Oct 152012
 

This Friday on Sex Out Loud I talk to renowned sex therapist and author Dr. Marty Klein about his latest book, Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex and How To Get It. He’ll share some of the book’s provocative prescriptions for a better sex life, and talk about why he writes that sex technique workshops aren’t helpful. Through his extensive therapy practice, Dr. Klein will reveal what his clients have taught him about sex. Then he’ll answer listener questions submitted especially for this episode on topics including low sex drive, erotic incompatibility, rape fantasies, and erectile dysfunction. Listen to see if he answers yours!

Dr. Marty Klein has been a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist for 31 years. He has aimed his entire career toward a single set of goals: telling the truth about sexuality, helping people feel sexually adequate & powerful, and supporting the healthy sexual expression and exploration of women and men.

Marty pursues his goal of a sexually enlightened world through therapy, lectures, writing, lobbying, media, and forensic (courtroom) work.

Marty has authored over 100 articles in publications such as Parents, New Woman, and Playboy, as well as San Francisco Medicine, the California Therapist, and the Journal of Homosexuality. He is a former contributing editor to The New Physician, American Baby, and Modern Bride, and he is quoted every year in dozens of national publications and websites, such as The New Yorker and Huffington Post.

Marty has written six books:

Your Sexual Secrets: When to Keep Them, When & How to Tell
Ask Me Anything: Dr. Klein Answers the Sex Questions You’d Love To Ask
Beyond Orgasm: Dare to be Honest About the Sex You Really Want
Let Me Count the Ways: Great Sex Beyond Intercourse
America’s War On Sex: The Attack on Law, Lust, & Liberty
Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex, And How to Get It

His books have been acclaimed by everyone from USA Today and The California Therapist to Penn & Teller and the Playboy Advisor. Published in eleven languages, his books have been excerpted in national magazines, and cited in the popular and professional press. Marty also has chapters in several professional books, such as The Handbook of Clinical Child Psychology and Treating Sexual Disorders.

A popular guest on the electronic media, Marty has been featured on radio in over 100 cities, and on national TV programs like 20/20 and Nightline. His blog is widely quoted, and his electronic newsletter, Sexual Intelligence, goes to 5,000 subscribers every month.

Marty is that rare professional: truly expert in his subject, comfortable on live TV and in front of audiences, and extremely funny. His wit and expertise make him a frequently-quoted expert appearing in Newsweek, the New York Times, and even Ann Landers.

A tireless speaker, Marty has given over 700 keynote speeches, training programs, and popular lectures to groups including the American College of Surgeons, First Amendment Lawyers’ Association, Lutheran Family & Children’s Services, Miami Women’s Hospital, National Association of Social Workers, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists, American Library Association, Stanford University Medical School, and over 50 colleges across the country.

Marty’s accomplishments are also recognized abroad: he has trained professionals in two dozen countries, including China, Turkey, India, Israel, Morocco, Croatia, and Russia. He has been given honorary membership in a variety of international professional associations.

Marty fights for the sexual rights of all Americans through his legal and courtroom work. He has been an expert witness, consultant, or invited plaintiff in many state and federal censorship, internet, and obscenity cases.

Known and respected by his colleagues, Marty has been elected a national board member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. Marty has also been honored by the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists. His book America’s War On Sex was honored as Book of the Year by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, & Therapists.

As a clinician, Marty works each week with couples and individuals who have a variety of sexual and non-sexual difficulties–over 30,000 sessions since 1980. He also provides consultations to other therapists, and supervises their cases. Marty lives in Northern California with his wife, cactus garden, and enormous collection of rock ‘n’ roll albums.

You can read Marty’s books in the following editions:

  • Chinese
  • Croatian
  • French
  • German
  • Indonesian
  • Italian
  • Polish
  • Portugese
  • Russian
  • Spanish

You can read Marty’s articles in these publications:

  • American Baby
  • American Journal of Sexuality Education
  • The California Therapist
  • Contemporary Sexuality
  • Forum
  • Healthline
  • Journal of Homosexuality
  • Journal of Sex Research
  • Mademoiselle
  • McCalls
  • Men’s Fitness
  • Men’s Guide to Fashion
  • Men’s Health
  • Men’s Journal
  • Modern Bride
  • Muscle Media
  • New Age Journal
  • The New Physician
  • New Woman
  • Parents
  • Playboy
  • San Francisco Medicine
  • The SIECUS Report
  • West
  • Weight Watchers
Oct 112012
 

E! Entertainment is producing a one-hour special about the real stories behind the “50 Shades of Grey” phenomenon.  They are profiling people who live the BDSM lifestyle, from engineers to housewives and shedding light on what has been largely an underground culture.  Among others, they are looking for stories about:  A) Someone who is going to “come out” to family or friend or workplace and willing to let us shoot that moment.  B)  Someone who has decided to enter the BDSM relationship (not just dabble) for the FIRST TIME.  C)  A story about a break up (not horror story) – we’ve been told that a breakup from a BDSM relationship is more emotionally intense in some ways because of the deep level of intimacy.  D)  A story about a male submissive.

They are looking for people who can speak very articulately and thoughtfully about their lifestyle and experiences.  They may be able to offer anonymity for anyone (except the “coming out” story).  If you or anyone you know may be interested, please contact Producer, Kyung Yu via email at KSunYu@comcastnets.com. [EDIT: e-mail address had a typo, it’s now been corrected.]

 

Oct 102012
 

I know the ass is sensitive, but how many nerve endings are there in the ass? Is it the same in guys and girls? And are the “good feeling nerves” located in the sphincter or the rectum?

–Curious About Anatomy

The anus (the anal opening), the anal canal (the first few inches inside), and the rectum are all sensitive in different ways, which is why anal stimulation and penetration can be so pleasurable. The external and internal sphincter muscles surround the anal opening. These muscles can work together or independently of each other, and these are the muscles we must learn to relax in order to achieve comfortable anal penetration. When we talk about the sphincter and pelvic muscles and how they play a role in anal pleasure, we discuss them less in terms of sensitivity and more in terms of how tone and “in shape” they are and how tense or relaxed they are. The anus and the outer part of the anal canal are made of the same sensitive soft tissue and this tissue contains the most concentration of nerve endings of all our anal anatomy. In general, this tissue tends to be more sensitive to touch and vibration. The inner part of the anal canal and the rectum are mucous membrane and have a lot less nerve endings; however this tissue is much more sensitive to pressure (like from penetration).

Men and women have nearly identical anorectal anatomy except for one important difference: men have a prostate gland, which can be stimulated directly via anal penetration. The prostate gland surrounds part of a man’s urethra; it’s behind the pubic bone, below the bladder and above the base of the penis. A mass of muscle, glands, and connective tissue, the prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut; it produces ejaculatory fluid that combines with sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles to create male ejaculate. Men can experience direct prostate stimulation when they are anally penetrated. It can be found by sliding a finger (or toy) about one to two inches inside a man’s ass and aiming toward the front of his body.

While women don’t have a prostate, but we do have a G-spot and can experience indirect G-spot stimulation through anal penetration. The G-spot is the urethral sponge which sits around the urethra; to find it, slip a finger inside her vagina an inch to an inch and a half and toward the front of her body. The G-spot can be stimulated through the front wall of the vagina or indirectly though anal sex.

Oct 082012
 


This Friday, October 12th, on Sex Out Loud I talk to model and performer April Flores and photographer and filmmaker Carlos Batts as part of my “Live in LA” series recorded in studio in Los Angeles. This dynamic duo in art and life reveals how they first met and what fuels their erotic collaborations. Carlos talks about his body of work, why he loves to make art, and the exhibit inspired by the sex toy molded from April’s vagina. April will discuss her role as a plus-size model in the adult industry, what she thinks of the term BBW, and her Feminist Porn Award for Heartthrob of the Year. They will also give us a insider’s look at their newest film, April Flores World.

April Flores is a muse, erotic performer, and model, but that’s not even scratching the surface. A fearless BBW star with scarlet hair, proponent of the queer community, feminist, sex-positive activist, outspoken advocate of body diversity, glamorous art model, avid kink fan, sub and dom both, and all around powerful woman. April has graced the covers of Bizarre and AVN Magazines, among others; modeled for dozens of fine art photographers; Featured Guest & Co Host Espanol on Playboy Sirius/XM Radio; appeared in countless adult films in every genre of the porn industry (from mainstream to queer to kinky to artsy); and spoken out about body image through her mere presence and powerful sexuality, along with her activism.

 Carlos Batts is an award winning; Artist, Photographer and Director. Batts’ artwork has appeared on book covers, fashion magazines, comic books and motion pictures. Carlos has three internationally distributed hardbound coffee table books; Wild Skin, Crazy Sexy Hollywood and American Gothic that document a wide variety of sub-cultures. Batts has directed independent art films; American Gothic, Voluptuous Biker Babes, and April Flores World that are distributed through various mainstream outlets. Born in Baltimore, Batts now lives and creates in Hollywood with his Muse, April Flores.

Oct 072012
 

 

[Attention folks near NYC! This Friday, October 12th, 2012, there will be a book release party for Roving Pack at Bluestockings. Details after the review. ]

Roving Pack, the debut novel of writer Sassafras Lowrey, follows a year in the life of Click, a trans kid in Portland navigating the meaning of family, love, longing, and belonging within circles of queer homeless and transient youth. The novel gives voice to a sea of characters that ring so true and familiar to those heard in our queer lives , but are so rarely depicted on LGBT pages. Click’s story begins with a heartbreak and keeps them coming; we follow along in the search to find a stable home for Click’s pack made up of daddies, boys, dogs, cats, and rats (with an occasional femme*) that come and go from Click’s life with the blazing hot intensity that often accompanies our exploration of new adult desires. Click’s sexual desires are honestly depicted by Lowrey in way that is deeply validating – this book fiercely shows the hotness, the complications, and the everyday details of leather and BDSM, as well as transitioning and genderqueer living – but the similarly complicated desires of home and loyalty are the main focus of Click’s story. Every moment is an opportunity for a character to disappoint or surprise both us and Click.

Roving Pack is told in the first-person by Click, with a blend of public online journals, inner friend filters, and the private diary. For those of us who came through the early-adopter Livejournal years, this book is like being included on EVERY filter, and seeing as much in the public face Click presented for the sake of loyalty as you do the private pains of difficult love. This intimate voice pulls you immediately inside the vividly depicted communities of trans and queer youth in Portland and the book soon becomes a compulsive read that quietly devastates you all the way to the end. Immediately upon turning the final page, I missed Click. I still want to hit refresh on my browser to see if another post will appear. And while steeped in contemporary culture and online narrative styles, the novel also reminded me of the smart and ragged intensity of Sarah Schulman’s early novels about dykes and fags in 90s NYC. There’s a universality to Click’s desire to belong, as well as the wish for home and looking for it within the faces of our queer loved ones who are supposed to understand us more than any one else in the world. There is also a shared devastation in those moments when our new queer families let us down. Roving Pack is an emotionally difficult read at times, but I couldn’t turn away from Click, nor from Lowrey’s elegantly rough and direct storytelling. Ze’s writing pairs the passion and authenticity of Click’s voice with sharp observations and strong narrative momentum.

*This book is for every member of the pack, though femmes be warned, Click and various other characters are very butch- and fag-centric, so there are occasionally some opinionated moments of ignorance. While they made me wince, they also felt true to the characters and the community.

~~~~~

Please join us at the official NYC release event for “Roving Pack” to celebrate the publication of this highly anticipated debut novel by Sassafras Lowrey (editor of Kicked Out)

OCTOBER 12, 2012
Bluestockings Bookstore – 172 Allen St. NYC
7pm

 

~~~~~

A. Raymond Johnson is a writer, shiatsuist, DJ, and karaoke aficionado. He received his MFA in Fiction from Antioch University in Los Angeles and has been awarded writing residencies at Ragdale and Millay Colony for his novels-in-progress. He has blogged since 2000, including at Out Magazine’s Popnography and I Fry Mine In Butter. His short story “Tammy Faye” is part of the upcoming book, The Collection (Topside Press, 2012).

 

Oct 052012
 

  • I also did a two-part interview with Cunning Minx for her fabulous podcast, Poly Weekly. The first half of the interview is HERE and then part two is HERE.
Oct 032012
 

I like watching straight/couples hardcore porn my wife not so much. I am looking for straight/couples hardcore porn that is friendlier toward women. Does such a thing exist? My wife might be more willing to watch it and enjoy it with me if I could find some female friendly hardcore porn DVD’s. Any ideas where I can find this type of porn?

There’s a common misconception that all pornography featuring female submission or hardcore sex is inherently unfriendly to women. I mean, how dare a lady enjoy playing with power, sex, and danger? How dare she relish in the sensation of a slap or choke? And, most importantly, how dare she be filmed and paid to experience pleasure?

If you couldn’t tell, I’m being sarcastic.

This type of porn is right in front of you! Tristan’s Rough Sex series is hot, hardcore, and incredibly female-friendly. Need proof? The entire series is premised on the fact that the female performers design their own rough sex scenes. They choose everything (and everyone) they do. Not enough feminist proof? Prior to each sex scene, the female performer explains her desires and fantasy’s in a brief interview. Many of the starlets want rough, taboo-breaking, bed board shaking sex. And they get what they want! But they’re not the only one’s. Porn viewers (such as your wife) get to relax knowing that the hot, hardcore porn their enjoying was filmed on an ethical, female-focused set.

Personally, I really enjoy hardcore scenes featuring James Deen, Danny Wylde, and/or Bobbi Starr. A 3-way between these performers is my ultimate wet dream (or a 4-way….including me). All of these stars are dedicated to creating safe spaces for rough sex. Plus, they all look amazing while fucking.

~~~

Abby Spector is a recent graduate of Wesleyan University, where she majored in Feminist/Gender/Sexuality Studies. She is currently interning for Tristan, a job that allows her to write about sex, research feminist porn, and play with dogs (among other, equally awesome things). When she isn’t working, Abby enjoys comfortable nudity and salty foods. Her dream? A world where she could sit around naked and eat overly-salted french fries. Her blog is Sexy Awkward Times.

Oct 022012
 

This week’s episode of Sex Out Loud was recorded live at the Cine y Sexo: La Mirada Femenina film festival in Mexico City. I host an unprecedented conversation between feminist pornographers from around the world, including Jennifer Lyon Bell (Amsterdam), Marit Ostberg (Germany), Ingrid Ryberg (Sweden), Liandra Dahl (Australia), and film festival programmer Abraham Castillo, with a special appearance by Candida Royalle (U.S.). The group talks about this groundbreaking event, which was the first of its kind in Latin America, and audience reactions to their films. They discuss the
importance of sexual representation, their filmmaking philosophies, and the politics of porn.

Jennifer Lyon Bell is a Harvard-educated erotic film director and curator living in Amsterdam. For her independent production company Blue Artichoke Films, she writes and directs explicit erotic films combining authentic sex and arthouse values. They have screened all over the world at international festivals and cinemas in America, Europe, and Japan, and have won awards at both erotic film festivals and regular film festivals. Her arty erotic documentary “Headshot” screened at the Cannes Short Film Corner and London ICA (Institute of Contemporary Arts) where it was shown as part of the Destricted Shorts film series judged by artist/filmmaker Larry Clark. Her explicitly erotic fiction film “Matinée” has won three Best Film awards including one from the Melbourne Underground Film Festival which it won by jury prize even though the film was technically banned from the festival by the Australian Classification Board for its sexual content. Finally, her most recent film collaboration, the music-driven documentary “Skin. Like. Sun.” (Des Jours Plus Belles Que La Nuit) won the prize for Best Direction at Toronto’s renowned Feminist Porn Awards. She is finishing two new films, an intensely fiction trilogy called “Silver Shoes” and a real-life explicitly erotic BDSM documentary following the true story of a young Dutch feminist coming out as a submissive. In addition to being a film director, she curates erotic-themed film programs and exhibitions for museums, arts institutions, and festivals including The Museum of Sex in New York, Ladyfest, Pinched: Sex Love and Countercultures, and the San Francisco Indie Erotic Film Festival, and she was a co-organizer of the Amsterdam Alternative Erotica Film Festival. She also gives lectures and leads workshops on erotica, porn, feminism, and film theory at institutions from the Dutch Film Academy to the Berlin Porn Film Festival. www.blueartichokefilms.com

Marit Östberg is from Stockholm, Sweden, currently living in Berlin. Since making her debut as a porn-film director in the acclaimed porn compilation Dirty Diaries, Marit Östberg has continued to produce porn. She has become a part of the queer feminist porn scene that has evolved in Europe in recent years, directing and acting in work that pushes ideas of who and what porn might be for. Her films have been shown and discussed at various festivals around the world. Östberg has a background as queer feminist activist and journalist, and she´s been an important voice discussing and writing about sexual politics in swedish media the last decade. She sees porn as a creative way of working with sexual politics, wanting to expand the possibilities of being in the world. She says: “When queers and women take their sexuality into their own hands patriarchy is lost.” WORKS: Authority (2009) 16 min is a part of Dirty Diaries. A woman is caught by a police officer in the act of painting graffiti on a wall. She runs from the scene, with the police in hot pursuit. Perhaps the police officer knows her own fate when she sets off on the chase. Perhaps she obeys to the will of the graffiti artist. Clearly, somebody needs to be punished. In Authority sex is a dirty game, a beautiful fairy tale, it’s a threat, a promise. Share (2010) 16 min PAL 4:3. She´s longing for her lover. Pictures come to her mind. She sees her lover and her lovers lover, she wants to be where they are. She walks out of her dream, she walks out of her appartement. She knows where they are, she has the key. Share is a short porn about polyamorous love, jealousy and sharing sex with a multiple people at once. A film about sharing. Sisterhood (2011), NTSC, 47 min a documentary about making queer feminist porn. Östberg talks to the key participants in the film Share and they discuss their motivations for and experiences of making queer feminist porn. The women, who have come to Berlin from all over the western world, are inspiring in their commitment to making work that has a political agenda and through their articulate interviews present a reflexive and motivated feminist community in action.

Ingrid Ryberg is a teacher and postdoctoral fellow at the Department of Media Studies, Stockholm University. She completed her doctoral thesis, Imagining Safe Space: The Politics of Queer, Feminist and Lesbian Pornography in 2012. The thesis builds on ethnographic fieldwork, including Ingrid Ryberg’s own participation as one of the filmmakers in the feminist porn collection Dirty Diaries: Twelve Shorts of Feminist Porn (Mia Engberg et al. 2009). Her film in the collection is titled “Phone Fuck” and is about phone sex between two women. Her current research project studies the feminist film movement in the Nordic countries in the 1970s and 1980s. She is also the director of the dragking documentary Dragkingdom of Sweden, 2002.

Liandra Dahl: I am British born and raised but I have lived in Melbourne, Australia since 2002, apart from a brief 15-month visit to Amsterdam, Netherlands from 2010 until 2011. Whilst in Amsterdam I started my own independent adult website LiandraDahl.com and got married to my lovely wife. Both of which actions were prevented by anti-gay and anti-porn legislation back in Australia. I consider myself queer and I am attracted to masculine, feminine and androgynous people. I first made amateur porn in 2004 for Melbourne based Australian sites of Feck Pty Ltd as the hostess for ifeelmyself.com and I also appeared on ishotmyself.com, beautifulagony.com to support myself through a Bachelor of Arts degree. I majored in history/politics and also Classical Societies, specifically Ancient Greece and Rome. I also learnt both Ancient Greek and Latin languages whilst at university. I am interested in everything and learning new things is a mentally, physically and sexually arousing experience for me. At the end of my degree I decided I wanted to continue making porn but wished to do it as a producer and a performer. I became slightly notorious in Melbourne, Australia in 2007 and 2009 for criticizing AbbyWinters.com, a website I contributed to as an adult performer. I had written a blog outing ‘Abby Winters’ as a male owned and operated adult website pretending to be owned and operated by the fictitious female ‘Abby Winters’. I also criticized them for knowingly giving false information during recruitment interviews of amateur models. Unfortunately the mainstream conservative Australian press picked up my blog critique after being contacted by a number of disgruntled ex-AbbyWinters staff members who felt unhappy about company practices and policies but wished to remain anonymous. My comments and images were used to pad out the article. The Herald Sun, the paper that pursued the campaign against AbbyWinters.com for two years, also alerted authorities that porn was being produced in Melbourne. Up until this time I was unaware that the production of adult content was illegal in Australia, having never been informed that was the case by any of the Australian producers I had worked for. I am ardently anti-censorship and I oppose all laws that prohibit adult consensual sexuality, whether private or commercial. However, I feel that staff and performers should have been made aware of the legal status that the management and producers of AbbyWinters.com and the Feck sites were privy to at the time of recruitment. I firmly believe that with regard to working in the adult industry there must be an onus on producers to take on a duty of care toward employees and contributors that ensures all those working for them have made a fully informed choice before doing so. The rift between AbbyWinters.com and myself has since been reconciled though unfortunately the scrutiny of the press at that time forced them to move their company overseas to Amsterdam. I hope they return to Australia in the future and assist in a campaign for reform of the current legislation. As a committed voyeur I love to watch and as a confirmed exhibitionist I also love to show. As you can imagine producer/performer seemed the obvious option. On 25th December 2010 I started my own adult website LiandraDahl.com. I wanted to present my own desires in a more pluralist view of adult sexuality than I had experience with any of the Australian sites prior to this. LiandraDahl.com is a website of adult consensual sexuality that is inclusive of all gender identities and sexualities. I strive for a great deal of creative input for each shoot from the contributor that reflects their personality, what they enjoy doing sexually, their desires and their fantasies. Whilst in Europe in 2011 I shot for Erika Lust in her award winning adult movie Cabaret Desire. This was my first experience of performing in scripted adult feature movie. I enjoyed the experience of being made up and dressed immensely. Acting is very enjoyable like the escapism of bedroom roleplay sex. I was particularly pleased that I was able to select whom I would perform with myself, in fact my wife chose him for me, but she made a fabulous choice. I have also shot for Jennifer Lyon Bell in her soon to be released trilogy ‘The Silver Shoes’ an exploration of attire and desire. Jennifer is a gifted director and I hope to work with her again in the future.

Abraham Castillo graduated as a filmmaker from SVA where he received the Dusty Award and the Directors Guild of America award for Best Latin Student Filmmaker in 1998. Director, Editor and programmer he is now lives in Mexico City and dedicates his time to editing films, teaching and as Programer of MORBIDO International Film Festival of Horror, Fantasy & Science Fiction Films. In 2012 he collaborated with Marianna Palerm, founder and director of LA MIRADA FEMENINA, Mexico’s first film festival dedicated to the promotion, study and discussion of porn films directed by women. He is convinced that working and watching films on extreme sides of the spectrum (Eros & Thanatos) keeps him sane and healthy.

Candida Royalle: Author, Pioneer, Entrepreneur. Ms. Royalle first came in to the public eye for her internationally acclaimed line of erotic films from a woman’s perspective. Innovating the concept of “couples erotica”, she created Femme Productions, Inc®. in 1984 in order to produce adult films that spoke from a woman’s voice and could be entertaining while promoting positive sexual role modeling for couples to view together. Royalle’s work has been favorably received by both viewers and the media, as well as the sexology community. She has become a sought-after speaker, having lectured at such venues as the Smithsonian Institute, the American Psychiatric Association’s national conference, and the World Congress on Sexology, as well as several sexuality conferences and universities including Princeton, Columbia, Wellesley College and New York University. She is the first erotic filmmaker to have been invited to become a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists due to the message of “positive sexuality” in her films. Continuing to lead the way in women’s sexual empowerment and pleasure, Royalle partnered with Dutch industrial designer Jandirk Groet, whose product design repertoire ranges from Nordica ski boots to Ricoh compact cameras and Panasonic TVs to the cockpit of the Fokker aircraft, and together they created the Natural Contours® line of high-style, discreet ergonomically designed personal massagers. The line debuted in 1999 to favorable reviews in ID (Industrial Design) Magazine, Mademoiselle and Glamour, to name a few, and quickly became best-sellers in women’s mainstream health catalogs. Drugstore.com launched its sexual wellness range with the Natural Contours® line and Holland’s leading drug store chain, ETOS, features the line as part of its family planning outreach. In October ’04 Royalle authored her first book, “How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do”, published in the US by Simon & Schuster/Fireside, and in the UK by Piatkus Press. The paperback was published in February ’06. Royalle recently created a new line of “ethnic erotica for couples” called Femme Chocolat® in order to provide high quality intelligent erotica for the largely underserved market of ethnic women and couples. She is now moving on to the role of mentoring young new female directors so that they may continue the Femme line while expressing their own visions and ideas. What makes Ms. Royalle’s story particularly interesting is her rich and varied background. The daughter of an accomplished professional jazz drummer, she trained and performed in music, dance and art, having attended New York’s High School of Art and Design, Parsons School of Design, and the City University of New York, where she was active in the women’s movement of the late ’60’s and early ’70’s. In San Francisco she got involved with some of the original members of the infamous Cockettes including the late Divine to create avant garde jazz and theater productions. In ’74, looking to finance her unconventional lifestyle, she entered the world of erotica as an actress, performing in about twenty-five adult feature films. She returned to her native New York City in 1980 and stepped behind the camera to create Femme Productions® in 1984. Since then she has been a guest on numerous news and talk shows from Anderson Cooper to Dateline NBC, and has been written up in countless magazines and newspapers from The New York Times, Time Magazine and The London Times to Glamour and Marie Claire. Candida Royalle is a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, (AASECT) and a founding Board member of Feminists for Free Expression (FFE). For more about Candida Royalle and her products visit her web site at:
www.candidaroyalle.com

Oct 022012
 

I have been told a million times by my mother (who’s a nurse) that no amount of wiping will clean the penis enough to make it safe to go straight from the ass to the pussy. She says a shower is all that’ll do. I have never had anal sex for this reason, but for years, I have been dying to get fucked in the ass. But even more than that, I want to have a bacteria and infection-free pussy. A shower, no matter how warm, seems like it would be a mood destroyer. Is what my mother says true? Is a handy wipe enough? I really want my ass fucked!

–Horny Virgin Ass

Your mother has the right idea: you should never, ever put a dick — or anything else — that’s been in your ass directly into your pussy. Bacteria that lives in your rectum will be transferred to your pussy and very likely give you an infection. You can swipe the cock with a baby wipe, but, technically, no wipe is going to kill bacteria, so some could still be hanging around. (By the way, you should always use baby wipes, which are designed for the delicate genitals. You should never use anti-bacterial wipes that are meant to clean your hands or household surfaces.) A shower with some anti-bacterial soap is the best way to assure yourself that the dick is bacteria-free. And actually, I think a shower can be sensual and fun if you do it together. Your other option is to use condoms, and simply change the condom when you change the orifice.

What puzzles me about your letter is that you have been avoiding anal penetration because of the ass-to-pussy restriction. Who says that anal sex must always include that particular kind of action? It’s safe to go from pussy to ass, or to have anal intercourse all on its own.

Sep 282012
 


Call for Entries – CineKink/2013 – our tenth edition!

CineKink –“the kinky film festival”–is seeking films and videos, of any length and genre, that explore and celebrate a wide diversity of sexuality. Dedicated to the recognition and encouragement of sex-positive and kink-friendly depictions in film and television, we’re looking to blur some boundaries and will be considering offerings drawn from both Hollywood and beyond, with works ranging from documentary to drama, camp comedy to artsy experimental, mildly spicy to quite explicit–and everything in between.

Cutting across orientations, topics covered at CineKink have included–but are by no means limited to–BDSM, leather and fetish, swinging, non-monogamy and polyamory, roleplay and gender bending, sex work and sex geekery. Basically, as long as it involves consenting adults, just about anything celebrating sex as a right of self expression is fair game. (Far be it from us to define “kink” – if you think your work might make sense in this context, please send it along!)

Scheduled for its tenth annual appearance in February 2013, the specially-curated CineKink NYC will also feature a short film competition, audience choice awards, a special adult entertainment showcase, presentations, parties and a gala kick-off event, along with retrospective screenings commemorating a decade’s worth of kinky programming. A national tour will follow, showcasing audience favorites from the NYC festival selections.

Discounted, early-bird entries have a post-marked deadline of September 28th, while the regular deadline is November 9th and the final deadline is December 4th.  

For more information, please visit http://cinekink.com/programs-and-events/call-for-entries.