Tristan Taormino

New York

Fleshbot reviews Expert Guide to Female Ejaculation

Jan 012013

Fleshbot posted a great review of my latest DVD, The Expert Guide to Female Ejaculation.

You may be aware that many squirt porn movies just fake the whole thing; rest assured that Tristan Taormino engages in none of those shenanigans. The female cast of this film is made up of bona fide squirters–and it’s fascinating to see the many different ways that they squirt (and the different things that make them squirt).

You can read the whole thing here: http://straight.fleshbot.com/5942175/so-you-want-to-squirt-tristan-taorminos-expert-guide-to-female-ejaculation

And if you didn’t get exactly what you wanted for the holidays, check out About.com and Corey Silverberg’s list of Sex Book Gifts and use a giftcard to buy exactly what you need for yourself! He included my collection, Take Me There, on the list, which I appreciate.

Dec 28: David Jay on Asexuality

Dec 262012

David Jay, SF and Mary Kame

On December 28th’s episode of Sex Out Loud, I’ll be talking to David Jay, the founder of Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), the world’s largest online asexual community as well as a large archive of resources on asexuality. We’ll discuss what asexuality is, the growing movement of people who identify as asexual, and how asexuality fits into the queer organizing movement. Jay will talk about his interest in the way that relationships and communities form, as well as his role in the recent documentary, (A)sexual.

David Jay is the founder of asexuality.org, the world’s largest organization of people who identify as asexual. He has helped grow the asexual community from a dispersed group of individuals to an international movement with over 70,000 members. His work has been highlighted in the New York Times and on 20/20, and has been the subject of a feature-length documentary, (A)sexual. He regularly speaks on asexuality and works to promote open, honest dialog about the asexual community.

Submit Your Proposal On Sexuality and Media to SwellCon

Dec 202012

Smitten Kitten 264x166

Media has an enormous impact on how we view and engage in conversations about sex and sexuality. Broadly defined erotic media can be a tool for social change but can also reinforce stereotypes and promote a sex negative cultural backlash. Whether it is a porn film, a book of erotica, mainstream news coverage of sexual issues, social media bringing together sexual communities, or a sexy picture from a photo archive illustrating a news story, it is clear that the intersection of sexuality and the media is rapidly changing both discourses on sexuality and the media landscape itself. SWELL is a conference devoted to critical conversations about these forms of media, conversations that need to be dynamic, challenging, and creative. This meeting is meant to be a space for discussion, synthesis, and collaboration, a praxis on erotic media which in which we share both broader theoretical frameworks and practical skills. We invite presenters who engage with erotic media in any way: in their business, in their activism, as a side project to other callings and disciplines, or as their central passion and life’s work.

SwellCon is a project hosted by The Smitten Kitten, a progressive sex toys and supplies provider and community resource located in Minneapolis, MN, USA. We are organizing this conference in honor of our 10th anniversary. It is very important to us that under-represented voices and communities be able to present and attend SwellCon. To that end, we will be offering honorariums on a sliding scale to cover travel and lodging costs as well as to pay you for your unique contribution to the success of SwellCon! We especially encourage people of color, differently-abled people, sex workers, LGBTQUIA folks, people of faith, and non-academics to send proposals and attend!

Deadline for Submissions: February 28th, 2013. Details are below or the link to the submission guidelines is here: http://swellcon.com/category/submit-a-proposal/

Submission Guidelines:

You may propose either an individual presentation or a pre-constituted panel. Please note that because of limited time and space, we will be unable to accommodate all proposals, and we reserve the right to reconstitute some panels for reasons of time, space, and non-duplication of topics.

Please send us a proposal with the following information:

Session Title:
Presenter(s):
Equipment Needs and Special Considerations (AV, room layout, etc.):
What topic(s) of interest does your session address?
In a paragraph, describe your session topic:
What is the main thesis of your presentation? What do you hope to achieve during the session? What is the take away?
How would you describe the format of your proposed session? (roundtable discussion, lecture, small group work, skill share, etc.)
What learning styles will your session utilize (visual, oral, tactile, etc.)?
Please note that we are unable to accommodate live, explicit demonstrations in the conference area. Please contact me directly if you would like to discuss alternatives spaces.

Topics
We are interested in a wide range of topics for SWELL. These include, but are not limited to:

Media Skill Share
examples of topics that may be covered:
DIY Erotic Media, DSLR Photography and Videography, Editing in Free Software, Photoshop, and Final Cut Pro, Writing, Blogging and Web design, Podcasting and Internet Radio

Finding the Erotic Muse in Your Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Writing Erotica, Humor and Comedy in Sexual Media, Innovation and Idiosyncrasy in Erotic Video, Performance and Sex Education, Crafting a Public Persona

Erotic Media and Social, Cultural, and Economic Change
examples of topics that may be covered:
Historical Perspectives on Erotic Media, Technological Change and Perceptions of Sexuality, Second Wave Feminism and New Media, Future Perspectives on Erotic Media

Censorship and The Politics of Erotic Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Sex Work and Media, Education and Erotic Media, Censorship and Online Payment Technologies, Age-Appropriate Educational Media, Media and Sex-Positive Parenting

The Business of Erotic Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Erotic Media and The Law, Making Money While Making Erotic Media, Using Media as a Tool of Your Business, Accounting for Your Media

Consent Culture and Media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Privacy and Social Networks, Fetlife, Privacy and Photo/File Sharing, Is Anyone Up?, Instagram, Facebook Posting Guidelines, Online Sexual Bullying and Harassment

Self-Distribution of Media Content
examples of topics that may be covered:
Sex Education and New Media, Podcasting, You Tube, eBooks, Digital Piracy, and the Artisanal Media Maker

Diversity and visibility in sexual media
examples of topics that may be covered:
Interlocking Oppressions and Erotic Media, Sex, Identity, and Bodily Autonomy in the Erotic Media age, ability, race, gender identity, Representing Kink and Non-Monogamy

Sexual media and the mainstream
examples of topics that may be covered:
Daytime Talk TV, Portrayal of Porn and Sex Work in Hollywood and Indiewood, News Coverage of Marriage Equality, Sex Worker Rights, California’s Prop B and Prop 35, Sexual Panics and Right-Wing Media Backlash, Pop Culture and Erotic Media

Please email question and submissions to Clare Jacky at clare@smittenkittenonline.com

tristan1114 copy

Dec 21: Anne G. Sabo on How Women Are Leading the Way To Change Pornography

Dec 182012

anne sabo

This Friday, I spend an hour live with Anne G. Sabo – speaker, writer, academic, public educator, and author of the new book, After Pornified: How Women Are Transforming Pornography & Why It Really Matters. She will discuss the growing number of women radically changing porn to respectfully capture the authentic sexual lives of women and men and how feminist porn has become a vehicle for people to explore and define sexuality on their terms. We’ll also be taking calls during the hour and want listeners to share their views on how women have changed porn.

Anne G. Sabo is a former academic turned public educator, author, speaker, freelance writer, and mama- and sex blogger. Her new book After Pornified: How Women Are Transforming Pornography & Why It Really Matters has been called “a goldmine for all sex-positive women and men,” and a “candid, well-informed personal story of how a good girl became involved in porn.” As a college professor, she taught courses in literature, film and women’s studies. She has researched feminist pornography for more than a decade and has become an acknowledged expert in the field. She has written numerous articles and essays on the subject, and is a frequently consulted speaker on the topic. She grew up in Norway, earned her Ph.D. from University of Washington, and has been living in Northfield, Minnesota with her spouse and their now preschooler daughter.

Dec 14: David J. Ley on Healthy Sexuality and the the Myth of Sex Addiction

Dec 112012

This Friday, December 14th on Sex Out Loud, I’ll be talking live with David Ley, a psychologist whose specialty is treating sexuality issues, about healthy sexuality and sex addiction. His latest book, The Myth of Sex Addiction, triggered a firestorm of debate amongst the media and behavioral health communities. It confronts the junk science and morality-based arguments that lie behind the concept of sex addiction and exposes the strong skepticism of sex addiction that is dominant in the scientific field. Ley will discuss how society and the media has blindly accepted this term, why its dangerous, and what can be done to challenge the concept.

David J. Ley, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist who earned his Master’s and doctoral degrees from the University of New Mexico. He has been licensed as a psychologist since 2002, and practices primarily in New Mexico. Since 2002, Dr. Ley has provided clinical, administrative and consultative services, with expertise in adolescent issues, sexual offending, sexuality, as well as suicide assessment, intervention and prevention. He is currently the Executive Director of New Mexico Solutions, a large outpatient behavioral health program in Albuquerque, providing integrated addictions and mental health treatment to 1800 clients a year. Dr. Ley first began working with issues of sexuality as he treated adolescent and males with history of sexual offending and other problem sexual behaviors. Over time, he expanded his focus to include the promotion of healthy sexuality. Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and The Men Who Love Them is his first book and won a Silver Medal in the Foreword Magazine Book of the Year contest for 2009. His controversial second book, The Myth of Sex Addiction was released in March 2012, challenging the concept of sexual addiction and exploring a different model of male sexuality. The Myth of Sex Addiction has triggered a firestorm of debate, allowing people to finally challenge the media hype of this pseudo-disorder. Dr. Ley is a popular speaker and writer, with published articles in newspapers such as the New York Post and the London Telegraph. He has appeared on numerous television talk shows, as well as radio shows around the world. Magazines and news sources from the Huffington Post to Playboy Magazine have covered his work.

Anal Advisor: Feeling Like a Heel

Dec 062012

My younger, much more experienced partner and I were discussing fantasies last night. I have this pair of 4″ pumps she is particularly fond of, and she mentioned she might like to be fucked in the ass with the heel. They are not stilettos, they are wooden heels, not completely rounded, albeit fairly slender. While I am not one to pooh-pooh anyone’s fantasy, I can’t quite bring myself to believe that this would be safe. Pain factor aside, this seems like it has the potential to be very damaging, especially in the hands (or feet) of someone who has no idea what they’re doing, like myself. Do you have any thoughts as to how I could incorporate her fantasy into our sex life without actually hurting her (and not “hurt” in the good sense)?

–Feeling Like a Heel

You mentioned that you’re inexperienced, so before you approach this shoe fantasy, you’ve got to get some experience with basic anal penetration and sex toys. Start out with dildos and plugs, experiment with different techniques and what your bottom likes until you get really comfortable with them. One of the earliest letters I received for this column was about shoe fucking. A woman wanted to fuck her submissive with the narrow toe of her shoe. You’re talking about the other end, so you’re wise to be cautious.

Whether stiletto or not, a high heel is usually pointed and inflexible enough to make it a less than ideal penetration tool, and since you’re a beginner, I am going to recommend a safe option: the bait and switch technique. Put on the shoes, taunt her, step on her, tease her, tell her how you’re going to fuck her in the ass with those terribly menacing shoes. Then blindfold her, tell her it’s because you want all her senses to be on alert and concentrating on this new and unique sensation. Hidden nearby should be a wooden dildo, selected because you said the heel was wooden. Wooden dildos can be hard to find, but they’re out there (my picks: NobEssence and Jildos). With the image of your shoe heel firmly planted in her mind, the dildo can be firmly planted in her behind! It will have a similar weight and texture, and if you’re good at it, she will never know the difference. When you’re done, drizzle some lube on the shoe heel, take her blindfold off, and everyone will be satisfied!

Dec. 7: Writer/Director Nica Noelle on Her Prolific Career in Adult Films

Dec 042012

This Friday, December 7th on Sex Out Loud Radio, I talk with adult film director Nica Noelle for the final installment of my “Live in LA” series of interviews recorded in studio in Los Angeles. Nica will talk about how she first got into the industry and what led her to write and direct her own films. She’ll delve into what makes a great porn movie, which performers she loves to direct, and how she comes up with story lines. She’ll talk about her new studios Hard Candy and Girl Candy, her foray into gay male porn with Rock Candy, and TransRomantic, which features the first line of adult romance movies starring trans women. Tristan will ask her about fan feedback, her own fantasies, and why cheating is such a popular plot point in her movies. Join us for this fascinating look inside the mind of one of the adult industry’s most successful female directors.

Nica Noelle is one of the most prolific writer/directors working in adult films today. She has been credited with innovating a new approach to capturing sex on film and influencing a generation of adult filmmakers and performers. Ms. Noelle has created six successful studios in the last five years, and is currently working on her seventh with her business partner Executive Producer Jerry Anders of AEBN.net.

Anal Sex Study Mentioned in Salon

Nov 282012

The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy published a study on anal sex last month that was ignored by most folks in the media – except for Debby Herbenick at Salon!

In an incredibly short period of time, anal sex has become a common part of Americans’ sex lives. As of the 1990s, only about one-quarter to one-third of young women and men in the U.S. had tried anal sex at least once. Less than 20 years later, my research team’s 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that as many as 40-45 percent of women and men in some age groups had tried anal sex. With its rising prevalence, I felt it was important to devote a chapter of my first book, “Because It Feels Good,” to anal health and pleasure — only to find that a magazine editor wouldn’t review it because the topic of anal sex was “not in the best interest of our readership.” Even though nearly half of American women in some age groups have done it! She added, “In the correct circles, I personally will be suggesting the book to those with whom I can share such a resource.”

Hmm. The correct circles. Which ones would those be?

Read the whole article here: http://www.salon.com/2012/10/05/anal_sex_sciences_last_taboo/

Nov 30: Meg Barker on Rewriting Relationship Rules and Sassafras Lowrey on Queer Storytelling

Nov 282012

Dr. Meg Barker comes to Sex Out Loud this Friday to discuss her new book, Rewriting the Rules, which addresses our current climate saturated with contradictory love advice. They examine both the old and new rules of relating and questions how useful they might be to managing our relationships today. Then Tristan interviews queer storyteller, author, and educator Sassafras Lowrey about hir novel, Roving Pack, set in an underground world of homeless queer teens. Lowrey will discuss the process of writing the book, responses from the community, as well as give a sneak peek to hir next collection, Leather Ever After, an anthology of kinky fairy tales. Tune in this Friday, November 30th at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT and find out all the ways to listen here!

Dr. Meg Barker is a senior lecturer in psychology at the Open University and a therapist specialising in sexual and relationship issues. Meg has published books on relationships (Understanding Non-monogamies, Routledge), sexuality (Safe, Sane & Consensual, Palgrave MacMillan), and counselling (Understanding Counselling and Psychotherapy, Sage) and is co-editor of the journal Psychology & Sexuality. Meg runs many public and professional events about sex and relationships (e.g. Critical Sexology, Sense about Sex, BiReCon), as well as providing training for the UK College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists. Meg was first author of The Bisexuality Report about bisexual experience in the UK (www.biuk.org). Meg’s most recent book Rewriting the Rules (Routledge) tackles the common ‘rules’ around love and sex that people often feel they must adhere to (www.rewriting-the-rules.com).

Sassafras Lowrey is an internationally award-winning storyteller, author, artist, and educator. Sassafras is the editor of the two time American Library Association honored, and Lambda Literary Finalist Kicked Out anthology (www.KickedOutAnthology.com) which brought together the voices of current and former homeless LGBTQ youth. Hir prose has been included in numerous anthologies and magazines recently ze received an Honorable Mention from the 2011 Astrea Lesbian Writers Fund. and Sassafras regularly lectures and facilitates LGBTQ storytelling workshops at colleges and conferences across the country. Hir debute novel Roving Pack (www.RovingPack.com) will be released October 2012, and ze is currently editing Leather Ever After an anthology of BDSM fairy tale retellings to be released by Ravenous Romance. Sassafras lives in Brooklyn with hir family. To learn more about Sassafras and hir work, visit www.SassafrasLowrey.com

Anal Advisor: New and Hairy

Nov 272012

My wife and I are new to anal sex, but we’ve run into something I hope you can help us with. I’ve noticed that the normal hair around her anus can be kind of rough, as pubic hair can be, and this hair might be causing her some irritation. But we’re not sure if it’s a good idea to shave it off as that might make things worse or cause even more irritation. Any advice for us newbies?

–New and Hairy

Most people who shave their assholes do so for aesthetic reasons: they like a clean shaven asshole better than a furry one. However, the anus is a delicate little bugger, and can be irritated easily by many things, including cheap toilet paper, over wiping, and soaps and lotions. I suppose that some coarse hair could rub that puckered skin the wrong way and lead to some itching and discomfort as well, although I’ll admit it’s not a complaint I hear often.

You’re wise to be concerned about exacerbating the problem, since shaving can also be irritating to the area. I recommend you give it a try, though. Use a fragrance-free and chemical-free shaving cream that’s made especially for sensitive skin. Shave with the grain of the hair and don’t go over the same area too many times. Run cool water over the area after you’re done. If it feels irritated after you’ve patted it dry, apply a little Vitamin A & D ointment. Give it a chance to breathe and relax before you start to play with it. After you play with it, make sure she showers, washes with a mild soap like Castille Soap and reapplies the Vitamin A & D ointment.

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