Tristan Taormino

New York

Life is a Cabaret: A Review of Cabaret Desire

Aug 242012
 

 

Cabaret Desire, a new adult film by Erika Lust, is truly a work of art. Set inside a haven of erotic storytelling, this film transports viewers to a mystical world of play, desire, fantasy, and sex. It feels like a grown-up fairytale. Pole dancers sweat. Soft music plays. Drinks are poured. Patrons weave in and out. A fierce-looking Madame watches the events unfold. However, the central theme of Cabaret Desire revolves around the storytellers, who are paid to share tales of love and lust. These sagas quickly evolve into their own steamy scenes, making this a fairytale where everyone gets a happy ending—especially you.

There are four, unique (yet equally compelling) stories in Cabaret Desire. The first follows a young, busty, tattooed woman (Sophia Prada). She is torn between two lovers. The catch? Both of her lovers are named Alex —one is female, one is male, and they each believe that they are her exclusive partner. She balances this affair for a while, successfully convincing either Alex that they are the only one she serenades in the park or fucks on the couch. But the audience is onto her little secret. Erika Lust masterfully juxtaposes the dates—and the sex—creating a beautiful montage of all the strap-on wearing, genital licking, finger-fucking that takes place with between Prada and either Alex.

The next plotline is the kinkiest (which isn’t saying much—Cabaret Desire is definitely for folks looking for a softer erotic flick). A mustachioed storyteller speaks of his mother—an art historian with a penchant for thievery and latex. Seconds later, we watch a beautiful woman in full-body latex (Lourdes “Lady Diamond”) break into a parlor and tie an unsuspecting man to a chair. After cutting off his boxers with scissors (a splash of danger) and sucking his cock, she proceeds to unzip the crotch of her latex suit and sit on his face. The scene ends with them fucking and the surprising discovery that this man is the father of her child.

Following the tale of the latex mommy comes a birthday girl (Liandra Dahl) who, for the big 3-0, gets a very special present. Her friends orchestrate for her to be blindfolded and led to a warehouse. In a room draped with white fabric, she sees a man (Matisse). She admits to having been interested in him for a while and the pair sucks, fucks, and cums on the cloud-like bed. The lighting makes this scene seem almost romantic, and yet we are fully aware that their interaction is a gift-exchange, thus complicating the typical romance narrative.

The last story features a man (Didac Duran) and a woman (Samia Duarte) who once shared a passionate, sex-filled weekend (which we, the viewers, are blessed to see snippets of). Now, a year later, the partners are meeting up. Both are quite curious about whether their old spark will still be there…and so are we.

These storylines are brought to life by the performers and their wonderful chemistry. Best of all, Cabaret Desire features a range of bodies—all of which look incredibly real. You can see small pockmarks, belly rolls, and a variety of pubic hairstyles. This beautiful depiction of the human form makes the film come across as more intimate, almost as if you are peeking into the real-life stories of a lucky few.

All in all, Cabaret Desire is a must-see film for anyone looking for the perfect mix of porn and art. As I mentioned earlier, it is not hardcore, but don’t let that deter you. The cinematography, music, and interwoven plotlines make it enjoyable even on a non-erotic level. So let your brain linger in a magical world of sex and storytelling. You won’t be disappointed.

Buy Cabaret Desire: Good Vibrations (DVD) or Hot Movies for Her (VOD)

~~~

Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

I’m a Hump Day Hero and Lambda Literary Gets Their Kink On

Aug 232012
 

  • The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health featured me as one of their Hump Day Heros! Thank you so much, CSPH. Go read the interview here

In a world increasingly dominated (pun intended) by 50 Shades of Grey and other arguably unrealistic representations of BDSM, Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM Role Play and the Erotic Edge is exactly what we need. This primer takes the biggest names in the kink world and binds them together (the puns here are endless) into the kind of how-to guide our community has desperately needed for a long time

  • And finally, Get Lusty has a list of 20 sex educators to follow on Twitter – including yours truly! Check out the whole list here.

Ask the Intern: Confused About What I Like

Aug 222012
 

 

I like men and I like having sex with them. However, I find it difficult to tell them what I like, since I’m not sure what I like myself. Plus, I’m an irregular orgasm-er with masturbation. Worse, it’s porn-conditioned: I most frequently get off to porn. Without porn, it’s pretty darn difficult. These days, what usually gets me off, non-porn wise, is imagining going down on another woman. Fun, huh?

I am only at the beginning of my active sexual life. What am I to do?? Help!

Overwhelmed Toronto Tart

Start by patting yourself on the back (or your pussy). You can have orgasms! So what if they are masturbation-based or require porn? Many people struggle with achieving an orgasm in any capacity. But you, my friend, have a general understanding of how to get yourself off. Congratulations.

However, when it comes to cumming, it’s nice to have a better-than-general understanding of your pleasure points. So grab a vibrator, glob on some lube, and explore your body. Learn what you like. Push yourself (within limits of safety and comfort) to test new positions and sensations. In terms of orgasms, we are our own best teachers. Self-pleasure is the first lesson plan.

Now onto your porn woes…stop worrying. Just because you get off easiest from porn does not mean that you will lead a life of solo orgasms and subsequent spinsterhood.   Pornography does not have to be experienced alone. Watching porn with a partner can be an incredibly arousing experience, especially when it sparks creative juices (which, in turn, can spark your juices). Find out what porn your partner(s) enjoys. If this conversation seems too daunting, curl up in bed with an explicit yet not-quite-pornographic film. I recommend Y Tu Mamá También or Sex and Lucia (gotta love the Spanish).

And you’re right—it is fun to fantasize about going down on women! Have you ever tried having sex with a woman (outside of your imagination)? You might love it. You might loathe it. I think it’s worth the try (then again, I think everything is worth a try). You’re just starting your sexually active life. It’s prime time for experimentation.

~~~

Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

 

Anal Advisor: Deep in the Deep South

Aug 212012
 

I am an experienced anal player. I have had fun with my ass for over ten years now and still enjoy it like the first time I did it. My former Master and I used to do lots of play with anal dilators and my ass got quite stretchable. Recently I started to venture a bit into deeper anal probing and I really enjoy that as well. I seem to be able to find lots of information on anal stretching, but there is little about exploring the depths of the ass. So my question is what techniques and approaches are there for depth play? Where are the risks, where are the limits, where do I have to take special care? Are there any special health risks when one goes deeper, besides the obvious injury risk?

–Deep in the Deep South

The anal canal and rectum are 10-11″ long, and so you’ve got quite a bit of room to play with long toys. As long as you use plenty of lube, work your way up to bigger and longer toys, and listen to your body, going deep into the rectum is safe. Once you venture beyond the rectum, you get to the sigmoid colon, and the risks of penetration increase greatly. In the sigmoid colon, you have a greater chance of tearing or rupturing a part of the colon. The best information about what you call “depth play” beyond the rectum can be found in writing and videos on anal fisting, which are mostly produced by gay men. I suggest the book Trust: The Handbook, A Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of Handballing by Bert Herrman and the website Red Right.

August 24: Jessica Valenti on Virginity, the Purity Myth, and the Future of Feminism

Aug 192012
 

 

This Friday, August 24th, I’m thrilled to welcome Jessica Valenti, writer and founder of feministing.com to Sex Out Loud. Jessica Valenti will talk to us about her latest book, The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women, which was also turned into a documentary. We’ll discuss abstinence-only education, recent attempts by legislators to control women’s reproductive health care, and long term effects of the current climate on women and sexuality. I will also talk with Jessica, author of Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters, about her experiences as a feminist writer and activist, and where she thinks the next generation of online organizing will lead us. Tune into our show at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT.

Jessica Valenti – called one of the Top 100 Inspiring Women in the world by The Guardian – is the author of three books: Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters, He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut…and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know, and The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women which has been made into a documentary by the Media Education Foundation. She is the editor of the anthology Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, which was named one of Publishers Weekly‘s Top 100 Books of 2009.

Jessica is also the founder of Feministing.com, which Columbia Journalism Review calls “head and shoulders above almost any writing on women’s issues in mainstream media.” Her writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Nation, The Guardian (UK), The American Prospect, Ms. magazine, Salon and Bitch magazine. She has won a Choice USA Generation award and the 2011 Hillman Journalism Prize for her work with Feministing. She has appeared on The Colbert Report and the Today show, among others, and was profiled in The New York Times Magazine under the headline “Fourth Wave Feminism.”

Jessica is also a widely sought-after speaker who gives dozens of speeches at universities and organizations in the U.S. and abroad. She received her Masters degree in Women’s and Gender Studies from Rutgers University.

My Stint As The Savage Love Guest Columnist

Aug 152012
 

Artwork by Joe Newton for The Stranger

While Dan Savage was on vacation, the “Savage Love” Letter of the Day—a.k.a. SLLOTD—had to go on! So Dan asked three different guest columnists to field his readers’ questions while he’s away. I was the guest columnist August 13-17! You can read each of my questions and answers on the SLOG, along with readers’ comments which were diverse and very opinionated here:

August 13: Even Less Kinky Than Plain Vanilla, about incompatibility, kinkiness, and communication
August 14: Fetishes, Porn, Meatballs, and Eggs, about women’s fetishes, a gyno sex fantasy, and gossip
August 15: Hungover and Hurt, about a partner’s boundary violation (trigger warning)
August 16: Maybe I’m More Vanilla Than I Thought, about crossdressing, anal, and sexual compatibility
August 17: Less Face, More Fuck, about a new Dom/sub sex partner who’s avoiding intercourse

August 17: Adult Film Stars Danny Wylde and Lily LaBeau on Making Art Porn, Being in Love, and Their New Venture HotelLaBeau.com

Aug 152012
 

This Friday, Sex Out Loud will be coming to you LIVE from LA! I’m talking to adult film stars Danny Wylde and Lily LaBeau about what it’s like to be performers in a relationship. They’ll reveal the best part of dating another porn star, what they fight about, and the difference between sex on screen and off screen. I will ask them about monogamy, their favorite directors, interacting with fans, and what they think about the recent condom mandate in LA. Plus, we’ll hear about their latest venture together: HotelLaBeau.com.

Lily Labeau is an AVN-nominated actress and model named “Next Star of the Year” by CAVR. She is the creative force behind LilyLuvs.com, InsideLilyLaBeau.com, and soon, HotelLaBeau.com. Danny Wylde is a pornographer, writer, musician, and filmmaker living in Los Angeles, California.

My appearance on Afroerotik, plus new review of the Expert Guide to Pegging

Aug 102012
 

  • I recently appeared on the podcast Afroerotik, along with Dr. Cherie Ann Turpin, to have an in-depth conversation about race and sexuality. We talked about the implications and effects of continued stereotypes and racism in the adult industry and the how it affects perceptions in society. If you missed it, go listen to it now!

Take it slow.  Talk to your partner.  And don’t forget, just because you start off with strap-on play, doesn’t mean you have to end there, also, just because you start with anything else, doesn’t mean you can’t end with strap-on play.

(Thanks Jen!)

Review: Trojan Vibrations Twister

Aug 092012
 

Two thoughts went through my mind when I first saw the Trojan Twister: Helen Hunt fleeing air born cows (a la Twister, the 1996 disaster flick) and the pleasure potential of boomerangs. Once I got over the 90’s starlet and her barnyard, storm-tracking fiascos, I was left with my new toy. In its packaging, the Trojan Twister resembles a chunky boomerang. I made sure not to get too comfortable with this shape, because, as the name implies, this toy twists. And I was eager to get caught in its rotations.

The Twister has a light purple plastic handle and a dark purple silicone shaft. The shaft can be twisted into 4 positions, each one reaching a different erogenous zone. In theory, this is a great idea. One toy, four positions, endless possibilities. Right?

Sort of. The Twister’s initial position—let’s call it the boomerang—was incredible. Its upwardly curved shaft, gentle vibrations, and impressive girth made it perfect for g-spot stimulation. However, when I went to twist it, I got confused. Switching the Twister’s shape required my attention and both hands—two things I didn’t want to give up mid-masturbation. I needed to listen and feel for the slight “click” which signified that it had successfully transitioned into shape number two. This was challenging considering that the toy was vibrating, thus making subtle “clicks” difficult to decipher.

But I eventually got the Twister into shapes two, three, and four. Each provided a unique sensation, none of which was as magnificent as its original g-spot formation (which really was magnificent). This is largely due to the fact that the toy needs to be removed in order to be rotated. My pussy didn’t want to give up the toy! It was quite content with just experiencing the g-spot pleasure. Furthermore, the process of removing and rotating the Twister can be rather juicy. Whatever is on the shaft (bodily fluids and/or lube) inevitably ends up on your hands, making for a messy session. Speaking of messes, make sure to wash the Twister with warm water and natural soap or toy cleaner after every use. Dirty vibrators can have unpleasant side-effects. Trust me.

I give the folks at Trojan credit for addressing the dirty truth of silicone (the material which composes half of the Twister). Silicone attracts small particles such as dirt, lint, and sand. To avoid sandy vibrators, the Trojan Twister comes with a satin pouch for storage. It also comes with AA batteries and, when ordered online, two free vibrating rings.

The first time I used the Twister was okay. Not great, not horrible—a solid B of an experience. However, my perspective changed after I tried using the Twister with my partner. Its generous size and easy-to-hold, curved handle makes it the perfect toy for partner-use. When used with another person, someone else can take care of twisting the shaft and listening for clicks. Plus, its rotations allow you to find the perfect shape for you and your partner(s). In other words, Twister is a game best played with others.

~~~

Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

 

FTM Porn Star James Darling Launches FTMFucker.Com

Aug 082012
 

James Darling has starting a new transsexual porn site called FTMFucker.com under the TROUBLEfilms network – Watch the trailer and read more about it below!

Oakland, CA – FTMFucker.Com launched recently, featuring exclusive content directed by FTM porn star and up and coming director James Darling. Darling won Heartthrob of the Year at 2012’s Feminist Porn Awards in Toronto, and has appeared in dozens of adult releases this year alone.

FTMFUCKER.Com is one of the first porn sites of it’s kind – featuring gay porn, straight porn, and queer porn starring at least one trans man in every scene. FTM Fucker updates with fresh, exclusive new content once a week, including hardcore video shot in HD, and high resolution photo galleries you can download.

“Trans men being seen as erotic beings is relatively new phenomenon and I’m proud to be a part. This is only the beginning!” – James Darling said in his FPA 2012 Heartthrob acceptance speech. He adds, “Trans men have a special chance to define our own language and terms, how we are spoken about and marketed in porn, because it is a blossoming, exciting new niche in the adult industry. This launch marks an exciting new era – there has been a lack of porn featuring trans men for a long time, and now there’s FTM Fucker!”

FTMFucker is hosted by TROUBLEfilms, led by queer porn icon Courtney Trouble. TROUBLEfilms hosts the pay sites QueerPorn.TV, Indie Porn Revolution, the amateur submission-based Queer Porn Tube, a VOD store at CourtneyTrouble.Com/Store, plus distributed films by up and coming porn directors such as Tobi Hill-Meyer (Doing It Ourselves, Genderfellator) and Courtney Trouble (Live Sex Show, Fuckstyles) – with much more to come in the following year. Darling states, “Joining up with TROUBLEfilms was the obvious best fit, as they are known for their longstanding reputation for ethical production practices and a dedicated cult following that’s excited for this kind of porn.”

“Bringing James Darling and FTMFucker.Com into the TROUBLEfilms family solidifys TROUBLEfilms as the go-to spot for ethically made, interesting, high quality indie porn,” says Courtney Trouble. “With IndiePornRevolution.Com being one of the first porn sites to feature trans men ten years ago, branching out into a site that specifically highlights FTM performers is the logical next step.

FTM Porn may be the first genre of its kind to be defined by and for the performers highlighted. Giving trans men the opportunity to film their own sex lives, define their sexualities, and work in the adult industry on their own terms sets a standard for other genres to follow suit. James Darling is an incredible porn director and will take this industry by storm – TROUBLEfilms is just lucky to be on board!”

James Darling is a FTM porn performer and sex educator based in the Bay Area. He won Sex Performer of the Year by Transguys.com in 2010 and Feminist Porn Awards Heartthrob of the Year 2012 for his work across multiple porn genres.

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