be covered:
Historical Perspectives on Erotic Media, Technological Change and Perceptions of Sexuality, Second Wave Feminism and New Media, Future Perspectives on Erotic Media

Censorship and The Politics of Erotic Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Sex Work and Media, Education and Erotic Media, Censorship and Online Payment Technologies, Age-Appropriate Educational Media, Media and Sex-Positive Parenting

The Business of Erotic Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Erotic Media and The Law, Making Money While Making Erotic Media, Using Media as a Tool of Your Business, Accounting for Your Media

Consent Culture and Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Privacy and Social Networks, Fetlife, Privacy and Photo/File Sharing, Is Anyone Up?, Instagram, Facebook Posting Guidelines, Online Sexual Bullying and Harassment

Self-Distribution of Media Content
examples of topics that may be covered:
Sex Education and New Media, Podcasting, You Tube, eBooks, Digital Piracy, and the Artisanal Media Maker

Diversity and visibility in sexual media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Interlocking Oppressions and Erotic Media, Sex, Identity, and Bodily Autonomy in the Erotic Media age, ability, race, gender identity, Representing Kink and Non-Monogamy

Sexual media and the mainstream
examples of topics that may be covered:
Daytime Talk TV, Portrayal of Porn and Sex Work in Hollywood and Indiewood, News Coverage of Marriage Equality, Sex Worker Rights, California’s Prop B and Prop 35, Sexual Panics and Right-Wing Media Backlash, Pop Culture and Erotic Media

Please email question and submissions to Clare Jacky at clare@smittenkittenonline.com

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