Preggers and Panicked

Jun 102005
 

My partner and I have been experimenting with anal play for years. We are both very comfortable with it and enjoy it enormously. With my first pregnancy, we had anal sex more than vaginal sex because he felt more at ease. I didn’t mind as I feel extraordinarily close to him during anal lovemaking. I had no hemorrhoids at all during or after my first baby. In the six years since her birth I still had no experience with hemorrhoids and we increased our anal sexual enjoyment tenfold.

With my second pregnancy, we again have had a lot of anal sex. I am now seven months pregnant, and I am experiencing hemorrhoids. I am aware of what they are, how you get them, and the steps to avoid them, but they are still there. Can regular anal sex cause hemorrhoids? I am trying a number of remedies to get rid of them and one is gone, but it seems there is a skin tag or a small pucker of loose skin where it was. Can I expect this to go away or will I always have a remnant? Are there usually remnants of hemorrhoids once they go away or will my ass go back to its normal tight and smooth self? My ass is a BIG part of our sex life and I am worried about how this may affect us. Should I consider surgery to get it back to the way it used to be?

–Preggers and Panicked

Hemorrhoids are blood vessels in and around the anal opening and lower rectum that have filled with blood and gotten very swollen; they can cause itching, irritation, bleeding and pain, especially during bowel movements. Getting hemorrhoids is extremely common for pregnant women for a few reasons: constipation can be common during pregnancy, and straining during bowel movements causes hemorrhoids; an increase in certain hormones causes the walls of your veins to relax which means they can get swollen more easily; the uterus puts pressure on pelvic veins causing them to swell. The fact that you didn’t get them the first time around was very lucky. The cause of your hemorrhoids is your pregnancy, not the anal sex. Although, while you’re having a flare up, anal sex can aggravate the condition by irritating your already inflamed anus.

A skin tag that appears after a hemorrhoid (also known as a hemorrhoid tab) is the result of a swollen external hemorrhoid, usually one that’s serious and not properly treated. Skin tags do not go away on their own. Most skin tags are benign, and they can be removed by a physician. My concern is that you are treating your hemorrhoids yourself, and improper treatment may have caused the first skin tag, and you don’t want to get any more. I suggest you consult a doctor about your hemorrhoids and the skin tag to see what your options are. In the meantime, make your health and pregnancy your priority for now, and try not to stress too much about your sex life. After your baby is born and you can treat your hemorrhoids with the help of a doctor, then you get back into the swing of things. With patience and good medical treatment, your anal sex life should not be affected.

ATM and ATV Fan

Jun 022005
 

I’ve been doing extensive research, and I’ve yet to find a site that is willing to explore the eroticism of ass-to-mouth and/or ass-to-vaginal play. I’ve read everywhere that both can be dangerous because of the risk of infections, but my girlfriend and I have been seeing more and more of it recently in porn, and quite frankly, curiosity has stirred in both of us. In the movies, guys go straight from one orifice to another, so unless this is a camera trick, it is being done. Because the porn industry is highly regulated, I’m sure it is being done safely. But I want to make sure since I do not want to endanger her in anyway. Is there a safe and hygienic way to go from ass-to-mouth and from ass-to-pussy?

–ATM and ATV Fan

The porn industry is self-regulated and has strict standards for HIV and STD testing. Beyond that, you must remember that the industry is not a monolithic entity, but a diverse group of people that includes producers, directors, and performers. These people make choices every day about what sex acts they will perform and capture on film. Adult films can depict behavior that some of us may deem risky or even dangerous. Some movies begin with a disclaimer about safer sex practices or a “don’t necessarily try this at home” kind of statement. Porn is a great tool for couples to explore fantasies, but you shouldn’t always assume what you see on the small screen is safe for you or follow it to the letter.

Taking a finger, toy, or cock and moving it directly from an ass to a pussy puts the owner of that pussy at risk for infection. There is bacteria that lives in the rectum (and in fecal matter) that, when introduced into the vagina, will likely set up shop and cause a vaginal infection. Does it happen every single time? No. Do some female porn stars practice ass to pussy and remain infection-free? Sure. But those who do are usually the exception.

As for the ass to mouth route, you’re faced with the same issue: a transfer of rectal bacteria and possibly fecal matter to someone’s kisser. If she has cuts in her mouth or bleeding gums, that bacteria can go directly into her bloodstream. There are a few ways to enact these fantasies more safely. When you pull your dick out of her ass, have a baby wipe handy, give your cock a few swipes, then head toward her pussy or mouth. Baby wipes don’t kill anything, but they can remove some bacteria. Or wear a condom for the buttfucking, then slip it off before you switch from ass to other orifice. I know that condoms and baby wipes may dampen the fantasy of dirty, nasty sex, but better to be safe than sorry.

Desperately Seeking The A-Spot

May 292005
 

I am on a maddening search to find information online about the A-spot on/in a woman. We’ve all heard plenty about the G-spot but the A is not so much talked about. Have you heard about it and can you advise me where it is exactly and how it is stimulated?

–Desperately Seeking The A-Spot

I pride myself on knowing nearly everything there is to know about the ass, and I’ve never heard of the A-Spot! If you’re searching for the equivalent to the G-spot in a girl’s behind, the bad news is that there isn’t one. Men have a prostate which is sometimes referred to as the male G-spot (I’ve never heard it called the A-spot, although I suppose it could be). You can stimulate the prostate through anal penetration and it’s very pleasurable for guys, but there isn’t an exact equivalent for chicks.

The good news is that if you’re hunting for sensitive spots inside a woman’s butt, there are plenty. The anus, anal canal, and rectum are all made of sensitive tissue that’s rich in nerve endings and very responsive to all kinds of stimulation. Plus, many women find that their G-spots get indirectly stimulated through anal penetration; some even say that an anal orgasm feels a lot like the orgasm they experience from direct G-spot stimulation. To indirectly hit the G-spot, slip a finger or two inside the ass and aim toward the front of the body (just like when you want to get to the G-spot); curved dildos and vibrators can also be great for anal penetration and indirect G-spot stimulation. You can call off your search for the A-spot — there isn’t just one spot, the whole butt is fair game!

Going Back to the Backdoor

May 132005
 

Many years ago, I had anal sex with a man I was very much in love with. I am now getting involved in a new relationship. My new lover knows that I have had anal sex before, but he does not know how long it has been. My question is: since I have not had anal sex for a long time, will we have to start from the beginning?

–Going Back to the Backdoor

Besides saying “a long time,” you didn’t specify exactly how long it’s been since you’ve had a cock up your ass. A year? Five years? Ten years? If it’s been more than a few years, then you should start slowly. Begin with lots of foreplay and lube and work your way up to one finger or a slim toy, and don’t go any farther than that. Next time, you can experiment with two fingers. You want to re-introduce the pleasures of buttfucking to your ass in a gradual way.

Don’t think of it as a chore, but instead use it as an opportunity to re-experience the first time you ever had something in your ass. You and your guy can revel in the excitement, the slight resistance, the de-flowering of that tight little hole. Relish each new step when your ass is able to take a little more. The body does have memory, so I suspect that it may take less time to build from fingers to your new lover’s dick, but everyone is different. Listen to your body, honor its boundaries, and take it as slow as you need to.

Backdoor Couple

Apr 172005
 

I have recently started dating a girl who, like me, really enjoys anal intercourse. Obviously we are at the start of the relationship and are having multiple encounters that include much anal play and some anal intercourse. We are both well versed in all of the basics of anal play i.e. lube, cleanliness, order of entry etc. If we engage in anal intercourse three or four times a week, should we be concerned about long-term damage to her ass due to such frequency?

–Backdoor Couple

As long as you’re following the general rules for safe and pleasurable anal play — go slow, relax, use plenty of lube, work your way up to intercourse — then you’re not in any danger of causing harm in the short or long term. The majority of people who develop health issues because of anal sex combine drugs and alcohol with their play or push their bodies too far too fast. Make sure your girlfriend listens to her body, and if her ass feels sore or tired, then give it a brief vacation; otherwise, have as much anal play as you like. In fact, anal sex can increase circulation to the anal area as well as tone and exercise the anal sphincter muscles. So, the more good butt sex you have, the healthier your butt can be!

Anal Novice

Apr 082005
 

Is there a rule of thumb about eating before anal sex so as not to disrupt anal activity with bowel movement? Should you time meals in a particular way? Should you fast before anal sex, and, if so, for how long?

–Anal Novice

Everyone’s digestive system is different, so there is no universal rule of thumb when it comes to how your gastrointestinal system works. You know your ass, your bathroom schedule, and your regularity better than anyone else. However, as a general guideline, you should have a bowel movement before anal penetration in order to empty your bowels and ‘clear the runway’ for anal play. Eating a big meal before a hot anal sex date is probably not the best idea since it’s likely to stimulate digestion. In addition, if you have a particularly sensitive system, then avoid foods that are spicy or especially hard for your body to digest. I don’t recommend that people fast before anal sex, since fasting can cause a drop in blood sugar levels, and it’s never ideal to have sex while lightheaded and hungry. Fasting can also disrupt your body’s natural processes, throwing everything out of whack.

Pumped Up

Mar 302005
 

My boyfriend and I recently discovered the pleasure of penis pumping, and I’m thinking of getting a vaginal pump. But lately I have been using my guy’s penis pump on my asshole, and I love the sensation and the feeling. I was wondering if you have ever done this, and if it is a safe practice?

–Pumped Up

Many men and women have discovered the joys of pumping. For readers who may not know about it, a penis pump works like this: your cock goes inside a hard plastic cylinder which either has a built-in pump or an external one. As you pump, air is sucked out of the cylinder, and the vacuum-like suction sends blood rushing to the cock. This helps the cock become erect, enhances an erection by giving it a bigger appearance (temporarily), and creates a sucking sensation which many men love. Women can use the same pumping mechanism with the nipple attachment (a much smaller cylinder), which works great on the clitoris. There are also pussy pumps on the market made especially for women. The same principles apply: blood rushes to the clit, making is more swollen (and often more sensitive) than usual. I’ve pumped my own clit, and find that not only is it hot to see my clit all fat and thick, but clitoral stimulation is a lot more intense after I’ve pumped.

I’ve never used a pump on my butthole. The puckered skin of the asshole is sensitive tissue that’s incredibly rich in nerve endings and gets engorged when you’re aroused much like the rest of our genitals. So, it makes sense that when you apply suction to it, blood rushes to the area and creates a pleasurable sensation. Similar cautions for all pumping apply: use a little lube inside the cylinder for a comfortable, easier fit; be careful not to pinch the delicate skin when inserting it into the cylinder; do not over-pump or leave the cylinder on for too long.

Drunken Asswoman

Mar 102005
 

My husband and I routinely do anal play together, and he is tempted to try pouring alcohol into my ass, like wine or vodka. Is it possible to get drunk by ingesting alcohol through one’s ass? Are there any implications from putting alcohol in one’s ass?

–Drunken Asswoman

Not only is it possible to get drunk by having any kind of alcoholic beverage poured into your ass, it’s inevitable. When you drink a glass of wine or vodka, it has the benefit of passing through your stomach and liver, where it’s broken down by enzymes before entering the bloodstream. However, because of the absorptive capacity of the rectum and colon, when you absorb alcohol through your ass, it goes directly into your bloodstream. This means that a much smaller amount will make you very drunk. It’s very dangerous to ingest alcohol the way you describe (essentially via an alcohol enema) and could even result in alcohol poisoning. If you want to drink, do it with your mouth. If you want an enema, use plain warm water.

Woodstock Girl

Feb 272005
 

I love anal sex — much more than vaginal. I love the pressure just before the head pops in and that little ache as it does. What I am having problems with is that everything that goes in my ass seems too long. It feels almost like the dick or the toy is hitting something inside of me, and it hurts. I have a friend I play with and we do a lot of BDSM scenes, especially rape scenes and punishment-type scenes. He would like to see just how much my butt can take, and I do love the width of everything, especially the next day. Can you help me with the length problem?

–Woodstock Girl

Unlike the vagina, the rectum is not a straight tube. It has a gentle curve, first tipping forward toward the front of the body, then away, then forward again. Everyone’s curves are different, and some are more pronounced than others. As a result, if you stick anything straight inside the rectum, you can wind up hitting the rectal wall, which is not a good feeling for anyone. It sounds like that may be the sensation you described. Have your partner experiment with different positions and angles when he fucks you in the ass, and see if there’s one that allows for penetration without the pain. Toys made of flexible materials are more comfortable and bend easier with your curves; if a toy itself is curved, the curve should be aimed toward the front of the body. All that said, you can also have a short rectum. Since you get pleasure from wide toys, I say invest is some short but wide dildos or butt plugs — go with what works!

Ready to Blow Up

Feb 182005
 

Do you recommend using inflatable dildos to stretch the rectum?

–Ready to Blow Up

I don’t recommend anything to literally stretch the rectum. Toys are a great tool to teach the ass to relax and open up, to get it accustomed to being penetrated, and to warm up for more. It’s not stretching as much as it’s expanding, since the rectum has the ability expand when a person is turned on and relaxed. Inflatable dildos and butt plugs are a fun toy to play with, and they are also a great way to gradually increase the width of a toy you can take in your ass without investing in a new one. Make sure you inflate the toy before you put it in your ass to measure its limit, then you can gradually work your way up from one pump to several pumps!

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