June 8: Susie Bright & Aretha Bright: Mother/Daughter Sex Advice

Jun 052012
 


My guests on Sex Out Loud on Friday, June 8 at 5:00 pm Pacific time/8:00 pm Eastern time on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network are Susie Bright and her daughter Aretha Bright. We’ll talk about Susie’s memoir, Big Sex, Little Death, what it was like growing up with a sexpert Mom, how to talk to your kids about sex, and their new book, Mother/Daughter Sex Advice. Plus, I’ll put them to the test when I ask them to answer questions from listeners.

Susie Bright is the author more than a dozen books, including Full Exposure: Opening Up to Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression, How to Write a Dirty Story: Reading, Writing, and Publishing Erotica, and Mommy’s Little Girl: On Sex, Motherhood, Porn, & Cherry Pie. She is the editor of more than 25 anthologies, including The Best American Erotica series and the Herotica series.  Her memoir, Big Sex Little Death was recently released in paperback. She is the host and producer of Audible’s weekly podcast, In Bed With Susie Bright. Bright was co-founder and editor of On Our Backs magazine, and the first journalist to cover erotic cinema and the porn business in the mainstream press. A progenitor of the sex-positive movement, Bright taught the first university course on pornography, and brought lasting sexual influence to her role in films like Bound and The Celluloid Closet, as well as playing herself, “the feminist sex writer,” on Six Feet Under. She co-authored her latest book, Mother/Daughter Sex Advice, with her daughter Aretha Bright.

Aretha Bright’s debut book is Mother/Daughter Sex Advice. She is 21 and lives in San Francisco. She can’t boast the same credentials as her mom yet (She’s ready to fly down to Hollywood at a moment’s notice!) but is busy as a new author, pysch graduate from San Francisco State University, and working gal. Aretha is interested in travel, sex, books, holidays, and pizza, among other things. You can follow Aretha on her blog.

June 1: Dan Savage on Sex Ed, His New MTV Show, Bullying The Bible, Same-Sex Marriage and more

May 042012
 

My radio show Sex Out Loud debuts on Friday, June 1 at 5:00 pm Pacific time/8:00 pm Eastern time on the VoiceAmerica Talk Radio Network. I am honored, thrilled, and a little bit giddy that my very first guest is none other than Dan Savage. Author, columnist, activist, and media pundit Dan Savage isn’t holding anything back in this revealing interview. He’ll tackle the danger and ineffectiveness of abstinence-only sex education and the troubling news that the Obama administration recently backed another conservative organization called The Heritage Keepers. We’ll discuss the recent scandal over Savage’s comments at a high school journalism convention about the Bible (see video below) that lead to intense criticism from both the left and the right, with people calling him a bully, a bigot, and the gay Santorum. He’ll talk about what he regrets and what he doesn’t. Plus, he’ll share some behind-the-scenes dirt on his new MTV show Savage U, and we’ll talk about gay marriage and the state of the LGBT movement.

Dan Savage is an author, media pundit, journalist and newspaper editor who pens the internationally syndicated sex advice column “Savage Love.” He is the author of Skipping Towards Gomorrah, The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family, and The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided To Go Get Pregnant, a memoir about becoming a father. In 2010, Savage and his husband Terry Miller began the It Gets Better Project to help prevent suicide among LGBT youth and they co-edited the book It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living. He is the star of MTV’s new show Savage U, which debuted in April, and follows him as he speaks to college students about sex and relationships on campuses around the country.

BBC News, London Free Press, Toronto Sun, Canoe

Feb 062012
 

I’m quoted giving major props to Betty Dodson in “Up Close and Extremely Personal” in an article about a new coffee table book Vulva 101, which appeared in both the Toronto Sun and the London Free Press.

There’s also been more media coverage of open relationships. I’m quoted in this BBC news article, Is it Possible to Be in a Happy Open Marriage? and I did an interview for the piece “Can Open Relationships Work?” in Canoe

Generative Somatics: Somatic Transformation and Social Justice

Jan 262012
 

generative somatics has their new schedule of classes and intensives for 2012 up at the newly revamped site.  They offer a year-long training for politicized healers and practitioners, as well as stand alone 4 day intensives geared towards organizers, activists, and movement builders who want to get exposed to this transformative work. What exactly is Somatics? Here’s an excerpt from their FAQ:

Somatics is a path, a methodology, a change theory, by which we can embody transformation, individually and collectively. Embodied transformation is foundational change that shows in our actions, ways of being, relating, and perceiving. It is transformation that sustains over time. Somatics pragmatically supports our values and actions becoming aligned. It helps us to develop depth and the capacity to feel ourselves, each other and life around us. Somatics builds in us the ability to act from strategy and empathy, and teaches us to be able to assess conditions and “what is” clearly. Somatics is a practice-able theory of change that can move us toward individual, community and collective liberation. Somatics works through the body, engaging us in our thinking, emotions, commitments, vision and action.

You’ll find course descriptions, gs papers and theory, movement partners and more at their website, including applications and registration for their programs. Go check it out and spread the word to other people you know who would benefit.

 


 

Cultural Competence with BDSM Clients

Jan 162012
 

Author and therapist  Dossie Easton is presenting a seminar on February 4th in Corte Madera, CA, called  Voices from the Margins: Cultural Competency with BDSM Clients, that is geared towards therapists and professionals who wish to expand their understanding of BDSM in order to help better serve their clients. Register before January 21 to get a discount, details on the seminar are here below.

Voices from the Margins: Cultural Competency with BDSM Clients

Saturday, February 4th, 2012, 9 am to 4 pm
Town Center Community Room
770 Tamalpais Drive
Corte Madera CA 04925

The goal of this seminar is to increase participants’ understanding and knowledge about BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) practices, and lifestyles, including reality-based knowledge of what BDSM players actually do and how they negotiate consent and plan for physical and emotional safety. Participants will learn a psychodynamic approach that will help them understand why people are drawn to these practices and how they might use the support of therapy to unpack the narrative or personal mythos enacted in their play with power and eroticism.

Participants will learn how to maintain a nonjudgmental stance, ask respectful questions and create a safe environment in their consulting rooms so that their BDSM clients will feel free to share their realities and discuss their issues in the therapeutic encounter. Participants will be able to:

………….Understand their clients’ sexual practices without judging them and assess how they
handle safety, negotiation and consent.
………….Make an informed decision about their cultural competence to treat such clients or seek
consultation and further information versus when it would be best to refer to a specialist.
………….Welcome discussions of their clients’ sexualities as an important part of their therapy and
honor their clients’ sexual choices.

Further information about Ms. Easton’s practice and writings can be found at www.dossieeaston.com

REGISTRATION:

Cost: CIP Members: $65 early registration, $75 after January 21
Non Members: $100 early registration, $110 after January 21

CEUs: 6 CEUs for MFTs & LCSWs, 6 CEUs approved by MCEPAA for Psychologists.

Register Online at www.cipmarin.org, select “Professional Development” and choose
“Seminars for Professionals”, click on the course title.

Phone: 415 459-5999 x101.

Mail check or money order
with your name, degree, license number, phone & email to:
Community Institute for Psychotherapy
1330 Lincoln Avenue #201
San Rafael CA 94901.

Compersion, Pegging, and Take Me There gets more love

Jan 072012
 

 

“Yes, yes—oh god YES! Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica finally satisfies a longtime craving of the genderfucked and genderfucking to accurately articulate the complexities of queer desire into raunchy written words. Edited by Tristan Taormino and flaunting big bylines like Kate Bornstein, Patrick Califia, and S. Bear Bergman, this queerotic collection refreshingly reflects that queer sex isn’t just about gender-variant pronouns or redefined dirty bits, but about what you do with them. Having read the many diversely deviant entries in Take Me There, we’d advise reading this one with one hand.—Y.T.H.

Reclaiming Desire Workshop with Dossie Easton and Deborah Taj Anapol

Dec 072011
 

Dossie Easton and Deobrah Taj Anapol will be giving a one-day workshop, Reclaiming Desire, on January 14, 2012 in San Rafael, CA. This is a great opportunity to engage with two amazing professionals and learn how to explore the power of your desires.  Details on the workshop and information on how to register below.

RECLAIMING DESIRE with Dossie Easton & Deborah Taj Anapol
January 14th, 2012, 11 am to 6 pm in San Rafael, CA

Dossie and Deborah have each been instrumental in creating today’s global shift toward embracing diversity in sexual relating. They now work to support people to create and maintain many varieties of healthy relationships. In this one-day workshop they will join forces to offer an extraordinary exploration of the power of sexual desire. Don’t miss this one-time collaboration of two powerful icons! While we need not act on every desire, when we deny what we feel we cast our disowned selves into the shadow along with our passion and our excitement. In this powerful experiential workshop we’ll journey through the obstacles and fears which can block our natural energy, and clear the path for amazing loving connections.

You can learn how to gracefully manage jealousy without stifling your feelings;
Be clear about who you are without getting stuck in a limiting identity; and
Know what you want and ask for it while honoring everyone’s relationships.

Cost: $108 per person. Register online here.

Deborah Taj Anapol, Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology is the author of Polyamory in the 21st Century, The Seven Natural Laws of Love and Love Without Limits. She now offers seminars, training, and sexual healing, tantra, and relationship coaching for partners & singles worldwide in person, via phone, & Skype. Visit her at www.lovewithoutlimits.com for complete schedule of upcoming workshops, books, free articles, and coaching formats.

Dossie Easton is a licensed psychotherapist working with individuals, couples and moresomes in her private practice in San Francisco. She is co-author with Janet Hardy of The Ethical Slut, Radical Ecstasy, and others, and she lectures and leads workshops on polyamory and ecstatic spiritual practices internationally. Dossie has been an active sex radical since 1961. Website: www.dossieeaston.com.

Want to Have My Cake and Eat It, Too

Nov 302005
 

I am very into anal play: rimming, butt plugs, and especially anal beads. However, I have some apprehension about penetration with a cock. A friend of mine who indulges in anal sex had told me that it made her ass, well, looser. In other words, it didn’t leak, but she found that the initial penetration of various objects became easier after she started doing anal. I am concerned that if I start indulging in penetration with a penis, that it will become noticeably easier to insert other non-human objects.

In particular, I’m concerned that my husband will start to notice because I currently have a lover on the side to satisfy my other needs (primarily BDSM). I am worried that if I start to let my lover fuck my ass that my husband (who is way too big for anal penetration) will notice and suspect something is up. What advice would you give me to let me have the cock and not get in trouble?

–Want to Have My Cake and Eat It, Too

Your friend who regularly has anal sex and now finds penetration easier is a little confused. Penetration done right will not make your ass looser or result in you losing control of your bowels—that’s a myth. However, it will make subsequent penetration easier, but not because you’re all stretched out. The more experience you have, the more you get used to relaxing your anal sphincter muscles and the easier it is to accommodate bigger toys or penises.

I think what you’re asking is: if I have anal penetration with a cock, will my husband be able to tell that I am having an affair and getting regularly buttfucked? The answer is: it depends. Will he be able to tell that you’re getting fucked in the ass just by looking? No. Will he figure it out if he plays with your ass? Well, he will probably notice that your ass can relax and open up easier and in less time than before; whether that causes suspicion or not really depends on him and your relationship. While I support people having multiple partners to meet their different sexual needs, everyone needs to be on the same page. Your husband has not consented to this other relationship, which isn’t fair to him. Ultimately, I can’t really condone cheating, nor can I offer any tricks to help you not get caught.

Can’t Read Her Mind or Her Ass

Nov 142005
 

My wife seems to like the naughtiness of receiving my dick up her ass, but I don’t think she really likes it. We haven’t done it that much, but when I get it in there she does her sexy groan like when she’s going to come from a good licking. Part of it is we haven’t used much lube except her cunt juice. I don’t know if I really want to ask her if she wants to have it or not because she may say no, and I don’t want to go there. We’ve talked about it outside of the bedroom and she says she does it because she knows it turns me on and she likes to submit to my power over her. She’s very much in tune to her body and loves trying new things. Any advice on getting her more into it?

–Can’t Read Her Mind or Her Ass

Before you think about getting your wife “more into” anal sex, you need to figure out if she is into it at all. Although you’ve talked with her a little bit about the subject, you need to talk about it a lot more. She says she does it to please you, but does she enjoy any other aspect of it besides the pleasure it brings you? It troubles me that you have avoided asking her direct questions about it for fear that her answers might not be the ones you want to hear. You both need to be honest with one another about your desires and needs when it comes to anal sex.

As for the lack of lube, well, that’s not helping matters. You absolutely need lube for penetration to be comfortable for her; in this case, her cunt juice is not enough. But first and foremost, her desire must be there for it to work at all.

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