Fucking a Fluid-Filled Bottom

Sep 132004
 

For the last few months, my lover had been hankering to try anal sex. After reading your advice, buying lots of lube, and experimenting with a host of toys, we finally managed to get his gorgeous cock all the way in my bottom and fuck me — and I had a fantastic orgasm! Since he’d never had anal sex before, as you can imagine, he is now a very happy bunny and wants more! He currently has a fantasy about filling my bottom with lots of creamy liquid, and then fucking me like that.

We’ve seen stuff like this in porn movies, but I’m curious about how they do it and how we should do it. What liquid do we use and how much would be safe? I’ve been giving myself brief enemas before our anal play so I’m kind of used to stuff being there. I’m not sure how long it’d stay there and if there are any safety concerns I should be aware of. Any suggestions would be appreciated, and thanks for all the great advice you give people.

–Fucking a Fluid-Filled Bottom

Congrats on joining the anal bottom brigade, and thanks for sharing your fun fantasy with me and your fellow readers. In general, I am a purist about what people should put in their asses: I endorse only plain water, lube, ejaculate, fingers, cocks, tongues, and toys. I discourage exotic enema ingredients, ice cream sundae toppings, and other equally wacky substances.

But, in the case of your sweetheart’s idea, you’re in luck. He can fill your ass with lube! There are several great water-based lubes on the market – including Hydra Smooth, Sensual Power, and Liquid Silk — which have creamy consistencies. In fact, they have a look and feel that’s a lot like a man’s cum (which I think may be what your guy is going for). Plus, they are lubricants, designed for penetration, and therefore, totally safe! If he wants to really fill you up, you may want to buy a plastic disposable syringe (available at medical supply stores and some drug stores), which he can fill with lube, and “shoot” up your ass.

If he succeeds in filling your ass, remember, what goes in must come out. You may be a little runny for a day, as all that lube works its way out of your ass, so keep that in mind; I’d avoid, say, silk pants, for a few days.

Cut Cock

Aug 292004
 

About 6 days ago, while having anal sex with my girlfriend, I had an odd thing happen: it felt like I hit something sharp inside her ass. It was not a painful feeling, just sharp, so we continued and had no other problems. Two days after this incident, I noticed a red mark on the head of my penis, in the exact spot where I’d felt that sharp sensation. The mark doesn’t hurt, the area has not been any more sensitive than usual, and I don’t feel odd otherwise. As the days passed, the mark seemed to be healing, however now I realize that it looks like it is leaving a scar. Have you ever heard of anything like this happening before? What could I have hit inside her that could have scarred my penis? I am uncircumcised, so I have a fairly sensitive penis, but this is definitely not a lube allergy, it’s more like a cut. What do you think it is and what should I do?

–Cut Cock

What you describe is pretty perplexing for several reasons. First, the only “things” that should be in someone’s rectum are bacteria, possibly fecal matter, and anything your girlfriend stuck in her own ass. Let’s rule out bacteria. Let’s assume that there was nothing else in her ass but you. Did she play with a toy recently that somehow broke into pieces in her ass? Since you did not mention it, I will assume the answer is no.

We are left with the concept that you ran into some fecal matter in her rectum, and that fecal matter contained something sharp. That scenario first makes me wonder, was your girlfriend in any pain? Because if there was something truly sharp in her fecal matter, she would have to have swallowed it, meaning it passed through her intestines, which would cause great discomfort before it even made it as far as her rectum. It seems to be she would not have been in the mood to get fucked in the ass if that was the case.

Let’s say she felt fine. The next clue you gave is that you have a sensitive cock. You may have encountered something harmless, like an undigested seed from something she ate, and the feeling it produced was magnified because of your sensitivity. But, even in the case of a seed, which could feel sharp to an engorged cock, it shouldn’t do any permanent damage. The scrape that you described (that is beginning to scar) is mysterious. If by now it has indeed scarred, then I suggest you have it checked out by a doctor.

Perplexed About A Butt

Aug 182004
 

Are some women’s butts more pre-disposed to anal intercourse than others? I know we are all different, with different bodies, needs, and desires, but I wonder if there is a physical component to achieving success in anal penetration. My current partner loves anal sex, and she can have these long, all-over-her-body orgasms when I fuck her that way. With my last girlfriend, however, I wanted on many occasions to have anal sex, but could never get it right. We did loads of foreplay, including massaging, oral with loads of clitoral stimulation, anal rimming, licking, loads of lube etc. With all that said and done, her butthole never loosened up very much, and didn’t get vaguely close to me getting myself in there. Is she just not an ‘A’ candidate, or was I missing something somewhere?

–Perplexed About A Butt

Yours is a very interesting question, one I think could be asked about all sorts of sexual desires and acts, not just anal penetration. You’re correct about how individual we all are; while our anatomy may be similar, our sexuality — how we liked to be touched, what turns us on, what combinations of sensations and scenarios brings us to orgasm — can be almost as unique as our fingerprints. Certainly, there are some women who seem to enjoy anal pleasure more than others, and I can say from experience that some women have an easier time than others. When I say easy, though, know that all the same rules still apply; you still must use lube, go slow, and make sure her body is warmed up. Likewise, there are plenty of women who tell me that they enjoy anal, but it takes them a lot of time to relax and open up, and on some occasions, it just won’t happen.

I appreciate your dedication to your previous girlfriend; it sounds like you made all the right moves, but even with the best effort, sometimes foreplay isn’t enough. In addition to the physical aspects of anal play, there are psychological and emotional components that cannot be ignored. If a woman is feeling unsure, nervous, anxious, or conflicted about receiving anal pleasure, then no amount of expert cunnilingus or rimming may change her mind. Sometimes, working through a partner’s fears about anal play — whether it’s the potential mess or pain, or feeling dirty for just wanting it — are the key to opening up. Free her mind, and (hopefully) her ass will follow.

Waiting to Come

Aug 052004
 

I am a heterosexual married man, and I have been occasionally stimulated myself with a finger during masturbation for years. I recently convinced my wife to try a strap on a dildo and fuck me. As I expected, I enjoyed both the physical stimulation and the psychological joy of giving myself up to her as the penetrator. But try as we may, the buttfucking could not get me to orgasm. I have heard that direct prostrate stimulation can cause orgasm and ejaculation. But for me, even though we reached a point where a modest, 5-6″ dildo was all the way in and being generously worked, I could get just at the edge of orgasm but not quite there.

Not that I’m complaining, because the whole encounter was great. If I was at the same point of arousal and pleasure as I was fucking my wife, I couldn’t have held back. But anally, to put it bluntly, I was able to be buttfucked at that same pinacle of near orgasm delight for as long as my wife could go and I could take NOT coming. The whole time it felt like “just a little faster, or harder, or deeper and I’ll come.” It was incredible, but also disappointing. Am I going to have to have my penis stimulated to get an orgasm, or is it a matter of working up to a larger dildo to hit the prostate?

–Waiting to Come

Before I answer your question, thanks for your testimonial about the joys of being buttfucked by your wife; I hope it serves as an inspiration to all your hetero-male bretheren! This is not a problem of size, I can assure you, because the prostate is just a few inches inside the rectum, so something bigger or longer is not going to solve this quandary. First, I want to encourage you to add cock stimulation to the mix since guys like to be stimulated in both places at once; try working your dick as she fucks you and see if the result is different. Second, you may experience a different kind of orgasm from prostate stimulation than you do from having your penis stimulated manually, orally or via penetration. Many men report that they have all the sensations of an orgasm without ejaculation. So, it may be simply a matter of re-orienting your mind around a different expectation of an orgasm. Third, you may still be able to come and shoot from a good assfucking, and in that case, practice makes perfect!

Burned Butt

Jul 282004
 

I’ve had a black vinyl butt plug for two years and I think that a chemical film or something has developed on the surface that makes it burn when I insert it into my girlfriend’s ass. Would an automotive-type vinyl restorer make my butt toys last longer?

–Burned Butt

Latex rubber, jelly rubber, and vinyl sex toys are inexpensive for a reason: they do not last forever. I recommend that folks replace toys made of these materials after twelve months for the exact reason you report: the material starts to break down, and often causes stinging, burning, itching, and other discomfort when used.

No, a vinyl restorer sold in automotive supply stories is not a good idea; not only will it not help stop the toy from deteriorating, but you do not want any product like that (or traces of it) in your ass! Throw the toy and buy a new one, or, for your next purchase, try a higher quality silicone toy. Silicone can be much more pricey, but it’s also a lot more resilient. My silicone toys have lasted for many years, and some brands even come with lifetime guarantees.

Enema Edge Player

Jul 142004
 

I bought a simple Fleet enema at the drugstore, and I have a few questions. Can I use it as is, or should I replace what’s in the bottle with water? Here’s why I am asking: I like to experience some good hard erotic cramping during enema play. My girlfriend and I often do enemas together, and we like to see which one of us can hold it the longest and who can handle the cramps without showing much discomfort. Is that safe? Because it’s awfully fun.

–Enema Edge Player

When I teach a basic class on enemas, I instruct people on two important points: the ingredients of an enema and the temperature. A Fleet enema (or most other brands you buy at the local drugstore) contains a laxative, and you do not need a laxative. You just need plain, warm water, which is why you should empty the contents of the store-bought enema bottle, rinse it out and refill it with warm water. If you’ve heard of more exotic enemas, with ingredients like champagne, espresso, wine, or other things, beware: these can make you very, very sick. So stick to plain water only.

I recommend that the water be warm so it’s as close to body temperature as possible; usually, the warmer the water, the more comfortable the enema. Most people will have little or no cramping when the temperature is right. Cold water causes discomfort and cramps that most people won’t like. I say most people because I do know enema fetishists who like to deliberately inflict discomfort and cramping on themselves or their partners.

Let me first say that this is considered “edge play” among enema fans, and inexperienced enema givers and receivers should not try this at home. I can tell that you’re a much more seasoned enema player, so I won’t admonish you for your sadomasochistic twist on this intimate form of play. One word of caution: don’t overdo the cold-water, cramp-inducing sessions. You can stress your gastrointestinal tract and disturb the delicate balance of your insides, which is never a good idea. As for you and your partner’s little game, it sounds like a great endurance contest for the BDSM Olympics! Again, a good rule of thumb for all this kind of play: everything in moderation.

Going for the Gape

Jun 302004
 

I am a thirty year old woman in a D/s relationship. My Master really enjoyed something that I unknowingly did last night. I was in “doggie style” position, and he was playing with my ass from behind. I was very, very aroused and without knowing or trying, I experienced what I have seen you refer to as “the gape.” It turned him on a great deal. I was able to continue this for quite while, even while alternating contracting and relaxing my sphincter muscles. Then, suddenly, I just couldn’t reproduce the gape again no matter how I tried. If you have any information on how I might cultivate or encourage this skill, I would be most grateful.

–Going for the Gape

It sounds to me like you stumbled upon something that other people work pretty hard to achieve! Usually in order to get the gape, you need to be very turned on (as you said you were) and have an extended anal penetration scene to get your sphincter muscles to relax and open up. For some women, having something sizable in their ass for a while is enough to bring on the gape. From the description of your experience, you have a good awareness of and control over those muscles, which can also help you go for the gape. In addition to trying to contract and relax the sphincters, you may also want to try to bear down slightly, and see what effect that produces. Continuous penetration of some kind may be the key to extending the gape for you, since it sounds like, at some point, the banging stopped, and you were just flexing your muscles. If your Master continues to play with your ass, thus stimulating the area, I bet you’ll be able to extend the gape.

Mistress of His Ass

Jun 152004
 

My boyfriend is ultra submissive in just one area: his ass. He doesn’t go for the Mistress thing, lick-my-boot mentality, but when it comes to his ass (which is the focus of his fantasies and always how he’s able to come) he’s full sub. I know exactly what he needs that way, pain and humiliation. Directed at his ass. Insulting HIM gets us nowhere, but insulting HIS ASS does. My snag is this: there are only so many ways to insult an ass. Degrading his ass, calling it a cunt or pussy gets him off in a snap. Is there any way to get good ideas to boost my imagination so play is not monotonous for either of us?

–Mistress of His Ass

Plenty of people get off on pain, humiliation, degradation, and overall submission. Clearly your boyfriend’s submissiveness is tied directly to his ass and anal play. There are many ways to combine submission and anal pleasure. You’ve already insulted his ass, but have you also tried to insult and humiliate him for wanting his ass penetrated, for being a naughty butt boy? Take all the cultural baggage that comes with anal pleasure, and use it to your advantage, as a psychological tool: it’s dirty, taboo, dangerous, and will make him gay. Of course those aren’t true, but these myths can make for great mindfuck material.

If he likes extreme submission, you may also want to explore forced anal penetration or anal rape scenes; that’s tricky territory, so tread lightly. It also sounds like there is an element of gender play in your man’s fantasies, since he enjoys having his ass be called his pussy. Try to explore that part of his desire further. Does he want to crossdress, to be girl? Does he want to be forced to do it? Forced feminization is quite popular and may be part of what he’s try to express in the anal play you’re currently having. See if he will open up about and be specific about his submissive anal desires, and use what he gives you to take things to the next level.

Wanting More

Jun 032004
 

As long as we do lots of foreplay and my body is prepared, I don’t have a problem with pain during anal penetration. However, after about four inches of cock in my ass, I get abdominal pain that I can’t get past, no matter how relaxed or aroused I am. We’ve tried changing positions, but no matter what, it’s as if there is a road block. This is frustrating for me, and I know that for my husband, who wants his balls to slap my pussy on the downswing, it has to be downright maddening. I asked a girlfriend who’s into anal if she had ever experienced this, and she says that around the seven inch mark, her guy seems to hit a wall. Is it possible that there is a sharp bend that is preventing full penetration? Is there a technique to get around the discomfort I am experiencing? Swing to the left? Swing to the right?

–Wanting More

The first two inches inside the anus is called the anal canal, and the rectum is the area from the anal canal to the colon, which is another five to seven inches. Unlike the vagina, where you’ve got a pretty straight shot from end to end, the rectum is curved. That’s especially important to know when penetrating someone’s ass with anything longer than a finger, and especially with a dildo or vibrator that is firm and inflexible (like one made of hard plastic, clear acrylic, or glass). If you jam something (especially something rock hard) straight inside you can absolutely hit the rectal wall, which does not feel good. As you get more turned on, the rectum expands, and the curves are less pronounced, but they are still present.

So, the “four inch” stopping point you describe could correspond with the first curve of the rectum, when it curves toward the front of the body. Everyone’s internal geography is unique, and it’s possible that your rectum is more curvy than others. I’ve heard people report similar feelings of facing a roadblock inside their asses.

You’ve already tried changing positions, which would be my first suggestion. I suggest that you pick a long, very flexible toy, and, while masturbating, begin exploring your ass with it. Take note of the curve of the rectum, what feels good and what doesn’t, and if you can find your roadblock, or if you develop discomfort. Experiment with moving the toy forward or back inside of you to see if that changes anything. If you can find the trouble spot, see if you can move past it or around it, again, by moving it toward the front of the body or toward the back. If you are still experiencing problems, I suggest you talk to your doctor about it and have a rectal exam.

Bun Lover

May 202004
 

Is butt cheek fucking, or what is sometimes known as “hot dogging,” a common practice? I know tit fucking is quite common but I’ve never seen much talk of cheek fucking. Why do I never read about it in magazines or even see anything about it on the internet? Is it something that turns women off? Have you ever tried it? If so, did you get anything out of it? Let me know if you have come across it, and what your opinions are.

–Bun Lover

You’ve hit on something here, Bun Lover: there are plenty of erotic images of cocks sliding between breasts, but little or no comparable representations of hot dogging! I suspect that in this age of porn featuring a veritable menu of Olympic-like sexual acts (like double penetration and double anals), butt cheek fucking is probably seen as far too innocent. Certainly we’ve seen dicks slide between ass cheeks, but it’s usually a brief shot before penetration. As for the “turn on” factor you asked about, well, just like with every other desire, fantasy, and fetish, it totally depends on the person. I actually do enjoy it, but I may be more anally-inclined than the average girl. Sometimes, I like butt cheek fucking as a tease; other times, if I am craving anal pleasure but my ass isn’t in the mood for penetration, butt cheek fucking along with some good dirty talk can totally get me off.

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